Why nice girls end up with jerks

Many men complaint about nice girls being with jerks. They claim they are good guys and don't understand why such lovely girls can end up with guys that treat them like an object. Well as already have being in that place, no one knows the reason.

But what I can tell you is what is so appealing about jerks-not that we know from the begining. Why nice girls end up with jerks

1- They're self confident.

They know they have the looks - if don't they don't care. Don't see they self as ugly or anything. They know how to take advantage of what they have.

2- They are misterious

They don't tell you from the begining all about them nor their feelings toward you. They keep it calm and play it 'cool'.

3- They aren't clingy.

They know the other part is crazy about them, so they don't seem desperate to get her attention.

4- They like adventure

Who doesn't like adventure at some point?

5- They can fool us to get to believe they actually are good guys.

They claim to be good guys. They sometimes treat us good, or make us feel good about ourselves.

But they aren't nice guys. We don't end up for enternity with them. We were fooled.

But not because we wanted. Just because we allow it. But that doesn't mean we are mean girls. Just that we don't have such a good eye to catch them from the begining. They sometimes even tell us they are good guys, and treat good to their relatives. So you fall for that trick. For although they can be good with almost everyone, they won't be nice to girls.

And I firmly believe that at some point girls got realize of that. The thing is that what is most attractive about a guy is self confidence. And if that comes with honesty, that is a gold mine.

So, is not that we don't like good guys. We do. Is just that we love guys who play it cool. And if that ends with the guy treating us good, we won't step back. I can guarantee you, at least nice girls, won't leave you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • reading through the comments I can see a lot of the "nice guys” aren’t liking what you are telling them. I used to be one of them when I was younger and it took me awhile to learn that confidence and behaving like a challenge is what is attractive and not being clingy and annoying. The guy that is more on the “bad boy” side isn’t afraid to speak his mind when something is bothering him or he doesn’t agree with something, he will stand up for himself and what he believes in, he is sure of himself and knows who he is, that is confidence and these guys have those qualities that are attractive. I know that a women that respects herself won’t put up with a guy that treats her badly for long if she was charmed into getting with a guy that truly is a jerk. This is something the whiny nice guys need to understand.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A jerk tried to get with me... I kicked him to the curb as soon as his jerkiness showed (which was about a week). I kicked the loser to the curb. I don't settle for less.


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 100

  • I don't think this has ever been an issue of understanding why women like the "jerks/bad boys". By now I think we've established the characteristics that make those types of guys attractive. The disagreement lies I believe in how we feel about view this realization.

    Women talk about it, like it's this cute little mistake. These reasons for falling for a jerk, seem to make it a justifiable by there mere existence. Even #5 alludes to this. Women feel that they've ultimately been manipulated into a relationship with such guys and should therefore should bare none of the blame when things go south. I think this can be boiled down to one thing. Lacking accountability.

    That said, I understand a women's tendency to end up with guys like this. I would react similarly if the tables were flipped. What I'm specifically talking about is #1. While some guys are just plain nice guys, some "nice guys" are just dweebs who lack any confidence or reason to warrant them having a GF. I sympathize with the only former. If a guy does have confidence, doesn't work on his social skills, isn't intelligent, and all around lacks any marketable qualities, then just being nice is not a reason alone to be entitled to a GF.

    However, the other items on the list really mean nothing when it comes to someone's effectiveness as a long term mate. Being mysterious or adventurous is a superficial and sexual trait. These are poor things to base your judgments on. Even further is clingyness. Obviously there is a point where a person becomes a stalker, but generally I'd say this is a positive trait. It means the person actually cares about you and the relationship. Would you rather have the opposite of cliny? How effective of a mate is someone who doesn't take you or the relationship as one of his top priorities in life?

    The point is that men understand why women like these guys. We just don't understand why women seem ok with repeating the same mistake and then acting like it was a surprise.

