Would You Be Insecure Dating A Girl Way Out Of Your League?

Question

*I don’t want to offend anyone. Everyone has someone out of their league. Absolutely everyone.*

Would you be insecure dating a gorgeous girl? The type where other people judge you thinking - how did he get her? Etc. If so, how would you portray your insecurity?

Personally I wouldn’t be insecure dating a guy out of my league if he makes me feel secure in the relationship. Aka not entertaining other women :)

justlookin69 · Accepted Answer

I’ve never considered any woman out of my league because if you look deep enough you’ll always find that they too have flaws and/or scars that they try to hide or not discuss. They’re just people. Talk to them like you would anyone else, if you have good communication skills. The worst thing a woman can say is “No” or “Not interested”.

Any who! Moving on.

I’ve dated some of the most beautiful women (bc my friends brag about it) of all ethnicities that some of them can’t even compare to (what you guys would call) “average women”. Because of dating such women, I've learned a lot from them and about myself. Some good, some bad. Some have been the sweetest people you’ll ever meet and some just turn fugly when you get to know them. I don’t care how sexy, fine or beautiful people deem them. If you have a bad ad tasteless attitude, and just cruel to other people, I can’t associate myself with you.

So I do believe you should not judge a book by its cover because the contents inside could be less desirable or you could find a treasure. But you can only find out by saying “Hi”

TheorionMage · Accepted Answer

EVERY person has 'worth' to SOME one... if someone YOU consider 'smoking hot' is fascinated by your company, YOU would be deaf, dumb & blind to NOT to research what YOU UNIQUELY have to offer in return for her attentions.

EVERY INTERACTION is by definition, at its roots... a 'quid pro quo' negotiation.
ALL female allure at its root, is anciently-evolved, based in HER potential fecundity (even if she has NO intention of having children) THAT is what insidiously 'fuels' 'desire'.

Plants do NOT bud & 'flower' to merely be 'pretty'. THAT takes nutrients & resources! In return TO DRAW Pollinators. (And, NO 3rd party 'societal opinion' has ANY business or standing, in determining at WHAT age, a particular plant, is 'mature ENOUGH' to elect to breed. Nature's "survival of the fittest" holds THAT judgmental position by experiential Divine mandate; ... NOT YOUR'S! Manage YOUR OWN feelings and genitals!)

ANY male COULD provide a 'beef injection' of THEIR DNA.
ASK YOURSELF, what do YOU in PARTICULAR, bring to 'HER reproductive franchise'?

Would You Be Insecure Dating A Girl Way Out Of Your League?

NorthShoreCalling · Accepted Answer

People saying they don’t or do believe in leagues. My thoughts are that they DO exist, but they’re a mere guideline, NOT anything set in stone. People aren’t with others based solely on looks, but looks do factor into the whole balance of things. To me this is the most honest approach to this. People pretend like they’re not insecure a little, that ironically makes them appear more insecure. Those who are bold enough to be be honest, show more confidence in my eyes, because they’re comfortable with who they are, they’re not massively insecure, which is what is unattractive, but they’re not lying to themselves and others either, which would also be somewhat unattractive.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

Beauty doesn’t always last so I think character and career are the only things that can make one woman more valuable than another, I know woman who went from size 0,0 to size 35+ in 6 years, it happens. I also know people who went from obese to gorgeous in 2 years, beauty is not a stable barometer so should not be standardized as the baseline of romantic value.

Jake99999 · Answer

A lot of times, people are attracted to someone they think is "out of their league", and that person who they are attracted to... doesn't feel that at all. We humans erect so many barriers that are unnecessary.

People who are very very attractive often are lonely because so many people think they are "out of their league". Also, there is a lot more to a person than external beauty. Many really super attractive people are very ugly on the inside.

At the end of the day, I think what makes a real relationship work, is what people are like on the inside. Yes its great to be attracted to each other physically, but there is so much more to life than looking like Ken and Barbie. Lets get real. People need to relate to each other and be authentic and enjoy who each other is as a person, etc.

There are also many very attractive people who are just as attractive on the inside - and are just normal people at the end of the day. We should not be intimidated, if you like someone you think is out of your league, stop telling yourself that and just go for it. You may be very pleasantly surprised. Confidence is sexy.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

There is no such thing (out of my league) o don't care what people say, it's based on BS. All people ate with someone that looks better or worse, if you wanna play that game! sure, do it but don't shove it down my throat because it all made up. I have dated gorgeous women, we didn't go to the next step because we did not match/click, not because one was out the league. Still! I am married to a hot Swedish blonde lady , is she out of my league? I don't care, i am married to her and she is gorgeous

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Not so much insecure but sort of suspicious/ curious.

I once dated a girl who was socially (at the time) a good few levels above me, both financially, lifestyle, upbringing etc.

My background was inner city Newcastle, family poor as hell, no car etc.

she was ex Cheltenham ladies college circa £13k a Term (3 terms a year).

her family owned a number of businesses (multi million).

we had a relationship for nearly 2 years.

early on I thought someone was taking the piss and there was some joke around the corner.

