Why you should never date the "nice guy"

[Anonymous]

Right girlies I am here to tell you why you should stay clear of the "nice guy" you friend-zoned!

1. He's boring and never found himself.

He spent his entire life hanging around with girls he wanted to date, trying to be who he thought they'd want him to be. He has a name for the way he dresses and will dress like the stereotypical goth, country boy, debate team guy etc etc. He never found what he liked, his goals were all female orientated, not about him. He's never done exciting things because he's waited for someone to share things with rather than make it happen alone. He has no clue who he is but will project who he thinks you want to be with. Behind it there is an empty shell of a human being that doesn't really like or do anything.

2. They get post-relationship depression and frustration.

He imagined and fantasised about you guys dating for months/years. You were going to be their everything and be in love with them and you two were going to have a magical life of happiness with them. Then it happens and he realises he's got to work hard to make it work and you aren't exactly how they pictured you with them. They become depressed and frustrated.

3. Stereotypical gifts

You don't like flowers and you're on a diet so don't want chocolate. You've mentioned endlessly how your cat eats the flowers or you have hay fever but yet they keep showing up at your door at every hour of the day. You find yourself running out of vases. They haven't learned to listen to another person so they snowball you with what you should like not what you actually like. They have had it embedded into them that good guys send flowers so that is what you get!

4. Deep down they're worse than the bad guys.

Because they have never solely worked on themselves for themselves they haven't worked on their mental state or accomplished goals. They have probably been screwed over by multiple girls and can't understand why because they're such a "nice guy". They are liars and manipulators with low self-esteem. They thought once they got you everything would be fixed, now it is not. As you continue your relationship piece by piece their bad side will expose itself. They will also project it onto you because he can't be a "nice guy" once you dumped him if he did no wrong.

5. Obsessed and jealous

He ends up being your own creepy stalker, in your house, watching you bathe through the crack in the door (yes this happened to me on 2 occasions). You don't have exes to mention. Even if you have kids with someone else, their father cannot be mentioned. You are perfect and virginal. You find him cutting sentences short because you mention that guy you work with in a work conversation, how dare you.

All in all I found they want to control you too! You are supposed to swoon at their flowers and attempts to be the perfect boyfriend and lose a few brain cells in the process enough that you will do whatever they say.

Don't waste your time. When you break up with too many bad boys and think of giving that clingy "nice guy" a chance don't bother!

For the men out there that will have something to say your definition of nice guy and ours is not the same. A girls version is that guy who's like a friend, he's creepy and doesn't have many male friends. He is always first there when you break up with someone and because of this he thinks he's entitled to you and acts offended when you turn him down. He will also show a very nasty streak when you reject him.

[NerdInDenial]

Here's the biggest take from this Mytake for guys: do not worship or revolve your life around chasing women because it's a mental battle and especially if you are not tall and good-looking. There are plenty of other things that you should do to invest your time.

[myTake Owner]

Agreed!

[Unit1]

You will lose money chasing women.
But you'll never lose women by chasing money.

Make the right choice.

[OceanAngeIIVEL]

@Unit1 i like that

[Unit1]

@OceanAngeIIVEL Of course. Especially gold diggers really love that. I am *not* saying you are one but still.

[karangill]

I liked the first sentence but you have to read more on the men's economic status and attractiveness.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Unit1 Disregard females, obtain currency.

[Unit1]

@karangill
I'm fully aware how that works and how women's job in dating (if they so choose) is to get with somebody, who isn't a loser. I know this from near first hand experience but the same applies for men as well.

@KrakenAttackin
I still love women but i can see what you mean.

[apollo3000]

It isn't at all - unless some North Korean posts anonymously to depress you

[KrakenAttackin]

@Unit1 well said!

[captain_voidwalker]

That's why I dropped out of dating around age 25. Frankly it's not worth wasting your time on. Now I'm 35 with a paid off house and a fat retirement portfolio. All thanks to the money and time I saved by not dating

[dc-refugee]

I'm in a similar situation. I stopped dating at 29 (I put a fake birth date into my profile, I am actually 39) and started taking the red pill a couple years thereafter. I don't want to state any explicit data here but I am pretty far along on FIRE and getting into some really cool hobbies now. The only thing that's sort of difficult is I do like kids and wished I'd had them. I have no desire to date a single mom and raise some other man's kids.

[captain_voidwalker]

Yeah unfortunately I think artificial wombs are a few decades away and 90% sure men will be banned from using them

[dc-refugee]

I cannot tell you how many female friends I had earlier in life that are 38-40 right now, childless, and single. We're talking beautiful women that I would have eagerly married when they were in their 20's or early 30's. The wine aunt meme is real. I can confirm it.

[Justneedtokno]

@dc-refugee Wait why did you have to lie about your age what does that have to do anything

[Gisellehappy]

@Justneedtokno They both sound like ugly men who could never attract a quality woman because they’re ugly on the inside and outside. Good people will attract good people.

[KrakenAttackin]

@dc-refugee These women made their choices. They rode the cock carousel long and hard, chased the top 5% of men, but couldn't keep them (they just got sex from them), and no man was ever good enough for them... until the men stopped chasing them, now they ask "where have all the good men gone".

ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE.

[KrakenAttackin]

@captain_voidwalker Agreed. Any man who wants a child through an artificial womb will be seen as a pedo.

[DonCachondo]

@Gisellehappy "good people will attract good people" just world fallacy

[apollo3000]

Again, you are falling for North Korean sabotage over the internet

[ManOnFire]

These repeated writings from females about "nice guys" really just feel like their justification for why deep down they're simply sexually attracted to men who are aggressive and disrespect others, while hating decent guys - that they know really are decent- because they just don't value those kinds of men.

[Gopnik]

Some do some don’t, there’s a difference between a genuinely nice guy and a “nice guy” being the latter fakes it all the former is completely genuine

[Gisellehappy]

@Gopnik My boyfriend is the “nice guy” and he is nothing of what she wrote above lol

[ManOnFire]

@Gisellehappy We've gotten to this simple-minded place in society where people think a guy calling himself "nice" is a red flag. Yet when a chick calls herself a nice girl nobody says she probably isn't.

[Gisellehappy]

It’s pretty much a double standard. I would love if people could let other people be people without labelling people.

