How to reassure my insecure boyfriend that he's "Good enough" ?

[prismbun92]

It really doesn't matter what I say to him, I could write a novel about how great he is, about how much I love him and about how I value him and how much I appreciate him.

He absolutely refuses to listen to me and take my word for it.
He'll be okay for a day or so, but then he reverts back.
I have done just about everything in the book, and I'm at the point where I'm about to give up.

it's exhausting and I don't know what else there is I can do. I've done everything I can to SHOW it.
I'm at my wits end, where I'm starting to feel like I'm the one that's not good enough!!

Any ideas? thoughts?
Help a desperate girl out? Thank you in advance! :))

[rollsroyce12345]

Its not your responsibility too keep letting him know he is good enough. He is hoping that you will take responsibility for that, by you keep telling him. How he feels, is not your responsibility. Insecurity comes from the fear of rejection. He is afraid the one day you will just end up dumping him, because nothing he does is good enough anyway. But the silly thing is he already fulfilling the prophecy of rejection. Because you get sick of tired of that behavior. He doesn't believe he strong enough to handle rejection, and he doesn't trust himself, that anything he does is good enough.

At end of the day, if he is a secure and confident inside, you dumping him won't matter to him. If your strong within yourself, and you can handle situation that is thrown at you.

The problem with insecure people, they expect others to take responsibility for the way they feel about themselves, when they need to the responsibility for their feelings, being, and happiness.

[rollsroyce12345]

Relying other people to make feel good about anything, is very bad, because by doing that, your actually giving them power to control you.

[prismbun92]

I agree, Thank you very much!

[rollsroyce12345]

Your boyfriend doesn't trust himself in what he does for you. So can you expect that anything you will do will good enough. Someone that doesn't trust themselves, won't trust others anyway, in words or actions.

Trusting yourself, is first step to trusting others. If you don't trust yourself , you have nothing.

[Shaft50]

Sounds like he has either had his self-esteem smashed from an early age, or he is the one who has set high standards for himself and castigates himself for not meeting those standards. There isn't much you can do except love him. In all honesty, he may not get out of this funk...

[matheus_mb]

You've done everything you could, it's up to him to understand it now. Continue showing with actions that he's great for you. And no, don't feel insecure, there's nothing wrong with you.

[Sexualchrist]

Slap him around and tell him to snap out of it and wake up to himself.