Anyone else find smartphones make true dating near impossible?

[Anonymous]

Not dating apps, competition, etc., but smartphones themselves...

I don't want to date a modern woman because, many men, but more so women in my experience/observation, rarely have a moment alone; smartphone goes everywhere.

I'm rarely with a only woman, but physical person, amongst a group of dozens of her friends/acquaintances, social media. Even smartphone down, always close-at-hand/in mind, few I meet eagerly say "let's leave our devices in the car/home & spend time focused on each other/what's around..

Being 19 when the iPhone came out, the difference is likely far more clear to my generation than the next, but, in contrast, this has made it far more difficult to date, since you now rarely date only a woman, but spend every moment with dozens of her closest friends/entire social media circle.

Anyone relate? I notice many are both so consumed by tech it seems to be accepted as the normal relationship now.

[ryancg]

I understand the issue you're having, but if she's spending a bunch of time on her phone when she's with you, then she's just not that interested in you. I've experienced it before myself so I know the feeling. However, I've also found that when the girl is genuinely interested, you'll hardly see her phone at all.

And to the other thing about turning the phone off or leaving it in the car or house, that's not really an option for some people. For me, I need my phone on me at all times, I could get important calls at anytime, be it for work or other stuff.

[myTake Owner]

I'm finding people a generation ahead of me accept this as normal, and I need to explain the idea: "I don't want to be competing for attention, our entire relationship, against everyone you know, and constant attention on social media".

I'm fine w/ someone wanting to use SM, but when it there's literally never a oment away, there isn't a relationship, only competition. is the issue I keep facing.

[mattl338]

Dating apps are pure garbage and your chances of finding true love are slim to none. They're only for people who are willing to put up with the algorithm, people who want casual sex, or people who want entertainment. Tinder is the worst of them all, it's garbage, and when you try it for a week or two you really realize how awful it is and how it's a waste of time.

Watch this video and you'll understand what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/E4zMSUEQrTQ

[lanjinan]

I think online dating can also become a reality. People you know online are often the most sincere. After a long time, you will know everything about him, so you are willing to meet him

[myTake Owner]

First line of subtext: "Not dating apps, competition, etc., but smartphones themselves..."... the other thing that bothers me is totally destroyed ability to focus/attention spans (can't even read 3 short paragraphs to know what's being asked before answering). Thanks for what little effort you put in.

[headset]

People you know online are often the most sincere.

Someone is yet to know the truth of internet. I met worse kind of people i would never even imagine they exist. There are people online who would make you to kill yourself. It is how toxic internet is in general.

[myTake Owner]

First line: "Not dating apps, competition, etc., but smartphones themselves..."... attention spans destroyed to the point minimal attention, out of laziness, won't even be given to what's being responded to before responding... question was not about effects of smartphones' content on people but smartphones themselves.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Smartphones are fun 😊. My girlfriends and I are the same way.

[myTake Owner]

Question was about dating & relationships, nowhere was it asked if smartphones are fun, or you act this way, both of which were already stated in the question. You're 29 & show little ability to think, reflect, critically think, or focus long enough to actually read 3 paragraphs and answer, further evidence, as with the other girl poster, of the issue I'm having. Thanks for your input/evidence..

[Gwenhwyfar]

What?

[myTake Owner]

Exactly.

[Guy13]

Yes and OMG exactly. The good news is I have met people that follow my lead. I take out my phone, turn it off, and put it on the table. I have had girl take the phone, as we left, and put it in my pocket while on the street. It is a huge turn-on and I never expected it to be.

[Mollynotgemma]

I have never been on a dating site... every relationship has happened because of a chance meeting! Such a sad world that you would ‘match’ with someone because you swipe left or right! Can no one approach a real person anymore?

[Paul09]

Yes, and yes. People also seem to have more choice online. So they do not give chances to anyone. They're like, I can find something better. Or it's just a bunch of ghost profiles. Leans more to womens side. I believe there way more men than woman on theses dating sites

[FoxnEagle]

I guess I have to agree with you there, although I have kind've just accepted it as being there. Some of my best dates have been stuff like bike rides or some other physical activity where taking out your phone is not wise.

[duneshandy]

I don't believe to much on the internet. My experience is they ask for money almost every time. Hasn't worked for me.

[Lman3000]

Yes, Have seen how many people have smartphones now? let alone taking their eyes off their phones