Some of my friends (girls) ask why guys are jerks. Other friends (guys) ask why girls only get involved with jerks. And I sit back and roll my eyes every time.
The dating and relationship climate is a soiled one that perpetuates a bad cycle. A lot of men treat girls like shit (I’m just being honest) I didn’t say all men, but I am saying quite a bit; enough for many women to presume that men are jerks! Many of us play girls, manipulate them, and stay somewhat detached while doing so. And men do so because quickly they're led to believe that being sincerely thoughtful of you gets them know where. Despite the current mainstream platform of feminism, many of us truly believe that in respecting women (at least too much) we run the risk of losing respect from them. And women are constantly being taken advantage of, hurt, even left with children; and to no surprise they cry out, “Where are all the nice guys!”
While this tragic scene is happening in the women’s lives, nice guys are indeed around. But too often, nice guys get ignored by girls and eventually turn into jerks. They do this because young women repeatedly mess around with the jerks they later complain about, and the nice guys watch this after having been rejected. And one must understand how confusing it must be when you put all your effort to show respect for someone and that effort be ignored and deviousness and narcissism preferred. Ladies, I’m not saying all women do this, but I am saying quite a bit; enough for many men to presume that all women are vain and superficial.
And the problem both men and women experience is all self-induced. Most women, in their youth, enjoy a great deal of automatic, unearned attention by the opposite sex. Because of this most women don’t need to interesting, exciting, or charming. All they have to do is look half-decent, be friendly, and show up to wherever men are. That’s all. This entitled, privileged attitude is the basis for the issue men face and it’s men's own doing. It is then easy to understand how “privileged” girls may ignore the hopes and feelings of a genuinely nice guy.
And because of this, nice guys who actually bother to treat women with kindness and proper respect are shortlisted or just treated badly period. Therefore it is no surprise that many nice guys eventually stop being nice. It’s not because they’re not getting sex. That is too quick, presumptuous, and surface level of a reason. No, at the core, it's because they ultimately feel they aren’t being respected. Men want respect. They like to be treated with respect and feel like a man.
After being mentally broken down, realization and reality hits, and girls stop messing around and try to find love in a real place (real physically and real mentally). But sadly few if any nice guys remain. All that does remain is hatred on both sides. Many men are left feeling women are superficial and vain; and so women are left single or, worse, being single moms. Many women are left feeling no man can be trusted and so men are left being hated and stereotyped as dogs from birth. But the reality is no one is born a dog or born with their heads too far in the clouds to appreciate sincerity. No we condition each other into being terrible human beings because we're all obscenely immature, children in adult bodies perusing relationships with the emotional and mental maturity of infants.
Women, when some men come to hate women as a group, there is a reason for it. Genuinely nice guys who treat women with sincere kindness and respect are routinely rejected or given the infamous friend zone for men who are more aggressive and domineering. Men, when some women come to hate men as a group, there is a reason. it is because they are time and time again led around, hurt, and played by men. It's insidious and disgusting when men treat women as things to be played, because it ultimately leaves the woman as a fractured mess. And it is insidious when women get to the point that they have more self-esteem than they have common sense, because it breeds a social climate a climate of insincerity and games; because you become so unapproachable that men become the crooked politicians of relationships--learning to be, behave, and say things that are alluring and exciting but are ultimately nothing short of rehearsed, insincere, and counterfeit.
In short, both sexes create the monsters they lament about later. Men and women both need to check their privilege and be careful about the focus of hatred, because that which they hate is ultimately their own doing.
But this is just my take. I'm curious to know other's opinions.
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