Am I waiting for something that doesn't exist?

Question

I want a relationship but am waiting for someone I click with right away. Someone who I immediately feel comfortable with and don't feel a need to impress them. I want me and someone to just like each other and not have to worry about the bs that comes along with dating. Not worry about how we are supposed to proceed but just enjoy each other's company. I just want to end up spending more and more time with someone and we end up realizing we like each other. Can this even happen? I feel like a stupid kid waiting to meet the perfect person. I don't want perfection just someone that I naturally connect with. Is this really or am I being stupid? Should I just pick a random cute girl and be her boyfriend or wait for the person I click with?

existing_not_living · Accepted Answer

What you want is not unrealistic at all. I have instantly clicked with many people and hung out with them or talked with them so frequently that we did realize we had feelings for one another. There were some that took some time for me to realize my feelings.

Sometimes an instant click is not always what you'll get. I've had other times where there were people who I either didn't like or was not interested in at all or didn't really care to get to know them, but once I did, then I fell for them.

With my best guy friend, we had an instant click. Now, I am not saying that I have feelings for him nor does he for me, but we constantly get told that we should date or are asked if we already are. Many people including my girl best friend and my best guy friend think that I may be crushing on him because of the way I am around him or the fact that I get jealous when he flirts with this one girl, and I'll admit that I've pondered over whether I do like him too, but I really don't believe so. Many of my friends, family members and even my bus driver 😂😂😂 thinks that he likes me too, but I really doubt that. I don't believe we will end up together, but really, who knows what the future has in store for our relationship with each other.

I hope you do find what you are looking for. It's not impossible.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes it can happen, yes you are being stupid. You don't need to be a player by any means but you need to know how to attract a woman. I'm not talking just about being nice, I'm talking about dressing well, good hygiene, I'm talking about when to flirt, having a fast, witty sense of humor, when to make a move and a whole assortment of behaviors and habits that you don't always just automatically know. You should date, learn and self-improve. Yes it can be tedious at first but it's a learning process. If you don't have a reasonable idea of what you're doing, then you're just being unrealistic in expecting it to just happen. In practicing, you will change yourself into a person whose personality this is more likely to happen to on it's own. And what if you meet a wonderful woman and she loses interest because you never went further, or you tried to go further but were awkward about it? What you have is a nice fantasy, but it's a fantasy and it's not likely to happen on its own.

The_Technomancer · Accepted Answer

Waiting is a much better idea then jumping on the first person who seems only "ok" in your eye. By that I mean people who try to get into a relationship with someone just because they have just a few things in common (that aren't that strong in the first place) or if the person just doesn't look as bad as other people you've seen. Keep your expectations hi and keep waiting and don't forget to be yourself. Having someone become interested in you for doing what you love is the best way to find "the one".

mistninja314 · Answer

"Someone who I immediately feel comfortable with and don't feel a need to impress them." FOR that to happen you're going to have to find a girl that likes you. More time than not they're also going to be a lot cooler personality wise for/towards you it seems ^6

SunDevil11 · Answer

I would love something like this as well in a relationship. I feel like it is not completely unrealistic, but at the same time it will probably not be something that just clicks. Also I doubt there is a way to get around the dating BS. Go out and make friends and meet girls and you might just find that kind of girlfriend.

ShyGuy30 · Answer

No you're not stupid and there is a girl out there who you will click with straight away don't settle with a random cute girl wait for someone who you should be with. You're the same age as me and Im in the same boat id rather be single and wait for someone who is right for me than to settle with someone just to be in a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

I've never met a girl I liked and not upped my game around her and tried to impress. I think the effort is necessary as it's part of the chase and build up to getting together.