I have come to the conclusion that I am better off alone.

[emilym12345]

Really having enriching friendships and a fulfilling career has been enough for me in my adult life. Dating has ultimately been a huge disappointment through my early twenties. ( and even my last short relationship a few weeks ago) Really focusing in on intellectual pursuits and what I achieve in this lifetime. I no longer care about settling for some unfulfilling relationship or even really finding true love(which is rare and I'm not sure if most people ever find). Maybe one day I will change my mind. But they would most likely have to be the end all be all.

2

[nawtee_me]

Relationships take work if they are to be a success. You get out what both are willing to put into it. If you both are not on the same page in the relationship then one will feel that the other doesn't really care.

[Guy13]

I think it is a simple phase that we all go through. I have dome it twice now...

[MAAJD]

To be completely honest. To me that is a decision based on mental weakness and not being able to realize that it takes time and effort to meet the 'one' who is compatible and a great match to us.

Just because you failed in many relationships doesn't mean 'they are not for you', it just means either you haven't been meeting the right guys, or the guys you are putting effort into are the wrong type of guys. Or it could also mean that for some reason "you scared guys away from you", just try to analyze and see and find the reason of why each relationship failed and see what they have in common. and then analyze and act accordingly for your next relationships. If you noticed they all just want to have sex then dump you, then maybe stop offering sex so early. look for more genuine guys who won't leave you if you said "no sex anytime soon" who just really like you for you.

If you noticed that they fail cause you fight a lot with them, try to find out why you are fighting. What's causing you to fight. Is it you, or them? if it's you can you fix it? or if it's the guys not being able to handle your personality then maybe find someone with a stronger more stable personality who can handle you.

It's all trial and error dear. Giving up on something is never the way to go. if you say 'im better off alone" you will grow up to be a stuckup woman who hates guys and is mad at the world. Your body NEEDS a man whether you like it or not. Your mental sanity and health needs a man as well.
If you want a small break sure, but to say that 'i am better off alone' is just you giving up and being weak. that is my opinion.

The right mentality won't give up until they get what they want. Look at micheal Jordan. Through out his life he kept suffering with basketball, and in university he literally got kicked out from the university basketball team cause his coach said 'he is not good enough'. Most people would have given up there but no look what he did. That made him want it even more badly and he worked EVEN harder and look now Micheal Jordan got into the NBA and became one of the most well-known famous people in the entire world.

Just keep working on what you want and never 'GIVE up'. or come to conclusions that say 'you are better off'. You are not better off. You think you are because you are not dealing with the 'hurt' of being in arelationship. but the 'hurt' of not being with someone is much much larger.

[wtf636]

I find most people that say this, usually women, actually want this the most... But in order to protect their own mental sanity, they lie to themselves and say they are fine with just working, and having friends. Because they aren't finding the "perfect" guy. And that it will be easier once they have their career in order.

Which is fine in your 20's. But guess what happens to all your friends in their 30s. They get married, they have kids, they grow their lives outside of you. You see less of them. Suddenly all you have is work. And it only gets worse as you get older. Couples don't hang around with singles a lot, and it can get old being the 3rd or 5th wheel out with your married friends. Also, harder to make new friends as you get older.

I don't know about you, but a life of only work sounds miserable. Also, what are you working for, to have a lot of money and nice things for yourself, and no one to share it with? Sounds pretty lonely. A big empty house.

My guess. You expect too much from the men you date. He has to be this, and that, or I'm not going to treat him right is what I hear. But what about what you have to be? Have you ever considered something you might be doing is pushing away the good men? Are you the type of woman, that the type of man you want, wants?

"But they would most likely have to be the end all be all." You want a fairy tale relationship.

My final point would be, you can put it off. There will always be single people out there. But as a woman, it becomes much harder to date the older you get. Most of the good ones will be gone, and you will be left with divorces and people with kids, which is fine if you want that. But it's not gonna get any easier for you to date than it is right now is my point. You could be blowing your best years to find a good man. Even men in their 30's and up like younger women, so you will be competing with them for the good ones that are left.

30's dating is much more mature than 20's. More people are looking for marriage and commitment/kids. I wouldn't waste that time if I were you.

[emilym12345]

I will really think about this.

[emilym12345]

My sanity was a bit skewed by this for a while but I have come to accept that I will just never find someone...

[wtf636]

I that's your attitude, and that's all you go from that, then you might be right.

[Browneye57]

Some people just never reach sufficient maturity to sustain a relationship. Admitting is a start. And for sure, you should not pursue one until you have a better understanding of what it's all about.
For sure it's not just ALL ABOUT YOU. Which we all know is your TOTAL and COMPLETE focus. So for sure, no guy is really into that.

Love, marriage, and family isn't all about YOU. It's not all about what you GET. It's about GIVING. When you get to a place in life where you've reached personal success and happiness, where you're ready to share your life with someone special, then maybe that's the right time to explore it. Thinking that some guy sis gonna be some kind of miracle for you, prince charming is going to sweep you off your feet, or that someone is going to 'complete you', is just not reality. Not even close.

But due to your natural narcissism, none of this will click with you. You're so filled up with yourself that you can't see the forest through the trees. So you'll just call me a misogynistic asshole, which I surely am, but it's YOU that misses out on the benefit. Which is the ENTIRE reason for your whiny question - a desperate calling out for help, for answers on why your dating life is such a disaster.

