She hasn't text me while on vacation for over a week. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this woman for a month and we have great chemistry and feels like we've known each other for a long time. We are very Into each other and have already slept together. We text every day and on her last day, before going on vaca, she texted me "ttyl" Which bothered me a bit but didn't put too much thought into it. She went on vacation on 8/9 for two weeks with family on a camping trip (no reception). I'm strongly independent, grounded, and have a good head on my shoulders. Made it clear to her I'm looking for a relationship and not to waste my time at the beginning. I have not texted her in a week so she can have her space and enjoy herself. I have spent time working and hanging with friends. I realize she is someone I can see myself with and decided to delete my online dating account (where we met). Before I did I've notice she been online and has me thinking. I've texted her "Hope your having a blast love. See you soon 😘" and has not texted back. Obviously if she is getting reception she would use it to send/reply a text to me instead of checking the online dating web.

What should I do? She returns this Friday. 1) should I confront her (in a mature manner) 2) be worried 3) text her again 4) wait until she text me back? 5) wait until she comes back?

I like her a lot maybe in love, but again don't want to waste time. There ARE other women whom I met before her who want to take a chance with me.

Updates

+1 y

OK I just learned through her Facebook page she has been admitted to the hospital with in inflame pancreas at Salt Lake City. I am really worried but also very upset that she has not contacted me about this. Worse it seems as though it is more important to share this on Facebook instead of notifying me. What should I do? She should have been here Friday but she has not contacted me. should I call/message where she's at or wait until she comes home?

[Anonymous]

My initial thought was that may be she had no reception, or was too preoccupied with her family, but when i read the part where she logged into the dating site online instead of messaging you, alarm bells started ringing. It would be very naive to ignore that fact , considering how long you have been together.

If i cared for a guy and wanted to be with him, i'd miss him while i was away, and he would be on my mind constantly. I'd contact him with every given opportunity. You were not the first thing on her mind... the dating site was. That is evidence of where her mind was and is when she is away.

Never let any girl be your priority , if you are only their option. Peronally , i would reserve my heart for someone who makes an effort to be there.

I wouldn't confront her at this stage, wait to see how things develop. Just hold back your feelings and keep your heart guarded until you know for sure you can yrust her with it 💜😊

[Asker]

You were by far very helpful. She is the only one who has made the effort to be with me (texted, called, cooked, hanged out, etc) than the others. That is why I like her very much. I do understand it's only been a month and her being away is a test as well. That is why I took the first step in deleting my account (I was getting a lot of messages) because I realized I want only her. I will hold back my feelings and be on guard, as well as wait to see how things develop. I do want to bring it on the table and ask her why hasn't she texted me back. (I'm sure she'll say no reception, though she's able to post check ins on FB)

[Opinion Owner]

Time will tell whether she is serious about you , because she will delete her dating website account. If not, then she is keeping her options open. She must like you though , because like you say she was putting the effort in to be with you. Just take things slowly, get to know her and wait a little longer before you decide to end it and before getting too serious too soon.

If she uses the excuse that she couldn't message you becasue of the recpetion, then you know she is lying. People lie when they believe you don't deserve the truth. If that does happen to be the case... then she doesn't deserve your time and heart. You seem a nice guy and pretty level -headed, so i am sure you will be ok and make the right decisions

[Asker]

Well it seems as though she continues to log into the dating site and I'm getting more concerned/upset that she rather chat with someone else rather to me. I am getting much closer to send her a message through the site and tell her: it seems that I am not in your thoughts right now or during your vacation, the dating site is. I understand you want to keep your options open, but I told you I am not looking for games or to have my time wasted. You rather chat with someone else other than me and not return my text. I wish you the best. I have not sent this message but it would be something like this. This shows insecurity and I won't send it. It bothers me a lot. I rather disconnect myself from her and have chase me. What should I do?

[Opinion Owner]

Aww so sorry, it's clear you like her a lot. You are obviously not her priority because she would be eager to message you. I wouldn't send that message , but just be a little with her. If someone wants you to be part of their life, they'll make an obvious to put you in it, you shouldn't have to fight for a spot.

Personally, i wouldn't initiate contact, wait to see if she does. Why be her other when you can be someone elses only. Wait to see what happens when she returns from her holiday. As long as she still has the dating site account, then personally i wouldn't trust her. People need to earn your trust , only let your guard down if they give you reason to 💜😊

[Opinion Owner]

Be a little cool with her **

[Opinion Owner]

Obvious effort *
Sorry for errors

[Asker]

Yes your absolutely right. As of now she is an option and I realized I almost put her on a pedestal. I reopened my date site and have a date tonight. I will continue no contact and I'll let her decide if she wants to be exclusive. In the meantime I will be seeing other women. Like I said before there are other women who want me. My rule: never chase a girl. Have them chase you.

