Why you SHOULD date someone with Autism!

[MoonNieve]

Good day fellow members of GAG,

Today I will be arguing my case on why you SHOULD date someone with Autism. Firstly I'd like to identify a few opinions on the specific question on here titled 'Would you date someone with Autism' where people discussed their reason's why the would/would not date a person with Autism. While some people spoke about their preferences, which of course, they are allowed, there was a lot of ignorance on this specific post. People labelling people with autism as 'Crazy' ( love a little of discrimination hey?) and generally coming across a very uneducated on Autism as a whole.

My Backstory

I have always had an idea that I was 'different' from a very young age when a social situation like the school classroom was almost unbearable for me due to the noises coming from all different directions. I was bullied a lot for having no friends and had extreme anxiety from the thought of trying to make friends with anyone. As an adult, it was very tricky, as I blossomed into a young beautiful woman (I'm not saying this arrogantly, I just did get approached quite a lot by men) my issue is, the way I looked did not match who I am inside. I looked like someone that had a lot of confidence in myself, however anytime a man would approach me I'd have absolutely no idea they were hitting on me (I can't really read people ) and wouldn't really know what to do. I was eventually diagnosed at 30 years old (Officially) and I now have a better understanding myself, and have actually been able to recognise all of the benefits of me having Autism.

My argument

I personally feel like, as an autistic person there are a lot of good qualities my different way of thinking can benefit people.

• Because my brain processes things differently, I often can give different perspectives to situations that may be a neurotypical person might not gather.
• I am very blunt/brutally honest/to the point, so a lot of people are comfortable with me because they know where they stand with me, as opposed to these silly games that people play, I know exactly what I want.
• There is a misconception that autistic people do not feel emotions, this is completely false. Actually, studies have shown that autistic people experience feelings and emotions that are stronger and deeper than a neurotypical person. We just take a little longer to show it. You will probably have your ASD experience love for you more than what a neurotypical person does.
• Enthusiastic about my interests. When I have something I am extremely interested in, I will talk about it passionately (in this instance it's my career in mental health where I am so passionate about helping people I stay up till late at night on depression social media groups helping people. I also adore clothes and love pretty outfits) I think it is important to have a passion.
• Stronger Orgasms? - This is personal to me, but without being crude. I am a very sensory person, so, for instance, tickling is unbearable for me because the feeling is so strong, but on the other end of the spectrum, orgasms are so powerful because I am so sensitive. I LOVE touch, and actually, I don't think there hasn't been a time where I wasn't satisfied in bed because I just loved being touched so much in that way (this may not be for all autistics though)

I hope that people don't take this the wrong way, I just feel there is such a negative stance on autism, that people need to be educated that Autism doesn't automatically equal Non-Verbal, delayed learning, obvious traits. There are many of us that, unless inspected further, you would have no idea if you met us that we are autistic unless we told you. What's a little frustrating is when it changes someone whole perspective of you, despite you being quite at peace that you are indeed different :)

Thank you for reading my myTake.

[MadBoy]

As someone with Autism myself, I'd like to add a few things that would help this argument.

Loyal to the end. You give an autistic person love, and they'd follow you to the ends of the earth.
Will do everything to help. After all, you gave them a chance. They'd help you no matter what.
A whole new world you'd never think of. Different ideas, different thoughts, from a different mind.

And also... Thank you so much for sticking up for us. ... Now if only I could get rid of my depression, anxiety, and cripplingly low self-esteem.

[MadBoy]

Thanks for MHO.

[crdyb]

I agree, as someone who also has Autism, I would love it for people to stand up for us more and to understand me. Also, to anyone who doesn't understand this, people with Autism have a hard enough time already being singled out and I have a hard time trying to find someone willing to date me and put up with me since people with Autism generally have a harder time socially communicating and making friends, so if someone has Autism and wants to date you, if you get to know them, you will find that we are trying our hardest to be understood and to understand others, and helping someone with Autism understand relationships and how to talk to you and boundaries, trust me, it would mean the world to them. Also, be there for them whenever they need it because there are people in this world who think that just because someone is different than them means that they are inferior and Autistic kids get teased so much in middle school and beyond, so much so that when I get teased about being Autistic or someone uses Autism as an insult, I am unfortunately used to it by now, and immediately feel like I need to go somewhere quiet and secluded to cry.