    • I can speak for my self when I say I'm not happy for ending with jerks. And I never develop any relationship with them. It always ends at few months. And at first they all seem nice guys. They even claim to be. But the truth is that they never were. And what was so attractive was them not being nice. It would be awesome that a guy, who is actually nice, had a little more of confidence and wasn't trying to see if the other part feels the same all the time. I know that even good guys seek for that in girls.

    • You don't even know what confidence girl. Confidence have nothing to do with being nice or not, being attractive or not, confidence comes from knowledge and experience OR plain stupidity or psychopathic tendency's.

      There is no correlation between confidence and any other trait being positive or not period.

    • @take owner - If you things guys are nice and they turn on to be jerks, I'd say shame on you. Honestly I don't think it's that hard to spot a guy who is a jerk or a phony. I think it's just by nature of being a girl, their is the added element of sexual attraction which clouds your judgment. Men are guilty of it to in different ways when it comes to judging women. We become attracted to someone and want to see only the good in them.

      Us guys see it. We same the same handful of asshole guys rifle through women, and each girl seems surprised that he wasn't a class A guy. Everyone on the planet is going to put on a pretty face when they first meet you. Everyone is a nice guy when you first meet them. Rarely does someone come up to you and just an outright jerk and tell all about their negative qualities. You have to learn to how ask question, read people, and take the time to analyze the situation.

  • So basically, nice girls are gullible? You can easily spot a jerk: overly confident, lacks manners, doesn't listen to what you say, doesn't look you in the eyes, doesn't think of you as in the same level as him... Just like it's easy to spot a mean girl, it's easy to spot a jerk.
    It's your fault you fell for that guy, there's no way to justify it, you're the one to choose who enters your life and who doesn't, and if you need months to know he's a jerk, you either don't know nothing about body language, or you're too gullible.

  • Number 5 isn't true at all. The only reason people get fooled is because men and women over look the obvious flaws of people they are really attracted to. So they they aren't fooling the girl, the girl is fooling herself.

    "we love guys who play it cool." Generally the only guys that will be that comfortable around women are guys that don't give a damn about the woman. The more you care about someone that harder it is to play it cool. So you just described the core trait of a guy that is a jerk to women, as being the one trait women love in a man. A man playing it too cool is one of the clearest red flags that women wanting a relationship should learn to avoid.

    The reason women end up with jerks is because nice guys are not being taught anything that even resembles strength or independence. As a result they don't develop the traits women are attracted to. Instead they are always being taught that they have to walk on egg shells, and constantly shower the woman with attention, or else they are jerks for taking her for granted. The men that don't care about women, just ignore these lessons entirely, and as a result have an easier time playing it cool with women.

    Humans are just animals, and are slaves to our base desires like any other animal. It is how our species has survived this long. In the end women will almost always go for the guy that she is most attracted to, over the guy that is going to treat her the best. Sexual attraction is about survival of the fittest, and not about how nice someone is to you. Being nice to a woman will never make a woman wet. However this is what nice guys were taught, and why nice guys will consistently fail.

  • Such B. S. I know a ton of nice guys who are confident as all hell, just they express it as being sweet and kind. What girls really like in jerks is the excitement and the not knowing what's gunna happen next, keeps them on their toes and not bored. Don't buy this we like them cause they're confident crap.

    • Yes, it seems that many are like children, if you don't keep them entertained and stimulated 24/7 they get bored and cheat or leave. Its like we exist only to satisfy whatever whims they have at the moment, and if we can't they change us out with no more empathy than they give to changing one of their little outfits.

    • They express confidence in their sweetness and kindness? I'm not even sure how to respond to that. Being confident (in general) is not the same as being confidently sweet and kind. Females (typically) like masculine confidence caused by testosterone. Women subconsciously like males that have healthy hormone levels which they display through their (masculine) actions. It's biology/evolution.

  • Yeah. The real nice guys are left to clean up the mess that's in your life after the slept with all the jerks, "honey".

    Should I pay full price plus interest and penalties for a used car?
    Do you buy a burned down house, or a wrecked ship?

