Would dating someone out of your league make you feel insecure in the relationship?

Question

burlen · Accepted Answer

There is no such thing as "dating someone out of [one's] league. At least in modern times. It's perhaps one of the most grotesque and baseless coinages that bears no relevance today.

Do we currently live in a stratified and hierarchical society that promotes interaction amongst people within a homogenous group, and discourages interaction between people of different social groups?

By the way on what parameters is the so-called "league" defined? Who decides the ranking? Who decides the "league" I or you belong in? You? Me?

chrisbigman · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't think so. Because if she's dating me, then she must truly like. That doesn't mean she really does. But then again, who would waste their own time dating someone that they don't like?

tashasei · Accepted Answer

Someone being "out of your league" is merely a negative mindset that people hold because of their own insecurities getting in the way of them seeing their own charms and attractiveness that obviously drew in their partner to them in the first place.

WhatTheHellAmy · Accepted Answer

No one is out of anyone's league.  I'd date anyone who wants to date me and I will always feel secure about myself

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

I think at first it would, but then I'd realize what a baller I am for capturing such a beautiful creature.

ElissaDido · Answer

I would never date someone who made me feel I was out of their league.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't consider any woman out of my league because that is just a self-defeating attitude.

SITdown · Answer

There is NO SUCH THING as OUT of your LEAGUE. Or league at all, no one person is better than another nor worse. Everybody eats shits and dies.
ex: Pick any celebrity that you see that media exploits. When they are on top of the world. They seem untouchable (or at least you may think that) you may feel they are out of your league. However a few years later they are non existent or irrelevant making them more available for an everyday people to approach and hook up. Where did the league go if there was such a thing. I realize this is a very poor example but you catch my drift. STOP BEING SCARED OF PEOPLE. Walking around WITH A DAMN fake ass league meter.

Grisbosque · Answer

I dont think any woman is out of my league, except maybe downward, and Im used to that. may sound arrogant, but Im a first world guy living long term in the third world, so I see a lot of social primitiveness due to my own more vast experiences etc.

and Im not looking for a rocket scientist, just a decent woman. but Im intelligent enough to take on the rocket scientist and make her insecure. so maybe the third world woman is a better idea. what she doesn't understand is unlikely to bother her much.

Ellebelle1187 · Answer

Not really, unless he would put me down a lot. I've dated a guy who had a considerable amount of money but was humble and wouldn't flaunt it. I've also dated a guy who was a teacher at a university... I felt he was out of my league because of job status, and I was still working towards my degree.

peachblossomluck · Answer

Seems this is a sad commonly held male anxiety that women are simply waiting to trade them in for a better model. I'll get rid of someone for being a douche and stay alone than to jump to another guy.

Poppykate · Answer

There is always going to be someone smarter, or better looking then you. If you waste your time worrying about things you can't control, you will be a mess. Just enjoy the fact that a beautiful and intelligent woman is interested in you, because of your unique qualities.

nathaliaa · Answer

You shouldn't be feeling insecure at all! I know it happens but you can be the most horrible looking person but the way you carry yourself will make you mind blowing. The way you are will make anyone stay , looks is just a plus. Just never let your partner see your insecurities, because that becomes a problem

crystalt70 · Answer

I don't believe in leagues. No person is above or beneath another. That is just made-up crap to make some people feel superior to others. This "league" b. s. has caused many issues in society. People need to get over themselves and those who feel beneath others need to realize their real worth.

RachelBrigs · Answer

Well, I wouldn't date someone I don't find attractive. Since most of the time I don't find myself attractive, I would place anyone I DO find attractive "out of my league. "

So basically any guy I date is one I'd consider out of my league. As you can see, I'm already insecure, so yeah I'm sure I'd be insecure about that as well.

JamesS1980 · Answer

Not if - and when - you trust the other person fully.

I was once asked out by someone out of my league (back in school). I wasn't sure why: was she really serious, or was it just some sort of joke at my expense?

(In that particular case, two days later I heard her telling her friend how desperate she was to meet somebody else, which got rid of any doubts there. Then a week later, a friend told me she'd been really upset about me dumping her...)

thinpatience · Answer

Sure we all have our insecurities. I know millions and millions of women are better looking than me that's why I bring more than my looks to the table.

Matthewmayhem · Answer

Out of ones' league isn't accurate, it's more like the person has a certain standard, or ideals about what their partner would be, and the other person doesn't meet that, or they at least feel like they don't. So it's not actually the reality, but rather just in their mind. Some exceptions of course, as always.
I would like to say (relevant to some extent), that just because someones' appearance doesn't leave you drooling when you first see them, doesn't mean you could not love them with time.

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Nope because I don't consider someone out of my league. Question is are we a match? Saying someone is out of my league is defeatist.

For example, I'm more likely to go for a hot girl into Mastodon as opposed to a hot girl who isn't into them. Not that a girl liking Mastodon is a requirement lol but a huge plus. But the bottom line is, you gotta have some stuff in common beyond physical attraction

Luci92 · Answer

Honestly, it would make me feel insecure, because I'd wonder if he could do better than me... and I'm a natural over-thinker and very sensitive too.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

I was insecure as fuck when my boyfriend and I lived like two hours apart because girls were always hitting him up. Now that we live together I'm like hey look at guy👈👈

MuyBien · Answer

It would a bit, and it doesn't help that I over think and worry about everything which wouldn't make it any better. And it would make me think what they see in me that they don't see in someone else who is in their league...

