My boyfriend pokes and prods me and makes me feel fat?

[Anonymous]

I've gained 8 pounds and he is always sizing me up, feeling my sides, measuring my legs with his fingers. I think he does it so I will realize I'm getting fat and work out more but it has the opposite effect. It makes me feel so uncomfortable, unlovable and skip workouts because I figure what's the point so I continue to gain.

Before we were dating I worked out for a couple of hours or more 5 days a week. I've lost a lot of muscle tone, have less time to work out because I would never see him if I worked out like I used to. Also he really likes to eat and women who can cook so I cook a lot more and things I didn't used to eat.

I mo don't even want to have sex anymore because he makes me feel so unattractive. Why do some men do this? I love him but I don't know if this relationship is good for me anymore.

i also know that if I were to breakup with him over this it isn't going to help my self esteem or help me get back to working out more. I will feel so completely disposable and like any relationship can be ruined by gaining a little weight.

[bluenose1872]

Take the word doormat off your forehead and tell him to fuck off. My ex got the same treatment off of her boyfriend when she was younger. Made her do sit ups and skip meals all the time and she just let him walk all over her. She found out later he was fucking about behind her back and she was gutted. He's got no respect for you and when a person doesn't respect you they'll do anything to you and not give a monkeys fuck how you feel. He's only interested in how you reflect on him in public. Bet he watches you like a hawk when your out in the pub and tells you who to talk to. He's a controller. Trust me I'm a man myself and I know guys that are that paranoid they don't let their girlfriends breath. My dad was like that and my mum ended up a ghost for most of her life with depression. Stick up for yourself or leave before he flushes your personality down the toilet

[Tdieseler]

Hon, are you sure he's not just enjoying touching you? if you are sure he is really measuring you to see if you've gained weight, and he has to literarily touch (we can see it) then, its time for you to up and out of that relationship darling.
" if I were to breakup with him over this it isn't going to help my self esteem or help me get back to working out more"
You never know till you try... single life does amazing things when you are trying to attract new people.

[Asker]

That's true maybe not at first but eventually I would.

[Tdieseler]

single life at first isn't fun... but i chose to go single a while back for good reason, and i do admit there are times where i just want to just be in a relationship just cuz... but i stay strong and hold on. there's gonna be someone that doesn't have all the negative qualities I've been meeting.
single is way better than being with someone that makes you feel uncomfortable. starts to feel like an obligation... not fun.

[Asker]

Yeah but when you get older everyone expects you to be in a relationship including your employers and all of your friends. If you don't have a plus one you don't get invited out with most of your friends because they are all coupled.

[Tdieseler]

I don't know what kind of society/state/country/job you come from... but i don't think anyone Expects you to be in a relationship. and if they do, screw em. Im single by choice waiting for who im actually interested in and not attaching myself to anyone just for the sake of society.
get out of your unhappy relationship and enjoy single life and wait for someone that will make you happy, also bask in the fact that when you find happiness... most of these "expecting" people, will be in messy divorces and break ups... the thought makes me smile everyday :) I've got your back if you need it too... lets be single lol

[9mfeo]

Have you told him how he's making you feel? Start there. In all likelihood, he'll realize what a twat he's being and try to encourage you to work out in a more positive way.

If he's aware of how awful he's making you feel and is doing it on purpose, you need to next that loser. You deserve better.

[CHARismatic110]

Measuring your legs? Tf is he your doctor? Ad you said that he likes to eat and women to cook, so are you supposed to just cook it and not eat? That's bull. Tell him that the shit makes you uncomfortable and to stop doing it. 8 freakin pounds is probably not even noticeable.

[Asker]

It is on me because I have a thin frame. My clothes are kind of uncomfortable so that is enough motivation for me. But when I feel like I'm in jeopardy of losing him over it or that I'm not sexy you would think that motivates me to work out but it doesn't. I work out when I feel good about myself so him making me feel bad just makes me sink even deeper.

[CHARismatic110]

I understand that. A lot of people think that making someone feel bad about themselves or bullying them about their weight helps them. They call it tough love. And yeah, it may motivate a few people, but I think for the majority it just makes people feel worse. I think you should definitely let him know that what he's doing is hurting you.

[missjayne]

If he is doing all this over 8 pounds then he is a douche. What would he do if you got pregnant? People relax when they are in love and tend to gain weight. You need to at least say something to him.

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly. I'm sure he would take it if I was having a baby but what about the months after I give birth? And what if I have more than one kid? 😔

[Keyspirits]

Lelelel i honestly find it fun/funny to tease ma babez honestly.