Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

Definition: A nice guy is an informal term for an (often young) adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively.

Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

1. I don't need a pushover

There is nothing wrong with giving a man direction and then having him learn how a woman likes to be treated in a relationship. But if this man has no self identity and just allows himself to be walked all over by everyone in his life, I don't need a pushover. A man that can handle his own and take care of his woman, is what helps him be a man.

Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

2. If he is more sensitive than I, no thanks

Nothing wrong with a man who cries. But if every joke that I make ends up with the man crying, or hurt... I may have to rethink who is the woman in the relationship.

Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

3. I don't want a man who needs me to dictate his life

I don't have to tell my man what to do and how to do it. A man who is able to take care of himself and support me will know what are the best life choices to make in order to accommodate the relationship.

Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

4. Emotional support versus emotional dependence

Again, if my man cannot recognize that I am not the only source of happiness that he needs to have, then that relationship will turn to one of emotional dependence.

Why I'm NOT Gonna Date A Nice Guy!

5. Clinginess

If I can't go out with friends or have my own hobbies, then a man like that certainly shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.


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amandaschwartz is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You gotta stop listening to the Internet. Bitter women have made being a nice guy to be this bad.
    Being nice doesn't make you a pushover or clingy, it just makes you nice. I guess calling you a bitch and slapping you for not adding ketchup to the sandwich sounds more appealing.

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    • Lol dude remember this is the same woman who dated a 56 year old guy and dated him with children.

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    • @HaveQuestions LMAO right? I think people just come to her posts for the laughs xD

    • Fair enough ☺

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can be a really nice guy.. but also a really tough stubborn person who does not let anyone walk over them or get the better of them though :)
    obviously no one wants a door mat but you can be a nice person and not let others walk over you... its like that saying don't mistake kindness with weakness..

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What Guys Said 57

  • Don't confuse a nice guy with a NiceGuy (tm). The difference is the latter is a weak guy who thinks he can use friendship and 'manners' as a sneaky pack door into a woman's panties. The former, however is a genuinely decent human being who is also male.
    I'm a nice guy. I run a nonprofit. But I am able to do that because I started a number of successful businesses over the years, sold some, and still have a vested interest in others. I could not have done this were I an overly-sensitive pushover with no direction or if I looked to any other human being for my own emotional fulfillment.
    That doesn't mean I'm a jerk, either. I built up my business by building up people. I found people who were loyal, tenacious, and shared my vision, and I groomed them and positioned them for success in my organization, and watched the organization grow because they were there. Sharing my success is the secret of my success.
    Say what you want about NiceGuys.
    But don't cry when you find out that a genuine nice guy... wouldn't date you.

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  • So what part of this take was about nice guys because as far as I can tell you have not mentioned one trait of a nice guy. You clearly have no idea what the term nice means, nice: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. If you don't want a guy who is pleasent to be around or respectful that is your choice no one has or will stop you. The only reason why its a big deal is because women are constantly lying about it. They say they want a nice guy but then run off with the asshole but then insist that they want a nice guy but not that nice guy because he isn't really nice even though everything he does is consistent with the definition of nice. Its the fact that women lie about what they want and then blame men when they get irritated because of being lied to as well as insisting that they really do want that nice guy as they quite literally jump from one asshole to another. If you want some one who treats you like shit go for it clearly you believe you deserve it and who am I to argue with you because after all you know you better then I do. However do not claim that being spineless is being nice because its not. I am a very nice guy I care about people and I want people to be happy. I also have more control over my emotions then probably any one you have ever intereacted with up to and including all the "assholes" you have probably dated (in my experience its the assholes who are the most emotional as they are over compensating for their insecurities. Ironic that women see that as strength when the guys who are not insecure are viwed as "weak".). I am not a door mat and have been criticised by other men even for not bending over backwards for women when they need something. So yeah, your definition of nice does not fit the actual definition of the word or how most human beings use the word. But to each their own.