[RemoErdosain]

You truly are on fire today

[Gisellehappy]

@RemoErdosain of course. It’s in the name.

[Gisellehappy]

Of course*

[ManOnFire]

@RemoErdosain Lol.

[Omega909]

I hate bitches

[Gopnik]

@Gisellehappy you don’t get my point ffs your boyfriend isn’t a “nice guy” if he’s genuine a “nice guy” is someone who fakes those things to get close to women

[Gisellehappy]

@Gopnik Fuck you! What do you know.

[Gopnik]

@Gisellehappy bitch what is your fucking problem can’t you read dumbass

[Gopnik]

@Gisellehappy i’m literally backing up your claim but you fail to recognize those “” mean something you blind fuck

[Gisellehappy]

@Gopnik You didn’t back up shit. You said “You don’t get it ffs” lol

[Gisellehappy]

@Gopnik Teenagers 🙄

[myTake Owner]

@Gisellehappy Using air quotes around a phrase means what is said is mocking or ironic if your boyfriend is a "nice guy" as opposed to a nice guy I feel for ya!
@gopnik I get you

[Gisellehappy]

Fuck off you bitter bitch.

[myTake Owner]

@Gisellehappy Ha wow "nice"

[Gisellehappy]

“Don’t date a nice guy” lmaooooooo k bitch.

[myTake Owner]

@Gisellehappy Your language and insults tell me you struggle with the concept of nice.

[Gisellehappy]

And your mytake reveals that you’re quite bitter.

[ManOnFire]

@Gisellehappy Ya wanna know something else sad? I hear women tell me about how they don't understand guys who go after girls who are bitches and just use them, yet you've got so many chicks like this Take author running after men who are assholes and they know they are but they're foolishly attracted to that, and know that these guys are trouble. In their minds it somehow makes sense to scratch their heads at guys running after badass bitches, but it makes perfect sense for them to pursue guys who are asshole jocks and try to justify the appeal in it.

[Gisellehappy]

The asked absolutely has no clue what’s good for her. It all comes down to self love and accepting what’s good for you and removing what will harm you. She wrote an entire mytake on how women should NOT date “nice guys”. I laughed my pants off at her stupidity and ignorance, especially because she should know better at 35 😂

[Gisellehappy]

Asker*

[myTake Owner]

@Gisellehappy Find it amusing you judge anyone or think you know what's best for anyone with the way you speak to people I laugh because you are 25!

[myTake Owner]

@Gisellehappy you lost your power to play the high road when you started throwing meaningless insults about and being nasty

[myTake Owner]

@ManOnFire "bitches bitches bitches" I am guessing you are one of those bad guys then. It's amazing how many of you will call yourself nice and good then speak so rudely to people. You claim I am distorted, yet you do not see me being so rude and mean to people online then preaching about how good and nice I am. Plus the day you see me chasing a guy around i will hunt you down and pay you £1m

[Gisellehappy]

Well it’s clear as day that you’re not the brightest or wisest woman to walk the earth. It’s probably why you’re posting anonymously, because you’re ashamed. Other comments agree that you’re focused on your “primitive fantasies”. I mean you’re 35. Need I say more? Probably not.

[ManOnFire]

@Gisellehappy Brilliantly said! That was my first thought when I saw this Take, that a 35 year-old woman is even still whining about "nice guys" and still interested in badasses.

@MyTakeOwner When you've reached adulthood but your maturity level is still that of a 19 year-old then you have no business trying to tell anybody what's wrong with "nice guys." And she's right, you don't even have the guts to really stand for what you believe you in or you wouldn't need to be anonymous.

And in the end what difference does it make? "Nice guys" are assholes in your mind, but you like outright jock type assholes too. Neither would be good. But it's all about sex for you. That's what it really comes down to.

[myTake Owner]

For 2 people who hate me so much and think so low of me you have surely spent enough time on my take talking about me. Unfortunately, you are both completely wrong about me but I'll add you to the fan club of people spamming my take for attention.

[ManOnFire]

We're not wrong. And you can add us to your goofy list. I don't really care.

[ManOnFire]

You agreed with the blue anon who said "Women like what they can’t have. They ride the carousel and monkey branch to whatever is available that they shouldn’t go after and avoid what they should. Women have never valued good men. Even on dating apps they just swipe for whoever because they are in a relationship and need reaffirmation that they are still attractive enough because they actively seek excuses to cheat. If they receive likes from men they think are attractive they aren’t depressed anymore."

You replied "You've got us nailed! lmao"

So I don't think we have you wrong at all.

[Gisellehappy]

@ManOnFire Oh the irony! She thinks WE are the ones who think low of her, well, little does she know that SHE’S the one who thinks the lowest of herself. It’s laughable.

[myTake Owner]

"You've got us nailed" mhm

Ever heard of a little thing called sarcasm?

[dantheman1990]

Wow wow wow I don't think it's the OP that's bitter here...

[ManOnFire]

@MyTake Owner You can play it off how you want.

[myTake Owner]

Don’t think I’m the only one that sees what’s going on here 😂 trolls will be trolls

[Gisellehappy]

The asker is deflecting

[dantheman1990]

@Gisellehappy i don't thing the asker likes the names your calling her rather than deflecting and quite right too. I feel for the "nice guy" your apparently dating

[dantheman1990]

@Gisellehappy if your so happy in your relationship why are you on her beggin it for attention

[myTake Owner]

@dantheman1990 Well you managed to shut her rantings up LMAO!!!

[dantheman1990]

She wasn’t getting the right type of male attention

[Shamalien]

This is deeply true…so fucking brutal but nature is brutal.

[Guy13]

I have had no TV since 18 so I have had extra time to get inspectors license, realestate license AND when I cut out dating then I knocked out GC. Dating is overrated as is the bar scene.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Yeah, this is pretty tired.

What you are describing is someone with an anxious attachment style. Attachment styles are formed in childhood, anxious attachment style is due to inconsistent affection from parents. This is someone who has a poor view of themselves, but a good view of other people. These people are often clingy, and don't believe they "deserve" others, so they have a hard time trusting anyone actually likes them.

