Guys, Is it even possible to change a 'fuckboy'? If so how?

[Anonymous]

I flirt with this guy a lot. And he flirts back. He is the commitment type but doesn't really do it too often. I would like to date him, but I think all he wants is hooking up? Can I change things? How? Is it possible? Like, how do you sort of change a guy like that? Keep in mind we are early college.

Updates

+1 y

Don't be mean or get defensive over your gender. It's just a question.

[aniemist]

I think people can change if they want to within reason, but trying to change who he is forcefully would never work, in fact telling him he need to straight out if off putting and something I experienced myself. It made me feel bad since I thought she loved me for who I was, tho I saw what she was seeing within reason and did try, but she wasn't willing to do the same for me. In the end she was trying to change everything about me, when I put my foot down it was over not to long after that.

What you want is something I can understand, it not unreasonable to want a monogamous relationship. Perhaps if he cares enough about somebody someday and wants to change he might be able to manage it. There is no way to know if that person can be you all you can do is give him a reason to feel that way and become important to him, if you can't though it is time to move one and find someone who wants the same thing out of a relationship as you.

[Nuqood]

The stupid thing about the asker is the entire reason she's fallen for him is because he's a so called 'fuckboy'. If he wasn't a 'fuckboy' as she calls him, he wouldn't have the charisma that he does nor the sex appeal. He's a fisherman, and she's a fish that hopped back into the boat wanting the fisherman to throw away his lures, rod, and boat all for her.. and when she sees that he changed (and for her) she will see him differently, fall out of attraction, and leave the guy, making the entire process proper pointless.

[Asker]

@Nuqood Nice, bland metaphor but not quite. Don't make assumptions based a 1,000 word description.

[Asker]

@aniemist Thank you. This was very helpful!

[Azukuban]

No need to apologize. Some guys really are just horndogs. As for this guy, and most guys, their objective is to get a girl in bed. Sad but true. So if you really want a guy, keep sex from him for as long as possible. If you give it up to easily, especially to a guy who is only looking for sex (I don't recommend you date someone like that), he's going to hit you and quit you. So keep it locked up and make him earn you. Once a guy has put in a lot of time, money, commitment, and effort for a girl, it becomes much harder for them to just drop you since it was so much trouble to get you in the first place. So when you do finally have sex, they'll think it's crazy to drop you since it was so hard to get you. They'll look at you like a real accomplishment that they worked towards, rather than just some bimbo who gave it up to easily.

[QuestionMan]

So that's why girls drag it out.

[hellionthesage]

Whats a 'fuckboy'? Also if you want a relationship then tell him that and see how he responds. As for changing him, no you cannot change a person plain and simple. They choose to change they cannot be forced and to attempt to would only result in failure on your part and resentment on his.

[LightUp]

i think its the male version of hoe and slut

[hellionthesage]

@LightUp ah. Thanks.

[Kravence]

This makes zero sense to me

You call him a fuckboy but you like him?
He's the commitment type but only wants to hook up.

You can't change people, they have to do it themselves. Women really need to get out of this mindset

[Nuqood]

You need to change your attitude. All you're doing is shaming male nature by calling him a fuckboy; You're an immature person.

[ThisDudeHere]

Guys call promiscious women sluts all of the time yet get buthurt when called a fuckboy.

[Nuqood]

That was a weak comparison @ThisDudeHere.

[ThisDudeHere]

All I'm saying is that she doesn't have an attitude by labeling a promiscuous guy a fuckboy when 90% of men (I can admit myself in this as well) will call a promiscuous woman a slut and get away without being labeled as having an attitude.

[Nuqood]

All I'm saying is that 99% of men are promiscuous by nature whereas 90% of women are not, so that was a proper weak comparison, and you buried yourself saying that men get away with calling women sluts when there's all this slut shaming, slut walk, ban slut campaigns going around.

Also, don't try to challenge what I said if you're going to say summat like "women have high sex drives, too" because wanting to fuck isn't the same as promiscuity. Virtually all men want to fuck as many women as they possibly can, whereas not many women have that same nature to want to fuck as many men as they possibly can.
@ThisDudeHere

[ThisDudeHere]

Don't get me wrong, I do of course agree about your statement to an extent but in that case here labeling a guy a fuckboy is not out of line.

[Nuqood]

@ThisDudeHere

Realistically she's only calling him a fuckboy because she wants to date him. That's like me calling some girl who fucks heaps a 'slut' hoping to shame her into dating me. That's why it's out of line; She's calling him a fuckboy for no other reason than because she personally wants him.

I mean I could be wrong, but as it reads right now she is using shame tactics because she personally wants him, which is wrong.

[ThisDudeHere]

Admittedly I didn't think about that. You may be right, dude. I don't like it when women shame.

[Asker]

THANK YOU, @ThisDudeHere. Everyone is flat out being rude, while you made a valid point. So, thanks, for being the only kind one willing to also point out another side. You're awesome.

[Asker]

Cause you know me... hm.

[Nuqood]

I know your type; You're not unique.

[Asker]

@Nuqood You're not grammatically equip.

[Nuqood]

What?

[LightUp]

fuck a fuckboy and leave em. that's all they are good for.

ffs same man you're in college ! you can find enough guys if you just get to know people and build some connections.

[genericname85]

if he likes to fuck around at the moment, you´ll just hurt yourself trying to change him... i can´t recommend it.

[ImSoSozzled]

No, you cannot change someone. Girls thinking they can change guys is a cliche for a reason. Don't become a cliche.

[HomerJ]

If he a fuckboy, you dont want him. Once a fuckboy, always a fuckboy...

[Bandit74]

dumb question but what exactly is a fuckboy?
is it synonymous with player or something?

[Weesnaw]

Side note*. Using the term fuckboy is going to attract a lot of dumb opinions

[alonzoslade]

NO YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE

that is so INCREDIBLY SELFISH, ABUSIVE, AND goes against the principles of psychology

[Spencer87]

if you can change a fuckboy, you've seriously got something special

[Anonymous]

your definition contradicts itself. is he a fuknoy or a player?

[Asker]

Fuckboys and players are essentially the same thing. At least they are where I'm from.

[youssefalei]

change how u want new one?