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  • Honestly though, neither of these things have to apply to a nice person at all.

    I been generally always been called nice (although dont know if I really myself that way, but judging by others opinion anyway, I fall into the "nice guy" thing.

    1. Never been a pushover, if anything people always liked me for my spine rather.

    2. I often been as a robot, lol. Never display much emotions, people can never tell anyway, on my face or behavior, if im sad, angry, happy etc.

    3. I wouldn't wanna be with anyone who tried to dictate or control my life, but a typical thing too sort of, people often mistake niceness for weakness.

    4. People always been way more emotional dependant on me than the other way around. Nobody needs to stay with me, be my friend etc out of pity or anything. If I even claim such a thing that I care or love someone, naturally I would want whats best for them, even if that means I will have no part in their life.

    5. Always encouraged that, its just good to have hobbies or your own things to do or have fun with, is again only good.

    Even if neither of these things apply to me, people like me would be ruled out then, alhough im screwed up personally so that is just good in my case, lol. But someone better than me anyway who is also just simply nice and dosent have these traits.

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    • wow I can't type as always, funny enough skipped the word "see" twice, my brain is trying to tell me im going blind, lol

  • @amandaschwartz is a young woman who is sufficiently self aware that she admits that she prefers the bad boys.
    For that, I have to respect her.
    @amandaschwartz is about four years away from the age at which the carousel riders have the epiphany that the bad boys are not husband material.
    At that point, she will announce that she is 'ready for a good man'.
    She will raise her head above the level of the reeds in the swamp, look around and then ask 'what happened to the good men', or 'where did the good men go'.
    The answer will be that she rejected the good men during the preceding 15 years.
    A significant number of these good men will have given up on women and walked away. This will include men who have gone MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
    Other good men will have paired with the minority of women who did not want the exciting bad boys.
    The result will be that there will be a hell of a lot more single women who are looking for partners than there will be single men who will be interested in interacting with women.
    At that point, @amandaschwartz will likely look back at her previous views and actions (she is sufficiently self aware and intelligent to do that) and realise that she has stuffed up big time.
    Until she comes to that conclusion by herself, nobody is going to be believed if they try to tell her.

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  • That's not a nice guy. A nice guy are guys who are not going to kick you when you are down. They won't back stab you when you are careless. They might remind you what you missed if they feel helpful.

    Here are some examples:

    You are asking for help.

    Not a nice guy: I trick you and rob you blind. Or get you drunk and rape you. Or maybe rope you into some scheme you can't get out of while I enjoy my advantages over you.

    Neutral guy: I will help but only if you offer me something I wouldn't get by robbing you right now. Probably start sex then if I feel like it, I will help.

    Nice guy: I help if I can. But I won't take advantage of you.

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  • That's not a nice guy. That's a self-respectless doormat by definition.

    But if you are not going to date the nice guys, then I cannot see you having the right to complain in the future about your terrible past relationships since you stand in your own way of having successful relationships. Next MyTake: I hate men. I will be so wait for it and watch you complaining how all men are inherently evil *grabs popcorn*. 😈👐👏👐👏👐👏

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    • True. I guess I see it as a function. You start at the same place everyone does with me, then your "trend line" of respect either increases or decreases bases on your "being a decent human being in the world" axis. Some things tank it, really far and really fast.
      Like willfully leaving a trail of destruction and pain inflicted on others in your wake.

    • @HaveQuestions Many do not care about respect but they care about themselves only or what does benefit them.
      My respect has to be earned in earnest ways. It can't be bought with money.

  • so lets get this straight. you not only took the definition of NICE guy out of context and gave it your definition but you also have a mytake talking about how you cheated on multiple men, found the right one and then wrote another mytake of how you dumped the ''right one''. you are the last person to talk about the wrong type of relationships. you are the most scummiest of them all and you are at the bottom of the food chain of dating. you dont even deserve this or anyone for that matter. I hope you grow old alone with 6 cats

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  • I totally get why u wouldn't want to date a guy with those traits.

