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Believe it or not, jerks end up being nice and thus they get ditched afterwards, so the nice girls are not really nice :)
I give my personal experience: I'm normally a mysterious guy, when I meet a girl she knows shit about me, she follows me. afterwards when I get used to her I show my soft side and I end up being ditched by her eventually :)
I know a real sweet girl who ended up dating two jack asses in a row. They were very nice in the beginning and then showed themselves. She was just too nice to break up with them but thankfully she did, eventually. Makes me worry about her in the future.
Well, I would have to disagree with the fact that they are self confident. I think it's the complete opposite where they have low self-esteem. I know many beautiful girls and they have very low self-esteem. Guys will always be hitting on them, telling them they are hot, but still they believe they're ugly, or not that great looking. It makes no sense to me and I think it's a bit egotistical of them.
Like this one really hot girl i'm friends with always goes after jerks for some reason. The guys that don't really even like her that much are the one's she likes the most because she likes "the chase". Girls like the chase, or at least hot girls do. They want someone who doesn't give them everything right off the bat.
So this girl tells me, "i liked him. we had so much in common!" I ask, "what did you have in common?" She responds, "we like the same kind of music!" .. I ask, "Ok what else?" ...
her response,"..." .
SO MUCH IN COMMON OMG!
Girls and up with jerks because they blind themselves - intentionally or not - because we live I'm a culture of instant gratification and nobody wants to wait to see if things are good or not. They just want a guy they can post Facebook pictures with and get 50 likes. Sad but true.
TL;DR: We're foolish little creatures who are fooled by smooth talk and are convinced that this guy will be the exception to the rule.
All you have really said is that guys might as well be assholes since it increases the odds of them convincing some airheaded girl he's 'mysterious' and 'confident'.
There can be no doubt! These girls are choosing based on who puts on the best "swag" act! Nothing else really counts with them. These girls have rendered genuinine kindness and caring WORTHLESS!
@circlebill wothless? Don't think so. There IS a reason why we broke up with this kind of guys. The mysterious part only keep us for a short time. What keeps a woman is true kindness. At least it is for me.
All the kindness in the world is worthless if you won't even give the guy a chance in the first place. See the problem yet?
Unfortunately the part you are leaving out is attraction. Contrary to what, at least some women, believe is that they are subject to biology just as much as we are. You might be the best guy inside in the world but if your outside doesn't match they won't give you a shot. To my knowldege the driving factors for women are physical health and strength along with confidence, resources, comfort, and protection. These factors do not make them gold diggers necessarily... it makes them prudent. Girls are groomed and through evolution designed to seek out men like that and they will fight tooth and nail for it, don't kid yourself. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache once you accept this.
ComDom - You are right in that the biology of attraction based on strngth is an important part of it. Unfortunately, ACTUAL strength doesn't really make a difference in a civilized, advanced society! Women's instincts may LOOK for strenghth, but in the absence of harsh situations like physical combat or hunting a large, dangerous animal, their instincts are easily fooled! Thus, any pushy loudmouth jerk will register as STRONG! Men who wouldn't last a minute in a real harsh situation are seen by women as STRONG! Yet a man who is ACTUALLY STRONG, will be seen by women as weak if he is kind and cares about others. So ACTUAL STRENGTH doesn't matter to women. An arrogant, big mouth will do! Projected image and illusion are enough to trigger women's attraction instincts. Even simple boorish disregard can trigger women's attraction instincts. And that's probably why so many women end up with jerks. Often the ill-mannered, boorish disregard of a "JERK" is the only "strength" women can see.
"Because we're tricked" is a good answer. However, seeing "mysterious", "adventurous" and "cool" as "desired" qualities does not mean you're right to be tricked. You can't just jump in front of a train and expect not to die because its headlights look so pretty.
Those are not bad qualities. Beside I never said those should be a must. Just that those are qualities that attract.
You know there's a train behind the headlights, there has always been. Okay, let's not say always, make it 99%. Stop being attracted to the headlights. If you can't, stop acting towards what attracts you.
Flies to a zapper.
Good take.
I don't buy the "we were fooled" thing, though. I've lost track of how many times I've seen a girl go for a guy who was blatantly obviously a jerk to everyone, and there was no reason it wasn't clear to her too.
The truth is those girls know what they're getting into but they weight the bad against the excitement and allure of the bad boy (and the way he makes her pussy wet) and they decide to do it anyway. It's poor judgement, pure and simple.
It depends though. Even if he seems bad, we foolishly expect to be treated good.
Right, I agree with that.
And that's where it becomes stupid. Men are stubborn fuckers. Most of share the thought of changing for someone. What girls do when they hit up assholes is set themselves up for pain, drama, and a hell ton of bullshit.
You're giving girls WAY too much credit. They are typically subject to their emotions to a very large extent. Why do you think Disney princess movies are so popular and why do you think romance movies are so similar? Girls are human and they make mistakes. Sometimes it takes a few or many mistakes until they realize it. Or for many of them their preference is for a prince to save them from themselves.
@ComCom - frankly, I think that attitude is part of the problem. We hold males accountable for their actions and choice but we make excuses for females. By doing that we are simply enabling and perpetuating the behavior. We need to hold women accountable just like we do men, and we are still a long way from that.
all above the above stated is basicly true, and this is how nature goes. The only ones complaining now, are those who think its wrong "tricking" a girl into sexual activities. Typical nice guy syndrome: living in a world of denial. Scripted to a movie life-like script
So you just kind of "allow" yourself to be treated like crap, then settle for a good guy who treats you like well like he actually loves you, but since he doesn't have self confidence to the point of self delusion, you either dump him or cheat on him or both. Then you wonder why no actual guys want anything to do with you...
who told you that I behave like that. I would treat someone like that.