    The problem with "Nice Girls" is they actually aren't "nice". I tried messaging and pursuing "nice girls" and they treat "nice guys" like dirt and go for the player every time... every time. They'll be giving him a blow job an hour after they meet him. Me? They wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole.

    I'm normally not like this, but these topics are always filled with women claiming one thing when entire life experience says they really don't even try to be nice to nice guys.
    Christian women don't date Christian men.
    Christian women don't date virgins.

    The Player tells men to sleep with the "nice" ones and the Christians early and often to "Break them" because that's how it works. Technically according to her religion she isn't even supposed to date him, but he has video evidence of them literally giving him a blow job with hours of their first meeting in a coffee shop or bookstore.

    What do you say nice girls?

    You left me hanging for my entire adult life. As Jesus Christ once said, "I have somewhat against you because you have left your first love".

    I lived my life to the utmost moral standards and goodness toward others. When I had money I gave to anyone who asked of me. I treated people with respect and dignity everywhere I went, and the only thing I ever got out of it was rejection, humiliation, etc, from "nice girls": Church people, club people, anything between, you name it.

    I want to know what in God's creation I've allegedly done wrong to be treated that way?

    • and being a church going girl and staying true to my covenants, most guys run when i tell them that there is no sex before marriage.
      It used to bother me when they chose sex over getting to know me as a person.
      Isn't easier to go for the "bad guy", or "bad girl", most times they get into a relationship right away because they want everything right now.
      It nothing you or anyone else has done wrong, its because nobody wants to take their time anymore.
      It Sucks!

    • @Wade888 I honestly don't understand the person who wrote this article/thread, and whether it is a male or female, and from which side they are trying to approach this "take on jerks". I don't understand how someone can idolize jerks in the strongest sense of the word as to get back at good guys. I believe there is a misconception about what a jerk and a good guy is here. Maybe s/he got hurt by a "good guy" who proved to be a jerk?

  • The answer to your Take can be narrowed down to this:

    These "nice girls" aren't doing the picking of the guy, they are letting the guy pick THEM!

    Girls need to be more proactive and CHOOSING their own guys, instead of sitting around being "chosen".

    • I think this is true. And to extend I would say they don't need to be assertive necessarily. They just need to make themselves available. Nowadays it isn't culturally acceptable or legal for men to just take what they want unlike the past. So until or unless that changes women have do their part as well.

  • Lol such a stupid post. All 5 of your points are flawed. They aren't confident, they're cocky. Mysterious? Not all of them. They aren't clingy because they didn't like you to start with. They like adventure? As in good guys don't? They don't fool you, you fool yourself. Your misjudgement of what the opposite gender is made of is the reason girls fall for jerks.

    • I see you don't give the girls a free pass on dating jerks! Choices certainly have consequences! And as usual, it can only be guys' fault!

    • Coincidently I couldn't give less of a shit about what girls have done previous to dating me; so far as their past actions don't affect the way they are now. What bothers me is damaged girls generalizing guys and making men as a whole look like the bad guy for poor decisions they made in their life. @circlebill

    • @imnotcrearive

      Yes, I feel that women who have this type of "feminist" mindset, can never truly grow as people, and remain immature for the rest of their lives...

  • I think the fact that nice girls don't go for nice guys is equally the fault of both parties. The nice girls are fooled by a manipukative jerk, and they are clueless enough to let it happen over and over and over again. The nice girl need to learn how to spot a jerk when they see one. And as for the nice guys (myself included) instead of mooing around and begging girls for attention, we need to build our confidence and put on our best face. Because honestly girls love who we are, but we hate who we are. If we could learn to love who we are and show girls how great we can treat them and how much love we can get them, then i guarentee u that they will rish to your side. Girls only find the outside of a bad boy appealing, but nice guys, your inside is already appealing, so if u could just be confident in yourself and make your outside appealing as well, u will end up with an amazing woman who loves u for u. And that woman will be saved from anymore of those manipulative jerks. If guys can learn to be confident, and girls can learn not to get fooled by those jerks, then its a win for everybody!

