Dating with autism is not fun! (Page 2)

[NatalieKeller95]

most autists are slated to die alone so just stop resisting and accept the path the universe has drawn for you, I'm not going to lie and say it's going to happen and all that fluff the truth is most women and men do not want anyone with limitations of any kind, truth may be cold but so is the world we live in

[Lynx122]

I'd be ok with that too I'm not gonna force anything. I'm not scared of being alone.

[NatalieKeller95]

sociopath weirdo

[Guffrus]

Hey Nat, go kill yourself.

[TheLawAroundHere]

I mean this with absolutely all due respect. Please excuse me and my... almost total ignorance of this topic.

Would it be easier to date another autistic person, and have a "helper" come along? I dont mean "helper", exactly. Maybe someone who could make this process easier for the both of you?

Is something like that reasonable?

[Lynx122]

I just got diagnosed recently so I'm still figuring a lot of stuff out and I haven't gone to meet other autistic people yet but I'll definitely try that.

[crazy8000]

It becomes as hard as you make it.

You can learn non verbal communication. It's only attitude that will determine if you will learn or not.
If you haven't realized it yet those within autism spectrum and ADHD spectrum are oversensitive with non verbal communication just like HSP/empath. use that as your superpower. and look into others eyes when you're interested is a good thing, usually creates sparks especially if you think and feel you are into that person.

[GreenGold1992]

I'm also autistic so I can relate to this so much. I think my problem is I don't get out enough cuz I don't always have a way to get around. But even when I do get out, I don't always know what to say when approaching women and reading whether they're interested or not.

[YHL6965]

Great, now I think I have autism based on what you just said because my experience is very similar. I never got diagnosed but I always felt "different" to most people.

[Lynx122]

Maybe you should see someone it can help but it's up to you :). Yeah I do too ever since I was a kid. Sometimes I feel really connected with people but sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong world and I ask myself if I'm even human or from another species :P.

[YHL6965]

Dude, stop reading my mind :D

[Lynx122]

Sorry I'm a mutant it's my gift :)

[YHL6965]

Heh, funny because I also have a tendency to be good at "reading people". It does not work on all of them and I detect sad emotions more easily but it's very handy in many social situations. It makes social interactions more "efficient" and predictable I guess.

[CaptainSmartass]

I've found that the main issue for me is that I don't have the balls to approach a woman I fancy, so I've basically give up on relationships and dating. Having read your take, I think it might be worth you considering doing the same.

Simples...

[Lynx122]

This isn't the problem for me I do feel nervous sometimes approaching women but I can overcome it. Everything after that though can be problematic.

[RolandCuthbert]

Wow, it seems like your post hit a nerve. That's incredible seeing that this doesn't seem to be a relationship forum. The posts that attract attention are mostly political.

[bamesjond0069]

Why don't you date another autistic? This seems like the obvious solution.

[Lynx122]

I will try that. I was only diagnosed recently so I didn't even know why I was having problems before then. I knew I was different in some way but I didn't know why. I still need to figure out my life a bit better before I date but I will definitely give it a try :).

[lovedejj_xo]

My close friend is on the spectrum he has a hard time but he’s capable. The girl he’s talking to now is on the spectrum as well.

[Lemia]

Dating is hard in general without disorders. You just need to find a girl that will listen and not act like your broken

[Insomnia72]

I'm just curious... have you dated others with autism? How did that go if you ever did?

Again, I'm just curious. I mean no disrespect.

[Lynx122]

I was just diagnosed a few months ago and I've been way to stressed by my job till now but I definitely wanna try and go to a group or something. Just to meet some people who can fully understand how life is for me. So I'll give it a try I don't know yet if it helps.

[Insomnia72]

I was just curious because as someone who suffers from insomnia and other related syndromes as a result, I don't necessarily get along with anyone, nor would I with someone with my condition as well. it's like dealing with someone who is troubled and so annoying to me. One would think I'd be as compassionate, though yes... but wanting to spend time with them, date them? Whoa!

Thanks for answering honestly :) I was just wondering. If someone with the same condition as mine, coming at me and would I be just as tolerate and compassationate? I would like to think so YES... but I might be overwhelmed. I don't know if I could tolerate it. So thanks for sharing. May the universe bless you :D

[MysteriousDarkness]

I have what was high functioning autism or Asperger's Syndrome. Now it is Level 1 autism. I have been in a relationship for 6 years 2 months 1 week 2 days. I do get how it can be hard dating since you might have a hard time reading body language.

[Lynx122]

Did you just come here to brag?

[MysteriousDarkness]

I was just making a point that I understand what you are going through but that I also managed to find someone so it is possible for someone on the autism spectrum depending on where they are on it.

[Lynx122]

Ok :)

[sheepdip]

I work with autistic kids and this is accurate in every way. I'm on the spectrum myself so I've experienced a lot of what you've said here.

Good post.

[Anonymous]

That's very helpful considering I am dating a guy with autism thank you

[Lynx122]

you're welome :)

[WalterRadio]

Hopefully someday there will be a fetal test for autism and it can be eradicated.

[crazy8000]

Ignorance is a bliz

[dragoblack]

Mine isn't super bad but my communication issues is definitely a big limiter, same with being a major introvert.

[Piteka5]

Yeah it's true, my little brother has autism and he struggles in some of those things, he hasn't worried with dating at all yet, so he's cool on that front, but sooner or later he will find interest in someone

[lillyLilith]

This post was very insightful! Learned a few things, thank you.

[Gstacy703]

Are people with autism slow to react and learn things?

[NatalieKeller95]

that's basically mentally retarded

[dragoblack]

Not all, that's mainly the down syndrome part of the spectrum the more functional hard to notice part of the spectrum is aspergers. Myself have slight aspergers, and the main issue is communicating the point/intention across without getting misinterpreted and not knowing what to say at the right time

[CaptainSmartass]

@dragoblack I thought down syndrome was a separate condition, but then again, I'm not a doctor...

[Dyrunn]

Both yes and no. Their reaction can be slow if they were very focused on something and suddenly have to react to something else, but if they were already aware their reaction is quite normal. When it's slow, it's not because their thinking is slow (it is normal to fast rate), but because like the picture shows, they have to think about much more than the average person before coming to an answer, because they are less good at filtering what is useful and what not. But for example, when I did karate I was able to stop a kick to my head with my hands without even thinking it or consciously noticing that the other person had started kicking, so reaction times are normal in uncomplicated or trained situations. And on learning, it again, depends. There are people with autism who learn to speak new languages fluently in weeks, and I know a guy with very obvious autism who is extremely fast in solving computer programming problems, even ones that he has never seen before. However, those same people who learn maths or languages or programming very fast, might need much more time than normal to learn how to cook or clean or some other less structured activity, because it takes them longer to see which information is relevant and which is not. For example, when I was studying law, I would try reading those thick 400- to 1000-page books for exams, and then fail. But then when I just made a lot of notes during lectures and asked a lot of questions without ever opening the books, I would succeed at all my exams immediately and with only 4 hours of work each week instead of 40, simply because I'd no longer be distracted by all the extra information that was in the books.

[Omar5881]

This is really well written I enjoyed your writing style, anyways i currently suffer from depression and loneliness and things are hard for me on the dating scene