Ladies the Answer to the Question is Here at Last! Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

[Apope16]

Ladies, you are absolutely beautiful. You are more accomplished than ever before in history. You want something more than just sex. Something profound and meaningful right?

It seems the only thing missing in your life is that one guy who has the same ambition and drive as you. That one guy who will be there through thick and thin. A man that is your rock.

But where have all the decent, quality men gone?

The answer is very simple...

.....................

The good men have not gone anywhere. They are your male best friends that you have put in the friendzone a long time ago.

Just sayin.

[Ellie-V]

Uh, I will say that I hate when other ladies complain about not having good men around because I know plenty of guys who are great. Some of them are my friends, some just acquaintances.
I think those women should re-evaluate their social circles and behaviors and ask themselves why they continue to find garbage. It could be them or it could be their environment 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some people need to change themselves or their scenery. Maybe both. But I wouldn’t advocate for them to start trying to date their good male friends and I wouldn’t advocate for them to get something romantic out what they already see as a friendly/cordial relationship.

[SexualChocolate85]

Every time a woman ask me this, I ask her, "have you checked the friendzone lately".

[DonCachondo]

dying to know what they say in response LOL

[hsshannah96]

I have two people in my friend zone and they’re a nearly engaged couple

[Cynicaldreamer]

But what about guys that put US in the friendzone? Guys do it to women as well; let's talk about that.

[Bman4907]

okay, go for it

[Knuxx]

Post a my take I'll respond to it

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Knuxx I've never written a mytake before! Though lord knows I should on this topic!

I know you guys might not believe me, but yeah, women get friendzoned hard too!

... living proof right here.

I have been friendzoned, sisterzoned, even gayzoned (the latter just made me shake my head). It's just not as common for people to discuss women being friendzoned compared to men

[Knuxx]

I have friendzoned and sister zoned plenty of women I'd love to share the reasons. As my life is now I have reason to regret some but it's better move on since I have more important concerns atm.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Knuxx Well it happens. I have no malice towards guys whom do so; let's be real, sometimes there's just no connection there, the timing is wrong, or some other reason. I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that.

It just sucks when you like someone only to realize they just see you as a friend and have no romantic interest in you. So now you're forced to try and reevaluate the friendship and/or move on with your life to get over said person.

[Nyeah]

The only women I friendzoned were obese.

[Djaay]

Cynicaldreamer... Ok let's talk. After we dissect every begotten reason for a womans choice of , infidelity, golddigging , cheating , lies , toxic femininity and etc. etc. Then the real question comes to surface " Where have all the good women gone "

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Nyeah Oh I used to be overweight; I can admit that (I've lost weight now and I am a healthy size). But I'm sure that was a reason in the past for sure!
What gets me is that other women that were/are twice my size still get dates! So it might just be me and my luck with guys, haha.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Djaay Okay sir, you have my attention and I'm listening-

Yeah I know, there are some bad women that give the rest of us a bad name out there; I'm not going to disagree with you on that. Hell, I see some of said women on a daily basis and wonder how the hell they are married or why their partners stay with them!

BUT! There are still good women out there; I assure you. Most of us are just bitter, heartbroken, tired of being taken advantage of, or we're no longer looking for a relationship for whatever reason. Or perhaps we're right in front of you but you [your gender, not you specifically] don't see us in a romantic way.

I still believe there are genuinely good women out there, just like the same can be said for men. The problem is finding them. They're overlooked for whatever reason, yet the "bad ones" have all the luck when it comes to finding relationships.

Apologies for the long reply but I wanted to be as thorough as possible. I'm sure I could say much more but GaG has a character limit on replies!

[Djaay]

First and foremost , I already believe your not a bad woman. I agree with you mostly and I understand your factual points as well. I can clearly contest to what you've mentioned through my own judgements and experiences. I've NEVER been sigle in my adult life and there's a good reason for this. I'm not gods gift to women for any special reason other than my perception of they're existence and they're value they are as well as men are. The bare relentless true to these type of questions are straight in front of us. My certain sustainability to see the good in someone has proven its self over and over as well. Even when theyre not able to see it for themselves. Like yourself , I've got a lot to say... so I'll cont' after your response to all this...😉

[ss7767]

I can count on one hand the number of men I have ever known that have done that. Most men don't stand on the fence we want a friend or we want a friend that we are very close with. Men who friend zone 1 are chicken shits because they have someone else they are into but lack the balls to say so because they don't want to lose the back up girl. 2 they are scum you can't have one woman and have the other as a stand by. And if any guy says that's not true your f'ing lying cause you don't want to look like a sexist asshole. Truth and own it we are all assholes be who you are. It's kinder to a person to let them know where they stand rather then putting them on the sidelines to save your own feels. Grow up pick a path right or wrong but be clear with the other person and don't give hope for gain when there isn't any

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Djaay I really don't have much to say to your reply other than... interesting. It's good to read some logical input in this discussion: some of the comments I've read on this questions have been a bit toxic or discouraging, from the men and women.

