Dating

Yet another, and likely better satire of that "Ladies Man" series by APope16.

Confessions of a Loser: Why I am a Man and Single (Proud to be a Loser! :D )

This guy? Josh Cribbs. Total Nerd. Aka loser I guess. Look it up.
This guy? Josh Cribbs. Total Nerd. Aka loser I guess. Look it up.

(https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1145640-the-10-biggest-nerds-in-the-nfl )


As a "loser" I have spoken to very few women over the course of my life. Maybe I'll satire up this dude's take on single women too. (cause damn, this is fun :D)

I have been holding my breath and tongue for awhile about you men out there. (and I huff and puff with EXTRAORDINARY amounts of British irritation SIRS!) I have had few women come to me. In general. I feel the need to support my fellow "loser" men not even worthy of a high quality woman-...... wait...... men have to be "worth" a woman? Like, a woman, existing..... has value?

OK, Pepe Le Pew, whatever ya say :D

That you Apope16? lolz
That you Apope16? lolz


I Don't Take Care of Yourself

Shame on me for playing video games instead of watching football. And also for having acne. (ShAaAmE) I should take a shower and put on some manly old spice. I should mell like a MAN, man!

I FUCKING LOVE HIM! (hands off gals, hes fuckin MINE!)
I FUCKING LOVE HIM! (hands off gals, he's fuckin MINE!)


No Hobbies in Common

A lot of women are sick and tired of looking at small dick guys holding giant dead fish in their profiles. (and then there are women with a fisherman fetish? Hello? Fish lovers put your hookers in the air and shake up n down like you just don't care! (lol that pun worked well) :D )

"I get it. You are a man." (Why thanks APope, I thought I was a genderless fish! :D) "But take up an interest in something that brings you both together!" (video games? manga? lotta girls love that. Js.) Get a bit metrosexual. (gay?) Art, wine tasting, fashion, music, writing. (yup, gay. he is literally saying..... in order to get GIRLS..... to be more gay :D )


"You Have No Life"

(ya know that they say, "no game, no life." (anime fans, you're welcome :D ) )

(I mean I am ALIVE am I not?) Get off the couch. (I'm in BED asshole, there's a difference!) Do more than play video games 16 hours per day dude! (I only play them for 12, lay off!) Have a life she wants to be a part of! (ya mean as my cosplayin' soulmate? kay :D)


"Most men have Embarrassing Fashion" (HMPH! SOOO INSULTING!)

EmBaRrEsSiNg (@apope SHAME on you!)
EmBaRrEsSiNg (@apope SHAME on you!)

Buy a decent blazer or suit. (k, you pay for it) Find an excuse to wear it once per month. (to enjoy arguments/drama with ya apope?) Get off your couch of Cheetos (It's actually a munchies bag*) and take off those loser pajama pants. (they are SHORTS it is SUMMER!) Look like a GROWN man! (k) By(*buy?) a polo. (quite a bit of money you're spending on me sir) Tuck in your shirt. (elementary school style :D) Wear a watch like a man on his purpose. (OK Mr. Valerio sponsor) See a stylist or ask lady friends for help! (again, kinda gay, ironically :D ) Guys do better than a Walmart t shirt! (heh fuck you :D ) Come on man! (you come on.... person)

Apopes dream world :D
Apope's dream world :D


No Career/Purpose

Your goal should be $100,000/year by age 40 to be high value to women. (in what fuckin economy?) That is a lot of work from age 21 to 40. 19 years of your life. (that I will focus on at least getting by, thanks! Would love wealth like anyone, but what is the actual chance?)


Have Deep Conversation (I hope we do APope! <3)

Stop it with "Hey" or "Hi". (did so already) Read her profile! (all I saw were mountain pictures and wine bottles, no desc) Ask a thoughtful question. (like do you do more than drink and hike?) Talk about more than the weather! (what if it gets hot when we're together? ;) )A hot woman is just another girl dude. Nothing special. (AMEN.... then why dress up for her?...) Watching a sports game at home is not a date! (then... what is?)

Bachelor Pads are Sexy (for boring losers who don't know how to do a good three way ;) )

"Having a bachelor pad with ZERO roommates gets you laid. (again, not if she prefers three ways and such ;) )It shows you are a grown up." (ya, OK)

Yet another, and likely better satire of that "Ladies Man" series by APope16.
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