[lilyanony1]

Thank you for this. I enjoyed reading it. I will admit as a woman I think in my experience it presents itself slightly different in men. Also there has been talks that I may be on the spectrum. Never diagnosed because of racial fear from my mum, you know black people are treated differently, schooling and opportunities can often be lost simply because they wanted to ship these children off to a special school unfairly.
Anyways I appreciate you. Best of luck to you. 😊👍🏾

[lilyanony1]

Thank you for mho xx

[Max1000AD]

I know a lot people’s are Autism. I enjoy their company taking them out to eat. Some say the nice thing to for being their friend. I worry about them because other people’s would make them cry or try to hurt themselves. I been know give them a hug a lot. People’s tell you are going to catch it. I work in the medical field that is not true. I have friends that have other disabilities. To me they are people to.

[OlderAndWiser]

It appears that you are reacting to an earlier post in which the question "would you date an autistic person?" was asked. I understand that there were many negative responses to that earlier post, including my response.

My comment to the earlier post was based on the fact that I was married to a woman for 17 years who was diagnosed as having MS two years after we were married. She began to play the role of an invalid, quit work, became a prescription pill addict, was in a psychiatric hospital a few times, took out entire savings and disappeared for 6 months, then returned home when she had squandered the last penny. I still did not leave her but I did get an injunction against her after she threatened me and, in response to the injunction, she filed for divorce. The dissolution became quite protracted and took four years to become final. 1987-2004 (age 32-49 for me) were the worst years of my life and I vowed to never put myself in that position again.

You have certainly presented a few interesting and tantalizing arguments for what you have to offer in a relationship, but what you offer may not be BECAUSE you are autistic. It could be that your strong points exist DESPITE the fact that you are autistic. In any event, if I was in the UK and anywhere near your age range, I would certainly be interested enough to have a first date and see where that could lead.

[MoonNieve]

Tbh I’m not mad at your response, what I was mad at, was a a few people grouping us all together and saying that we are crazy.

[KillianK]

I was also extremely disheartened by that post. I've spent years trying to advocate for equal treatment of autistic people, but I've only ever had minor victories and they were only on the school level (singular school, my school).

[Yaaten]

MS is nothing like autism. You do know that don't you?

[OlderAndWiser]

@Yaaten Did I ever say they were alike?

[Yaaten]

No, but you were associating the two. You wrote that,
"It appears that you are reacting to an earlier post in which the question "would you date an autistic person?" was asked. I understand that there were many negative responses to that earlier post, including my response.
My comment to the earlier post was based on the fact that I was married to a woman for 17 years who was diagnosed as having MS two years after we were married."
You reacted negatively to an earlier post about autism because you had been married to a woman with MS for 17 years. I fail to see the connection, the logic behind your tying the two together like this.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Yaaten Since you can't figure this ut by yourself, they are both disabilities. Please don't respond to tell me, "Yes, but they are different." I know that! My undergraduate major was psychology, I did research in biochemical genetics, and I graduated from law school with honors. I'm not stupid.

[Yaaten]

Okay, okay. Calm down. Why do so many "normal" people take disagreement personally? From our perspective, the majority who like to think of themselves as being what everyone should be, are "disabled" because they cannot (among other things) be straightforward and honest with us, do not take things at face value, and are so dysfunctional that they are always searching for underlying motives and subtexts when in all cases there are none to be found.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Yaaten Seems that you have expanded the definition of disability. Are you disabled?

[Yaaten]

Disability always requires context, and that was the point I was making in the previous comment about how most people (the "normal" ones) appear to us. The endless mind-games, the gossip, the obsession with inane and trivial nonsense, their misplaced desire to be popular and blend in, their inability to empathise with anyone who is not like them, and their double-standards, to list just the few that immediately come to mind.
Society, and the way that it treats those who are in any way truly different, is nothing short of despicable, and I would say that those who cannot relate to us on our level and on our own terms are the ones who are truly "disabled".

[OlderAndWiser]

@Yaaten Your last answer explains everything you have said on this subject.

[Yaaten]

Yes, and the answer is no, I am not disabled.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Yaaten You view yourself as an advocate for the disabled?