What insecure women and even a lot of Securely Attached women prefer is the opposite of anxious: Avoidant Attachment Style (i. e. someone with a high view of themselves, but a low opinion of others.) This type is usually the result of no affection from care-givers or absent care-givers. They are characterized by coldness, selfishness, arrogance. They can leave a relationship for almost no reason and disdain showing emotions. They are not all men, but the stereotypical man is "Avoidant Style" (even though a plurality of men and women have a Secure Attachment Style).

Anxious men and even secure men see the attention that avoidant men (and to a lesser extent fearful men) get, and are confused by this. Of the four styles "fearful" is the worst for a relationship, but avoidant isn't great either. Avoidants are arrogant, selfish, the most likely to cheat, offer no emotional depth or support, disdain meaningful communication, have trouble empathizing with others. But they are stereotypically "masculine" in a cultural sense and arrogantly self-obsessed (or as women say, "confident"), so they are what Western women prefer.

Whenever a woman posts this she pretends that "Secure Attachment Style" doesn't exist, and she really tears into Anxious Attachment Style too, which are people who already have a low opinion of themselves. Basically, you're trying to justify a choice, which isn't going to work out for you in the long run by making the world all "bad boys" and "nice guys".

[likelyOK]

I was thinking something similar and I think you hit the nail on the head.

[likelyOK]

And anxious attachment exists in both genders with the same symptoms. I thought there was one more type though it was while since I studied it.🤔

[DonCachondo]

@likelyOK and men are far more forgiving toward women about having an anxious attachment style while the reverse is just brutal for guys who have it

[DonCachondo]

Awesome comment my dude! Very well-informed.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

@likelyOK There are four types total that I'm aware of, and I mentioned all four that I know. They go by a lot of different names though depending on who is teaching them. They are:
1) Secure attachment: High opinion of self, high opinion of others. About half of people. Ideal type to be (in theory).
2) Anxious attachment: Low opinion of self, high opinion of others. About a fifth of people. Results from inconsistent affection from care-givers. "Clingy", "needy", and as the name says "anxious".
3) Avoidant attachment: High opinion of self, low opinion of others. About a fifth of people. Results from absent or unaffectionate care-givers. "Aloof", "arrogant", "emotionally detached."
4) Fearful or Disorganized attachment: Low opinion of self, low opinion of others. Less than 10% of people. Results from abusive or extremely turbulent care-givers. Worst qualities of both attachment types. Tragic individuals. Can't trust others like them because they don't like themselves, can't trust others because they don't like other people. Need intensive therapy, and will always have trouble with connections. Think "Good Will Hunting".

[likelyOK]

Okay thanks

[WhistleForTheChoir]

@likelyOK Sorry to bother you, I meant to ask you though, do you know of a fifth type. I'm not an expert in psychology by any means lol but it's fascinating to me.

[DonCachondo]

I think it's currently just 4

[likelyOK]

No I'm pretty sure there was only four it was only included in one of my classes. I took some phycology classes but it was not my core

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

The problem with your post is that it has a very black and white view of men by classifying them as "nice guys" and "bad boys." More aspects of a person's character can exist rather than just two labels. Nonetheless, these classifications have their own unique characteristics and can be understood by simply understanding the very purpose of relationships and the methods certain men use to achieve that purpose.

The primary purpose of an intimate/romantic relationship is the gratification of sexual needs. The type of relationship is determined by the main focus of the relationship and/or level of feelings that a person has for his or her partner. For example, if the person desires to gratify his or her sexual needs with a person that he or she has strong feelings for, that person becomes their companion and the relationship would be long term, but if the person desires to gratify his or her sexual needs with more focus on the sex and less on the feelings, then the relationship is more likely short term. People with strong feelings toward each other are more likely to attempt spending the rest of their lives together while more sex driven couples are more likely in it for the fun. Additionally, when determining the best candidate for gratifying our sexual needs, we seek a trait commonly known as sex appeal, which is the quality of being attractive in a sexual way. With women, sex appeal is based mainly on appearance and femininity while, with men, it is based mainly on appearance and masculinity.

The problem is that the type of man often referred to as a "nice guy" typically values the companionship aspect of relationship, but lacks sex appeal. He rarely puts any effort in appearing sexually attractive to women and doesn't emphasize his masculine characteristics. As a result, he would utilize a "nice" personality as his primary substitute for sex appeal, something that he feels he lacks or cannot obtain. However, the problem with this is that while being nice could result in great friendships, niceness does not gratify sexual needs. Thus, "nice guys" typically get friend-zoned. When "nice guys" start focusing more on their looks to appear more sexually attractive, and work on their masculinity by having the confidence to approach women, flirt effectively, and take charge, they would become more desirable.

Another problem is that the type of man often referred to as the "bad boy" is the opposite of the "nice guy," whereas he focuses heavily on the gratification of sexual needs aspect of relationships, but cares little about the companionship aspect. He emphasizes his masculine characteristics well, being able to easily approach women with confidence and can flirt well, but doesn't really care too much about maintaining a long-lasting relationship. As a result, women are more likely to select the "bad boy" compared to the "nice guy" due to his sex appeal, but they tend to not spot the overall lack of care. The "bad boys" care about only gratifying their sexual needs with anyone they desire, making them more likely to be unfaithful. The overall lack of care could also potentially make them abusive.

My response is to avoid using subjective labels such as "nice guy" and "bad boy" to describe men because men are much more complex. Instead, I would advise women to view men more realistically in shades of gray and look for men with a good balance. Thus, they should date men that are sexually appealing to them, masculine, which can be determined by their overall level of confidence, as well as men that are compassionate, kind, caring, loyal, and loving that value long-term relationships.

[Battooot]

First of all, there is a big difference between a genuinely nice guy and a guy who is 'FORCED' to be nice because of his weak personality and cowardliness. A lot of your points are simply just incorrect or mis-represented.