"I'm not gods gift to women for any special reason other than my perception of they're existence and they're value they are as well as men are." Bingo. That sir is why you are happily married and unlike some people on here, not bitter towards the opposite gender: you see the good in women and treat them accordingly. We feed off that positive energy and treat you accordingly.

It's that simple. I just wish others shared that sentiment or were mature enough to realize that.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@ss7767 Really? Wow, I must REALLY be unlucky then! The stories I could tell you about guys wanting to just be friends with me...
I kid you not, I can count on both hands how many times I've been friendzoned! Even times when I approached the guy and told him I liked him, or wanted to go out with him: nope.

What confused me are the guys that admitted to having feelings for me, but when I showed interest in them or said I would date them? They wanted to remain friends : That crap screws with a person's emotions and self esteem!!!

As I've said before, I get it: it happens. Some guys just do not see women as more than a friend or in a romantic way. It sucks, but it's their choice. This is one of those topics we can discuss for hours and days on end, haha.

[Soul_Mountain]

@ss7767 There's no such thing as a backup girl, 99% of men can barely handle 1 relationship. So what you are saying blatantly false.

[Bluemax]

I believe you completely. I've known women who were in the friendzone. I've had one in my friendzone.
Now insert some obligatory remark about how the friendzone doesn't exist or is sexist.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Bluemax Thank you sir! I'm glad to hear there are men that admit to putting women in the friendzone.
Any rational person knows it exists; but some people, particular men on here, refuse to believe such a concept exists, haha. They have just never had to do so to a woman (yet).

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think the good guys are at home pursuing their own hobbies, at their friends houses chilling, and overall, don't dedicate huge portions of their life trying to find a girl. The good guys know that having a girlfriend won't fix their problems at work, or that she won't wait on him hand and foot. The "good guys" are the ones that know a relationship requires collaboration, and they don't want to waste their time just "going through the motions" to attract any willing female.

The guys most ready for a girlfriend are usually the ones who have a "life" to bring her into. They are the guys who have friends who like to hang out and do more than talk about failed hookup attempts. They help each other grow and support each other through bad times. I don't like the "the good guy is always your friend" phrase, because if a "friend" is harboring resentment about not being able to have sex with you, then that's not really a healthy friendship. Yes, often a good friend can fall in love with you, and want to support you and help you grow, but the simplified mindset of just "why not bang your deserving friend" to be unhelpful.

[Red_Dragon]

I disagree. Yet again I hope all this isn't indicative to your actual viewpoints. There's a difference between being a "good" man and a real one. Your mom thinks you're a "good" man. It's about mental point of origin. I know you know this. My best female friend (all the other girls in my life are fuck buddies) has wanted to fuck me. No real guy would purposely stay in the friend zone. The zone means you're being reframed from something by her. This is considered unmasculine. Unattractive to women. Hence why the man is there in the first place. It's a wheel. A snake eating itself. One begots the other. If I wasn't so lazy I'd write my own detailed take on this lol.

[Apope16]

Good point my brotha. I am a ladies man. Almost all my friends are women. But those women I have zero romantic expectation with. All the some were fwbs that i had sex with. But i didn't want to date. hopefully guys have read your comments here. Very important and true

[PunkCookie]

I know plenty of good men. They didn't go anywhere. Actually, I think we've advanced somewhat as a society and become more compassionate overall as we can easily communicate with people around the world with different backgrounds and viewpoints. So because so many people have the opportunity to learn, the people who live nearby are more likely to be compassionate and respectful.

But I think a lot of people have different definitions of good. For me, a good man isn't always a man I would be in a relationship with, but he will be perfect for someone else. A man I would be in a relationship with would be good, but he would also be eligible. He would need to be in my age range, not gay, not be in a relationship already, etc. (The obvious things.) He would also need to share enough common interests and core values with me that I feel understood and have a connection with him.

I know you mean good as in someone to be dating. Don't lose faith in humanity just because you can't find someone to be in a relationship with. Your dating pool is just a subset of the population. Once you consider all the reasons you wouldn't want to date someone, you'll realize that there are plenty of good men, but only a select few in your pool of potential partners. But also keep in mind that there are lots of people out there who you haven't met yet, and there is possibly someone feeling just as frustrated as you and looking for someone just like you.