[Yaaten]

No, because I'm not disabled, but that's not to say I don't have, or did not have, problems to deal with. We all do.

[Rexos]

"It could be that your strong points exist DESPITE the fact that you are autistic" no, the points she made are specifically features that tend to come with autism.
Being direct, sometimes in a way that can unintentionally come off as offensive, being very emotional while having a hard time conveying those emotions, being hypersensitive to some things and having special interests are all very common features of autism.

[OlderAndWiser]

So no one is direct unless they have autism?

[Rexos]

That's not what I said

[Max1000AD]

A lot people’s do not have compassion also kindness for other people’s. All of peoples need to get up data on people who has disability. True that we need more who compassion in their heart ❤️

[crdyb]

what she meant was that extremelly sensitive touch and hearing are very easily detectable symptoms that some Autistic people have. Also, I do not really like how you associate disabilities as being one, just because someone you divorced had a disability does not mean that everyone with a disability is that drastic nor does that give you the right to say that it was about that they are both disabilities, as the question posed there was specifically about Autism, not disabilities in general. Please, please, think about what you say and the implications it could have, and the way people will interpret your response.

[OlderAndWiser]

@crdyb Thanks for the lecture but, this late at night, I have great difficulty with caring about the fact that someone disagrees with me.

[Apope16]

Thank you very much for your post. I think it educated people in a big way. I have worked in the mental health field and it is powerful to hear all of this. There is a show on netflix about a teen with autism going through relationships. I think my favorite part is the blunt part because most women can be shady about expressing their true feelings.

[MoonNieve]

Thank you so much, it really does mean a lot to me that people are grasping a new concept of what autistic people are like :) if you don’t me asking would you mind expanding me on what you did in your career with mental health? I feel that as someone with autism, I could benefit the mental health sector? Plus I really enjoy helping people. X

[waaromniet]

I tried watching that series, and while some of the things they show might be ok to raise awareness, it felt very cringy and like they used Autism to do another 'quirky is cute' series and I really couldn't stand watching it.

[Apope16]

Atypical is the series on Netflix.

[Silent_Bob]

I'm an Aspie myself. I don't have that dampening field that filters out what people standing next to me are saying from ambient noise or conversation from 20 feet away. I tend to do better when the person talking to me touches me when I talk, it's like a grounding wire. But since I'm self-conscious about the "personal space bubbles" of others, I tend to stay at arm's length when I'm talking to people.

I spent several years married to a woman who was probably neurotypical (NT), but may have had some undiagnosed depression issues on top of the social inexperience from being homeschooled. Early on, she expressed frustration at frequently having to spell out to me how she was feeling rather due to my inability to "read between the lines," but she eventually read a couple books by Ashley Standford (a NT therapist with an Aspie husband) and that gave her some insight. After that, she would give me time to have my "moment of clarity" when I finally found the right words, and came to appreciate me as a loyal, good listener... and yeah, certain other... nonverbal skills.

Now, combine being an Aspie with also being a widower, I'm a tough sell to women. Maybe not as tough as I think it is, but like like most Aspies, I'm a demiromantic: We don't fall in love with people at first sight; we only form a romantic attraction to someone after we develop an emotional or chemical bond with them. NT women in particular place too much stock in "that spark they have to feel instantly" and refuse to provide any opportunity to let anything grow and develop over time. It makes first dates a nightmare for us because we are placed in the impossible task of trying to sell ourselves in less than 30 seconds, and if we fail we find ourselves in the dating equivalent of a resume black hole. Everybody loses: the COMPATIBLE matches who are snubbed because the NT dater is too impatient to take the time to really get to know them, and the NT dater themselves, who keeps following the "spark" to one toxic match after another.

[waaromniet]

As an Autist I recognize a lot of the things you mention here. I got diagnosed very early on and got a lot of coaching, a big part of it on recognizing emotions in others and how to react to it. Now I very often find myself in situations where I, as the Autisitic person in the room, can most aptly deal with and process the emotions going to the group and end up being the reasonable one. More than a couple of my friends have expressed envy for not having had the coaching and therapy I had because I end up benefitting from it a lot more than just 'counteracting my Autism'.

