Relationships

Giving Second Chances in a Romantic Relationship

Before I talk about giving someone a 2nd chance in a relationship I will say that not every situation deserves a 2nd chance. If you have been physically, mentally and emotionally abused then you leave and get help and ensure your safety, you should not go back to that type of toxic and harmful relationship.

Giving Second Chances in a Romantic Relationship

We all have different mindsets so it's important to accept that what one person will forgive that perhaps another person won't. We should not judge or interfere in the decision made by someone we are close to unless of course that person is in danger of being physically harmed.

Adults are quite capable of making their own decisions and just because we might not agree with what they have chosen does not mean it is a wrong choice. If it turns out to be a wrong choice then that's their lesson in life to learn and grow from, not yours.

I made a decision to give my partner a 2nd chance. To those few friends and family that know the reasons behind the initial split may perhaps find it difficult to understand why I made such a decision. They don't need to understand why, they just need to accept it. My partner is a wonderful person with so many beautiful qualities but yes he is flawed and he isn't perfect, he made a mistake because he was scared of what I might think and that frightened him because he thought he would lose me, so he kept a secret, a big one. And in the end he did lose me not because of what he was hiding, because he kept a secret and that to me is a form of a lie, I instantly felt I could not trust him. I felt like I didn't know the person I had fully shared my life with on so many levels for the past 8 months. He was devastated and so was I.

After 4 weeks apart he has been able to see the changes he needs to make to have a healthy lifestyle and he wants that more than anything. His words are actions and he has done quite a lot of work and made some massive changes in this area the last few weeks. As I do love him and can see his actions in motion and his sincerity and genuineness, I am supporting him with these changes.

I believe he is doing all he can to be a better person and better partner and I feel he deserves a second chance to redeem himself. We are now working on getting back the trust in our relationship and the foundation we have started off on this time is very open and honest with a lot of love.

I can't predict the future, I can only live in the here and now and take each day as it comes, I may end up living a long and happy life with this man or it may not work out, nobody knows what the future holds but without the 2nd chance who would ever know?

Giving Second Chances in a Romantic Relationship

I do know one thing though and this time I am taking this relationship a lot slower. The reality is that my partner now needs to work to regain my trust, that's his job. Mine is to somehow find a way to begin trusting again. There is no quick fix, it's a situation that is only going to come with time and actions. Looking back on the relationship before the split I can actually see that I was over investing quite a bit in the relationship. I was giving more than I was receiving and working so hard to make it work. This time I feel that I can take a step back, I'm not over investing anymore, I'm not feeling anxious in any way, I wake up each day and I am leaning back a little letting him come to me more, allowing him to see where he needs to make an effort, giving him the chance to also give and for me to also receive. I won't over invest this time.

Giving Second Chances in a Romantic Relationship
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