Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy


In my first year of college I was like a kid in a candy store! All these intelligent, witty, funny, sexy men... how could I resist?

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

My third class of the day was my favorite. I sat behind Nick...he was so HOT. The way he smiled, the way he looked so groomed and so mysterious. It was no wonder that all the girls sat beside him! And when he looked at you...it made you feel on top of the world :)

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

I recall a month into class, a girl sat in my seat (right behind Nick), so luckily there was a seat open beside him. He smiled and said "ahh now I can copy your notes by looking to the side, instead of behind me". I laughed and it wasn't long before we were joking around for a few weeks. It was the highlight of my day.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

Finally the day had come!!! "A couple friends of mine are gonna see a movie, wanna come?" I was so excited! I got dolled up and met him alongside his buddy and his date. Nick was a gentlemen and bought us tickets and popcorn, and even opened the car door every time I made my way in and out of the car. A few dates later I was smitten and he told me that he really liked me. It wasn't just his looks, he was super nice and sweet- or so I thought.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

It was probably our 6th date when his cell phone rang and he quickly flipped his phone over. I was a little suspicious but he said "my buddy wants to go drinking, but I'm spending time with my girl". I quickly let my guard down and he hugged me.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

Two weeks later we were to go to dinner, when twenty minutes before he was to pick me up, I got a call. "Hey, my dad isn't feeling well- so I'm gonna drive up there, sorry but let's reschedule tonight". I was bummed, but I understood.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

Then again a week later, Nick phoned to tell me that he forgot he has an exam and can't hang out that evening. I was trying to be understanding but at this rate, I couldn't see why we couldn't study together. So I did what at the time I thought would be a sweet gesture. I picked up some potato chips, drive-thru burgers and drinks and went to drop off some snacks for the guy I thought I knew.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

Not sure whether it was fate... but right as I was about to walk up to his place, I saw Nick in his car with some girl and seeing as he was stroking her hair, I assumed "hey that's probably not his sister". Instead of creating a big scene, I simply waited for them to drive off. I took the snacks and food and put it outside of his door.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

The next day I sat way up in the front, far away from Nick. He tried to speak to me after class, and text me, but I just ignored him. In fact, he really didn't even try that hard to win me back, come to think of it. For the remainder of the semester he was surrounded by girls.

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy

Nick was symbolic that when a guy is too good to be true, he most likely is. I'm glad I didn't invest any more time into him. Just wish he was honest in saying, "I like you and a bunch of other girls".

Why You Should Never Date the Hot Guy
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38Girl Opinion
56Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • MrOracle
    Hot guys and hot girls are usually the same: they have LOTS of options (because they're hot, and so everyone wants them), and because they have lots of options, they take advantage of those options.

    Guys do it by getting with a bunch of different girls, and never committing to one. Girls do it either by using one guy for resources as she cheats with other guys or by using guys as steps to climb the social and financial ladder - leaving one guy as soon as a "better" (richer or better socially connected) guy comes along.

    They key here is that they have tons of options, and the more options they have, the more likely they aren't going to be remotely faithful. Why do you think rock stars and actors and pro athletes cheat, even when they are dating/married to some of the hottest women on the planet? The answer is: because they CAN.

    And why do young, hot women date older guys (who "happen" to have millions or billions of dollars, or "happen" to be famous and socially connected): because they CAN.

    Is anyone shocked that Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston and then on Angelina Jolie? Or that Tiger Woods cheated on his Swedish model wife? If so, you're incredibly naive. You think Justin Beiber has any shortage of ultra-hot babes throwing themselves at him? Of course not, and he's going to take advantage of that, because he's young, hot, rich, famous, and so he CAN.

    If I - a nobody who isn't handsome and is relatively old - tried to date Jennifer Lawrence or Scarlett Johannson or some other hot, famous girl - or even just some ultra-hot nobody - I'd have to be worried constantly that she'd fall for some other hot guy and get with him - because she CAN.