  • 24.media.tumblr.com/.../...2ffJui1txb8sho1_500.gif

    Personally I'm tired of the whole "nice guys finish last" and "why do girls like bad guys" shtick.

    If a girl has a history of dating bad guys and getting hurt by them it tells me two things about her:

    A - She's either naive or stupid. Yes, stupid. As in, lacking in observation or good people skills, the very tools that are required to discern who is an asshole and who is genuine.

    B - She genuinely likes bad guys and chases them.

    Either way, I see both A and B as not worth getting in a relationship with.

    Don't even get me started on the "nice guys" who complain that girls should like them only for their personality alone.

    People in general are just stupid in my eyes. Most of them anyway.

    • If a person always ends in that path, yes, that is being stupid. But not always happens that way.

    • I'm a very strict person. I can understand if you were on the path once, maaayybbe twice, maybe. But a third time? Nope.

      I need someone smarter as my life partner.

    • Smart man

  • 2 things I have to mention here. 1) Jerks or that type have those qualities that "Attract" women but are not long term material (these are just generalizations again). But the thing is, women can't fight attraction, nobody can. Once you attracted, you attracted. So the awesome nice guy hasn't got a chance to meet a girl over the badboy. This is why a player can get loads of women and still be a dick about it. You can't fight attraction... end of story. 2) This especially happens in teens and early adulthood. So the nice guy doesn't have much success growing and doesn't learn those skills that the bad boy learnt and is pretty much against it his entire life in the love game. Whereas the jerks or badboys can still get the women when they older, because they know how. Nice guys need to man the f up and be douche and not worry about women (or their opinions anyway).

  • Lol I can sense a player or a cheater or a "bad guy" from a mile away. Feelings cloud your judgement. I used to not understand how girls couldn't see a certain guy and how he plays girls all the time but half the problem is the dude is damn good at hiding and the other half of the problem is the girl judges the guy based on how he makes her feel not what he actually does. Oh and don't get me started with the girls that get played and keep going back to the same guy lmao. You can't keep blaming the "bad guys." At a certain point its on you and if you still decide to go for the bad guy after you've seen the signs that you live with that decision. The bad guys aren't doing different shit to fuck with your feelings, they are doing the same shit they have always done and its on you to realize it. People need to take accountability for their actions instead of blaming everyone else. This includes "nice guys." Stop blaming women for rejecting you. Take some accountability. Obviously its something about your ass that girls don't like, lets start with the damn attitude.

    • I did say we allow it. I'm not blaming anyone. Just that we are fooled. When a girl get notice of a guy being a jerks, is her fault.

    • @kshppatel is right. Stop blaming other people for your problems Nice guys and women in general. The saying goes "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, then shame on me." Meaning if you get back with the same girl or guy expecting some type of change, then it's your fault

  • I think people end up with people like themselves. Deep down these girls are not very good but they appear to be and think they are. They have to get burned in order to get their stuff together. That or they're blinded by their emotions. This all goes for people in general, not just girls.

  • LMFAO she spelled misterious instead of mysterious. That says it all. Again I am tired of hearing people complain. You say one thing but do another. Just like when you have an interview on what shows you watch, people will say CBS, PBS, ABC, etc. But in reality you watch Breaking Bad, The Liar, etc. Again like I always say, girls typically grow up with the whole makeover idea and renovation. They want to change the guy and fix him up. They learn eventually that they can't change him and then cry that he was a deadbeat and blah blah blah. I mean dear, who chose the 'bad boy' ? The nice guy is usually perfect in ways or a doormat. Are there exceptions to every rule? Sure, but the rule still holds. I have noticed that as women age like milk and reach 30+, out of the blue they want a reliable guy who can financially support them. They have entitlement and expectations on what he should have and blah blah blah. Men age like wine and our value increases like a blue chip stock. Especially as we build our net worth and have money, power, and fame.