On the touch part, it immediatly reminded me of the story my parents love telling of how they got kicked out of Ikea once because I insisted on touching and feeling every single part of every exhibition :D
I don't know about the orgasm thing, I often feel like I can't cum unless I do it myself but I also never really feel comfortable during sex. Im a guy, Autistic and not particularly attractive, so there's usually the pressure that comes with 'sleeping up on the social ladder' where I feel a lot of pressure to perform and my personal experience comes second (a lot of guys will recognize this, Autistic or not, but you can imagine how that magnifies the pressure. It's not like Autists are known to score easily ;))

I love that you found something in mental health to work with, and would love to talk with you about your path there someday. I often find myself drawn there too but can't find a way in.. The need/satisfaction of helping people in similar situations is something most of the Autists I know feel too at least.

[ZackBan]

I propose taking it further still.
See you might have autism but was never treated like one, you got to live life where people saw you for you and didn't constantly calibrate what they say to your condition and that helped you become the amazing person that you are now.

So my opinion is autism should only be cosideted a medical conditon once it reaches a level where a person can't self sustain anymore, that does not mean dismissing that you are on the spectrum as well but high functioning autistics are capable of blending into society even if with a few more difficulties but if every school teacher and clasmate look at that person like they're sick, and treat them differently than they treat eachotehr then that person will grow up with a messed up life experience and at a given point won't be ready to spread out into the world and will constantly need people to see him as autistic rather than just a person.

So I think you didn't have it easy but it made you into who you are and anyone, autistic or not would be lucky to turn out like you

[MrOracle]

I would not be opposed to dating someone with the level of autism that you have - while you find certain things challenging, you don't have a lot of hard limitations. Of course, every autistic person is going to be different.

The biggest problem is something you already pointed out: the initial meeting. It's a similar problem that shy people have: it's very difficult to meet someone if you aren't comfortable meeting people, or you have trouble interpreting their interest towards you. Shy people don't wear shirts that say "I'm shy, please be understanding and don't give up immediately" and autistic people don't wear shirts that say "I'm autistic, so please be more direct with me as I struggle with more typical social cues." As a guy whose role it is to approach women, we have to take the risks, and we have no idea if what seems like disinterest from the girl is actually disinterest, or if it's shyness, autism, or something else, and so it's hard for us too.

But once you know and understand a person's challenges, it's usually not that hard to accommodate them. It's just getting past that first hurdle that's difficult, because you often don't know it's even there.

[Smoothing]

I never saw the earlier post so I wouldn't have any idea what people said.

Personally, I have never thought about the topic because to me, I don't really see autism as an issue. Of course there are variations to the level of autism.

If there is one person in my life that I am really fond of in my family ( not saying that I love my other family members any less), is my younger autistic sister. I would say cosidering my interaction with you Nieve, she is more autistic than you are. When we were young, we were almost inseparable. She would follow me every where and we would eat out of the same plate. She would not eat her own food except for mine so my mum and her carerer stopped serving her food when ever I was around and instead they would serve enough for the both of us on the same plate.

She has her annoying side of course and she got on my nerves quite a few times. I learnt to understand her from a very young age. To the point that she can hardly annoy me any more.

Would I date some one with autism to the level of my sister? Perhaps not. But I would date an autistic person.

My point is, autism is normal to me and when ever I have an issue eating away at me, my sister has a way of calming me down just by her presence.

Her talent is not forgetting things though getting her to tell you something can be a struggle unless you know how to deal with her or know how to communicate with her like I do.

I think the obstacle for most people is relating to autistic people. It requires a different level of patience. Once you can relate to an autistic person, there is really no difference between them and a neuropathic person.

[AD240pCharlie]

As a high-functioning autist, I have to say that while ignorance about autism in general is obviously annoying, I can't really hold it against people for not understanding something they have no experience with. As a rule, people with autism experience things differently, process things differently, and express their thoughts and emotions differently, and that's just a fact you have to accept. I can't expect people to automatically understand me and the way I work since they don't operate the same way.
That being said, while I agree with the things you said, there are also difficulties that come with dating an autistic person. Obviously, not everyone with autism is the same, but overall, ther are going to be patterns. I understand that it's going to be annoying when we don't easily pick up on how you feel or what we should do in certain situations to help you or comfort you the way most other people can. Of course, we aren't INCAPABLE of empathy, but we DO require a lot more direct and concrete information in order to understand other people. If someone is crying, then we will be able to understand that they're feeling sad because we have been taught that a person crying is a sign that something is wrong and they're feeling bad at the moment, but unless you're clear with how you're feeling and show it directly without ambiguity, it will be harder for us.
So don't assume that dating an autistic person will be easy, because it's not... Even we ourselves realize that!