    I don't begrudge them for doing that - and I'm smart enough to know that's the reality.
    Like 11 People
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • RainbowFanGirl
    As others have said, it has nothing to do with attractiveness. It has a LOT to do with the guy's attitude. I don't care how hot that guy is, if they are a dick then it was already a deal breaker from the start.
    Like 13 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ElissaDido
    I'm so scared of this situation lol >< I don't necessarily get attracted to the "Hottest guy" but I'm really into "Alpha" guys T_T
    Disagree 2 People
    • T_T
      I'm starting to think the red pill community is actually right, and their advice might actually be helpful. I used to think that their ideology of women loving the alpha male was just douche bag thinking, but it definitely produces results.

    • @UpperEchellon

      Its in our genes to find certain traits in the opposite gender attractive. Women find alpha males attractive because a long time ago before civil society, men had to protect women so it is only natural they find those men attractive.

  • xHoneyxBeex
    I'm very sorry this happened to you. However, I think the overall concept of this myTake is a bit misguided.

    Just because someone is attractive doesn't automatically mean they are a player who will cheat on you. Not dating someone you are attracted to because you're afraid of being cheated on says more about you than it does about them. Being insecure can end up costing you a potentially great relationship.

    Cheating in general has very little to do with looks which is why even conventionally "hot" people can be cheated on by their partner. Anyone, regardless of how attractive they are, can be a cheater. So instead of seeing a hot guy and assuming he is a 'player,' taking a closer look at his personality, values, and attitude can be much more helpful in spotting a potential cheater.

    Writing off most men because of one bad experience is irrational. Again, I'm sorry for what you experienced but not everyone cheats. There are plenty of good guys out there. Hopefully you'll be able to move on and find someone much better in the future. :)
    Like 5 People
  • Elarra
    "Why You Shouldn't Ignore The Many Red Flags He Gives You."

    Fixed your title. This story had nothing to do with a guy being hot.
    Like 10 People
  • G-Daz
    The first picture looks like the kind of guy that would happily suck his own dick given the chance.

    I think a lot of girls overlook this but it is the same for most people but surprisingly many miss this. Looks are NOT enough to maintain interest, as much as some girls may think guys are obsessed with how hot a girl looks. You ever wondered why football players may date or even marry really hot girls but the relationships never last. The reason being is they are drawn to them with looks, but once they get over it and there is not much substance to their character. there is no reason to stay other than to fuck them.

    I met so many girls that feel like the guy should initiate everything, engage and carry the conversation. Make suggestions on things to do or be spontaneous. There was a girl that was trying to date me because she found me attractive, every time we met. she'd never keep the conversation going. I quickly got bored of basically telling her stories all day and she got confused why i wasn't interested
  • AhGojira
    Lame. You went on a few dates with one guy, you've made no reference to being in a committed relationship with the one guy, and some how that turns into all good looking guys will cheat on you. You're pathetic. That's probably why he decided to date other girls...
    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • pnl86
    So, Nick is the villain in this picture because what he wanted from life at that particular moment of his life was not consistent or compatible with what she wanted at that point in her life.

    Kind of reminds me of guys who raped a girl and then had the balls to tell police that "she was a bitch" because... wait for it... she "rejected" him and wouldn't have sex with him.

    Obviously not the same, but that irrational anger and rage is similar. Really? We're going to be angry at Nick because he didn't want to commit to a girl? Oh, what a super villain! Someone call Supergirl.

    Nick has choices, and a few hearts are bound to be broken in the process. It's not in Nick's interest to "commit." Is Nick going to start a family right now? No. So, why is Nick looking to "commit"? He isn't.

    Buyer beware. Don't blame the seller for not disclosing to you what you should have been on the lookout for yourself. It's not like the girls in this picture were "in a relationship" with Nick and he "cheated" on them. They were just "dating" Nick. The whole article is completely devoid of even saying, "I thought we were" EXCLUSIVE. Nick said no such thing. The girl just assumed. Next time, don't assume. Lesson learned.

    Is that a reason to just adopt a blanket rule of NEVER dating the hot guy? Does that mean that ALL hot guys are that way throughout their entire life? No.

    It's so ironic that girls have all this anger and all these negative experiences with hot guys.. and just "fear" of hot guys.. that they'd rather get into a relationship with a less attractive guy and actively avoid hot guys.