    • A typo error. Besides, women aged like milk? Wtf is that?

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    • Lol, i called it what it was bro, u is what u is, be pissed if u wanna be

    • Pal, I don't get mad over a mangina's statement. "U is what u is", nice grammar there. Some logical and complete sentence alright. The irony is that you called me a 'kid'. That says it all. I don't have to say anything else.

  • Nice girls end up with jerks b/c they want to. Whatever he did, whatever he said and whatever his desire was she chose him. She didn't have to, but she did, so there was something about that jerk that she really liked. STOP TRYING TO MAKE WOMEN SOUND LIKE VICTIMS BASED ON THE POOR DECISIONS THEY MAKE ABOUT THE TYPE OF MEN THEY CHOOSE TO BE WITH.

    • I think we need to stop victimizing both the women and the nice guys.

    • Nice guys come in last. Why do nice guys come in last? B/c they are conditioned by a society & culture that has conditioned them (mentally) to think & feel that they need to cater to the woman. You can't change that fact.

    • It seems like nice guys go after bad girls and nice girls go after bad guys. Why can't nice girls talk with nice guys? Seems like a pretty easy fix.

  • I think your take is accurate, though I'm not sure if it's clear enough (not blaming you, its a messy issue) to help 'nice guys'.

    How do you reconcile:
    "And if that comes with honesty, that is a gold mine. "
    "They don't tell you from the begining all about them nor their feelings toward you. They keep it calm and play it 'cool'.

    These seem to contradict. And I'm sure the 'girls like jerks' guys are going to suggest that in fact, women prefer the latter.

    • I wasn't refering about feelings thought. At the begining is better not to know. I was talking about being honest in general.

    • Show All
    • Yes. Exactly. At some point we do want to know what are the feeling. And that is part of being honest. But at early stages is hard to take it.

    • Then I wouldn't tell nice guys you like honesty. It doesn't seem like a plus to you. In fact you want a guy who isn't a piece of shit, but is mysterious and plays a little hard to get (which jerks do naturally because... they don't care...)

  • Well here's what I have to ask. If your a nice guy who has been told all your life not to be a sore winner or loser, not to tell women what to do, not to be confusing but to be honest about your emotions... and you buy into it, where does that leave you. Say that all this emotional vulnerability happens to actually make you feel... well vulnerable? What if you then want to, after doing such a hard thing as letting your guard down, hear from someone that thats all alright... as you were told it would be. I don't think you can give preemptive sensitivity training to men assuming that we all shift naturally toward dominant and asshole and that we will be pulled back from that side. I think we take whatever we're taught and run with it full speed. What women actually want are one of two guys

    1) The Ugly duckling, who started off a wimp or loser and made himself confident.

    2) The reformed asshole, who started off an asshole but had a change of heart.

    These are the guys who have the most success but its kind of sad because both ways... its a really really stressful transition that a lot of guys can't make fully and leaves them with tons of issues. I don't think women really like guys any one way. You like us both, which impossible for us to start out as. you kind of demand that we go crazy at one point in our lives if we want to be successful with women.

  • Girls like jerks because of what society tells us..."nice guys are too nice and boring" and "jerks are fun and better lovers" guess what... that jerks is and always will b a jerk there's no long term love or security being with a jerk. Nice guys will grow with you and most of all keep their promise they made when they penetrated you... and that promise is simple: "i will not hurt u purposely and i will be secretive about our love and only share that love with you" a jerk can't even speak those type of words let alone live them... a nice guy doesn't have to try to live up to a promise because nice guys are truly nice guys...