For instance, #2 happens with pretty much every human being who has a crush. In fact, this is known to happen mostly with girls, yes, you. Even you can recall right now within seconds a few guys you pictured and fantasied a certain future with in the past. This is very normal to happen.
#3, you mentioned several times your cat eat your flowers. Yet a guy still brought you flowers. All you need here is communication and be honest/real. You got something you dont want several times, you need to speak up and tell him not to bring you that again. And if he DOES despite what you told him you need to get MAD at him and make sure communication goes through. What you are showing here is that you received them and stayed quiet. which means you lack heavily in communication department. 'Little' hints will not do. you have to SPEAK UP. so #3 is on you. This can happen with any guy by the way.
i agree with #4, that applies to those who are forced to be 'nice' because of their weak personality. they become passive aggressive when they are mad because they are too afraid to voice their true thoughts. However, you also need to acknowledge that there are some REAL genuine nice men who are actually shy. and those as well, wouldn't have worked that much on themselves, but you can never meet a sweeter man. What's this guy's fault? why is he lumped in on this? are you saying you would never ever date a genuinely kind sweet man? If that's the case, you might stay single for a long long time.

#5... are you kidding me? This applies to every man and that's not being a creepy stalker, that's just called being perverted. Heck, if im single, and i know some woman who is NOT even my crush showering in the same PLACE im in and kept door crack open... i'm not only gonna peek through that door i'm actually gonna make the crack bigger. In fact, depends how well i know her, i might just open the entire door and say... oh sorry i thought i was gonna be able to see you completely naked but the steam is blocking my entire view i'l just help myself out of here. And a man who doesn't want to hear the 'other' father's name is very normal and infact this is more common to happen with 'bad boys' more than nice guys. Why do you not expect a guy to get mad the moment they hear and remember another man who fucked his current GIRL. Or his crush! You girls act way worse when you are in this same situation.

Moral of the story is. "Nice guy" could either be a genuinely nice but extremely shy person (not all men are Alpha and brimming with confidence!) OR could be a shitty human who is wearing a 'nice' mask just because he is literally forced to, otherwise he will be beat up. Give him power or money and in 1 second he will turn into a doochbag. Until someone beats him up again and show him his place and return him to that passive aggressive good little boy who will listen to orders and actually complete them even though he didn't like that order. and you will see in his face that he didn't like it but he can't do or say anything cause cuck with no personality.

You as a girl need to be able to tell the difference.
Moral#2, most the stuff you mentioned are incorrect or misrepresented, and you seem to lack communication or assertiveness, or probably both. So read what i said on those points. and do a better mytake next time after taking my points into consideration.
If you personally don't like genuinely nice guys then that's on you, but don't ever lump in a genuinely nice guy who is shy with other shitheads. Because actually dating a nice guy could be the best decision you ever made in your life. and that's a promise i will make to you as a man to woman.

[Battooot]

And if you were wondering which kind of guy i am... I am a guy who was once genuinely kind and extremely shy (my face would turn tomato if a girl talked to me) who worked on himself through the years and became the most assertive confident genuinely nice guy anyone would ever meet.

[dc-refugee]

Women want to tame the beast. That's what this really is. You want to get the bad boy or untamed male to become devoted to you because of your beauty and love. That's the female fantasy in a nutshell.

On the other hand, there is contemporary life. The closest men can really get to being a "bad boy" without severe life long negative impacts is the way they dress, act, talk, and maybe riding a motorcycle and snow boarding or surfing or something. Any male who becomes such a "bad boy" that they are running a corner for a street drug gang or robbing banks or is so sexually aggressive that they are engaging in rape -- those things are so risky and illegal that they put a man on a path to felony charges, prison, and/or a violent death. Perhaps the most violent and dangerous a male can be is to join the military and get deployed to war, but, that's also pretty risky. You see guys come back with PTSD, drinking problems, maimed, and a small percentage to get killed.

Guys like me who get an education, get good jobs, work hard, save money and build wealth are focused on engaging in the behaviors you need to build communities and families, which is also a very masculine behavior even if it is not hyper aggressive. It may superficially appear to be "boring" to a young woman in her prime who is focused on her more primitive fantasies.

The economy is very specialized today. It tends to reward those who spend years mastering specialized skill sets. Women are going to have to think very deeply about what they want and make choices accordingly. What things can a good man on the right track do that would prove his masculinity to you without having to engage in dangerous or illegal behavior at or outside the margins of society?

[KrakenAttackin]

@dc-refugee Very well said.

[ManOnFire]

@dc-refugee "Guys like me who get an education, get good jobs, work hard, save money and build wealth are focused on engaging in the behaviors you need to build communities and families, which is also a very masculine behavior even if it is not hyper aggressive. It may superficially appear to be "boring" to a young woman in her prime who is focused on her more primitive fantasies."
- This is exactly what I was telling someone else here awhile ago too! This is spot on!

[KrakenAttackin]

@ManOnFire "Wow, "focused on her primitive fantasies", hit the nail on the head. Bravo!

[YourFutureEx]

This take will trigger a lot of men and some women as well because the author has used cruel words to tell the bitter "truth".

While there's nothing wrong with being a nice person, you shouldn't be nice to someone solely to fuck their pussy because that wouldn't be so "nice" as you have ulterior motives.

The reason why guys get triggered over this is because of the word "nice". Articles like this make them feel like it's wrong to be nice if they want the respect of women. But they should understand that they shouldn't take the word "nice" literally in this context.

You should be nice to women, but have your boundaries, you life, confidence, charm, integrity, ambition, dominance, humour, wit and I'm sure, no one will put you into friendzone or creepzone. 80% of the times you will get the girl, otherwise you'll face the rejection because she's committed or (initially) insecure or only want money/fame/model looks and such girls are in minority and you shouldn't be dating them anyway.

TL;DR : If you want success with women, "don't try".

