Do people who are hopeless with women, end up single forever?

[Anonymous]

Honest answers please. I mean those who can't talk to women, have little confidence with them etc.

Yes, unless they change

No, they'll still find someone

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

Women are largely going to tell you there's someone for everyone and that you'll get someone eventually.

Well, when you are the passive sex in dating, that's a risk you can afford to take--hence the reason many women believe in things like "fate" and zodiac signs, etc (huge generalization, I know, beside the point for a moment). But you are the active sex, it means you're going to have to take some responsibility for the things you want to have in your life and proactively seek them out (more women need to do this is as well).

Understand that dating is a skill and art--it's something you can learn and master, regardless of your current skill level. Doesn't matter if you aren't confident now or have poor conversational skills now--improve them. Test, test, test, see what gets results, always be changing what you do.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they would die alone.
Unless they're really pretty, or get really lucky.
I didn't have the balls to talk to girls, until one day, I realized that I would still be alone, 5 years from now. And I would simply die alone. That was frightening for me, and that fear pushed me to overcome my shyness.
Almost a year later, and I confirm, with absolute certainty, that I would have died alone. Thankfully, I made some changes.

[Asker]

What kind? How?

[Opinion Owner]

You mean what changes I made? First I really really had to push myself to talk to 2-3 girls per day, and have a 1-3 minute conversation with them. I went out on my university campus, for about 2 months and I couldn't talk to anyone. But one day I decided not to go home, and not to eat anything, until I've talked to someone. I much preferred to die than to live like that. By the end of the day, I was so hungry and exhausted that it just seemed easier to just talk to a girl, no matter how awkward or bad and frightening it was. I did it, and she was much nicer than I thought. Ever since then, I talked to a few girls everyday, and I tried to improve one thing about me.

[Opinion Owner]

For example, for a couple of days, I only focused on eye contact. For one day, I focused on reducing the distance between me and the girl I'm talking to. One day I focused on teasing the girl. And I improved one day at a time. I've been on a few dates, and getting dates has become much easier for me. Not the easiest but doable.

[xPoison]

There is someone out there for everyone. As many time that you've heard it, its the truth.

If you're an introver, you're lower the possibility. There's certain factors that contribute in opening doors and others... not so much.

[MatthewCurtis]

i disagree i genuinely believe that there are people in the world who just die alone. i think i am gonna be one of those. instead of people trying to fill my head with magic i would much prefer being told that yeah the chances of me finding someone are very very slim, so the advice that there is someone for everyone, i feel is just getting hopes up for no good reason

[xPoison]

What's with the thumbs down? Smh. Its such pessimistic attitude that won't do you any good in life. People have to take control of their own life, and see what works in their favor and what doesn't. In life, you should try being the best person you can be because no one will do it for you.

[MatthewCurtis]

im sure we will all agree here that we all try to be the best we are. thats not really relevant to this topic. by not getting my hopes up i am taking control of my life and not letting anyone tell me differently. i have accepted this fact

[xPoison]

@MatthewCurtis your goal is to be the best person you can be. Once you've done that, your outlook in life would be more optimistic. The fact you mentioned "slim" tells me you know there is little hope, but is not really "little" if you put yourself out there more. Like I said, there's many factors that can lead in opening doors, whether it making yourself look better, educating yourself more, a job, a degree, and then there's other factors that aren't even good. You even see drug dealers with gf, and u are telling me there's not really a chance for you to find someone...

[MatthewCurtis]

but what you are saying there is that i need to make changes. thats why we voted yes. we know that the versions of us are, right now, inadequate. you see im just one of those guys that never gets liked by girls. thats just who i am. i either need to change who i am or be the best version of who i am right now. thats the choice i have. i know you are being very kind by saying these things so i thank you for it, but i disagree

[xPoison]

@MatthewCurtis what I mean by change, is becoming the better version of you. If we are speaking about looks or sense of fashion, you can absolutely change that to something NEW and most importantly to YOUR LIKINGS still. There nothing wrong in renewal, as long as you come to like this new change.

[xPoison]

Now of you're changing your outer appearance to something you don't like just to get a females attention, then that's wrong.