  • Women are rubbish at judging character. They'll hate me for saying it but it's true. Men know women can be played like a fiddle. its because women are so eager to be accepted and be nice to people so they're not harsh enough and clinical enough looking for signs of a bad person. Men are harder in their approach and can spot subtle signs that a woman would miss. Befriending a man is much harder for a man than it is for a women. Once the friendship is established though it's usually rock solid. Women accuse some men of being dour or not much fun. Straight ones anyway. Men are just much more careful about who they open up to and what they let out. We can't afford to be as careless as women because the consequences are always far harsher for us. Everybody wears a 'mask' to strangers. They show us what we think we want to see so as not to alienate. You'll only see a persons true character when you are in a dependable situation with them

  • It's funny, girls go after the guys who are jerks and they treat good guys like cracp and take kindness for a weakness! lol the real question is, what does a woman really want? I think that bad boy thing is just a young woman's phase, As soon as she decides to put away the party life and really wants to invest in settling down she'll stop chasing the bad boys and go after someone who's calm and sweet and mature

    • very true u did it lion's way

    • Of course it would better if the girl didn't screw half the county first BEFORE looking for a good guy!

  • If she likes jerks then she isn't much of a nice girl.

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 46

  • Side note: you're not the "nice" one, you're the easy one. Everyones nice, they just don't make it their main attraction since they have lives that give them character, independence and confidence. Honestly, nobody goes for assholes unless they're completely insecure and feel that it's what they deserve... If that's the case, you deserve better anyways!
    But seriously, the ones that claim to be hated because they're the "nice" ones depend too much on others for happiness, too avaliable, and they are the only ones to bitch and moan about nobody liking them... basically begging for pity, not real chemistry.

  • People end up with jerks bc they are jerks. The only person who accepts being jerked around is a person who will also jerk , others around. So the behavior is reasonsble to them.

    A person who would never think of jerking someone around or waste their time would spot and be repelled by it coming from someone else.

    You can't smell a room that stinks when you stink too.

  • Im one of those girls that end up with a jerk. I met with a guy this summer on my last night at France and we have seen each other for only 15 minutes and kissed. It was just for having fun. But I found him on Facebook, we had chatted for a while and he was always complimenting to me. Tbh, he was looking like a nice guy. Even in France he convicted me to kiss like this:
    -Im so happy right now
    -cuz you are so beautiful
    -Really, I dont think like that
    -You are! What do you think about me?
    -what if I kiss you, would you believe that you are beautiful and be happy?
    And he kissed me. We were drunk ofcourse!
    But I tought I could remember it as a little romantic memory but I couldnt.
    He snaps me whenever he likes ( That means I snap more than him) and nowadays, he started to ignore my texts and snaps. He got bored. Ofcourse! Noone wants a long distance friend with benefits after a while! I get really angry sometimes to myself because of being too romantic and hoping to find the perfect guy. Being emotional breaks my heart, I feel so stupid.

    • Don't worry it happens

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    • Firstly he could be busy or distracted so I wouldn't take that to heart. Don't let one guy being dumb tear you down.

    • I dont think that he is always busy. When he wanted to snap, he did even he had to study. But he was texting me only for his satisfaction. He doesn't like me and I feel like a dumb.

  • Well, people are always quick to judge (these are the same people who say "don't judge!" on other topics that suit their needs). A lot of jerks or bad guys don't come out and say "Hey girl, I'm a jerk/bad guy, I'm gonna break your heart and stuff lolol" When I was in an abusive relationship, the guy acted very nice at first at a time when I was vulnerable (people prey on vulnerable people, thus 'nice girls', who are perceived as vulnerable). I didn't know he was a jerk or bad guy, I perceived him as a 'nice guy'.

    However, the ones who have obvious red flags everywhere... there's 2 reasons I find that girls go for them. 1.) They understand they'll probably get hurt, but they are desperate for love, so they fool themselves. 2.) Hollywood romanticizes 'bad boys' into that "good girl changes bad boy" love story, and people believe that happens in real life, that they can change them. Rarely happens. Women tend to be more sensitive to people with 'issues', so sometimes they want to 'fix' the person. It also has a lot to do with self-esteem, that's why it's sad that people shame these girls, as it makes the problem worse.

