Is she losing interest or just getting more comfortable?

[Phil4Real]

Hey Everyone,

So, I've been talking to this girl for about a month and a half now. We get along well and I'm on the verge of liking her a lot (we've made out, held hands, etc).

However, it seems like her communication has waned since we first started talking. For example, for the first couple weeks she'd respond immediately, initiate texts, immediately call back etc.

Now, her responses to my texts are delayed (more than what they used to be) and it takes longer for her to call back. I know she's really busy with work, but not any busier than she was when we first started talking. And at this point, I've basically clearly expressed that I'm pretty into her (told her she's beautiful, ask her out frequently, etc.).

Do you think her decrease in communication because she's losing interest or because she's more comfortable so she doesn't respond as fast? Or do you think it's something else or that I'm over thinking it?

Also, do you think I should slow down on the communication with her a this point to see how she reacts? Thanks in advance.

[VictoRIAWR]

From my perspective, I don't think she's losing interest. She seems as if she's more likely going back to her daily routine, because she feels comfortable with you. As much as you have gained her trust, she gained yours.

I don't think you should worry. The problem would be if she would become very distant, both physically and mentally. When you both go on a date together, see if she's somehow distant, uninterested.

But honestly, 'doubt' is something we all go through when we're starting to get comfortable with someone. Even this girl your talking about might be pondering over the same matters.
If you feel like talking to her about it, do it... when you're ready.

[VictoRIAWR]

Solely accorded to what you wrote.

[Phil4Real]

Thanks! That makes me feel better about everything. She doesn't seem distant when we're together so that's a good thing. I guess I'll just chill, let things develop and talk to her about what's to come, when the time comes. :)

[PastyIrishKid]

There could be several answers to your question. It could be that she knows the chase is basically over and she doesn't have to "try" as hard. You don't have anything to worry about unless she doesn't text you at all for a few days, and even then, you can't get too antsy because she may have had a family emergency or something.

Just define the relationship to see where you stand. Obviously if she wants to date you exclusively, she's probably just comfortable & will text you when she gets around to it.

[Phil4Real]

K. Thanks! By define the relationship do you mean ask her where we stand/if she wants to be exclusive? Or to just keep going on dates with her and letting what happens, happen naturally?

[PastyIrishKid]

Yes, ask her where you stand. Don't be so overbearing about it, but like, "I think you know by now that I like you & I want to see if we have a shot at something real..."

[aficionado]

I certainly feel that she is losing interest in you. It could be due to several reasons. If you've been doing the same stuff which you did when you met her, she might have found them interesting back them, but may be bored now. And since you both aren't in a relationship yet, she maybe fancying some other guy right now.

Anyway, these are just assumptions. The best thing to do now, would be to just ask her in person (NEVER phone or texts) about what actually is happening with her. This will end all speculation, and you'll know if you need to stick with her, or move on.

[Phil4Real]

K. Thanks! I'll definitely do that the next time I meet up with her!

[aficionado]

You're most welcome!

[Phil4Real]

You were right. She just told me today (after I asked her out 3 days ago) that she's really busy and that I shouldn't expect anything to happen between us and that she doesn't want to "hold me back" from talking to other girls. Next time, when I get an inkling I'll just stop talking to the girl then. lol

[aficionado]

Thanks for MHO. I'm glad that my hunch turned out to be true, but at the same time a bit unhappy because it didn't work out for you with the girl. Anyway, since she isn't seeing anyone right now, you still have a window of opportunity when she DOES become free. That is, if both of you are single at that point. But I wouldn't really bank on that, though.

[Phil4Real]

Yea, I'm just gonna take her as a loss and move on to the other girls I've been talking to. lol

[aficionado]

That's the spirit! At least you have been talking to other girls, so you're not short of options anyway! Cheers!