SarahsSummer · Answer

I'd be flattered at first but once in a relationship, I'd only feel insecure with someone if they tried to make me feel insecure. In that case it wouldn't be a good relationship. "League" wouldn't have anything to do with that.

bubble_tea · Answer

Probably in the beginning when you're uncertain how serious the other's intention is, which are there even if they're in the same league or below you.. as in do they really like you or do they just like showing you off as arm candy?

KDA20 · Answer

No because I believe there is no such things as leagues - When you date someone, you are together for a reason, she found you attractive and wanted to go out with you, simple as.

AmandaLynn1930 · Answer

no, it would make me feel more secure that i have something to offer that HE wants.

Dan2287 · Answer

I've dated someone like this and felt that way. It got to a point where I was like 'I can't let this go any further', didn't put in much effort anymore and she lost interest

Dylanguest1989 · Answer

I don't think I could get a hot girlfriend but a hot girlfriend ain't the goal, a good girlfriend is the goal. If I did get a hot girlfriend I'd be all yayyy though lol

lumos · Answer

No. I would only feel insecure if he gave me an actual reason to. I. e. acting shady, not treating me well, not giving me attention etc.

RedThread · Answer

Nah because I don't believe anyone is out of my league. If a woman likes me then she likes me so what's the point of being insecure? I'd be thankful that she likes me and enjoys my company.

pandapumkin · Answer

Its based on who she's are dating if he's supportive and remind her everyday that he love her, then she would still feel insured from time to time but the moment he remind her that she's the one then the thought will probably go away.

TheGuyFromMiddleEast · Answer

Dating someone period makes me feel insecure in the relationship. Of course it happened only once, but i can easily tell it will happen again if i ever get the chance of dating someone again.

My biggest issue to work on.

jacquesvol · Answer

I wouldn't date someone who's much better off than I am, financially and socially.
I've known rich girls and even girls with a noble name but I even avoided them as friends. I'd certainly not date one.

KBob93 · Answer

Maybe a little bit. I'm technically out of his league. He's about an inch to an inch & a half shorter, & I'm getting over that because I love him.

Cynthetica · Answer

I would never feel insecure. I always aim for the best looking guy, why? Because, I know I'm hot stuff too Lol.

Frost_Byt3 · Answer

Not any more insecure than i already am. its not like a hot girlfriend is anymore likely to cheat on me than an ugly girlfriend.

itsagirlthing900 · Answer

absolutely! j would feel like I'd have to measure up to their level each and everyday and even then I wouldn't feel good about mysekf

aficionado · Answer

Not really, but why would a girl who is out of my league, even choose me over guys who are in her league? Ain't gonna happen! :P

MissNowhere · Answer

Well, certainly more insecure than if I was with someone in my league.

Anonymous · Answer

If I like the guy I would be happy but I would be maybe I would be scared he will find someone better.

ThehappySnail · Answer

I would be concerned that she's just settling for me.

Bandit74 · Answer

Probably. I'd feel like she was settling for me because she couldn't get one of the guys in her own league.

Minxxie · Answer

I'm dating a model and I don't care, I know I'm short lol

Beaver19 · Answer

I'm actually only attracted to girls 'out of my league'

DocT1977 · Answer

I prefer to stick to those in a lake of a similar ilk to me.

stillagoodgirl · Answer

I would because I wonder if he can do better Why isn't he?

Anonymous · Answer

Girls trade up usually and it doesn't last, idealistically this wouldn't happen but realistically it does even if the dude is cool and isn't insecure.

Alexious · Answer

I'd feel she could do better. But what do I know about dating?

Bipolarjew02015 · Answer

What exactly determines if someone is out of your league? Would you think its more opinionated on whether or not somebody is out of their league? Is it based on appearance, intelligence, personality, status etc?

annoyymouse · Answer

If you consider someone out of your league, you're already insecure.

ConsultantIsBack · Answer

Nooooo one is out of my league.  Except famous celebrities I guess lol

Anonymous · Answer

It would make me feel good, not because she is out of my league, but because I would finally be in a relationship. People could talk all they want, but as long s the two of us were happy I could care less of other's opinions.

ithinkyoulike · Answer

I don't believe that's possible because I've always been better looking one

takumii · Answer

Not necessarily, might also make me feel good about myself.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, to the point where if a guy is too attractive I can acknowledge it but don't feel attraction. Probably because my subconscious knows I'm a 6 and they're a 10 and not to bother? Haha

SuitAndTie · Answer

No, it would make me more confident as I would have captured a real gem.

Dred1614 · Answer

My thoughts: If I'm dating her, then she's not out of my league.

Anonymous · Answer

No, it would do the opppsite, it would give me more confidence

apple24 · Answer

No... I wouldn't have that bad mind set!

Kirah · Answer

There's no such thing as "leagues", so no.

DodgersGM · Answer

Me dating them = they're in my league.

I_am_repulsive · Answer

I don't believe in leagues...

Memora · Answer

to be honest it would.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't believe in leagues.

puertoriguesa · Answer

yeahhhh but i dont date anyways sooo...

Would dating someone out of your league make you feel insecure in the relationship?

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