  • Every guy I've been with have come across as down to earth, lovely guys who highly respect women. I never picked up any red flags with any of them that made me think he was deep down, an ass hole. They start showing their true colours as the relationship starts failing and they don't want you any more. Then you hate yourself for spending any time with them and being fooled.
    My ex was absolutely perfect, he respected all women, he treated me like royalty, he was so in love with me etc now he's fucked off to sleep around and he cheated on me. These guys put a mask up and fool everybody, not just the girl they're chasing. He even admitted that after nearly two years together, there was another side to him that I didn't know about, that he intentionally hid from me!

    • Jerks are good in hiding.

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    • Unfortunately the part you're missing is that it isn't another side of him that is the only side. It's the side he chooses because it works for him. That's why it's good to be friends and determine what he's like before you get intimate. Also he clearly wasn't perfect. He acted like what you thought you wanted but you were wrong.

      I'd suggest you change your type because your type is lying back stabbers. This is of course assuming you aren't same way as well.

    • I'm nothing but good to guys I date. Yes I have bad days but I can accept responsibility. I don't back stab, lie, hide things, chat guys up or cheat but I get that shit back and worse. I honestly don't know what to do. I aim to date someone older than me, more mature and has respect for women but right now, I'm trying to get through this break up and appreciate being single. I just have to go through this constant shaking and stress first.

  • In my opinion, I think girls go for the more jerky kind of guys because they're the ones who seem more masculine. The overly sweet and sensitive guys seem more feminine, while the jerks come across as manly. It's not that we're choosing them because they're jerks, we choose them because the jerky side can easily come across as masculine. And not in a being a jerk makes you a man sort of way, it's that it can be mistaken for confidence and strength and ability to protect/provide. It's hard to explain but that's my best reasoning

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    • So any man who treats a woman with teasing, boorish disregard is automatically seen as masculine and attractive. And any man who treats a woman with utmost respect, kindness and courtesy is automatically seen as feminine and unattractive. If this really is how women "think", then there is no reason for men to be anything but JERKS! If women are not capable of appreciating respect, then there's no point in giving it to them.


    • First of all I said overly sweet. Not just kind in general. And I ALSO said that it can be mistaken for masculinity, please read my answer thoroughly before making comments like that.

  • I kinda agree... Those "nice" girls might be innocent or don't feel good about themselves and fall for them. Other girls might want a “bad boy” but would never give themselves up to a player because they know they’re worth more than that. I’ve never had my heart broken, I avoid players like the plague, even if they show genuine interest or their really popular.

  • most girls go for the alpha males... aka the d bags. I used to love the cocky guys bc you feel protected... thing is now I found a real man one who isn't a jerk one who is super special to me and super sweet. He makes me feel so much more safe around him than any of the d bags i was with

    • Alpha males aren't douchebags. Alpha males are dominant and do not need to talk loud to set the rulesrules and make themselves noticed.

      Douchebags are loud attention whores who try to act dominant and bitch like little girls if they don't get the attention their mommys told them they deserve.

    • @This_guy_here I totally agree, the "alpha males" i fell in love with, the immature "adult" jerks, were really not ALPHA they just appeared to be ALPHA, well in my search for my ALPHA male I had to deal with all the FAKE ALPHAS to know the REAL DEAL from the fake deal. I don't regret my experience with all the fake alpha males...

    • Who came up with this alpha male shit? There's men and there's wankers. What makes a man strong is decent principles and a big heart. Take my advice. It's vain men who cause women the most problems. Being vain carries a catalogue of bad side effects with it. Trust me

  • not all guys are the same, but we girls have to be careful about who we fall for... many guys take advantage of us because we tend to trust too much... but end of the day , not all boys are the same we just have to keep our eyes open for the right ones.

  • Truth indeed. The worst is when you believe they're a good guy and then they show their true colors but its too late cause you are and believe they want to change. This is why its important to be picky initially

  • Why is this subject even controversial? Many guys think girls don't have senses and can tell if you're being sincere. Good looking girls can tell the sincere nice guys from the feign nice guys, it's like telling the difference between red and blue.