I'm certainly not opposed to dating people I'm friends with. And there are people who I've been friends with, I asked them out, was politely turned down by them, and am still friends with them. It's just part of life.

I also have been asked out by a person I was friends with. I said yes, and we've been together for a while. Almost a year later, we're still friends but, like, ultimate besties with added sexual tension.

[Soul_Mountain]

Yes, keep holding out for your knight in shining armor. One day, some man will come along that meets every criteria on your long laundry list of conditions.

Have you ever thought of what you could do for a man? No? I didn't think so.

[pajamasam]

If a girl friend zones you, you need to move on and search elsewhere, don't chase women who aren't interested and waste your time if a girl frienzones you just be friends and continue your search elsewhere

[Apope16]

Yes. fellas take note. very true.

[Tstrbrainer]

But what if every woman friendzones you?

[pajamasam]

Talk with all those newly made female friends and ask for advice on dating, they are girls after all, they know what girls like better than anyone.

[Tstrbrainer]

I've got enough advice by now, I'm too shy to act on those

[pajamasam]

Girls don't offer to "just be friends" and then turn away their friendship. Im telling you I got friendzoned before and decided to stay friends and she turned out to have AMAZING advice for dating. Its worth a shot.

[Tstrbrainer]

Sounds cool

[Apope16]

@Tstrbrainer agreed. 99% of my friends are women. When you show up on the club with just you and 6 lady friends... girls take notice

[Tstrbrainer]

Is that helpful with other girls? I mean when we see a woman surrounded by guys, do we feel like we stand a chance with her. ?

[crazy8000]

@Tstrbrainer
Many female's want's what other's get attracted to, especially when the feel they have competition.
Have acknowledge that very close up. got a lot of more interest because of that even on dates there other girl's give very bad eye to my date. even at the gym between coworkers at the gym when I talk to one of them.

[kencu67]

I think if a guy gets friendzoned and does nothing about it is only natural and he is not necessarily that "good man" the asker talks about. A girl wants to see if you can take initiative. If you're a coward and stay in friendzone instead of getting out of it either way, how could the girl possible assume that you will take care of her in a relationship? It doesn't mean that you wouldn't take care of her but girls don't like to take that chance. No matter what kind of brainwashing and propaganda is out there these days, males and females think differently based on evolutionary biology. Our brains didn't yet catch up with all the luxury, comfort and technology we enjoy today. You can be the greatest guy ever but if you don't step out of your comfort zone, chances are that girls won't take you seriously.

[PunkCookie]

I don't know if this is universally true. If I tell a guy I only want to be friends with him and he intentionally crosses that boundary for any reason, he'll be out of the friend zone but not in the way he's hoping for. If I tell a guy I don't want that type of relationship, I think it's ok for him to be upset and even ask why I didn't choose him. But I don't want anyone (regardless of gender) to try to cross a clear boundary for anything.

[Headshot6917]

i feel there are many guys asking where the right woman is. and the answer is usually with an asshole while clinging onto the shallow idea that the actual good man is too nice or too awkward or even too goofy for them but if you can't accept someone for who they are you don't deserve them.

[Anonymous]

here is the reality of what women mean when they say
where have all the good men gone

WHERE HAVE ALL THE REALLY HOT GUYS GONE?

only 10% to 20% of men are considered good enough for them
the rest are considered not good enough
and if you think im joking watch this video

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7vqRbScCIPU

[Apope16]

Damn. THanks for your post. It was a really good video. His reasoning is flawed. It is about biology but it is more about men being hunters in the human species and dominance and value being associated with protection and resource gain among men. Women psychological will therefore "marry up" or marry a man because of his status or resource potential. She doesn't marry a man that she feels is lower in status to her. She views the man who is more wealthy or has status or social proof as higher status than her even though the guy has a double chin and weighs three hundred pounds. Its about maximizing resources for her fertile womb and eventual children.

A woman in her 20s is in her wild years of sex where she cycles through a number of boyfriends and gets to experience a variety of dick.

We as men are just a cog in a while. Just another bedpost mechanic a few nights per month tickling her fancy because she is bored or lonely.

ANd lastly, and this is important... A woman doesn't view herself as higher value because of what the video says. She views herself as higher value because of all the attention women get in society. They get matches with hundreds of guys which elevates an average ugly girl to narcissistic levels of male selection analysis. She is more restrictive because of abundance of options. Not because she was once divorced.