[MatthewCurtis]

and what if that has been tried over and over again? some people just end up classed as unlovable by the opposite sex. it happens. this is real

[xPoison]

@MatthewCurtis I'm not going to say you're doing something wrong because you're possibly not. I say give it time and not search for it. Usually when you search for something, for some ODD REASON, its just doesn't appear in the blue. When you're not searching, that's when it just does. Its just life! Like I said, everyday try bringing the best r of you, and some girl will be there to notice that :)
Just don't lose confidence, that's primarily what attract us. We are alarm by that

[MatthewCurtis]

i thank you for the advice, but that was lost ages ago. interesting talk i wish you the best :)

[xPoison]

@MatthewCurtis lol spray some Axe spray :p

But in all seriousness, that confidence can arise from you anytime aslong as you chose too. But I guess we discussed enough and I do wish you the best. Good luck :)

[MatthewCurtis]

haha those adverts are lies!!! confidence doesn't just come like that though. thank you and good luck

[abundantlyrich]

Yes. These are people who cannot think out of their boxes and uses their negative traits like a form of identity that is etched on to their souls forever.

[MatthewCurtis]

are you saying you would vote yes?

[abundantlyrich]

@mathewcurtis why would you care?

[MatthewCurtis]

im just a little confused by your comment

[abundantlyrich]

@mathewcurtis ill leave you to ponder about that.

[Ballerinasinger3]

funny how all the girls said theyll find someone and all the guys said they won't get a girl lol, hmmm...

[Riverock]

Doesn't necessarily mean the guys are wrong ;)

[Ballerinasinger3]

but if the GIRLS are saying that GIRLS would find him attractive and GUYS are saying that GIRLS won't find him attractive, which would you think a more direct source?

[Asker]

Guys. More realistic assessment. Girls tend to give a sympathetic assessment

[Ballerinasinger3]

but wouldn't a girl know better what a girl would do?

[Asker]

Tbh, not really. If you were actually faced with that situation, you'd think differently.

[Riverock]

@Ballerinasinger3 What I meant to say was that a guy like that would never get 'started' with women. He'd never make a move or approach a girl, not without messing up somehow.

Would you really see past all that? I'm genuinely curious because you're probably right that the girls might be the best source wrt this.

[Ballerinasinger3]

i honestly think that just because someone is "hopeless" with somen does not mean theyll be alone forever. i think a person will be able to improve their social skills over time, and some women may even see that as endearing that he is kinda clumsy around women and actually find that cute

[Asker]

Chances of that are very low thinking realistically.

[Ballerinasinger3]

like @xPoison said, thats only if you lower your own chances

[Anonymous]

The world is full of chance. You MAY find someone that looks past your insecurities, or has similar insecurities and finds them to be normal. You MAY also push away everyone that you have an interest in because they don't want to get involved with you and your emotional baggage.

So you can sit and hope that someone comes along that will put up with what you've got going on. But wouldn't you want to make your chances exponentially better? Not just for finding a girlfriend, but just living a happy and fulfilling life. I see a lot of people in the world who sit and let their own fears get the better of them, keeping them paralyzed with anxiety and regret with improvement rarely (if ever) happening for them.

Considering you DO have the power to stand up and put the work necessary in to make your life better, why would you not want to do that?

[Sbsjdbdbf]

I'm almost positive the person who downvoted you is a trade mark nice guy.

[Anonymous]

If he makes some positive changes to his life, it will be a lot better for him. Without him changing? It depends on a number of factors.
1. How low are they willing to settle. Without even knowing you I can promise there are morbidly obese women with 6 kids and a bad attitude that would have you.
2. How lucky he is that the right woman just falls into his life, and accepts all of his flaws.
3. How many women he is actually meeting. If he never meets any single women his chances are zero.
4. What kind of desperate measures he is willing to take. Just about any guy with a decent job can find a bride from a third world country online.

[abzence]

Most men don't have the luxury to just sit and wait around for a girl to come around and do their thing. It's usually just girls who have that luxury.

If a guy have no confidence to instigate a conversation with a girl then the chances of him getting a girl are slim. Of course there are girls who do the approaching and all that but they are the exception to the rule.

[Theguyoverthere]

I voted B but I don't think they end up with a quality person. I think they potentially end up with a clinger and then it falls apart. I think guys who are hopeless with women focus insanely hard on building a relationship and it scares off the typical person, but attracts another hopeless girl and they both end up extremely clingy with each other. This means the relationship's either super good, or insanely horrifying... or even both.

[MatthewCurtis]

i am one of those and have never been close to being with a girl i like, so i suspect not. unless they change

[front2back]

If it's something that's pushing women away (no confidence, for example), then yes.

[Shut_Up_And_Marry_Me]

Yes, unless they change.