    Overall, most women want a guy with primal masculine traits of physical/mental strength, the ability to protect, etc. Most women crave this innately.

    Us males need to ignore these anti-masculine social constructs and get back to embodying our inner hunter. The world itself will be better for it, for both men and women.

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  • stop listening to the idle chatter and the other voices in your head and what friends think and have the idealistic of what the stereotype is. You date what you think is the right fit for you.

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    • That gold digger prank video reeks of 100% being staged. The tank is real but both of them look like planned actors.

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    • @Unit1 P. S. The new update is shit

    • You make no sense with your tank stories. I know the moral of the story. Check my comment if you haven't already.

      Dude. By now I am not surprised that this website goes to sh*t after every once in a while. They are not moving towards improvements but the opposite is true.

      This particular update is indifferent for me.

  • OMG, What fucking ever. Just do it and stop telling us about it

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  • Geez... they've turned out a whole crop of girlie-men haven't they? [shrug]

    I'm going to recommend you date up in age a bit, maybe five or ten. They're smarter, more accomplished, have more money, are better in bed, and know how to treat you. Just don't be chasing the serial pump-and-dumper. And just make sure they're not already married. :)

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    • Amen on the marriage thing..

    • Agree, she's 27 so if she's dating a 32 year old the chances are likely that he will have accomplished more in his life by... dun dun dun... being older.

  • The traits that you described are not a part of being a "nice guy" what you have described is an immature pushover. A nice guy is someone who treats women with respect and is considerate of others feeling.

    1. A pushover is someone who is unable/willing to stand up for themselves, this has nothing to do with a man being kind, they are entirely irrelevant to each other.

    2. Sensitivity is not what you are describing, it's insecurity. If a man cannot take a joke at his expense without crying he is insecure in whatever matter the joke pertained to.

    3, 4, & 5. Again you are describing immaturity not "nice guys" if a man puts you in full control of his life he clearly doesn't have one, or at least doesn't have the maturity to manage his own life. I feel as though your definition of a nice guy is entirely based on him being a weak person, which is wholly inaccurate.

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  • okay, i think really nice guys are pretty dope tough.
    i mean standup nice guys. forsome reason, i think of krillin, lol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTvstyG4usE

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  • dont worry nice guys go for the nice sweet girls anyways. and that obviously doesn't fit your description. its always going to be the player types for the girls like you.

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  • You hit the nail on the head on all five points. Women like men that can be bring fire and spice and push boundaries from time to time. Nice guys won't dare to push things to the edge because of fear and low confidence. I'm a very nice person, but I have a wild side to balance me out.

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  • Why do you think a guy who is clingy, needs dictation and is emotionally too sensitive is considered Nice?
    I dont agree with your definition of nice guy, a guy who is successful, is good looking, knows what he wants in life and gets as well, yet never crosses his boundaries both legally or morally, wouldn't that be considered a nice guy?

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    • Sure but there are fake 'nice guys'. The ones that use their 'niceness' are a crutch. i. e "I'm nice go out with me!" "Feel sorry for me!" "Why doesn't anyone like me? I'm so nice!" They do things for people (usually those they are romantically or sexually interested in) to get something from them. Even if the other person doesn't even WANT anything from them. Then if they don't get what they want it's the end of the world... If they had the confidence or looks to get what they wanted they wouldn't be nearly as 'nice'. I've saw this happen before with the time with a chubby 'nice guy' who lost weight and then dumped his very sweet but slightly overweight (not as big as he was) girlfriend for someone hotter. Meanwhile she had stayed with him for YEARS when he was obese.

    • *this one time. Not with the time.. haha wtf.