[Aguysopinion4799]

I just think anyone deserves a shot, regardless of what situation they are in, be it medical, psychological, financial, legal, whatever, I think everyone deserves a chance at love.

I myself am Autistic, I have Autism and ADHD, I would argue that we shouldn't say that all autistics have the same or even similar behaviour, just like with personality traits and with adding the wide spectrum on autism, I think that the best I will agree is that with autism, all around, regardless of the spectrum, you will be more sensitive to emotions, not saying you take them exactly the same as everyone else, Autistic people vary in ways that they process emotions.

I for one find it very difficult to get upset about things even at funerals, but I get upset if I see someone I care deeply for being upset.

My personality sticks in the area of Analytical and Excitable, I am approachable to all people and I analyse everything and everyone until I have figured it or them out, that is one of many things that excites me, so incidentally a sad event for someone else is actually a moment when I am analysing the situation instead.

So we vary, I also have OCD which often causes me to be more fixated on other things in situations that are meant to be a class or someone trying to tell me something because I am either already acting upon or incapable of focusing on anything but something that I find to be out of the place I want it even if it isn't my place.

[Oigit]

I think the idea of people on the Autism scale not feeling emotions comes from peoples interactions with people like myself. I do feel emotions. But my thought process very much leans into the other aspects of our thought processes. So things like critical thinking, pattern racemization, problem solving taking the lead and emotions tend to be near the end or even the last part of my overall through process. It can very much can make me seem not emotional.

Because often people not on the Autism and Asperger scale like myself, have a normal thought processes where emotions are higher up in their thought process. Over the years I have had many family and friends come to me for advice when they are crisis for help. Because they are having issues getting through the emotional process of the crisis itself. I'm able to completely jump into crisis mode and able to come up with a plan to fix the crisis they are in. So it can be benefit.

It can also be a downside as well. A good example of this was when my grandmother passed due to lung cancer. Everyone else that was there when she passed was having a emotional reaction and I didn't have much of one. Because it the cancer was terminal and she was very much suffering. So it was better that she passed and find peace instead of staying longer and suffering more. It did raise questions about how much I loved my grandmother and if I felt anything at all.

[Yaaten]

Yes, you are right about so much you say here (especially the belief that apparently those who have autism/Asperger's Syndrome "lack empathy and/or emotions". I don't know where they got that idea from).
However, I do not believe that it isn't something that should be treated or prevented if ever there comes a time when such becomes possible, and that is because it is more than just a difference, more than just a different way of seeing the world. There are very real, and unfortunate, consequences to having a condition like this, and they include but are not limited to:
1. An inability - especially in early childhood - to control one's emotional states.
2. Overreacting to sensory stimuli, due to the hypersensitivity issue.
3. Not understanding most forms of communication (ex. non-literal language, body language, hints, flirting).
I have to admit I really despise the whole "neurodiversity" movement, because those who push this agenda presume to speak for everyone who is on the proverbial spectrum, but they just don't. They seem to believe that those with autism somehow represent some kind of "next stage in human evolution", which is just absolute rubbish.
By the way, I have Asperger's Syndrome but I REALLY wish I did not. Because of it I can barely tolerate most people (about 98% of them), and because of this I had (among other things) a natural tendency to correct others at work (ex. the boss, my immediate supervisor), and point out how stupid they were for doing things a certain way without actually saying so. As you can imagine I am, and have been, unemployed since 2011! :0
Shhhhhhhhhhocking, I know.
I don't want to be on welfare, don't want to alienate people, and certainly do want a career and all the other things that normal (statistically speaking) people just take for granted.

[caring__1]

Autism is a spectrum, so no two people with autism are exactly alike, just like no two of anything are exactly alike. People only have one fear, and that is the fear of the unknown. By eliminating the unknown, we eliminate the fear. Keep communication clear and open, and anyone is capable of having quality relationships. For instance, you may like some touch but not all touch, whereas others may be too sensitive to allow any touch. As long as both people understand and can be comfortable with the challenges, believing what exists is what is valued, the relationship can thrive; yet this is no different than any two people connecting with each other. We all have challenges; they're just different for different people.