[Djaay]

No it's not, video or not. That's your reality mainly. Biology doesn't dictate attraction as it may seem. Chemistry is way more powerful in terms of selection of a mate rather than a hook up. there's a wide difference between hook up culture and biology and mate selecting through chemistry. Attraction is genrally on good moral ethics, while biologically seeking a person for image of your own immorality doesn't ever play out so well. Now with this paradigm on mention , " Where have all the good women gone " is a valid question that men will attest to.

[Opinion Owner]

@Djaay

no

1) LOOKS
2) MONEY
3) STATUS

these are the 3 things women want if you don't have at least one
WOMEN WILL NOT WANT YOU
and don't try to debate me on this

IT IS A PROVEN FACT
whatever women you have
is dating you for one of these 3 reasons

OHH AND THERE ARE BARELY ANY GOOD WOMEN
study shows
there possibly only 20% of women are good
and if you think what im saying is a joke
watch this video of women trying to have sex with a rapist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=200MxJVyk3I

[Djaay]

Opinion owner... Your right... outside of GODS house. Although , there are some great strong women of wisdom inside the spirit of GOD. there's a good reason I've never been single in my entire adult life and it has nothing to do with a 12 in cock or more than a million or the greatest looks ever.

[brennanhuff]

I don't believe it's about looks , even for tinder. I've had a woman basically grope my biceps when talking to me when working in produce before. I've had college aged cute girls check me out, one talked to me at a beer line for sports game and I got her number. I had discounts before and a free large dunkin donuts cappucino from a girl that worked at dunkin donuts who was really cute. I've had women hold their gaze or be googly eyed when looking at me before. I'm not zoolander, but the implication from this and others around me, is that I'm a pretty handsome guy. But despite pictures and making a good profile, I've haven't had success on dating apps. I've had likes and matches sporadically and some convo go well, but often fizzle out or where the girl doesn't want to meet up for coffee or whatever. If I'm good looking in person, I doubt I'm magically unattractive in photos. I think it's proximity and being in a big city and so much more than looks for dating app success just because of the sheer volume of guys women have to pick from. I think it's where a guy has to have a profile that's super interesting to stand out and not just the best looking guy in the app or just being good looking or else many good looking guys would do well, when it's a mixed bag. Sure good looks jhelp, but there's much more to it.

[Soul_Mountain]

@Djaay Christian women are much worse than your average ho. So you're a millionaire, congrats, you're a Chad and that's why you have women throwing themselves at you.

[Soul_Mountain]

@brennanhuff It's no longer about being interesting to women. Guys do not exists to entertain and attract women, we have more important things to do.

It's up to women now if they want to catch my interest - it's their job to entertain me. Otherwise, I have no time for them, I have too much to do, too much life to enjoy. Women are irrelevant to my life.

[Djaay]

Soul _Mountain... No , hoes who say they are christian are not Christian's. Besides you totally missed my point.

[mattl338]

You're an idiot, this is all superficial nonsense. I don't see "Personality" on that list, therefore guess what? That means that in you're head, if a guy has money it doesn't matter if he's an abusive asshole, he'll get a girl. No. You are full of 'this is proven fact' when it's not proven at all, studies have shown the vast majority of women want a good guy and don't give a shit how much he makes, his status, or what he looks like necessarily. Get out into the real world and take a look around. This is not the 1800s anymore.

[mattl338]

You're also naive enough to think that conservative propaganda YouTube videos are proven fact, which is exactly my point. Spoiler: They're not facts. They're all opinions and they're all conservative propaganda trying to spread this idea that we are somehow back in the old days where all women only want a guy for his status, money, or looks. Not all women want this and if you opened your eyes and stop being so small-minded you'd understand this. I don't know why "Everybody's different" is so hard to understand, but no you think 'Oh every woman wants XYZ it's been proven no questions asked' because if that's so hard to understand then that just proves how thickheaded you are. Anyone who makes statements that generalize I am just going to preemptively shut you down, I'm not gonna deal with it because it's ridiculous.

[mattl338]

By the way in the first post when I said "That means that in you're head" I meant 'your' and not 'you're' but autocorrect is a bitch.

[Rebeccalions]

You can't force attraction. I friend zone guys who I like, but have no attraction to. On the other hand, I don't friend zone douchebags, I block them. So maybe that's why you see so many assholes with no female friends. They are blocked.

[Apope16]

True. But often times it is because of how the guys act. They haven't learned behavior that attracts women. If they acted differently instead of wussy then a friend might attract you.

[Rebeccalions]

Thats true too. I still look for cavemen lol

[Apope16]

you like cavemen? okay... I wanna hear you explain that one.

[Soul_Mountain]

Not exactly. You don't friendzone douchebags, you have sex with them. Then maybe you block them, until you're horny again... and the cycle repeats. You know this is true.