Good luck. Introspection is simply a foreign concept to the vast majority of women. It's all about the blame-game. Everything is someone or something else's fault. There is NEVER any acceptance of why they're where they're at in life due to their own choices and actions. EVER.

[emilym12345]

Wtf I you literally leave wacked out comments on several of my posts, I am not some ego maniac. I am not literally blaming anyone for my dating life, did I say I just dated assholes? NO. I just said it was bad. And why would anyone stay in an unfulfilling relationship (WHICH I HAD). WHO am I blaming?

[Browneye57]

Reality bites, doesn't it? I TOLD you you wouldn't get it. What's rather comical is I get you better than you do!!
You are still not ready to face your failures. It takes TWO in a relationship to make it work. Don't blame me, this is YOUR problem. Typical woman thinking. And a giant FAIL.
But you won't get it for quite a time longer, if ever. Your life is ALL about you. We get it.

[emilym12345]

Yes my life is all about me, why? Because I have no children, I am not married, and my friends have there own lives... who tf should it be about?

[Browneye57]

I'm here to tell you that if you want a successful relationship with a MAN, it needs to be just as much about HIM as YOU. This is what you are missing.

So let me back up my position just a little more...
I'm 64. I have three grown children, all are older than you. All are successful, stable, mature adults, that function well culturally. I've been married a total of more than forty years to two different women - two of my children were with her, 1 from the current wife of over thirty years. I've been through and conducted countless marriage seminars - yes, both sides. I have a literal shit-ton of knowledge and experience on relationships, sex, marriage, and children. You? Virtually nothing.

So either listen and pay attention, or keep thinking you know everything and bypass the opportunity here to actually LEARN something.

Love and marriage is not about what you GET - it's about GIVING. Something you're just not in a place for yet, and potentially may never be. It really makes ZERO difference to me - my life is grand. Yours? Admittedly, not so much.

[NathanDavis]

I do like the last lines of your thoughts... "maybe one day I will change my mind"
yes, people can change, our minds can change, evolve and adjust, but more importantly... circumstances will always change. Maybe one day you'll find something, someone different... maybe one that becomes a friend, will turn into something else, something more, better said.

At least that was my experience during early 20's and for what I've seen it can still happen later in life, but yes it is rare... if you're way more selective and expect for something more profound then yeah, that can take a longer time... a truth is ( for almost for everyone that finds a more significant relationship) that once it comes your way, there will be little you will want to do to stop it. It might really make you give into it, and then things will happen. Life happens but, time will tell.

[emilym12345]

yeah who knows if it will ever happen... so why try too look for it?

[NathanDavis]

I actually never ever went out to date, flirt, or look for people

three out of four times I've been in committed and exclusive relationships, I was not looking for it, but they did happen

two of them were my friends, and it was school/college age

and the other happened "by chance" meeting someone at reunions/parties within my circle of friends

so in a way... to be actively looking and trying to "force" or make something happen was never my thing, and to be honest I am not sure I could make it work and happen... lol

I've let life be, and to happen

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Ah take it lightly lol there is no such thing as true love its just an expression.

Love is just love its a pleasent feeling.

You can wish to stay alone no problem.

But if you think your friends are gonna stay forever or have time for you every time you need them that's not possible.

Slowly people will get caught up in there own drama people who used to listen to you will start ignoring.

They would think what does she know she's happy and single..


Job and growth will only give you satisfaction to a certain level but as you grow older you loose interest money and all of you aren't the materialistic type.

It might get lonely at wrong times.

If you are upto that later in future you can do this.


Also any relationship requires time , patience, commitment , compromise comprehension

[Philippa_Sallow]

I think it's better to only have relationships sparingly, when you really connect with someone rather than to jump between partner to partner, so in that sense I agree. But you shouldn't put yourself in the mindset that your gonna be alone forever, because that's not a good place to be

[Jlegacy]

I really think you not dating would make the love world sad. You come across like a really exciting person. Every page of you I turn, I want to turn another. You are that addictive. Don't let the negs stop you from all the good things love brings. Personally, I counsel you try again but this time with the big man up in the sky.

[PositiveNote]

Ah, maybe for time you will be better off, but I have know many women who have married late in their lives and were much better for it. Even a cousin who was 60 when she first married or lived with a guy.

[Nik1hil]

Finally you on the same track as me..
😂🤣
Being single is fun
Work on yourself..
Invest time in yourself
..

[Jamie05rhs]

Fair enough. I'm not judging. You have to do what's right for you!

[legalboxers]

you are a very beautiful young lady. You will find someone.

[Shy_Steve]

Your not the only Girl to say that.
It is understandable because are very pretty so you would most probably attract a lot of assholes.
You are better off with different Guys like Shy Guys.

[Anonymous]

I can undertand your problem but dont close all the doors you never you might find geniune guy any time soon 🙂🙂

[River1234]

I think when you will meet the right one for you, your conclusion will vanish.

[Andres77]

Until your partner finds you.
I wish you the best and encourage your patience.

[msc545]

Sometimes settling for a bit less is better than having nothing.

[emilym12345]

Maybe explain your reasoning

[msc545]

Nothing is perfect and asking for perfection is a ticket to failure. Perfection is the enemy of the good.

[emilym12345]

Maybe I remember dating someone I did not like in college because he was being so nice but it was just sooo uncomfortable and made me feel fake

[Mike_Hum]

Guess you're realizing you're hitting the wall.

[eagle1951]

you never know when the right one will come va long

[little_black_dress]

I feel the same way sometimes