Can i ever have a boyfriend? I'm shy, ugly and fat.. Help.. :) I know i sound desperate in my text here.?

Hello people. I know this is a lot of text, but pleeeease read.

I'm a 15 years old girl. And... I'm from Norway :) But i'm just thinking that i will never get a boyfriend beacause i'm fat, ugly and shy, especially around boys.. unfortunately. I am 5'5 and 144 lbs. I have such a round face (oval?), and i have these huge under eye bags i can't get rid of. :( When there are boys around me, i feel so big compared to them. I can admit that i have a beautiful and looong hair, but it's not a lot of volume in it and that highlights the ugly shape of my face and its ugliness. I'm fine with my body from the hips and up to my neck, but i have kinda small breasts. But my feet, they are so short and huge:(
I do have a little big butt... you know.. i workout ;) I don't have a so good personality (my opinion :)) I don't know what my friends think of my personality... I don't have a beautiful smile even if i have used braces. I'm a nail biter (unattractive). that was kinda it :) And also i'm going to tell you something else. Once my older brother (2 years older) brought his good friend home. and at once i saw him i fell in love. This happened like 3-4 years ago. I did actually talk to him. But at that time i was veeery ugly. i'm not that ugly now, but i'm still not beautiful. So, last year i we went to the same school. He used to say hi to me, but i was shy and didn't reply, i just smiled. everytime he was around i was suuuper duper shy. i didn't say a word. And after that year i went to a new school, because i moved to a another country. We have talked a little on facebook. but we don't have log convos there or something. just a hi now and then. he was really popular at the school we both went to, and all the girls flirted with him, and i was just a loner there. And he is so nice and gorgeous <3 i don't think he likes me though.. In public i feel like a lot of boys look at me, but i don't know. I have never had a boy friend (like... a friend). can someone give me advices?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Helloooo :)

    I think a lot of why you don't feel like you will get a boyfriend stems from your evident insecurities about yourself. Trust me unless you're a model with loads to spend on cosmetics and clothes then NO ONE ever looks perfect, we all have little things about ourselves we hate. It's just learning to overcome those and feeling confident as a whole, imperfections and all.

    Firstly, let's target a few things you don't like about yourself. Yes, we shouldn't have to change ourselves to meet a guy, but we should feel confident enough to talk to them and feeling good and attractive is feeling confident. For your height you are at the top end of a healthy weight so if you want to feel sexier try losing a few pounds and see how it affects the areas you aren't so confident with. It's amazing how knocking off a bit of weight can change the shape of your face and legs etc. With heavy bags under your eyes try using a cosmetic concealer. I use new CID i-conceal, use it under your eyes...voila! No eye bags ;) Enhance and show off the features you love about yourself, get your hair done now and then and treat yourself to a manicure and get some tips on how to keep your nails healthy and clean..I hate my butt! haha I wish I had a great butt to show off in jeans sometimes, so treat yourself to a nice pair of jeans and learn to feel good about yourself. Breasts and feet, there aren't always magical solutions to change everything about ourselves, we're given what we're given and guys really won't notice the size of your feet so please don't run off with the notion that all these things are of great importance to a guy :)

    In terms of guys, approach guys similar to yourself personality wise. Make conversation with guys in your class, relax, be yourself and be kind and that's a great way to start interacting with them :) That should boost your confidence enough to feel more at ease flirting if you like one in particular ;)

    Good luck and be happy you're you! :)


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What Guys Said 4

  • 165 cm with 65 kg? Not thin, but not fat. You're at the higher range of normal. If you really don't like your body, you can always do more physical activity. Make sure you don't starve yourself, that is unhealthy. If you had posted a picture, it would have been easier to determine if you're at least remotely right, but you seem to be overly harsh against yourself.

    Learn to love yourself for who you are. Self-loathe really is unattractive, but not because of a "lack of confidence", but because you would be rejecting positive words. And really, most of this stuff you mentioned about your physique is superficial, and there's at least 1 person out of 40 who would find it attractive...

    • Just don't rely on makeup to make yourself look "better". I really hate makeup, most people look worse with it.

  • You're only 15 years old. You're still growing and will be until age 18-19. Also your face is still in the process of changing into its adult form, which you won't notice fully until you hit your 20s. The fact that you're working out will certainly help you as well. And don't worry about dating in your teenage years, most guys are only after one thing, you'll meet better men down the road who care more about you than your looks.

    Based on your description you don't sound like you're too bad looking, you could have a really pretty face and just not know it. Just keep at the exercise, stay healthy, and try to feel more comfortable about yourself. a lot of girls I knew in high school that were considered fat/unattractive ended up ageing well, some of them have even gone on to become models (and no, this isn't a joke).

    One of these girls had a crush on me in high school. She had a pretty face and she was an absolute sweetheart, but she was a bit overweight and being as shallow as I was back then I shunned her (also partly because I didn't want to get judged by other guys for dating the "fat" girl). Then by the end of high school she ended up losing the weight and had the body to match her face. In hindsight I feel like an idiot, but there's a lesson to be learned from this.

    All the best to you, I'm sure you will age well. :)

    • Thanks for your answer! :) it was really helpful :)

  • The first thing you need to do is to realize that feeling bad about all this won't help you overcome them.
    Keep working out and change your eating habits. Most men prefer rounded and nice shaped butts and breasts rather than larger ones. 144lbs at 5'5 is not actually that bad, but losing a few pounds would increase your overall attractiveness.
    Long hair is good, DON'T CUT IT. And the only men who look at feet are the ones into foot fetish.

    As for personality, most girl are shallow and vapid. Picking a few hobbies that interest you would already make you above average, personality wise.

    I'd encourage you to post a picture. A lot of girls underestimate their looks and are more prettier than they realize. Funny how the rest of them do the exact opposite and vastly overestimate them.

    Lastly, some people are in fact uglier than others. You ultimately play with the hand you've been dealt with, and you shouldn't aim for the top, most attractive men.

  • you might be underestimating yourself. Or not.

    One thing to remember is most of the guys your age are going to grow a lot more while you are probably about done. So your relative size is a short term issue. I think I was maybe 1" taller at 15 then you and by 18 I was 6'3".


What Girls Said 2

  • You will change as time goes on. I knew a girl that I went to chinese school with on saturdays and she was really ugly at the age of 10 but 5 years later at the age of 15, she looked like a SUPERMODEL!!! And now 12 years later she is still drop dead gorgeous - even better looking than before - but she's not very smart. I have good looking relatives and smart relatives - the smart ones get married in 6-8 months - the good looking ones get married in 6 - 8 years of looking for somebody to be with. What matters is brains.

  • You're only don't need to worry :).
    Its good you work out. Your weight isn't bad. Maybe loose some, but you're not huge by any means. And just so you know, loosing weight is mostly determined by what you eat. And of you eat better, you feel better :)
    I used to be really shy too. But really, its all you. You just have to tell yourself that you're human and you're equal to everyone. So you don't have to worry what they think. It's just pushing yourself slightly out of your comfort zone.
    You'll get there

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