[Rebeccalions]

@Soul_Mountain I don't have sex with douchebags. I make them run errands for me, move my furniture, take me out to eat, and then I ditch them before they even have a chance to sleep with me. Then they whine like a bunch of bitches. Don't tell me about my life when you know nothing

[Rebeccalions]

I like masculine men, the ones who have integrity and speak their mind and who know how to barbecue and protect me and all that manly shit lol I don't care about money or superficial shit.

[Soul_Mountain]

That's why I love life: I don't ever have to deal with females. Such trash..

[Rebeccalions]

@Soul_Mountain you're calling me trash for putting fuckboys in their place? Nope I'm doing everyone a favor. Because now the fuckboys know they can't get away with taking advantage of a woman
Maybe you're one of them and that's why you're so offended

[DellBell]

I think some are taken and we tend to put some of them in the friend zone oops 😬🙈

[DellBell]

We like a man that is good but also a bit of a bad boy sometimes...

[Apope16]

So which fictional person or celeb represents that best?

[DellBell]

Channing Tatum

www.wprost.pl/.../...gramie-odwaznym-zdjeciem.html

ansel elgort

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/AnselElgort

[Apope16]

Thats helpful. Thanks.

[Filipe97]

I'll tell you a short story about me. My son's mother asked me for help. She wanted to leave the guy she was with because he beat her, raped her, controlled her and even threatened to kill her with a knife. I let her move in with me. A month later we started dating again. I thought this was out chance to finally be a family. I tried to make a difference. I gave her freedom, trusted her, treated her well, gave her a home, a family... she cheated on me with him. I kicked her out of my house and she got back together with him. A few weeks later and they're engaged. Lmao, when he actually stabs her and she comes crying for help again I will just laugh and tell her to fuck off 😂😂😂

[saltydaxmok_tANKer]

On the internet : yes, good men are in the age of extinction.
In real life : not really, they are there, not much but there are (its better than the Internet creeps at least).

[Shamalien]

as a bitter internet creep I must say I am quite offended

[crazy8000]

It's pretty much the same the other way around 😉

[Apope16]

Haha. THose so called guys in real life are ALSO the same guys on the internet. Women are just more judgmental on a dating app because the guy isn't a doctor or 6ft 2 inches tall or looks better in real life than in some photo.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

@Shamalien Agreed sir. I must say I am quite full of deep dark sorrow, as if on a large train in a never ending tunnel. Giggity.

[Anonymous]

You forgot an important part of being a good man. The guys in the friendzone are harmless, therefore they're not good men because they aren't men at all. They're puppydogs who allow themselves to get strung along.

A good man is a man first, and a man is capable of both great creativity and great destruction. A good man doesn't allow himself to be shelved, he moves on if he doesn't get what he wants and needs.

So the real answer to the the question is "they all found someone better or decided relationships weren't worth the trouble".

[Unit1]

We are hiding in plain sight ;)

https://www.youtube.com/embed/oi2wKQnfp1c

[Apope16]

Hilarious! dude is a funny looking guy too. haha

[Unit1]

The funny thing is he NEEDS grass to hide from the girls.
Meanwhile most of us probably don't even need any grass and it works too good :D :D :D

[Glasses]

So true, you don't realize that he's a good until you leave him or friend zone him and go get the bad guy and then your like damn I fucked up and made the wrong decision.

[ss7767]

You find us date us then throw us into the friend zone cause "your not ready for this" and we're really nice guys. Grow some balls ladies if your not into it say so. Or here's a novel thought talk to the dude and tell him what your thinking and feeling. Oh wait that's logical and smart. Y'all are causing your own problems you want a nice guy but you date the Jack off why cause he was rude to your waiter talked shit about your parents. Why the good dude you just friend zoned after 2 months and him treating your family your kid and you better then Mr bad boy. Women y'all need to look at what you've done you can't conceptulize that a man can be both kind and nice to you but still be a lack of a better word asshole when needed. Kindness at home is not the same as real world interactions men are slightly more complicated then you think we are

[Felicityoyo]

I married my best friend of 10 years. I didn't date him at first because we were in high school and I wanted whatever we had to last. So we didn't get together until a year or two after graduation

[MzAsh]

He’s in my bed because he’s my husband.

[Apope16]

Awwww! Congratulations! <3

[Anonymous]

The women who ask that question are usually the same women who proclaim that they won't cook for a man and don't enjoy giving blowjobs.

The answer to that question is that the good men just finished eating the dinner their girl made for them about an hour ago, and now they're having their dicks sucked.

[jestergent]

Where have all the good men gone?
They went to work.