People with autism are not crazy or out of control. If anything, they tend to experience things more extremely than others. This means they can focus deeper (allowing for greater accomplishments) and even love deeper, though not all people with autism have interest in connecting with others. As I stated, no two people with autism will be the same, but an example of what someone with autism faces and can accomplish is well presented in the real life of of Temple Grandin. Temple Grandin (TV Movie 2010) - IMDb https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi_ypfUzdXuAhWR9Z4KHZnOCE8QFjAMegQIBxAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Ftitle%2Ftt1278469%2F&usg=AOvVaw1DePLnSxrEvKA_NfkQeNOw

[SamB343]

I'm kind of torn, I've known a few autistic people (partner's ex, their daughter. my brother) I have nothing major against them but some things I would like to mention.

I dont think there's a clean cut definitive selection of traits an autistic person has, on the note of loyalty my partner's ex (who I was friends with previously) wasn't loyal. Got caught on multiple occasions sending messages to different other girls whilst in the relationship, and in the week after breaking up tried (and failed) to forcefully hook up with 3 different girls from our friend group. I think in this case the desire for attention superseded his interest in being loyal.

In the majority of cases I dont have an issue, the only thing that I do notice which sometimes gets on my nerves is the repetitiveness. When I used to be friends with my partner's ex he would repeat and over explain jokes until we laughed enough. He'd say the same story multiple times in a day. In my brother's case he repeatedly quotes the same obscure references to youtube videos that make no sense to anyone who hasn't seen the exact video he is on about. And in the daughter's case she'll want to repeat the same activity over and over and over and throw a tantrum if you stop at any point.

Dont get me wrong they're definitely things that can be overlooked if that person means that much to you, but in my partner's ex's case it was very much a case of additional strain on an already struggling household dynamic.

[moviedude714]

"Due to gender roles in heterosexual relationships, in our society, life, the world, culture, reality, nature, whatever you want to call it, men are usually expected to take the lead and initiate romantic/sexual relationships. This requires a certain amount of confidence and social skills, social dynamics and social intelligence, conversation ability and human interaction ability, certain social behaviors, which can be very difficult to develop for those who've faced a lot of social isolation and rejection for many years, or have a condition that affects their ability to socialize, such as autism, etc. People who fail to develop these traits due to lack of positive experiences, are much less able to compete with their peers for romantic/sexual relationships. As said before, men being generally expected to initiate and escalate, to make the first move or several moves, the lack of these traits affects their ability to find and attract a romantic/sexual partner, or to get into a relationship, to a much larger degree than it does for women." i thought that was a very powerful and valid post, perfectly worded.

[Not_Average]

Nice read. I work in engineering and autism is pretty common in my field. The autistic engineers that I know really do have brilliant minds and offer great perspective in ways that I couldn’t.

This kind of hits home for me, because during undergrad I befriended someone who was autistic. We starting talking a bit, and I could tell he was different socially. I broke through the awkwardness by showing him that I didn’t care. He was ridiculously smart when it came to physics and he was also a very talented musician. He played a series of different instruments.

Anyways, we kept talking and talking and he one day almost cried saying he’s never really been able to make a friend and he was so happy he had someone to hang out with and talk to. He’s one of those people who just needs to be warmed up, and then you find they have a ton of personality. He’s a friend that I could have a really in depth conversation with. No small talk.

It made me really happy. We still talk today at least once a week. He’s more successful in the engineering field than I am today. The social impairment really eats away at a lot of people who are autistic as they struggle to build relationships past surface level.

I fully understand that autism is a large spectrum and you might be very different. It’s ignorant to put everyone who’s autistic under one umbrella. I think we as human beings need to recognize that differences make us unique rather than superior or inferior. We can all learn so much from simply talking to others who live differently.

[Torari]

You should date someone with ASD, if you are also ASD. Particular someone within the same functional range as you.

I am a high functioning autist (Aspergers specifically), and all of my happiest, most functional relationships, where with girls who where also high functioning autist. Its such an incredible experience to be with someone who has a similar "cold, logical hyper focused detail oriented" thought style which is typical to autism that you do.