    Who is more likely to cheat on you? The guy who has never felt the feeling of "being wanted" my "another woman" while "seeing/dating/in-a-relationship-with his gf/wife." For those guys, that feeling is magical and very tempting. For hot guys, been there, done that, no thank you. That portion of their ego is well-fed and self-esteem very satisfied. Not so for less attractive guys.

    So, if you want to shoot yourself in the foot and completely close yourself off to hot guys, be my guest. Unless, of course, you're just advocating that rule for "other women," so you can reduce the competition for hot guys. In which case, nice try. Points for trying.
    • Not that I agree with this girl. But this isn't the equivalent, nor should it even remind you of freaking rape. If it did, there is something seriously wrong with you.

    • pnl86

      @Nothanks700 thanks for biting on that low hanging white knight bait. Next time, maybe read:

      "Kind of reminds me of guys who raped a girl and then... Obviously not the same"

      Can we take our scripted auto-pilot priest/parental hat off and put our adult hat on? "OBVIOUSLY" not the same. We get it. Now that we get it, we can continue to explore the idea further without being like "OMG, are we talking about a serious sensitive subject here and making an analogy on irrational feelings of anger and rage?"

      Yes, we can, because we're adults.

      Similar to how someone can be angry, enraged and irrational in calling a girl who rejected him a "bitch," simply because "she rejected him" (i. e., didn't give him what he wanted) .. that's basically what's going on here. We're being asked to see Nick as this evil villain or bad person. Why? Because Nick didn't give some girl what she wanted. Nick is such a fucking "bitch."

  • AleDeEurope
    Sorry this happened to you, it must be an awful feeling :/
    I don't think it's because he's hot, it has nothing to do with looks, but him being a player and a douche. There's hot guys out there that are truly amazing.
    If it's too good to be true, it maybe is, but just because it looks that way, don't walk away until there's a reason to walk away, cause you may be walking away from something that is too good... and it's true.
    The last girl I was talking to (for 1 month and almost got together) did something pretty bad, and then when telling me why she did it, she said "you're to good to be true". I never gave her a reason to doubt me, but she still thought it wasn't true, so now she fucked up and will miss out.

    Just because it looks too good to be true, doesn't mean it's not gonna be true.
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    • I fully agree with you. It is easier for a hot guy to be a player, which does make it more likely that a hot guy would do something like this; but it's not because they are hot. Some men have a 'player'-mentality and a subsection of them actually manages to become one. Those are the ones to look out for.

      As you said, too good to be true doesn't always ring true

    • I agree with you. It is the kind of person the guy is, not what he looks like. I wouldn't avoid all hot guys because one happened to be a player.

    • Exactly, only defeatists have that mindset. Not all "hot" guys, are "bad" guys

  • Chico_brah
    Legit woke up this morning, read the title, started cracking up because this is just such an accurate description of how fucking autistic GAG is.
    Like 11 People
  • DarkHumorRUs
    ... and then you settle for me!

    Oh wait no you don't, you girls will just try to find Prince Charming again and the cycle will repeat.
    LikeDisagree 9 People
  • Cosytoasty
    So he did try to talk to you and text you, but you ignored him and he lost interest, understandable really.

    And he tried to win you back but not hard enough? No he just had enough self respect not to chase hard after a girl to whom he had none obligation.

    You wrote the guy off before anything had begun, you can't possibly pin this on him.
    Like 4 People
  • JohnDoe3000
    "that when a guy is too good to be true, he most likely is"

    Yep, guys will lower their standards for casual sex so women who are in a league below them can have him, for one night... and women are very susceptible to the halo effect (interpreting everything about him as positive/cute because he's hot).

    ... or he could be prince charming... but we all know that's not nearly as likely.
    Like 3 People
  • Kaazsz
    I was gonna exclaim "yes!! Date me instead!!" But I read the girls responses. I don't think you could convince them not to date hot guys even if a scientific study proved 100% of hot guys were assholes.
    Like 3 People
  • CisScum
    So it's time to date an ugly guy? DAMNNN, what a time to be alive. Ugly guys will prevail!
    Like 8 People
    • No they won't. It will be the typical song and dance, where she gets ran through by the whole football team, and then she wonders why none of them all calling them except for late night drunken booty calls.