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Nice guy here!
Well to a point. I was the dorky guy that didn't have much luck with girls and I always saw the assholes with several options.
As far as bothering girls, I never send corny present or didn't take a no for an answer and lash out on them after rejecting. I understood why they didn't want me. I never saw anything special about me either, so when I got any sign that they didn't want me I would stay away from them.
That made me sad, of course, but never angry or bitter at them. I was angry at myself. The thing was I knew it was my fault. I mean, if others have something that I don't is for a reason! If girls like them and don't like me it's because they have qualities that I don't. Simple.
What to do? Let's work on gaining those qualities! I didn't have to become an asshole or anything, I just had to work on my confidence, the way I dressed and groomed myself, gained some muscle mass and improve my dialogue. That was all it took for my "luck" to change.
I hate to see guys acting like what you described! They blame everyone else for their lack of dating life besides themselves. I am living proof that having the right mindset and self improvement actually works!
"Nice guys" that are reading this Take and rarely made by the author, be mad at yourselves! This is for you! Takes time and effort, but if you don't want to change don't expect things to change.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I hate women like you, not because you hate nice guys, I don't care about that, but because you will bitch and moan about nice men then turn around and go after an asshole who treats you like shit and then bitch and moan about them too. No one cares, if you want a guy who will treat you like shit, cheat on you, gas light you and leave you crying every other day, makes you feel like your inadequate, I don't care because that only affects you. However it affects every one when you go out and bitch and moan about it, when you then get old and used up and try to find the nice guy after "learning your lesson"(read: are to old to attract the assholes who have moved on to an equally stupid, but significantly younger and more attractive woman).

Just have the balls to admit what you are and just stop bothering every one else. No one cares that you want an asshole because you need the drama because you don't have anything else in your life of value, no one cares that you don't like the nice guy because you don't have a personality so you need your partner to do all the work to entertain you, no one cares that your shallow your going to get old and unattractive eventually and its going to bite you in the ass. The only thing people want from you is for you to just stop bitching when it all goes to hell and you play victim.

[myTake Owner]

You didn't need to read my take. I did not invite you to read or comment on it so, therefore, I am not bothering you. If you wanna look at it that way you came on my take and put poison on it. So that's a little hypocritical. Secondly, if you feel like you can associate with the above guy to the point where you need to spew such hate to me personally then who is the one with an issue? it is not me!

[2Lips]

Yeah she just wants an excuse to date assholes who disrespect her. She fails to realize that if she still smells shit after getting through with garbage then the smell must be coming from her.

[youknowbetter]

She’s in her 30s and she still has this twisted belief. She’s beyond hope.

[myTake Owner]

@youknowbetter Something bit your butt lmao

2lips I don't conform to conversations with women that feel the need to tear other women down for male attention, you have been blocked see yas

[2Lips]

Bitch please! You’re over here complaining and comparing men like you’ve seen and been through enough relationships and you’re 30 and still bitching. Clearly you the one that has daddy issues.

[2Lips]

“ A girls version is that guy who's like a friend, he's creepy and doesn't have many male friends. He is always first there when you break up with someone and because of this he thinks he's entitled to you and acts offended when you turn him down. He will also show a very nasty streak when you reject him.“ - this is what upset me the most. You’re clearly those girls who will manipulate and keep guys around for your own benefits, leading them on to fulfill your need for attention. The irony.

[youknowbetter]

@2Lips thank you for calling her out on this bullshit. At least she’s honest about being screwed up and twisted. There are other women who behave the same way but don’t come out and say it.

If we want more “gender equality” than we need to hold men and women to the same standards in dating too. I’m having a hard time having sympathy for women who invite self destruction into their lives just because it “excites them”. The endgame is always the same. It’s not my fault she enabled these POS’s to mistreat her. You reap what you sow.

[2Lips]

@youknowbetter She doesn’t think she’s twisted. There’s hundreds of posts on here about shitty manipulative nice guys which I tend to agree with but this of different. She’s over here talking shit about guys that SHE CHOSE to befriend and date because they’re so “creepy” and “controlling.” It’s disgusting. Her attitude is disgusting. She fails to realize she’s just as bad because she doesn’t have the balls to cut off these guys and stop leading them on. It’s not that hard to draw boundaries. Like if she thinks little of these guys then why would you go on dates with them? What do you expect? There’s so much that’s just wrong with this post I can’t even.

[youknowbetter]

@2Lips because she benefits from having nice guy “orbiters” in her life. She use them for attention, paid dates, favors, even sex (not common but does happen). Then one of two things happens. She ditches them for no good reason or they wise up and ditch her. Either way it’s a lose lose lose all the way around.

I know not all women are like that. I’ve dated a few of them. One of them could of been my wife but I was going though a very difficult time in my life when we met. Sucks but I accept that’s how it worked out. by the way she constantly called me a “nice guy” (I hated that and told her to stop it often) but it was plain as day she was deeply in love.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Sure, but you posted it in a public forum and now your upset that some one had the audacity to disagree with you, I mean no disrespect from this but tough shit. You don't spout off an opinion in a public place then complain when some one else disagrees with it. You could have not posted this, you could have kept it to yourself, you chose not to and I chose to respond accordingly. Don't blame me for that. This is why I hate women like you, you want to have everything go one way, you want to avoid responsibility for your actions, like here, you spouted off your opinion but now that you didn't get the responses you want your upset over it.

I didn't come to your take and "put poison on it", I pointed out the issue with your way of thinking, and that is that you will never take responsiubility for it (again, as your not even taking responsibility for your own comments and acting like the victim when people respond to your publicly stated opinion (what are we suppose to just let you say what ever you want but the rest of us have to keep quite so as not to offend you? You didn't care about offending others, why should any one care about offending you?).

[hellionthesagereborn]

Let me explain it simply, I don't care what you do with YOUR life. I care when your piss poor decisions go and affect others (and they will). Its like drugs, I don't care if you do them, I don't care if you destroy your life with them, but if you go and rob some one to feed that habit, destroy other peoples lives, neglect your kids what have you, that's when I have a problem.

What your talking about is no different. Your life is empty and meaningless so you fill it with drama because its all you have to live for, fine go for it. But people like you will bitch and moan that their are no good men left once those assholes move on to some one else, you'll find some desperate guy who will get suckered into being with you and taking care of you and then you'll destroy his life as well all while claiming its every one elses fault but your own. That's the issue I have with women like yourself, I personally don't care because it won't affect me as I avoid women like you, but other will suffer (and I'll be forced to hear your bitching and bitterness when you end up old and alone and blame men and the world for your poor decisions).

[youknowbetter]

^^^^ hit it on the head. Funny I was comparing this to drug addiction too earlier.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@youknowbetter Well its the same thing. They get a high off the reconciliation, the drama and the guy coming back to her which gives her this massive ego boost so the withdrawl as it were (the fights and other bullshit) is worth it to them. Its an addiction. Women are wired to want some drama, studies have shown that when a woman sees her mate is unhappy (after a fight), it makes her happy because it means that since he is upset, he still cares and is invested in the relationship (which is why women like to shit test guys, its to make sure he is still invested. If he stops caring he no longer is invested in her and that's a sign the relationship is dead).