Its so much easier to understand why she does and acts the way she does, and it feels like you are also far better understood in these relationships. It also seems far easier to communicate. With neurotypical girls you almost have to take a round about way of saying anything, otherwise it turns her off. With autistic girls, you can be direct without it turning the relationship into a platonic hell hole.

Ironically, the fact that your interactions are more logically driven, and more "cold" at least for me personally, helped to cultivate a far deeper emotional, and sexual bond. Which is something I've never been able to experience with a neurotypical girl. The Netflix, the chill, and what follows, is all better with autistic women for me.

If I ever decide to marry against my better judgment, I hope my wife is as autistic as I am. It's a real shame that autism is 4x more common in men than women (Aspergers is 9x more common in men). Because it means there are fewer autistic girls to go around.

[Torari]

Also, there seems to be a stereotype that autist in general are physically unattractive. But in my experience, that couldn't be further from the truth.

I personally, am extremely attractive objectively, I'm 6', have abs (and not because I'm skinny, it's all muscle), thick dark hair which I style well, and a good jaw line. I am frequently approached by women at bars, and even occasionally at the gym. Which as i understand it, is extremely rare for most men.

The women I've dated who where autistic where all also very attractive. They took good care of themselves because it just makes logical sense to do so, and the side effect of taking good physical care of yourself is great skin, hair, and an incredible body.

[Stoner710]

Isn’t that aspergers? I’ve had many friends with aspergers (even had to keep one from getting in a fight with a guy in Japan for calling him a gijin which just means foreigner it’s a little derogatory but it’s not a big deal).

I've also taught people with heavy autism and Down syndrome now they were in elementary school and I’m more of a history teacher then math teacher but I don’t them to learn (it was by adding and subtracting nemos and Doris since he love finding Nemo).

I know Termanology has changed but I do know there is a difference between Aspergers and autism

[MoonNieve]

In the UK - Asperger has gone, you are now on the spectrum but at different levels - 1,2 and 3. I am level 1. So I am high functioning autism. However, although I appear normal, there is a lot of hard work that goes into me having to appear normal, unless I’m around someone I’m completely relaxed, I wil most definitely wear a mask if you do not know me, that’s not because ‘real’ me is bad, it’s because being autistic is so vulnerable, with people assuming negative about you, that appearing ‘normal’ is the only way other people accept you. X

[Stoner710]

Make since I think it’s changed in the U. S as well I’m still use to the old terms.

Yea I’ve always felt normal was never that great, I have PTSD dyslexia and ADHD so it’s pretty weird myself, I’m also pretty extreme in the views and don’t change easily. Which is why I’m right wing libertarian (there not really a libertarian party in Europe). We basicly like as small a government as possible, I would never go back to the article of confederation which majorly limited the government they couldn’t pass any law with out 100% agreement (not talking confederacy in the 1860s we’re talking right the one that was set up in 1777 before the constitution was ever written).

Either way I would encourage you just to be you and fuck what other people think, it my be harder to live that way but it’s better then putting a mask on to who you really are as a person. Dont hind your self form the world embraced yourself as you are, And you will be happier

[19magic]

After my experience with my brother I just couldn't handle that again. I've been bitten, hit, ran into, I've always been fairly strong but holding down a 10 year old who's having a temper tantrum and wanted to wack his head against the floor or run smack head first into walls. I just can't do that again. He's constantly swearing, yes there's times he can be a real sweetheart like any kid but most the time he's either keeping to himself and you say the wrong thing to him and you have an absolute nightmare on your hands. Plus it's not just that with someone who's already diagnosed with autism there's a good chance that they have the missing gene and if so that means their condition is heditary and could be better or worse in their children.

[DJB72]

One of my oldest friends has Aspergers, only diagnosed in adulthood.

We never dated but I'd have been open to it at the time. I found her charming, she was stunning as a teenager - I've not actually seen her in almost 30 years but we've stayed in touch on social media.

I'm not saying all people on the autism spectrum are in a place to date, but it's nonsense to say none are

[Hans222]

I think the general truth about autism is: if you can live with someones "user manual" and feel good about it, you can be the perfect couple 💕.
Many girls and guys with autism are in a nice relationship so I'm convinced that in many cases it works out perfectly 👍😊