      Then ugly mofos like yourself get the luxury of listening to them cry on your shoulders and complain that "all guys are assholes." Try to ignore the cock stench coming from her breath.

    • CisScum

      @FullOfMyself Who said I was ugly? Also why are you so bitter dude, ugly guy steal your girl or something?

    • My fault, when you're were saying "what a time to be alive," I thought you were reveling in the fact that you're ugly.

      Not bitter. It's just fun being crass.

    • Show All
  • Redstang88
    This isn't a universal rule, but something to keep in mind. As you are well aware, attractive guys have options. Many have no interest in commitment, especially around college age. No girl is going to change what we are.
    Doesn't mean he shouldn't have been honest, but it is something girls should remember.
    Like 2 People
  • ManaX
    I'm in a long term relationship with the 'hot guy', if he didn't treat you right that's unfortunate. But don't presume the way you were treated will be the same for everyone else. What you were dating was a player who also happened to be hot. Average guys play around with average women, ugly guys play around with ugly women.
  • Diamonddogz74
    I had a friend in college who was average looking at best and he cheated on his girlfriend pretty much once a week with a different girl each week. I think the moral of this story should really be that when you're in any circumstance (college, being "hot") where the availability of sex is high the likelihood of monogamy is low.
  • TacosRAwesome
    It had nothing to do with him bwing hot, apart from having a lot of options but it had everything to do with not being honest and saying he's dating others, although you should have assumed that. I'll stick to guys I find attractive and then figure out if they are assholes later. :)
    Like 2 People
    um just because one hot guy blew you off doesn't mean all hot guys are bad... you can't really generalize but do what you want just don't push it on everyone.
    Like 3 People
  • MrTheMan
    A guy who attracts a lot of female attention is far more likely to lie and cheat. Naturally, consistent affirmations of his sex appeal will set his confidence to maximum and he will believe he won't ever have to struggle to find a mate.

    The real culprit, however, is dopamine, a neurotransmitter which, among other things, stimulates the brain to emote a sense of satisfaction, a reward for perpetuating your life and the survival of your species. Your brain gets a shot of dopamine for eating when you're hungry, or having sex when you're aroused, almost anything you do that promotes the continued existence of you and your kind.

    Since the "hot guy" has an overabundance of women at his disposal, he puts little to no effort into getting whatever woman he wants, and so effortlessly indulges the primal urge to procreate and then rewarded with the feel-good sensation we get from dopamine. He's been getting his "reward" often enough that his brain has become dependent on his own neurotransmitter to keep up his mood, and like any addict, he'll resort to almost anything to get his fix; in this case, he will suspend his empathy and move on to the next prospect as soon as his current "drug" of choice starts to lose its potency.

    In a sense, one could argue that such a guy is a victim of his own physiology under a social circumstance. People generally don't think of this behavior as a chemical dependency disorder, more like a case of "douche-baggery". But still, drug addicts can choose to fight their addiction, often they need a moment of clarity, to see the damage they're causing, before they make that choice.
  • Donanski
    I thought this was going to be a he was just acting nice to me but turned out to be gay in the end story. Oh well, just because this happened to you with one hot guy it doesn't mean that all hot guys are like that.
    Like 1 Person
  • redeyemindtricks
    So... What I mostly took from this take, is that (a) you don't assert yourself AT ALL, and (b) you're pretty much willing to let guys walk all over you... and then you're surprised when they do.

    I mean...
    Were you even in a committed relationship with this guy?
    College is college. People fuck around a lot. If I were you, I would NEVER assume an exclusive relationship, until this is EXPLICITLY articulated.
    (This is good advice for *after* college, too.)

    Also --
    It seems like HE correctly judged YOU as the type of girl who would deal with betrayal by... keeping quiet, tucking yr tail between yr legs, and walking away without making a scene.
    And he was 100% RIGHT.

    Do you WANT to be that kind of girl?

