Cheating isn't right by any means, and I know I'm guilty. However, it made me learn a lot about myself. I hope this helps others.
Lack of self confidence
I lacked self confidence in a big way. Although men would tell me i'm attractive, I didn't necessarily see myself that way. I had acne, which I covered up with makeup, and I was terrified of being alone. Spending time with different men made me feel like I had value, as my self worth was reliant on what other people said versus how I felt inside.
I haven't found the right guy
Up until I met my current boyfriend, it never felt right with other guys. Although I was dating them, no one really caught my heart, and although their company was nice, it was never sufficient for me to stop my ways. That's how I knew I found the man for me, when cheating became so unattractive.
I try to compensate for what I want by dating many men
I found traits in different men that I liked and dated them all. Instead of finding one men with all traits, I was bouncing back and forth seeking what I wanted/needed in many suitors. This was unhealthy and certainly a place that was a dark part of my life.
I don't believe the man is genuine/invested
People question my moral compass. Well here is my perspective. In this day and age, there are many con artists, manipulators and players out there. I sensed that the men I was dating were somewhat disingenuous and not invested, in my eyes. Perhaps it was my lack of trust or the unwillingness to get hurt emotionally that stunted my ability to act in a righteous manner.
I've been hurt before and this has desensitized me
I was hurt before by a guy that I dated for many years. I carried that pain with me, and although I may have forgiven him, I certainly didn't forget. It was easy for me to just be cold and do what felt good for me at the time versus the right thing in general.