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The problem with dating nice guys

HedwigInABox

Pretty sure this topic has been covered before but I just wanted to add my two cents to it since I usually attract typical nice guys. Its probably because I'm generally dating down when it comes to looks. I know I sound like an asshole and I'm obviously not a model either but it's true. I like certain type of guy it seems like that's not the type that's very attractive to other women. Which is probably why they do these two things that always turn me away from them:

1. They put you on a pedestrial

Everyone likes getting compliments right? Well only to a certain extend. If you overdue it it can quickly become a turn off. I don't want to be put on a pedestrial. I'm equal to my partner and I don't want him to think otherwise. Besides, it get's boring over time. You'll sound like a broken record. And they'll loose their meaning if you throw them around all the time. I'd rather have a few compliments here and there than getting bombarded with them all the time.

2. They go from 0 to 100

This is something that bothers me the most. They often want to skip the dating part altogether and jump to being a couple or better yet married with a couple of kids. At least that's how it's been in my experience. I've had guys asking me to be their girlfriend before we even met. This is just putting pressure on me. I liked you and enjoyed texting with you so let's go on a date and see how it works out.

But I can't really enjoy our time together if I know you can't handle it not working out. Not everyone is compatible. But I often had my dating experience with a guy ruined because I knew he would not handle me rejecting him well cause in his mind we are basically already married. It makes me want to end things early because then it won't be so hard on you.

The problem with dating nice guys
The problem with dating nice guys
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Tatoosh
    I know most girls feel they often date down. That is hard question, since it is very subjective. But I think that regardless, it is great that you do. Finding an acceptable mate, partner, significant other takes time and some guys want to get through the uncertainty asap. That can be off putting.

    One question is, are you worried about them going to fast or are you just not ready to settle yet? If you are honest with them, "Hey, it takes time to know if we are really good together" or "Sorry, I'm not ready to make a serious commitment yet, but I like being with you" explanation can go a long way to telling that good guy you are worth be patient with or if he needs to keep looking.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Anonymous
    Every time I read one of these (many) anti-nice guy deals from women I just see it reinforcing the message that women prefer assholes and bad boys.

    Talk about shooting your self in the foot. <rolls eyes>
    Is this still revelant?
    • Yeah, it's the most common piece of crap self-entitled women post here when they want to write a take. To anyone who really had a bad relationship experience, this "oh, he gives me too many compliments" bullshit is just ridiculous. People need to get over themselves

Most Helpful Girls

  • Dikhla
    Nice guys are mostly husband/father material (im not saying bad boys are not).
    And i have seen my friend date a nice guy and she said its fine but she didn't find what she expected and dhe was underwhelmed.
    Is this still revelant?
  • heyoverthere
    I think the issue is more with guys who say they are nice but are actually fake and arrogant about their niceness
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

111
  • RolandCuthbert
    I wouldn't worry about it. Most nice guys aren't nice guys. Or they stop being nice as soon as they get a woman.

    Their actual deal is, they aren't nice because they are good-hearted people who simply want to do the right thing. They are nice because they feel they are supposed to get some kind of reward.

    Like sex.
    • People who do things in hope to get a reward aren't really good are they?

  • slatyb
    Those aren’t nice guys, those are desperate passive-aggressive guys. To them all women are alike. That’s why they can’t get dates - women can sense immediately that the guy isn’t really interested in them.
  • This sounds more like clingy/emotionally dependent guys to me rather than nice guys. Most of the nice guys I know don't overdo anything, aren't pushy, and wait for the girl to make her decision. If they overdo anything it's that they aren't even a little bit pushy and it can make them seem apathetic or uninterested. They' re your friend first and foremost. There's a reason there's the saying "Nice guys finish last".
  • Shy_Steve
    The problem is you Girls do not know if a Guy is really "Nice" until you talk to people that know him or work with him etc.
    But that's probably you go for the Bad Guy most of the time which is understandable.
    A true nice Guy is nice to everyone unless they are being rude to him.
  • ExplodingToad
    Some dudes try to come off as nice in an attempt to attract women, but really they just have some emotional problems. They aren't really nice people. It's smart to try to sniff that out and avoid them. However don't swing the opposite direction and date men who treat you poorly either. That's just a whole new set of problems. You just have to find a guy that's confident and well adjusted, without being a total d-bag.
    • Or you can date whoever the fuck you want, because nobody should come and tell you "date this" or "date that"

  • pigoat
    Nice guys finish last

    That statement make more since after reading this MyTake

    👍👍
  • SavageGirl101
    Nice guys don’t call themselves nice so this “nice guys finish last” bullshit needs to stop😭
  • Silver158
    The problem with dating OP...

    She can't spell "pedestal".
  • tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ
    You sound like someone who will become a lonely cat lady.
  • themythos
    They are boring, seems to be one reason i always hear
  • 8lutty
    dating nice guys u have the chance to dating ryan go... oh nvm
  • COMMODOREII
    Goes the same with some girls. Lol
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