So I'm 25 years old and have never been in a serious relationship but the closest I've felt to being in a relationship, I ended up being used as a rebound and it was a learning experience for sure.
The best analogy I can make for dating a rebounder is like playing with fire. It can be exciting but if you're not careful then you'll get burned and I defintely got burned. My biggest problem was that going in, I was very naive. I knew the girl just got out of a rough relationship but I didn't know what rebounds were and how they worked. Considering my friends have gotten into relationships shortly after ones ended, I didn't think much of it. I was also having an extended dry spell and just played it by ear, seeing where it goes.
1. The rebounder is still hurt and still has unresolved feelings for their ex.
If your date constantly brings up his/her ex, especially in a negative way and bashes them, then they are not over them. This girl didn't bring up her ex until I told her what high school I went to and she revealed that her on and off ex of 4 years(now boyfriend) went to the same school and talked about how he's the biggest piece of shit, never wants to see him again, etc. She even went as far as saying that she'd tell him she's with a cooler guy now (me) and asked me to make fun of him for his babydick in case we ran into him. I used that babydick comment against her when she got back with him.
Plus when you date someone new, it's about starting fresh. When I date new girls, I don't bring the rebounder or other girls that have done me wrong because it's not a good topic and I don't wanna hear about their exes anymore than they want to hear about mine.
2. They don't want you, they NEED you.
No matter how much interest they show in you, it's not because they want you but because they need you. Chances are you were the person they thought were decent looking enough for now until they find someone better in their mind or the ex. Essentially you're just a transition boy/girl and it's very selfish on their part. It's more about what's in it for them then the both of you. This can also falsely prop your ego and self esteem. You're thinking how can someone want me so bad that quick. It feels good to be wanted that bad by someone you really like but if they're moving really quick and they act like you're their boyfriend/girlfriend then it's not for the right reasons. After they leave you, all the things they said that you thought were genuine were just their way of manipulating you so they can either get sex or get they attention and affection they desire. This girl also asked to go to my house on the first date and was scoping out family photos and even messaged me for another date the next day and said she wanted to make out again. This made me feel that she was comfortable with meeting family so when I asked her about coming to my house for dinner, things went downhill and it really fucked with my head.
3. If it's too good to be true then it is.
I started talking to her off POF for a few weeks and she beat me to it by asking me for my number and when we're gonna meet up so that made me feel that she was really interested. She also called and texted me every day until we met up, even bugged me to talk when I told her I was out with friends or going to bed. We even had a ton of common interests, shared political views and outlooks on life, and could talk about anything endlessly. This caused me to focus on the good parts and it overshadowed what was really going on. From my perspective though, I had only had hookups and a few dates that didn't go anywhere because there was only physical attraction and no common interests. I felt relieved to find a girl who simultaneuously had a ton in common in addition to being very physically attractive. I also overlooked major red flags such as complaining about the ex and sending me nudes before we met in person. Doing that cost me dearly. It's like a sales job scam, sounds amazing from the beginning but once you're in you realize there's more issues than usual.
4. They'll leave you for the ex or someone they think is better.
One of two things, maybe both will happen. If they're still not over the ex, they will jump back with them once they contact the ex or see them again. If not getting back with the ex then they'll go for someone who they think is better and they realize they didn't like you as much as they thought, no matter how much interest they showed. It's even worse when they go back to the ex like in my situation because that means they were never over the ex and they make you feel like you're inferior to the ex. Even when I called her out when she got back with the ex by using the babydick remark, telling her how she used me, she just victimized herself like the cunt she is and said I'm being a jealous asshole and how I need to move on. She also ruined her ex for me, because I was an acquaintence of his in high school and my brothers are close to him and his family. While her ex, now boyfriend, didn't do anything to me, I still would rather not talk to him because of the rebounder using me to get back at him. When she told me how abusive he was, it made me feel bad for her and I'd try to be the opposite. All that did was push her away further. What really pissed me off was after the girl ditched me, not only did she start seeing the ex but she also had the nerve to make a facebook status saying "why can't I find any nice guys with tattoos? Is that too much to ask for?" like nothing happened between us.
5. You may end up in their shoes after it's over.
Being rebounded fucked with my head so much that because it came as quickly as it ended and the rebounder left without any explanation, I was left to pick up the pieces and wondered if she'd come back. I over analyzed nearly everything and wondered what was wrong with me, whether it was my inexperience or that I moved too fast. But her moving too fast caused me to move fast. It made my life more stressful and depressed that I didn't enjoy a lot of my regular interests, especially ones me and her shared that for a few months, I was looking for someone, nearly anyone and I ended up meeting a girl who I was physically attracted to and had things in common but the emotions weren't there. I thought ok she's interested now I can move on, all it did was make me want her more. I mean while I did have sex with the girl, it did help but I still found myself wanting to be with the rebounder more than her. Even when I dated others afterwards, it'd help temporarily but when it didn't work out with them, the rebounder would come back to my mind and made me think that the only time a girl would seemingly want a relationship with me is because she's on the rebound. It took me longer to get over the rebounder than other girls it didn't work out with afterwards.
So basically, never date anyone on the rebound, especially if you've never had a relationship. It can fuck up your perspective on relationships. I thought having a long dry spell before dating the rebounder was bad, but being rebounded was 1000 times worse. Once emotions get involved, more issues will happen. Besides while breakups are rough, the person needs time to heal and be 100% emotionally available when starting with someone new.