From an evolutionary standpoint I can understand that but these women are the type that become highly addicted to this and ramp up the drama to get that dopamine fix. I mean its true that a guy should be his own person and not be worshipping the woman, she is looking for a leader not a hanger on, but these women want the most extreme end because that's what gives them the biggest high.

That's actually why if you look at some of the more "blunt" pick up artists, they talk about gaslighting women and playing these games because so many women are addicted to it and they fall into the same patterns so easily. Its disturbing and I do not approve of manipulating some one like that but women like her actively seek it out and these asshole men will essentially function like drug pushers and give them the fix they need while getting what they want out of her, he pretends to care when he doesn't because it gets her invested.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@youknowbetter But yeah, its pretty messed up and more so that so many of these types of women don't realize just how unhealthy and destructive it is.

[youknowbetter]

At least she’s honest about her disgusting bullshit. For every one of her there are at least 5 women who feel the exact same way.

How can you expect men to get behind “gender equality” when we see this bullshit going on?

[hellionthesagereborn]

@youknowbetter Well they don't actually want that, they want the benefits of equality but not the responsibility. But yeah it does make it difficult to want to be equal (hell it makes it difficult to want to be around a woman like that to begin with).

[youknowbetter]

When is the day going to come when this disgusting paradox is exposed? Why is it that higher education, mass media, Hollywood, etc never call out this hypocrisy? Or at least have a movie about a woman acting the way she does and how it’s completely self destructive. It’s hinted around about in romantic comedy but you see the nice guy winning in those flicks. Not the ugly reality where the woman embraces her own destruction, the “nice guy” is left out cold and the asshole gets another notch under his belt.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@youknowbetter Well because those are feel good movies, they are an illusion. I mean they also show good winning, but reality is a lot different from that (good does win, but it usually takes generations, not hours to do so). Its also the issue that those who make those movies are in an ideological group that wants this behavior to flourish, its self destructive and that gives them power. Women who do down this path will encourage other women to do so to justify their own poor judgment. The irony is they will eventually find out how stupid this behavior is. The woman who wrote sex in the city (all about a woman like this), has lived that life style and now admits she regrets not settling down and having a family. A prominent feminist (I forget which one) claimed how women don't need men and that children just burden women, that women don't want children its just men forcing them to act like baby factories. She after hitting fourty something years old, admitted she regrets not settling down and is trying to adopt a child. Another woman wrote an article on how she dumped her fiancé convinced she could do better, seeking that thrill that comes with the asshole guys (she find the guy she is looking for and unsurprisingly cheats on her and hurts her over and over again.). She ended up trying to crawl back to the other guy after about three or four years of this and found he had gotten married and was starting a family, now she has jumped from guy to guy, in her own words "lost the love of my life", and at fourty will more then likely die alone and childless to her regret.

These people need to convince other women that this is okay in order to gain that social acceptance of bad choices to sooth their own feelings. This is why women are more depressed then ever before (women in the fifties were happier then today), they ignored biological drives, went for the easy thrills of the bad boys, society let them and now its backfired horribly.

[myTake Owner]

I’ll label this comment thread “bitter and jealous people” 😂

[2Lips]

😂 Puh-Leeze!!! Jealous of what? You have nothing. No man, no brain, no self respect, no humility. And you actually sound like a teenage girl if I reread this entire thing. Which now I am convinced that’s what it is. Your brain and experience is not developed like an adult human brain should be.

[2Lips]

I’ll label this post as “Probably a low self esteem teenaged girl who clicked the wrong age when she signed up to this website.”

[youknowbetter]

@2Lips accurately put. But I think she really is in her 30s. I’ve met women as dumb as her who were close to 40. Like chasing guys who treat them like shit makes them feel younger or something.

[myTake Owner]

😂😂😂 you guys are too funny the amount of passion you have for me right now is hilarious don’t you have anything else to do 😂😂

[youknowbetter]

Wait a minute. Interesting theory here.

Maybe you are secretly a good girl (or a guy using a woman’s profile) who is trying to help toughen up nice guys. You might not 100% believe in what you wrote in your take. It was definitely disgusting to the point of being unreal, especially by a woman your age. Maybe you really believe in only 50% of it and share this as a “warning”. Either that you are a complete troll.

A guy has to have a difficult and delicate balance of being part asshole and part nice guy. This is easier said then done. I’ve only pulled it off on girls I was semi attracted to. Very very hard to maintain that if I’m really attracted to her. I tend to go all nice and have constantly check myself.

But anyway just the way you liked a few guys opinions about “don’t invest your time in women. I didn’t and I have a paid off house” gives me pause. Hmmmm

[myTake Owner]

@youknowbetter aws I’ll add you to the fan club I don’t have time to write a wall of text back or read yours but I’ll send you my autograph xxxx

[MrWolf]

Seems to me you are confusing a mental disorder with being nice.

What is the definition of a nice guy by the way. None of those if you ask me or any other person.

First. Aye that's basically mental disorder type of person.

Lady you watch to many movies. Stalking you while taking bath a nice guy nope. You have a bad taste in men if you ask me and this take advice you give is on personal agenda against those type of people and guess what you are still going to date another of those because habbits.

Now for us man the definition of a nice person so said that being a man or a woman is the same a person who is nice and that's it.

That type of person is a goos natured being. Who won't ever harm a fly. He is nice to basically most people. But he definitely ain't fool. Sure he may be a bit trusty and get used but that's it.


Don't confuse being nice with beeing a creepy person you just don't mix those for like any Reason.

I feel sorry for the nice people out there who have to go and read that made up sob story about you not having luck with man.

Grow up lady nothing is all Sunshine and Rainbows.

Like we man don't encounter enough crazys in our lifes it's the same and with woman.

The truth is toy have to avoid that type not run after them. Lol.

[Mymy2458]

I think it depends on the guy. Though i have definitely met men like this, I've also met women like this.

Its really up to you to keep them around or not. Even if they start stalking you, there's many ways to get away from them or to get them to stop.

