The views expressed are my own experiences. This is not a MGTOW opinion because I dont believe in that.
I have tried online dating since about 2011.Throughout those years i met a lot of people but never got lucky with dates. I have recently decided to give it up and try the time tested approach of face to face contact. Lets Look at some reasons why it dont work a majority of the time.
Location
In a smaller rural area your choices will be few, but likewise in a big city you have more competition. To me dating sites work better in college towns and smaller cities. You would have a bigger chance to meet someone.
Fake profiles/catfishes
There are an abundace of fake profiles on dating sites. Some ususally send messages about Nigerian lottery scams or camgirl sites. Then there are people who use fake profile pictures to stump users. They usually look nothing like their profile pictures
It takes a lot of time and effort.
Messaging other people has to just about be constant. It is hard to carry conversations for some people online just like its hard to fill out a profile for some people. I personally find conversation and finding about the person piece by piece rather than reading a profile.
It also takes a lot of $$$
Most dating sites want their users to spend money for memberships. These are costly with some being over $100 a year. Plus the results dont tend to be much better. I would much rather go on a real date with that money.
Online Dating isn't always safe
There are reports of people beng killed stabbed,raped, sexually assauled, choked, etc from people they have met on a dating site. Aplus about face to face dating is red flags seem to come up way quicker.
Some dating sites are exclusive
There are lots of dating sites, but they can be somewhat exclusive based on race, ethnicity,orientation, religion, and even lifestyle. So while there is a dating site for every walk of life its still not for everyone.
I personally suggest getting to meet people and get to know them face to face if possible.
I agree, dating is really hard for some people. However, I think there is someone out there for everyone, and I mean that. It's all about location. ex) I was watching one of my fav youtubers do a video on relationships and she said she doesn't believe in 'the one' because she could spend the rest of her life with someone else in the world, but she found her husband and they got along and decided to go through life together. Following that train of thought, I think there is someone for everyone, it's just hard to find one of those people in you're in a 'bad' location.
According to @TuMeManques I'm a hot momma. But no girls bat an eyelid on those dating sites. So yeah, not good for men. Then again, I didn't fill out my profile, and my intent wasn't really there! I think it's like anything, no matter the medium, if you're 'ready' to meet someone, you will.
@TuMeManques Apparently I'm attractive. And yet I'm repellent at the same time. *scratches head* Don't understand women! I'm everything a woman could dream of! Well, mostly, somewhat.
I think it's extra hard for men on dating sites, I get very few matches on tinder but I know I look pretty decent I admit I have high standards I won't accept less on which contributes but the only guys I know who get any amount of matches (without swiping right on everyone that is) are super stud guys.
Several studies have shown men always outnumber women 3 to 1 almost online so the women turn pickeir online than in person.
Again I've been told by most on here I look good, a 'date me' question said 50% out of many said they'd date me and find me attractive above the norm, I may not be a model but girls frequently have said I'm cute, handsome etc on here and other places yet I get very few matches on Tinder, so really if you have any high standards online dating isn't for you as a guy. Also it simply doesn't work for the majority is argue. You always hear about these marriage sites yet I literally don't know a single person even dating someone they met online.
First, nothing wrong with having high standards! Second, I have to agree that girls probably have the advantage. I couldn't keep up with the amount of messages I got when I used Tinder, and I'm not 10/10.
I think girls are also better at deception. It's pretty easy to fake what you look like (I know guys can do it too, I just hear this happening more often with girls). I've heard stories of guys being regular assholes on Tinder, but nothing nearly as crazy as females. My current boyfriend literally had a chick say, "hold on I gotta piss" and jump out of his car at a red light and pee on the side of the road.
Then again, maybe I didn't have any scary dates because the moment I felt like something was wrong with the guy I unmatched him lol
@TiredGirl123 yeah I don't agree with online dating for other reasons as well, you'd agree though that a guy not getting many matches doesn't mean he isn't good looking etc?
Some guys are legit ugly so unfortunately for them that is the reason. But not the only one. I was curious about how Tinder works so I actually did some research. They have all sorts of logarithms occurring that could affect it
@TiredGirl123 really I got months free of tinder plus and use my 5 super likes every day and rarely get a return like but again my standards plus like you said tons of guys messaging them I'm sure makes it so some don't even see it let alone swipe on it. Plus other guys who (no homo) look decent don't do much better than me, the one friend who does a lot of matching tends to swipe right on every girl and could be a stud if he took care of himself.
Here's a link to a rate me I did, you can decide if you think my looks were my downfall online haha and seriously you can be honest I said I have high standards I respect others views of who is and isn't attractive.
You are pretty spot on with most people's experiences.
Oddly enough, I met my boyfriend off of Tinder and we have been together happily for 6 months. I liked Tinder because it was free, it was harder for catfishing, and setting up a profile was easy. I probably just got lucky in my case though.
I have to agree with a lot of this. Meeting face to face eliminates some of the catfishing and outright initial fakery, but you always have to be careful when you meet people - regardless of how you found out about them. You're right about online being wrong for some people but it's also great for others. I like that it's an option for those who want it.
dating in general is a gamble; while the internet can add more layers to it, it's no more or less a dice roll than meeting people irl.
as someone who has had success with online dating (we used okcupid, which is free for both men and women, and it worked well because we were both time-pressed young professionals working 60+ hours/week), i will say that there are safeguards for a lot of these in place.
when my man and i went on our first date, i met him in a public place with tons of people around. i also told my roommate where i was going, who i was with, and approximately when i'd be home; my mom, who lives across the country, was also aware that i was meeting up with someone.
spoiler alert: almost 3 years later, we're still together and happy. :) <3
if you want to pay for it, or put in the work to apply to exclusive sites, go to town. but it's not required.
I agree. My friends and i all joined online dating and whilst they've all had luck on there. Im the only one that just can't get any matches. I even went as far as just swiping right on anyone and i still didn't get any matches. I've given up on it now lol
Lol what does your profile say? Maybe you accidentally have a sketchy profile or you posted bad pictures of yourself. Tip: Don't post pictures of yourself with any female.
@TiredGirl123 Pictures were fine. didn't have one with any females. My profile was pretty decent. Not too long, not too short. Humorous with a touch of honesty lol
You are spot on. I don't do online dating. I rather stay single and wait until i meet a man I'm interested in than to waste my time with "online dating" .
Yeah I agree with you. I didn't get some responses though. I could get a message from someone or they respond back with all short short answers. Some people just weren't too exciting. haha maybe it was me.
If you look at the statistics then online dating has a terrible chance for men and women just get to sift through their full inbox for the top 30%. It doesn't work and it's not scientific.
Most of them are crap. I joined POF not long ago and there are the same women on there from like 10 years ago with the same profile pictures to what they had back then. They never reply to messages. It's all one big scam to try get your money
Dating sites are a gamble. You could also meet a very great person there. I'm sure there's a woman on them sites that would totally wow and amaze you also.
Most Helpful Opinions