I am a nice guy. I am married. I have an amazing sex life. When I was single I dated a lot and had an amazing sex life.
"But wait," you say! "How is that possible? Girls only go for jerks!"
Nope. They don't. In fact, they go for nice guys all the time. So why aren't they going for you? Here's why:
1) Girls don't like whiners. The fact that you're whining and moping about "girls only like jerks" is in itself a huge turn-off. Stop whining. Now. Unless you're five years old or your testicles have yet to drop, whining is the antithesis of being male.
2) Jerks are fun and exciting. No, they're not fun and exciting because they're jerks. In fact, being fun and exciting has nothing to do with being a jerk, or vice versa. However, that jerk that got your girl? Yeah. He's more fun and exciting than you. What does fun and exciting mean? It means that he gets out of the house. To do what, exactly? Let's see... parties, sports, travel, restaurants, concerts, the beach, biking, hiking... a lot of things that involve interaction with other people and adrenalin. What do nice guys typically do? Let's see... WoW, Star Trek, reading Lord of the Rings for the 17th time, debating the merits of Linux... a lot of things that DON'T involve interaction with other people and adrenalin. Now here's the thing. YOU CAN DO BOTH. I am a total and complete Star Wars geek. I am constantly reading. But you know what? I also love to go to parties, go to the beach, travel, and rock climb. Make it a rule that for every geek thing you do, you do one "jerk" thing. (However, if you dress in costume for ComicCon, you better be ready to scale Devil's Tower.)
3) Jerks have confidence. Usually jerks have so much confidence that they're cocky and arrogant and end up being, well, jerks. But you know what? Too much confidence is more appealing than none. Sorry... it's the way life is. Girls would much rather have someone who is not arrogant and cocky, but since YOU don't even have a modicum of confidence, her alternative is a jerk. You want to steal a girl from a jerk? Have confidence without being cocky. How? Try talking. The jerks are willing to go up to a girl and start talking to them. Do jerks get shot down? Of course. But they move on and don't take it personally. Try it sometime. They stand up straight. They stand up for themselves. They always give it their all. In short, they're men.
4) They take care of themselves. Sure, they do it to get laid, but to the girls, it comes across as having a sense of self. How to do it? Exercise - no, you don't have to look like Mario Lopez. But you DO have to do something other than a Shake Weight while on Chat Roulette. Eat right. Get the proper amount of sleep. Shower.
5) Finally - and this is the big one - they know how a MAN treats a WOMAN. Hear me out. I know that right now you're thinking, "But he isn't nice? Do I have to be rude and condescending? Do I have to tell her she's fat? Do I have to cheat on her? See? You're telling me I have to be a jerk!" No. Read on.
If you could see their relationship at the beginning, you know what you would see? A man who showers his girl with attention, a man who compliments and notices the small stuff. A man who listens to her. A man who takes her to places she finds new and interesting and exciting. A man who makes her feel like her body is what keeps him alive. Yes, yes, yes... He's a jerk NOW. But he wasn't then. Then he was everything she wanted him to be. You know what that is most of all? A MAN.
Not a girl. She already has girlfriends. Don't be a girlfriend with a penis.
So, how?
1) There are other girls. Date them. There's not a lot to motivate her to be with you if she knows that you only want her and you'll be there eventually when she wants you. If she realizes that other girls are looking to nab you too, she might re-prioritize her life. This doesn't mean date just to make her jealous. Actually date. One of two things will happen - either she'll realize that she's about to let a catch get away, or you'll meet a BETTER girl and be even more happy. Or both.
2) Quit moping. You waste a lot of life sitting in your room pining for love that may never be. Get out there and do stuff. Have fun. See point #2 above.
In short don't be a jerk to get a girl, but learn from the jerks. After all, they're doing something right.
"But wait," you say! "How is that possible? Girls only go for jerks!"
Nope. They don't. In fact, they go for nice guys all the time. So why aren't they going for you? Here's why:
1) Girls don't like whiners. The fact that you're whining and moping about "girls only like jerks" is in itself a huge turn-off. Stop whining. Now. Unless you're five years old or your testicles have yet to drop, whining is the antithesis of being male.
2) Jerks are fun and exciting. No, they're not fun and exciting because they're jerks. In fact, being fun and exciting has nothing to do with being a jerk, or vice versa. However, that jerk that got your girl? Yeah. He's more fun and exciting than you. What does fun and exciting mean? It means that he gets out of the house. To do what, exactly? Let's see... parties, sports, travel, restaurants, concerts, the beach, biking, hiking... a lot of things that involve interaction with other people and adrenalin. What do nice guys typically do? Let's see... WoW, Star Trek, reading Lord of the Rings for the 17th time, debating the merits of Linux... a lot of things that DON'T involve interaction with other people and adrenalin. Now here's the thing. YOU CAN DO BOTH. I am a total and complete Star Wars geek. I am constantly reading. But you know what? I also love to go to parties, go to the beach, travel, and rock climb. Make it a rule that for every geek thing you do, you do one "jerk" thing. (However, if you dress in costume for ComicCon, you better be ready to scale Devil's Tower.)
3) Jerks have confidence. Usually jerks have so much confidence that they're cocky and arrogant and end up being, well, jerks. But you know what? Too much confidence is more appealing than none. Sorry... it's the way life is. Girls would much rather have someone who is not arrogant and cocky, but since YOU don't even have a modicum of confidence, her alternative is a jerk. You want to steal a girl from a jerk? Have confidence without being cocky. How? Try talking. The jerks are willing to go up to a girl and start talking to them. Do jerks get shot down? Of course. But they move on and don't take it personally. Try it sometime. They stand up straight. They stand up for themselves. They always give it their all. In short, they're men.
4) They take care of themselves. Sure, they do it to get laid, but to the girls, it comes across as having a sense of self. How to do it? Exercise - no, you don't have to look like Mario Lopez. But you DO have to do something other than a Shake Weight while on Chat Roulette. Eat right. Get the proper amount of sleep. Shower.
5) Finally - and this is the big one - they know how a MAN treats a WOMAN. Hear me out. I know that right now you're thinking, "But he isn't nice? Do I have to be rude and condescending? Do I have to tell her she's fat? Do I have to cheat on her? See? You're telling me I have to be a jerk!" No. Read on.
If you could see their relationship at the beginning, you know what you would see? A man who showers his girl with attention, a man who compliments and notices the small stuff. A man who listens to her. A man who takes her to places she finds new and interesting and exciting. A man who makes her feel like her body is what keeps him alive. Yes, yes, yes... He's a jerk NOW. But he wasn't then. Then he was everything she wanted him to be. You know what that is most of all? A MAN.
Not a girl. She already has girlfriends. Don't be a girlfriend with a penis.
So, how?
1) There are other girls. Date them. There's not a lot to motivate her to be with you if she knows that you only want her and you'll be there eventually when she wants you. If she realizes that other girls are looking to nab you too, she might re-prioritize her life. This doesn't mean date just to make her jealous. Actually date. One of two things will happen - either she'll realize that she's about to let a catch get away, or you'll meet a BETTER girl and be even more happy. Or both.
2) Quit moping. You waste a lot of life sitting in your room pining for love that may never be. Get out there and do stuff. Have fun. See point #2 above.
In short don't be a jerk to get a girl, but learn from the jerks. After all, they're doing something right.
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