I haven't heard from him in 5 days, is it time to delete his number?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy in the beginning of July and things have been going well. We went on a date and hung out. We got along really well. The second time we hung out things got intense between us but I didn't have sex with him because I thought it would be too soon. And I wanted to make sure that he wasn't just interested in sex. He didn't seem upset, he smiled and held me and stayed and watched the movie with me. The next day I texted him and explained to him why I didn't have sex with him that day and that I think he is a great person who is intelligent, hardworking and more. I told him that I want to keep him around because I like him as a person and I didn't want to just use him for sex, I wanted him to be more. He seemed fine after I said all of that as well. He still texted me everyday or every other day to see how I was doing and to just talk to me and he told me that he missed me. But about a week later I don't know it seems like he started to become a little distant or disappeared. I talked to him last Tuesday (July 29th). On Tuesday he was fine, he was laughing and the mood was good. Its been 5 days since then and I haven't heard from him. I texted him about 3 times and I even called once. But he hasn't gotten back to me yet. I went on instagram and it said he posted one picture like 2 days ago and followed 3 new people. I feel ignored and a bit upset with him. I try to give people benefit of the doubt and try to be understanding. I tried to think that maybe something happened in his life that caused him to be MIA. But I don't know, I don't know what to think. I feel like if someone likes you it wouldn't take 5 days to get back to you. Maybe I'm being a little impatient? Or do I have every right to feel the way I do? Should I wait for him to get back to me and see what he says, or should I just delete his number?

[vmw2008]

It's hard to say what he was after. Sex may have been a big part of it, in which case, no harm no foul. However, it might've been that you explained a bit too much on the holding out piece. You didn't know him all that well when you explained how you wanted things to be "more." In his mind, that might've been too soon for you to be thinking so long-term. And at the same time, telling him he won't be getting sex BECAUSE of that. You were almost saying, "Hey if I didn't really like you, we'd be having sex." That's not what a guy wants to hear.

You didn't need to explain anything about the sex or your feelings at that point. Any smart guy would understand why you didn't put out on date number 2. If you felt you had to explain, all you had to say was that you don't move so quickly. That's it. I think what I stated above made him unsure of whether the whole thing was worth it.

[Asker]

Hmm I see. Maybe I did explain too much. But if he really liked me I think he would understand where I was coming from and that I didn't mean any harm by what I said, and that what I said was something positive. But I understand what you're saying. I guess he's gone =/

[ArabianPwincess197]

Lol this random guy added me on Tango, we talked for about 2 days and then he kept asking for my pic - so I showed him. We talked for another day or 2. Then he started ignoring my texts. So I just said "If you don't wanna talk just say so". He replied he's become religious and it was nice talking to you sister xD but he wob't talk to girls anymore. It was pretty funny as I knew he was lying.
I think the situation is the same - he waiting for you to get the message he doesn't want to contact you anymore :(

[Asker]

That's cool I guess. I'll just stop contacting him if that's the case. I don't even know if I should send the same message that you sent and say "If you don't wanna talk just say so" or if I should just disappear and never say a word to him again lol

[ArabianPwincess197]

I was gonna say you should but decided against it - I think just leave it - he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want to keep in touch

[Uneeded]

Waiting is painful i just deleted every convo i had with him, trust me it hurts but , when a guy doesn't care he really dont care.. reality sucks but.. cheer up.. on the bright side, maybe he's just busy.. and needed some time alone

[Asker]

Maybe

[Socal1]

"Maybe I'm being a little impatient?" -

Under the circumstances, not at all.

"Or do I have every right to feel the way I do?" -

Yes.

"Should I wait for him to get back to me and see what he says, or should I just delete his number?" -

Delete. Even the President of the United States could've returned a text to you by now. Unless this guy signed up for Doctor's without Borders last minute, he is history.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I'd send him one more text:

Hi [name], been fun talking to you, you seem interesting, but I'm deleting you from my contact list as it doesn't seem to be going anywhere

[Asker]

lol that won't make me sound salty?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

If he's fine with no longer speaking to you, why worry about the impression it gives?

[Asker]

That is very true

[Anjellygirlyeah]

why waste your time to let him know?

[Scorpio1]

I agree- it gives both of you closure so that it's not just "hanging out there".

[zadams1404]

My gut says he may have been in it for the sex. He may have been ok with not doing it that first time but if you haven't done it by now, he may have given up on you putting out

[Asker]

So he just wanted sex from me? =/ That's a shame I liked him as a person and wanted to build things with him.

[zadams1404]

Maybe not JUST sex but a lot of guys like to do it early even in a relationship. And maybe a month was too long for him

[Asker]

That's sad =/

[zadams1404]

He's just in a place where he doesn't want a relationship. Lots of guys do it but there are plenty of guys who are ready to lock it down

[Asker]

Hopefully I'll find one of those

[Asker]

And if you're not ready for that why not just tell the person that? Why run away instead?

[zadams1404]

Just easier that way, if he just wanted you for sex then why would he reveal his feelings to you ya know? It's just easier to get out than have to explain why

[kindgirl21]

He wanted sex only forget him. At the time he was ok but then he relised he's an impatient pig who can not wait. Delete his number

[Asker]

Yea =/ I'm starting to think that too. It's a shame though because he is missing out on something and someone amazing, all he had to do was wait. But I guess people have different wants and priorities. I'm glad I didn't give it up so easily. What if I did sleep with him and he still disappeared like he is now. I would be even more upset.

[kindgirl21]

Most guys can not wait. He is not worth it at all. Yeah exactly forget the jerk

[Anonymous]

He might have gotten tired of waiting for a shot of leg and moved on to easier pickings.

[Asker]

That's sad =/

[ElyselovesTswift]

maybe he's really busy or he lost his phone. you never know...

[Asker]

I guess only time will tell

[Anonymous]

I think you're being a little impatient

[Asker]

So I shouldn't just cut him off just yet?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I'd give it a bit longer. I guess it depends on the guy, but I dunno, I don't really spend much time texting at all, and I'm usually very busy, so after I first met my wife I don't think I texted her for a week or three. To me that means nothing. But after reading a few questions like yours on this site I've started to think it might have been why some other girls I dated gave up on me previously.

@"I told him that I want to keep him around because I like him as a person"

I'm not sure what wording you used but that might have given the impression that he was being friendzoned.

[Asker]

I wasn't trying to friend zone him I even told him that I would like more with him. If he got that impression maybe he misunderstood me. And I don't know, I guess everyone is different. I just don't get how someone has time to post pictures online but not reply back to you.