Is social anxiety a deal-breaker?

If someone had social anxiety, would that be an automatic deal-breaker when it comes to dating? Like... I have a hard time leaving the house on the weekend some days (work isn't a problem, and once I've left the house, I can usually be active the rest of the day too), I strongly prefer one-on-one activities, feel really uncomfortable in large groups, and can be awkward. I get stressed (sometimes to the point of tears) if I've been very social or feel like I've said something stupid, but I wait until I'm alone to show it so I don't make it worse for anyone else.

If you liked the rest of my personality, would the anxiety be a deal-breaker? I would really appreciate polite, but honest answers. Thanks!

Something I probably should've mentioned: I'm good at talking to people in general, and I'm friendly. Socializing is just a major source of stress unless I'm comfortable around the people I'm with.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you were honest and open about and I liked you then it wouldn't matter at all. It just that it would be very difficult for you to do that. I'd be completely understanding of what you go through, you'd just have to tell me. To be honest if I liked the rest of your personality it would be completely shallow of me to reject you for something like social anxiety. I'd try to work through it with you. You'll find someone who is understanding.

    • If you don't mind me asking, do you have any ideas about how I could be open and honest about it? I never lie about it, but I also never know how or when to bring it up.

    • I would say bring it up when you feel most hindered by it. It will put you at ease. You don't even have to be real serious about it. You could make a joke about it or just mention it like "I can be really shy at times." Don't worry about what you say when you get alone. Most people won't be over analyzing everything you say word for word. Embrace your shyness. Good Luck!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Not at all but that's because Im the same way. I can hold a conversation and enjoy talking with people but I'm just anxious about it at times especially if it's people who I don't well. I'm also not into big crowds or crazy parties but small groups are cool.

    We could not leave the house together :)

    • Thanks for the answer. Not leaving the house together is my favorite couple activity, haha.

  • Depends in the severity. If they can't hold/carry a conversation then it'd be a dealbreaker in the sense that I'd get bored and feel pressure of always coming up with stuff to say.

    • Totally understandable. Thanks for answering!

  • Yup Deal breaker. But I mean its totally something you can work on so don't feel sad.

    • I'm not sure how much this can really improve, unfortunately. I'm getting help, but I'll definitely never be a social butterfly, you know? Anyway, thank you for answering honestly. I appreciate it!

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