Today, with dating apps, there is so much pressure and a lack of patience when it comes to developing a connection with someone within days or even hours of even knowing that person even existed. If that connection doesn’t exist or doesn’t develop within an hour of meeting the other person, that person is instantly written off. It’s very artificial and forced - a romantic connection is something that can’t be forced.
It’s a common thread I’ve noticed when it comes to forming romantic relationships in the modern age, for both men and women: you go on a couple of dates with someone and one person disappears on or rejects the other on the basis of “not feeling it” and any interaction ends. The process then repeats with the next person, and the next, and so on in a never-ending cycle of toxicity. It’s not good for anyone and it’s little wonder people lose hope. I can see why people get frustrated too.
Maybe I’m old-fashioned but whatever happened to actually getting to know a person you’ve just met, becoming friends with them and then letting a romantic connection develop on the basis of that? What happened to the saying that a good friendship forms the basis of a good relationship? This literally can’t happen within an hour of first meeting a person (unless you’re down right infatuated with each other) - for most, this takes time to happen and develop. It doesn’t need to be love at first sight (it very rarely is) which online dating reinforces. Have some patience and let that love develop and grow. Almost all of my friends who are in long-term relationships, are engaged or are married, started out initially with their SO’s as long-term friendships where they enjoyed doing things together.
If you have just met someone but aren’t feeling a connection with them after a few dates, BUT you have things in common, you enjoy spending time and doing things together AND there are no obvious red flags: give each other chance and get to know each other and hang out together AS FRIENDS. After a while, THEN look at whether a romantic connection can develop from that friendship.
Don’t write each other off in a romantic sense after only a few dates as who knows, you both could well be missing out on the best relationship you’ve ever had if you do so.
What Girls & Guys Said
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2Opinion
Amen and this is the truth. It is just as easy to fall out of lust in 3 months as it is to grow into something hot.
If I like spending time with someone, and i think he is attractive there is a connection.
But If I don't like spending time with someone, I wouldn't force myself to see them.
I might need to get to know someone more in order to like them more but when he already showed me on the first date that he is not what I'm looking for so another date would be pointless.
If your not feeling it as a man, don't waste the time.