Wouldn't
It sounds like your type is disloyal women. I'd suggest you get your priorities in check.
Wow.. regardless of the content you need to take an English class. Learn how to proof read, learn spelling, learn proper English . you wrote an article, not a comment or a text to someone.
most of what you said is BS. you don't always know about a person until you meet them. But some women seem to stay with assholes due to low self worth.
men or women, if your with someone that does not treat you right, that is your fault. You need to dump them and move on.
guys don't be naive, everyone is nice at home i mean who don't want best for family or friends? so don't think you can't be that bad guy cuz sometimes it's you and sometimes others are exaggerating, i think also you need to give shy people chances... who knows
I don't understand this, all girls are different some like danger loving boys and some like GEUININE guys, no one likes a door step or a fair wheather guy. It doesn't matter how nice she is herself, guys do the same. What you put out, you will get back. So if you let everyone take advantage of you whether your a guy or a girl then you'll more then likely have someone do the same in the dating field. Hopefully this take will make people stop with the questions ugh.
in my opinion, weak girls search for strong guys, but due to 0 experience and just low selfconfidence, they think that immature, sexist jerks who ack like a douche are strong men who will protect her litte, cute, nice self... welp no.
result:she suffers, he couldn't care less about her feelings 'cause he has what he wants-sex and sub personality in one person.
in my opinion.
This for sure.
Unfortunately we are -aiming- to raise boys to be weaker and weaker. And a bunch of them rebel and become those sexist jerks. And the boys who are genuinely nice, are raised to be weak, and girls don't like them. They get pissed off and start acting like jerks, and societies answer to this, is to try to teach boys to be weaker still...
ugh ugh ugh.
I always liked nice guys. I mean I'm pretty confident about myself as a woman and an invidual so I know what I like, if I wanna adventure... pfff baby get on my bike I will get you to the best places ever or if not, we spend nights playing xbox, or smth else... lol
And guys should be more direct, not rude, just open and direct))
My vote for all the NICE GUYS! ))
So, how are we supposed to handle a guy like this? I've been in this exact situation before, then when my feelings got involved and I started expressing them, he made me feel like I was being immature and over reacting when I was just calling him out on all his lies and bullshit.
How to handle his bullshit? Just don't! End with him, that's it. what's the point if he doesn't respect you? Just so you dont feel alone? well that's exactly what weak girls do they forgive and forgive and... I don't understannd this kind of relationships.
Somewhat true. Science seems to indicate that women (depending on where they are in their ovulation cycle) seek out men with higher levels of testosterone. This hormone is responsible for making guys 'jerks' largely. It is also what gives males their physical and mental strength/confidence. The solution is somewhat simple. Find out what a guy is like deep down before you spread your legs.
Agreed. But i dont think testosterone influense on mental strenght, women have less testosterone but some, as myself, are more stronger than those jerks on mental and confidence levels.
That's a common misconception. Testosterone does improve confidence, mental vitality, and probably intelligence to some extent BUT only to a point. If the male has too much testosterone it can cause cellar death, I'm told, probably initially leading to weaker intellect.
ok i just wasn't sure about testo, so i just commented on what i know and belive.
I have to disagree with #1. Bad boys are not confident, they are insecure. Yea these two are easy to get mixed up in the short run. But in the long run the truth will always smack you hard in the face.
#5 is pretty irrational. If a bad boy fooled you that is your fault for believing his bullshit in the first place
no theyre secure, cause they set their own rules thus meaning they can never be wrong or mistaken
@Drake you are only 18 and your judging by your philosophy you lack lots experience. I suggest you come back to this in ten more years
It's unfair for us so called 'Nice guys' to balme our lack of action on the so called 'Bad Boys'. Personally I am the so called 'nice guy' type, but I look at relationships on a personal level, it's about two people clicking into place with each other unfortunately most of the time it seems like this happens with the most unlikely combinations. It's all about patience over time you end up with someone right for you.
Girls love to take risks when they are in relationships with guys. They love that thrill that bad guys have. It gives them that excitement and that joy. On the other hand, when they are in a relationship with a good guy, they often get bored and will seek other guys who care for them much lesser.
I think most "bad boys" tend to grow out of their shell and start becoming "good boys" later in life.
Nice girls end up with jerks b/c they want to. Whatever he did, whatever he said and whatever his desire was she chose him. She didn't have to, but she did, so there was something about that jerk that she really liked. STOP TRYING TO MAKE WOMEN SOUND LIKE VICTIMS BASED ON THE POOR DECISIONS THEY MAKE ABOUT THE TYPE OF MEN THEY CHOOSE TO BE WITH.
I think we need to stop victimizing both the women and the nice guys.
Nice guys come in last. Why do nice guys come in last? B/c they are conditioned by a society & culture that has conditioned them (mentally) to think & feel that they need to cater to the woman. You can't change that fact.
It seems like nice guys go after bad girls and nice girls go after bad guys. Why can't nice girls talk with nice guys? Seems like a pretty easy fix.
I blame their parents. she must have learn to trust him without knowing that a man is a dog. If her father shows her too much of lame dog, then she would believe all men are like that. she could feel compassion about the sick dog but he is really hiding his teeth.
not all guys are the same, but we girls have to be careful about who we fall for... many guys take advantage of us because we tend to trust too much... but end of the day , not all boys are the same we just have to keep our eyes open for the right ones.
A good guy can be mysterious, non-clingy, can like adventure and confident. At least I know someone like that. I don't know why some guys blaim their dating failures on their nature and then turn into assholes. Then they claim that all a girl want is a bad boy. It's not true at all but the guys on this site is Faaaarrrr from reality. Lol.
Introduce them to me! Lol
He is mine :') haha