    If you're a true nice guy, then I love you guys <3 But if you're a fake nice guy you're not worth anyone's time.

    I've also never been in a serious relationship because guys only really approach me because of how I look and never even care to take the time to learn about my interests, personality, etc. It's like talking to a wall with a smiley emojii painted on it, it's obviously fake.

    • This is nothing but a myth that desperately needs busting! Women think that they can tell with 100% accuracy if a man is being genuine by his level of conversational skills. This is simply not the case as level of social and conversational skills is NOT a reflection of interest but a reflection of time spent honing social skills.

      If you actually talk to pick up artists and the like they will brag that by simply bullshiting (being good at conversation) they can get almost any woman they want. They know this is virtually the only means by which many women evaluate men so they spend much of their time honing their bullshitting skills, meanwhile those of us who have jobs, hobbies, etc ., but aren't that good or creative with our conversations are rejected out of hand because women just "know" we aren't being real, even though we are.

      Also, if women can tell so accurately about which guys are real, how is it so many women have so many relationships where the guy turned out to be fake?

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    • But really, some girls like me just are waiting for the right time.

    • I almost have no idea how to respond to this. It's laughable. You base this, "Good looking girls can tell the sincere nice guys from the feign nice guys, it's like telling the difference between red and blue" on what? You've concocted this warped arrogant perception on apparently nothing. I don't even know where to start on how absurd this all is. You're young so I'll chalk it up to inexperience but I'd strongly suggest you be cautious I've seen plenty of girls say nonsense like this and fall flat on their faces plenty of times.

      Also, the only reason you haven't gotten burned yet is because you're being cautious and given your current mindset that's wise. It will probably only take once for your eyes to be opened, unfortunately.

  • Yep, this is spot on.
    My first BF was a fake nice guy, showed his true face when I wouldn't sext with him (I was innocent! But thank god I didn't, turns out he was cheating on me waaaaay back with a girl that did that with him ugh...)

  • I don't understand this, all girls are different some like danger loving boys and some like GEUININE guys, no one likes a door step or a fair wheather guy. It doesn't matter how nice she is herself, guys do the same. What you put out, you will get back. So if you let everyone take advantage of you whether your a guy or a girl then you'll more then likely have someone do the same in the dating field. Hopefully this take will make people stop with the questions ugh.

  • this was fucking retarded. https://i.imgur.com/xG6UulZ.jpg

  • you are what you attract, and that is a very scary thought. Why would a nice girl be with a jerk in the first place? I was with many jerks in my life, simply because I didn't realize that I was acting like a JERK myself. I was some "jerk" alright *pun intended*. IF I look back I didn't really want a bad boy or a guy who played it "cool" as you put it, I wanted stability and thought the "jerks" who appeared to be mature could give it to me. It is such bad FAIL if you confuse "maturity" for "stability"... because half of the jerks who I thought was mature, was really immature, acting like children in the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL of life.

  • ahh.. this is perfect..

  • I know right! So damn true.

  • I blame their parents. she must have learn to trust him without knowing that a man is a dog. If her father shows her too much of lame dog, then she would believe all men are like that. she could feel compassion about the sick dog but he is really hiding his teeth.

  • Wow. Reading this made me feel deep about this. I mean, I already felt strongly about this but I feel like I've seen this or been through this. I have a boyfriend and people call him a player and stuff. He doesn't seem like one and I trust him completely. I am keeping an eye out on him but how do you deal with this type of thing?

    • the point is you shouldn't need to keep an eye out on him... it's not how others see him... it's how you see him... if everyone sees him as a player and you don't... either you see the real him and should trust him... if you need to keep an eye on him... then you may be hiddi g the truth from yourself.. he might just be what people say... if you can't trust him totally.. then it's time to take a step back and look at the whole picture

  • Nice girls are always naive that's why we end up with jerks.. let's be jerks to end up with nice guys :P

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