    You don't need to be a total drama queen, but... Girl! Learn to be a bitch, at the right time in the right place.
    If you can't be a bitch -- when necessary -- then you're always going to be someone else's bitch.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • Yup! Just be a bitch and somehow that makes everything better. Save your breath dumbass!

      Personally, I never get into a pointless argument with people who betray my trust. I just cut them out of my life ASAP and I don't look back. That's exactly what the OP did. She did the right thing.

    • @castratedwhiteguy
      "Save your breath dumbass!"

      ^^ Classy!

      Although you do live up to yr username, at least.

    • My username is very tongue in cheek. Your original comment wasn't very classy either. Better to just walk away from an immoral person. You'll never guilt shame a narcissistic scumbag, so why waste your time?

  • BiscuitesSwag
    I don't think it's about being hot, but by whether he is an asshole or not.
    Like 6 People
  • llorando
    And the ultimate reason you should never date a hot guy.
    Like 4 People
  • ProbablyTooMature
    So, while I'm attractive, I'm not "the hot guy"... but this post is bullshit. I know as many unattractive "players" as I do attractive. This might as well say "Why to not date guys" for all the sweeping generalizations here.
    Like 2 People
  • pooper89
    Thats typical for a good looking college guy. Not all good looking guys aspire to be players though. And I can attest to that because I have known a few.

    I kind of agree with redeyemindtricks in that you shouldn't have kept quiet. When you saw him in the car with that girl, that was your chance to call his bluff and completely humiliate him. Ruining his date in the process. Can't say he wouldn't have deserved it.
  • DodgersGM
    There's a big problem here. The perfect person (perfect for us that is... not literally perfect) are always gonna seem 'too good to be true.' Are you gonna dismiss all of them based on one douche's behavior?
  • FakeName123
    There is a difference between the very hot and the very attractive guys (same principle for very sexy and very attractive girls).

    Once you figured that difference you know who to be interested in - since the very hot guys (or very sexy girls) are usually the ones who are good at playing the field.
    Disagree 2 People
  • Sephora_Addict
    My mom always told me to never date a good looking guy, because he's considered a stranger. He belongs to every girl, every girl wants him and he knows it. Go for the ones that are below average or average you're sure to be happier with them.
    Like 2 People
  • mikemx55
    Well, he probably has tons of girls throwing themselves at him.. can you blame him?

    YOLO why would he stick to just one, when he can have whatever he wants?
    Seems tempting.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • FemaleAssassin
    EXACTLY! that is why i despise good looking men even though some might not be as u described, but surely most are! But hey, i'm a good looking girl too so the intimidation won't be one sided at all ;)
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • Mrwoo99
    That's how god punishes women when they reject good caring loyal nice guys for tall jacked douchbags and pretty boy players.
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    • Spelling95


    • Mrwoo99

      @Spelling95 Look at all those down votes lol women absolutley hate the truth.

    • Spelling95

      Does the asker sound like she was rejecting nice guys that weren't studs for a douchebag? She had no clue he was a douchebag, and left him alone as soon as she had an inkling.
      Take a gander at the subreddit niceguys, they are not so nice.

    • Show All
  • front2back
    This was either written by a dude with a girl account or by a girl who would rather spend her life with a vibrator only.
    LikeDisagree 8 People
  • bubbletrouble
    Sorry about your experience but there's plenty of hot guys that are genuinely sweet. I used to think like you because a lot of hot guys are supremely arrogant. Anyways try hot Catholic guys.
    Like 3 People
  • JSmuve
    So that's why girls aren't stepping over themselves to get with me. They read this Take and aren't dating the hot guy. Must be too attractive for them then. Thanks for clarifying.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • fueledbythc
    For some weird reason I attract a lot of women's attention. I get a lot of girls looking at me and getting all shy and nervous as well as a lot of genuine smiles and blushing. I'm not physically attractive and I try to come across as neutral.
  • Saoirse_Nua
    I just hope there might some decent "Hot" guys out there. I try not think of girls/women as types but individuals so I will judge each person as I meet them.
    Like 1 Person
  • Xbox720guy
    I don't think him being hot is the issue, I have a friend who is considered hot and he treats girls with respect.
    Like 6 People
  • Melissa4
    Story of my life.
    That's a really nice topic for myTakes.
    I wish too that my ex would have been honest to me. And that caused a negative opinion of mine over the hot guys.
    Like 1 Person
  • CorvetteGirl
    I tried dating the super hot guy but he turned out to be a joke.
    Now I have to wonderful boyfriend who in my mind is the hottest guy ever. And my neighbor who's 16 is attractive yes but a complete jerk.
    Why are so many hot guys like that?
    Like 1 Person
    • singlebee