I personally don't date or see anyone in any way anymore. I got tired of dating and wanted to settle down, but after so many failed engagements... i finally realised that i don't really want anyone to love me. Its conflicting but i know its best to stay away from people all together. Guys i talk to all seem to start liking me at some point and women either grow to despise me or obsess over me.
And id rather not have to deal with the "I've been with you through everything so why don't you love me" situation.
Some people just don't understand that, just as they have their opinions on us, we have our own opinions of them.

Also guys, it really doesn't
matter to a lot of women how tall, big, muscular, or wealthy you are. It just depends on a woman's feelings.

[crazy8000]

It's pretty amusing that people keeps on thinking they are entitled of something from other's just because they feel in a certain way and doesn't put in the right kind of effort to create the feelings that's needed.

I have noticed that a lot of people in general (no matter gender) get obsessed about physical attributes like muscle cloths, size of different body parts.
It's pretty amusing when they say they doesn't get attracted because of that and then clearly shows they are 🤣 especially about muscles amongst females, butt and chest, even crotch, it's little to obvious.

How female's obsesses over thing's guy's doesn't care about and makes up exuses and theories to justify when it has to do with how they make the other person feel with how they behaves and are as a person.

[Mymy2458]

@crazy8000
I guess it just depends on each individual.

[zoomzdd]

I agree with this "myTake", see there are two kinds of nice guys first one those who act like nice guys and the second one those who really are nice guys. See here is the difference the 1st one tries to please everyone, they do things to make you like them or the things they think you will like instead of doing things which you actually like. They don't have any of their boundaries, they will do anything to be with you even loose their self respect, their life revolves around a single person ( in most cases their girlfriend or wife) they think their happiness matter more then their own, they get frustrated and depressed by your actions, they will never tell clearly what they want. And on other hand there are 2nd type of nice guys, they don't try to make you happy or want to get your attention. They are men of high self esteem. They have their boundaries, their happiness don't revolve around some other person. They respect everyone, they don't act differently with you, they don't put you in pedestal they stand with you pedestal, these are type of men with whom you feel less worried, they that masculine factor.
But the 1st type of guy, they are not bad one or not dating material type men, give them time maybe take them to a therapist or consultant, the main problem lies in their childhood, from childhood everyone left them alone when they needed them so try very hard so that you don't leave them, it's not their fault it's more of how they thought things will work for them.
At last i want to say that give them time, tell them when they're doing wrong, provide them with what they lack in their childhood, and if things want right they're the best guys out there.

[Anonymous]

ahh well this post you presented just shows what kind of true piece of shit you really are. Why the fuck should the father's name be mentioned when the deadbeat dad ran off to fuck other chicks leaving some other poor smuck to clean up his mess by raising a few ankle biters that aren't even his. and for that matter what kind of beta male would sit there and listen to his woman go on and on about a guy she works with. and if a guy sits there and listens to you bitch and complain about the guy you dumped then he's a pathetic beta male and deserves to be with a nightmare of a woman like you. and you can backlash me all you fucking want I really don't give a shit. and if you had a guy or 2 guys watching you bathe because you didn't properly close the door and come on here bragging about it then you obviously liked the attention by those pathetic perverted bastards. And I can sure as hell tell you with 100% truth if you were to ever mention another guy's name around me whether it be the ankle biters father or a coworker or whatever my ass will sure as hell drown you out and not listen to an ounce of your whiney dribble

[Opinion Owner]

women like you are the biggest nightmare to be around and will make any guy's life miserable because you're own life is miserable as fuck and you enjoy watching other people just as miserable as you

[Opinion Owner]

and if you weren't fucking miserable you wouldn't have an ankle biter kid latched on to you by the leg or hip or waiste and you wouldn't have given the "nice guy" as you put it a chance when the bad boy who fucked you and knocked you up leaving you with the kid to raise would still be with you, but since they're not you go ahead and try to find some pathetic beta male smuck a chance to raise your ankle biter while you never put out for him and treat him like complete garbage because no badboy wants to date your sorry ass now that you've been washed up like the typical trash you are with a kid clentching at your waiste side. hoping that pathetic beta male who you walk all over while in the relationship raises your kid and financially supports your worthless ass.

[Opinion Owner]

here's a helpful hint for future reference. keep your legs closed and don't spread them for every criminal guy with a police record you see. then you wouldn't be in the situations you're in

[myTake Owner]

You talk degradingly about innocent kids then call me a piece of shit hahaha think you need a good look at yourself!

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Damn that was brutal 🤣 but sounds pretty accurate. Of course, this really applies more to 'NiceGuys™', rather than regular guys who happen to be nice. Some guys just have more agreeable personalities than average, which can lead to some women unfairly lumping them in with the NiceGuys™. I also think flowers have been twisted in their meaning because NiceGuys™ use them in the way you describe. If they're used sparingly and sincerely, they can still have value, but I can't help but see guys give flowers to a girl, and make a negative connotation about the guy. That niceguy association is just too strong in my mind.

[myTake Owner]

Yaaaaay a guy that actually recognised the nice guy trait

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Yep i consider myself basically a nice enough guy, but NiceGuys™ are a breed unto their own. It's like romantic incompetence tinged with resentment and bitterness. I used to be pretty shit at showing romantic intentions towards girls, but I never got bitter towards women as a result. I think that's the line that separates guys who are just lonely or socially awkward... from the NiceGuys™ who use fake niceness as a means of manipulating women.

[Elsa143]

Girl WHATEVER YOU HAVE WRITTEN IS CORRECT, but your HEADING "Nice Guy" is totally wrong.
It should be "Dating a LOSER".
I've seen many nice guys being successful, honest, strong and yes they're obsessed with you because they love you.
AND ACTUAL NICE GUYS ARE VERY RARE TO FIND.

[Reaperbot666]

modern "nice guy" has 2 options in life.

1. go your own way and opt out of dating. since the chances of you landing a girl are slim. since many woman would rather be with. the "bad boy" for the thill and excitement they offer. even if they know it is for a limited time frame. but on the bright side you'll get to keep all your money and do things you enjoy to do.