  • This is why I hate being called a nice guy bc it makes me feel inferior and has a negative connotation. My female friends always say girls want nice supportive and decsisive guys once the explain further but then refer to me as a nice guy. I don't need that negative attachment

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  • You'd be surprised what nice guys when you get to know them where all not the damn same I don't let no woman step over me I don't get how this crap started but it sure as ain't completely true

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  • ''A nice guy is someone who treats others with respect rather than just barging around trying to get his own way.''

    That guy you described is a push over... big difference.

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  • That sounds more like a brain dead overclingy girl than a "nice guy".

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  • Who cares? I would rather date a dog than date a woman like you anyway.

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  • Well, it is refreshing to see a woman say the truth clearly instead of bullshitting about "be nice to her and you'll win her heart!"

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  • What makes women so special that she gets to cry more than him? What about you supporting him? Maybe he wants a woman that knows how to support him.

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  • this is completely wrong and not the definition of a nice guy haha. I almost laughed out loud. this is society's definition maybe? agreed with the doormat definition.

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  • I think part of the problem, and what's appealing about bad boys is that sex is still subconsciously seen as "bad" or "naughty" a hangover from religious morality, and so bad boys have sex appeal whereas nice guys seem dull in comparison.

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  • You know there is a difference between a genuinely nice guy and a push over.

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  • yes some guys are like what you mentioned above but just because they are nice does not mean they are push over.

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  • Well, uuh..
    1. Nice guy doesn't spell push-over.. a nice guy can be a push over and a push over nice guy.. But there are nice guys out there who know that the line is drawn somewhere.. I'm still learning..
    2. Please, that's a sensitive guy.. I'mma nice dude, and I love joking and banter.. Come at me with the jokes..
    3, I'mma nice guy, but I'm also a grown man.. I cannot stand when people treat me like a kid who needs hand holding.. So, I don't need somebody telling me of my life choices.. Heh.
    4. I don't want any human being to be the main source of my happiness.. Cause in the end, we disappoint each other..
    5. Well, that's just a desperate or lonely guy, not really a nice guy.. Lol..

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  • a nice guy ain't like that, what you've described is a guy who was abused and controlled as a child a a female

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What Girls Said 14

  • i agree with all of your points, but you've obviously got nice guys confused with something else.

    a nice guy isn't a pushover, clingy, etc. he's a genuine, compassionate person who treats you like a human being and cares about your needs... but people who confuse that with being a pushover are often the first ones to complain that "all men are jerks".

    kindness is not weakness, and i wish more people understood that.

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  • How are you even an editor? Are you seriously trying to convince GAG that it's okay to be a cheater and that nice guys are doormats?

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  • I don't think they're that bad honestly but to what I see they generally only fell for the one who have problem or the one who's a bit bitchy.
    Too for me a nice guy is someone supportive, who do all he can to make people he love happy, always there when needed, gentlemen and the one parents prefer.
    What you describe sound more like a loser push over than a nice guy.

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  • "Nice guys" are mostly self centered assholes who believe they are obligated to sex, they'll say they're nice one second and call you a bitch the next. They're the worst kind of men and they don't know how to be humble or kind.
    A truly good man will not brag about how "nice" he is but show it instead, and he won't get all butthurt and upset when he is told "no" but accept it and move on.

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  • Preach it!! You're so right on this. I'm with a guy who treats me with respect but isn't a 'nice guy' like you describe. And I'm in complete love with him!❤️

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  • This is silly. Anybody, nice or not, can possess these traits

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  • Good more for me.

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  • You sound shallow as hell

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  • wtf pushovers, clingy guys, crybabies ≠ nice guys

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  • Nice guys are disgusting.

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  • I agree with everything you wrote!

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  • this is not nice guy

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  • if he's ugly no thanks. if he's hot like the first guy in the pic then yeah

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    • LOL so you don't care if he lets you walk all over him as long as he is hot.

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    • @guysaskgirls555 yeah, if you're hot it doesn't matter if you are bad boy asshole or a nice guy wuss.

    • @timidmale Do not worry she will change her tune once she becomes a single mom.

  • LOL...

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