      Cause they have many options

    • @singlebee what does that mean?

    • coolchick4

      Basically they can get any girl they want which for some hot guys gives them a massive ego.

    • Show All
  • Ratiocinative
    I have an idea. Let's blame an entire group of people for the actions of a few. That'll really make things better.
    Like 1 Person
  • Blonde401
    TBH even the mediocre looking guys behave like this 😒
    Like 2 People
  • Unesjomajo
    Titel should be;
    "Why you should never date guys, cause theyre all the same"

    Nice take tho :)
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • Djaaaaaay

      Who are you dating now?

    • Mrwoo99

      Am pretty sure there was a good caring loyal nice guy you turned down the other day?

    • @Djaaaaaay She's dating a person with a penis, but it doesn't identify as a man, therefore, it's not a "guy".

    • Show All
  • Jesenia
    He is not too good to be true. He is just an handsome man who acts like a teen. Well, first year in college that's normal. You need to have self conf. At leasr don't be afraid of men like that
    Like 1 Person
  • Bvroon
    Ha, outside of the fact that I'm very married, I'm perfect dating material, as I am completely not hot ;-)
  • Unit1
    OK 2 moments:

    1. Your mytake title is poor because:
    1.1 Who wants to date unattractive or ugly people?
    1.2 People being bad have as much to do with their attractiveness as the color blue tastes like drum-beats. Although the likelihood of it's relevance is slightly higher.

    2. It's good, that you got out when you realized, that he was a "player". But do not brand an entire group of (attractive) men as bad just because you've had bad experience with 1 of them.

    Anyway, sorry for your losses. It's good, that you kept your guard up when you could and picked on the suspicions.
    Like 4 People
  • Nothanks700
    Any guy can do this, although I guess it's easier for more attractive guys, it doesn't make all attractive guys behave like this. But hey, if you want to date not super hot guys, more power to you
  • Nuala
    I don't think this necessarily means all good looking guys are bad but I get your point.
    Sorry that happened to you.
    Like 2 People
  • Joe1997
    I am not gonna say if I agree with you or not. It takes a lot more to judge a guy than just his "hot".

    Personally, I do naturally stay away from "hot guy" or never think they can pay attention on me. Quite weird but "being hot" is actually a slight disadvantage for someone who want to make a move on me.

    There are hot guys did actually pay attention on me. (It was hard to make me believe that) I unconciously built some distance. However, the true reason is I am not attracted by their personality (not because they are hot).
    Like 1 Person
  • StewieRH
    I think it's unfair to say all attractive guys are like that, but it seems there are a lot of guys like that and I'm sorry that happened to you, it's good you found out sooner rather than later though. Guys like that? Well they aren't worth your time, hot or not, they shouldn't treat you like that.

    Hopefully you be more careful in future and find a genuine nice guy to be with. Judge on actions rather than words. Even the nice guys aren't perfect, no one is, but they at least treat you with love and respect.

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there with Nick, I hope you do find a nice guy to be with who treats you with the love and respect you deserve
    Like 1 Person
  • inceptin951
    Haha I've had the same experience with hot girls. In fact I literally had a similar situation happen to me today. The difference between you and I is I learned in high school after dating several hot girls that when they inevitably do that to you, you can't let it hurt you.

    You have to let it go because they certainly don't spend any time thinking about you. And I'm not even a bad-looking guy but some people are born practically perfect and its near impossible to compete with them. When they get old and their looks fade, good people like us who get married to other decent people will be the ones who are happier than them I can tell you that. So don't let it get to you.
    Like 2 People