2. be put in the "friend zone" by most girls you meet. with almost no chance at a relationship or sex with her. which you then become like one of her girlfriends or just another shoulder to cry on. when the "bad boys" she was with cheats on her, abuses her or dumps her. possibly even leave her with a few kids. to now have to raise by herself or find some schmuck to help her.

[Mystic_Nova]

Is it weird I bascally just want my boyfriend to be a friend? I hate getting gifts, and I really dont need grand gestures. I'd much rather be with a guy who I can relax around, than a guy trying to hard to be "romantic" but I def agree with 2 and 5. I met a lot of guys who said they were nice and deep down they were just undercover malicious assholes. Who acted nice enough, to make it seem like he isn't the cillian, but he is actually an emotional leech who needs constant back stroking and almost needs you to reassure him you like him everyday.


So happy I decided to keep my virginity. I'd much prefer to die a virgin th waste my time with guys who mentally abuse me like some "nice guys" are pros at doing

[Dargil]

Total absolute nonsense. Many of us simply don't "need" you because we have better things to do than chase pussy and settle for the baggage that goes with it. We are civil and moderate because it advances our goals. I display honor, respect and dignity; interpreted as "nice" but am not and do not wish to be your "friend". Men make better friends. I will invite you out because I would like you to be a part of my life but I do not wish to be a part of yours. I slept alone a lot as you might guess but did not waste my time, treasure or heart on useless pursuits. If you want follow me, great. Otherwise, have a nice day.

[youknowbetter]

She’s in her 30s and she is spewing this twisted nonsense. Incredible.

[Chriscunning]

I find it so interesting. I know many single girls who are hunting for 'nice guys' but can't find them because they always taken. They end up with self centered, greedy, selfish, abusive guys.

Sounds like you had a bad time with this 'so called' nice guy. Misunderstanding 'manipulation guy' as 'nice guy' is a whole other ball game.

[myTake Owner]

There are genuinely nice guys out there! But every girl has a cling on guy who swears he is nice but then when he’s rejected he gets passive aggressive. These guys have usually been friend zoned by us. Any women worth her salt knows the “nice guy” type I’m talking about and never dates them or gives them a second look. I tried and was showing what actually happened!
Most genuinely nice guys are actually taken or off on some project and not looking.

[djmzes]

The real question is: why they are not looking and why they are in some other project.

One thing to remember, life is the product of the choices we made.

[Chriscunning]

It's always easy to pretend to be something you not for 2 or 3 years. Passive aggressiveness is definitely "not a nice guy" and only means he duped you into dating him. Changes are at 2 or 3 years he would've turned abusive. If not physically then emotionally at least. Controlling, etc.

As a guy it's easy to spot 'nice guys'. But somehow they do fly under the radar or have been burn't by "not nice girls" which makes them reluctant to hook-up with any girl because of fear of being hurt again. It's easy to take advantage of a nice guy because they don't get angry at you.

I can promise you didn't date a nice guy. Any 'nice guy' who turns passive aggressive was merely putting on a show.

[Anonymous]

Yah yah we have all heard this before. Old story. Blame the friendzoned guy for wanting love from besides their parents. No, I don't agree they should go all nice guy mode over it, but then again, leave guys the fuck alone if they choose to be independent and single then. It's pressure towards the opposite that creates that kind of dude. Guys should also be left alone to help guys like this leave this sort of mentality while girls can return the favor and tackle those "nice" girls in existence. You know the ones. Think preacher's daughter turned into pregnant at 16 with local drug dealer. They exist plenty. Where's their "fake nice" criticism? There's fake nice girls too so how about evening it out and mentioning them as well?

[myTake Owner]

I don't tend to date many "fake nice girls" so wouldn't know or be able to make a take on that

[Opinion Owner]

Well then, perhaps girls in general should think twice then about going off about "nice" guys until their "nice"girls issues are also solved. It's tit for tat. You're confusing nice for desperate. By your logic. guys then in return should avoid dating any girl who seems remotely friendly because total bitches are much less dangerous. That means, by your own logic, you probably are a "nice" girl we should avoid, as so far, you don't seem like one of those bad girls.

[myTake Owner]

Did you not read the last part of the thing or notice that “nice guy” was in quotations? Ok so imagine a girl constantly following you about. Whenever you break up with someone or have a bad date bam she’s there to comfort you hoping you will chose her. She’s not really done anything with her life. She went to college got a degree then went to work, part time as a shop assistant. Then she moans and pities herself and it’s always someone else’s fault she’s only a shop assistant. She makes passes at you and when you say no she calls you a dick and all the names under to sun, vanishes and then resurfaces a week later! She declares herself a nice girl and compares herself to your exes to prove she’s never do anything nasty like that. She has no friends you seem to be all she has. When you’re down she will bring you a pizza or something because that’s what nice girls do! You can see she’s desperate to be with you and she is always there. You think she’s cool to hang around with but she’s just not your type. She also won’t take no for an answer. You try cold shoulder her for her then to crop up with second profiles on social media she just happened to set up because something happened to her old one. This is what girls mean by “nice guy” and why the term had quotes. Many girls know of this type of guy but there’s not many girls out there like this or maybe there is it’s just the gender reversal changes the dynamic. Or guys don’t see the girl is that into them. Meanwhile everyone’s telling you she seems nice you should take her out you’ve been out with too many psychos.

[Opinion Owner]

Seems specific, like you are describing a personal situation. I know what "nice" guy is. I get it. No need to explain. The problem is that the term should be more straight forward as it then makes normal guys look bad. Guys do in fact in deal with girls just like you described. They are a bit different, but they exist. But guys call them as they are which is "desperate."

Only girls have degraded the word nice instead of actually calling it as it is, which is desperate and stalker. I kinda agree with many guys here that girls often use this as an excuse to be shallow, judge by looks, and date guys who would have no issue beating them to a pulp.

Yes, desperate guys exist but so so desperate girls. That's humanity. Guys don't complain about it near as much even though we are constantly bombarded with webcam links on social media even though we've shown no interest. Why don't girls just flatly tell the desperate guys the truth, which is that they don't want a relationship and they'll call cops on stalkers? I've messaged back the gals sending me webcam bs "fuck off slut" specifically to get the message through an usually, it's effective. Girls can't do the same or at least similar? Right.