We aren't dating yet, but I saw him with another woman. What should I do?

[sailors_girl]

I had sex with this guy last Tues and Wed. We had a great time, he texts me all the time and we get along great. But we are not dating yet, but I want to. Today he said that he wanted to see me but the kids (4) were spending the night. So he made plans with me for this coming Tuesday. Then 2 hours or so later I saw him in Walmart ( I was with my 16 yr old son) he was with another woman, and no kids around. About 20 minutes after I saw him he texts me ( he was most likely still with her) and said something about the kids being in the car and they were fighting etc. I per my sons advice played it off and talked to him. He text me for the next hour or so, I'm sure she was with him. He did not mention her at all and I didn't either. My son tells me I don't have a right to be mad because we aren't dating, he said I should still go over there on Tuesday and spend time with him and prove to him I'm the better woman. He is a really awesome guy and we have a great time together. I want a relationship with him but now feel stupid because I saw him with someone else. Were the kids really in the car? Who knows.

[rjroy3]

Honestly, your son has a great mom that raises a young man with a good head on his shoulders. Listen to his advice. You two are not together, so you have no right to be mad. Even if the kids weren't in the car and he is in fact seeing this women, he has every right to do that. Just like you have the right to see other men.
If a relationship is what you want, you need to show him that being in a relationship with you would feel amazing and be the best decision he ever could make. Go on that date. Have a great time and just make sure that every time he is with you all he can think about is how great he feels. Other girls don't matter, so you have no reason to talk with him about him.

[sailors_girl]

I was thinking just that. There is so much chemistry between us we both felt it the first time we met. On my birthday (sept 6th) I was dating someone at the time who was not at the bonfire because we had gotten into an argument just before we were to leave, so he went home. I met this new guy we talked and laughed but no contact had been made till my other relationship dissolved. We have such a connection, I know I could make him forget about other woman. Thank you so much! !

[rjroy3]

*nods* I wish you the best : )

[sailors_girl]

Thank you!! :)

[Anonymous]

I think your son was right at first about trying to play it off that you didn't see him. I also think your son is right about you not having the right to be mad, however, I don't think your son is right in that you should see him so easily. If he was open about him talking to another lady, then sure, you son would be right, but the fact that he never mentioned it... Tells me that he's just trying to have his cake and eat it too... Trying to fulfill his sexual desires without caring about the feelings of the women he gets with.

[sailors_girl]

Do you think I should cancel Tuesday with him and say something came up? Make him work a bit to be with me?

[sailors_girl]

He knows I saw him because we said hi to each other.

[Opinion Owner]

If you already made plans, then I'd say it's too late to cancel. But after Tuesday I would try and play a bit harder to get and on Tuesday make him work to get anywhere sexual with you. He may think he'd be able to have sex with you with ease on Tuesday because of your last two visits you guys had sex. So, by playing a bit harder to get to get anywhere sexual that should give him the hint that you're not going to be used for his sexual desires and that he will have to earn it with you.

[sailors_girl]

Hmmm good idea. I like your answer. I will do just that! Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome!

[Anonymous]

Stop being a jealous stalker. You said you aren't together yet, so he has a right to go out with other women. Are you one of those women who get jealous if their boyfriends even glance at another girl? You're already getting jealous of someone you're not serious with. Funny how your 16 year old son is smarter than you. No wonder your single.

[sailors_girl]

I wasn't stalking him I was in Walmart in the check out line. He was in the next. I had no clue he was there!!!

[Najii]

Do you think that could be his wife? Did he tell you he has a wife? What if he is cheating on her by being with you? Maybe whenever he brings up his kids try asking about their mother if you don't already know about it.

[sailors_girl]

He and his wife are divorced and have been for 6 years. That I know, and we had sex at his place. So I do know they aren't together anymore.

[Najii]

Then maybe that women you saw in Walmart was someone just trying to talk to him or say hi?

[sailors_girl]

He was at the checkout and she was pushing the cart. So that made me feel she was with him.

[Najii]

Oh, then maybe they are together.

[Najii]

I don't think you should go to see him, not so easily. Keep playing it off like you didn't see anything but don't see him very easily. Keep talking to him, maybe he'll tell you more things about himself? It will help you get closer to him as well and you don't want him to be sleeping with another girl one day and the next with you. It's just... I don't know even if you guys are friends with benefits

[sailors_girl]

True... I should make him put forth an effort to be with me. Make him work for me.

[Najii]

Exactly, until you know he has put a lot of effort. Otherwise it's hard to turn that into an actual relationship. Well, good luck!

[sailors_girl]

Thank you! I appreciate your response!

[PhiOmega]

don't put yourself through hell for his pleasure, I'm sure he is a great guy, but you desire a relationship and you have the right to be up front with him about that, you seem like a great chick, I assume the relationship has developed to the point where u can sit down and talk to him about what direction the relationship is going in, if he's at a point in his life where he's not ready to date u need to figure out

[sailors_girl]

I did ask him before we ever went out if he was looking for a booty call or a relationship. He said he was looking for a relationship but was testing the waters. He says he really likes being with me and is highly attracted to me.

[PhiOmega]

well, I believe him, trust unless he gives you a reason not to, I'm not one for playing the field, so I wouldn't know, if I'm taking one girl out I'd rather keep it to just one

[sailors_girl]

Thank you. I wish all guys were like you!! :)

[PhiOmega]

awww ur too sweet! I wish all the girls were like you :P

[Anonymous]

She might just be a friend. I have female friends that I hang out with one on one but it's nothing more than friendship. I've always wondered how a girl I was seeing would react if I bumped into her while I was spending time with me friend. My friend is from overseas she doesn't have many friends here , so I like to make her feel welcome in my country by showing her places to go ect. They seriously might just be friends

[sailors_girl]

They could be, I don't know. He never said anything. But he made contact with me right away.

[CalvinClinton]

not have sex with a man you are not dating. he has every right to see other woman and not tell you if you are not dating

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I think your son is right