[Opinion Owner]

Good for you. You can't put your life on hold for her because she hasn't for you. Find a girl who looks on you as her one and only. Good luck on your date tonight! 👍👍

[Asker]

OK I just learned through her Facebook page she has been admitted to the hospital with in inflame pancreas at Salt Lake City. I am really worried but also very upset that she has not contacted me about this. Worse it seems as though it is more important to share this on Facebook and replying to others instead of notifying me. What should I do? She should have been here Friday but she has not contacted me. I texted her if she's back yet but no response. Still she manages to reply to everyone else concerns. What should I do and what does this mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Aww so sorry to hear that. To be honest , i wouldn't have contact with her again. It appears to me she is playing you. If she is that ill, but is still going on FB then you are not on her mind. She doesn't care about you in the same way you care about her. If she misses you , she'll contact you. If she cares , she'll show it. If not, she can't be worth your time , because you are obviously not worth hers.

A persons actions will tell you all you need to know. So characterize her by her actions... not her words. You stated you love her... but if love hurts then you are with the wrong person. Love is not supposed to hurt. You hardly know her, but she is hurting you already. So imagine the emotional pain you'll feel if you get more attached to her. 💜

[Asker]

True love should not hurt. I have other dates and will continue on. Though it hurts I have to move on. If she does contact me again and tries to explain whatever she needs to explain her no communication and her serious sudden illness. I would not know how to approach it. There's no excuse on this world to explain all of this. I suppose if she does, I will kindly ask if this relationship is going anywhere and if it does I am going to set some boundaries.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally agree with you!, Every relationship needs to have boundaries and don't allow anyone to cross them. We all have to set our own standards of how people treat us. If she doesn't rise to your standards... don't lower yours to hers.

[Asker]

Well I got my answer yesterday and this what I got:

Hey so im back but will be spending the rest of the month at my parents house. I want to be honest with you, I've realized im not ready to be in a relationship and just want to take this year to be alone and with my friends and family. You're a great guy and i known you will find a great girl, i just know she's not me. Best of luck with all in life and please dont take this personal lm just not feeling it or being with anyone else right now. Take care!

[Opinion Owner]

oh i am so sorry 😖💜How do you feel about it?

That is why I am a firm believer in your gut feeling. Your intuition feels what your eyes can't see. If you feel you are being played, then you probably are. I never ignore my gut. People can deceive you and lie, but your intuition will tell you who to trust and what to trust.💜

[Asker]

I was upset and emotionally shut down, but glad I got an answer. I could not understand why be gone for two weeks and then drop this on me. I really liked her a lot but was lucky I did not get hung up on her. I can tell she was genuinely honest but though we had something special. Of everything we have done and the time together I believed I have finally found someone I can connect with. I'm sad because it is very difficult to find an amazing women like her. I suppose I should cherish the experience and hope to find someone like her 💔

[Opinion Owner]

Aww i am truly sorry, 😖 * hugs* to you 💜

sometimes peoples feelings can change , after a short time or long time together. Just remember your heart is stronger than you think.. it can be played, broken,' stabbed' ,' burned' , and cheated but it still works and it will love again.
Heartbreak is the most difficult thing to get over, but yet some how we find the strength to deal with it. Don't allow this sadness to prevent you from believing you'll find the right girl, because you seem such a nice guy. I know she is out there and your paths will cross
Sometimes a rejection is a re- direction towards something better. 💝 xx

[Anonymous]

Yea, she's having a good time there and is probably looking at another guy. She'll be with you again when she's back, until she finds another guy better than you.

[Asker]

We're both 29 and not to toot my own horn I am a great looking guy. Not the jealous type either. I'm more of a " you play games, I leave" kind of guy. I take no BS.

[Opinion Owner]

👍👍

[Anonymous]

Wait until she comes back and talk her in a nice way.

[Asker]

How should I approach it? I was going to tell her I want us to be exclusive when she returns. I'm not going to slam "why are you on the date site" to her face in a immature way. I'm a grown adult. I have some insecurity (who doesn't) but I'm not needy or clingy. I have already proven that. She has my trust but now her trust has come into question.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, you can approach with a gift and welcoming her back from her trip. Then, you can ask her how her trip has gone and how come she didn't text you or call. But in a calm normal manner. Your situations and questions you have can be solve by just waiting and being patient.