I was very uncomfortable at first around her family and friends, she paid for a lot of nights out, mainly as if I did I would be skint for the month after a couple nights out, we did split where possible.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

Nope, because of the women is out of my league, I know she will stay with me because I am good to her. I know my worth in a relationship. I have female friends I know what they want but dont get from a relationship. Any women I date I ask if they feel like cheating on me then let me go. Just basic respect, I think it works. Also if she would want to be with someone else, there's nothing I can do to stop her. If a women breaks up with me I never go back, sorry you get one chance. There are special circumstances that I bend the rule, but I don't take an ex back. This prevents the roller coaster of break ups and getting back together. That helps remove a lot of stress in life. It would be great when you find stability in a relationship, but you are still young and new to dating, you are going to have a lot of bad experiences and some good ones too. Hopefully you'll find that guy who you are attracted to and he treats you well. Good luck and stay thirsty my friend.

normalice · Answer

I wouldn't consider anyone out of my league unless they were way too young for me. And even that isn't really a "league" issue so much as an "I'm retired from that game" issue, if that makes sense.

Though, I suppose I'd consider some porn actresses out of my league, just because I'd know they'd be impossible to please through my efforts alone. And I further suppose I demonstrate insecurity in relatiinships by not taking it seriously, which is what I'd do at least at first.

MCheetah · Answer

I mean, I would a little if I felt like I wasn't good enough for her or that she was perfect and had no flaws or insecurities. However, seeing as I almost married someone way out of my league (GORGEOUS AF, 6'3 and a half tall, redhead, big boobs, perfect booty, amazing personality, funny, intelligent, caring, down-to-earth, etc), I have more experience in this than others. I think it's all about balance. If one person seems perfect and good looking, and the other has nothing else they feel like they can "bring to the table," then yeah, that "lesser" person will feel insecure. But that's rarely the case.

PoliteSpeaker · Answer

Looks don't make you out of someones league. Looks is one form of value. No person who believe they are out of that persons league will stay in that relationship. They will mess it up at some point. I've experience this because this is literally what ever damn girl does to me. They fuck it up by thinking I have a million other women when I don't. Just because you look a certain way doesn't mean you are good a making meaningful relationships. And like u said the only way one could stay together is if the person kept reassuring them until their believe that they do deserve and belong to that person which would happen if the person kept comforting them. That is know our minds work. I say all this from experience and logic on neurology/psychology. A belief takes time to become fixed. But if the opposing information aka him or her saying you are enough and that they only want you is giving frequently and often enough there person will come to believe it in time.

Ayanna240 · Answer

i think that you shouldn't be insecure because she chose to date you for a reason. HOWEVER, research has shown that the much more attractive partners tend to have lower relationship satisfaction dating someone significantly less attractive than them. Studies have shown that they are more likely to cheat.

Couples of similar attractiveness tend to have longer lasting, more satisfying relationships.

You need to understand that super attractive people have tons of options and get lots of attention. They do not have to settle for someone like you

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

No I wouldn't, primarily because I don't believe in "leagues". Leagues only exist insofar as we give emotional energy to such imagined constructs. What's more likely is I'll be initially intimidated to approach her, but once we make a connection then she's just another human.

Besides, even a homely looking girlfriend could go inviting attention from guys and being a cheating hoe, so it's not like being attractive means a girl is more likely to cheat. And let's be honest, guys who are insecure about their girlfriend being "out their league" are usually just afraid of being cheated on. Someone who's decided to cheat will find a way to cheat, regardless of her looks. It's a character thing, not an opportunity thing.

RealMarek · Answer

I am attractive, or so I have been told, but I did go on a date with a woman who was more attractive than me, a bit younger, and had a better career. She had shown interest in me so I asked her out. I didn’t feel insecure and I didn’t care what anyone thought about it. I also didn’t get emotional about it. In the end she wasn’t interested. We weren’t really compatible. Some friends from work saw us on the date. What this accomplished was that some women who were more “in my league” as you put it were coming on to me for the next few weeks. It was like my desirability increased because I was seen going out with a highly attractive woman.

magiusX26 · Answer

nope. my 1st love was such a girl. had people ask me that all the time when i was with her but i never thought a thing about it. funniest part was i met her through my "brother by another mother" because it was his 1st wife's younger sister (older sis got the short end of the straw on looks and personality) and he was there from the beggining and even he and his now 2nd wife (after she seen my now EX) both still questioned how I "pulled" her. according to them both, she was about 3 ir 4 leagues higher than what i "should" be getting.

RasberrySlushPuppy · Answer

I think i've been quite lucky that really pretty girls i never even thought would approach me have shown repeated interest in me. I go for a certain type of personality and I've not felt insecurity just because a girl is goodlooking. However I've been made to feel insecure either because they made a sudden change in behaviour that questioned trust, or because their dating history and current dating behaviour is problematic and my naivety didn't recognise incompatibility. One girl did feel insecure from outside influence (people) and I had to learn fast how to prevent the root cause because whenever a situation caused it she would be upset and abusive. Those around us are very keen observers and can identify weakness in body language and will use this opportunity to steal and call their object of desire a trophy.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't pay that much attention to that kind of thing to be honest, if I see a girl I like or am dating a girl I don't really think about whether or not she's in or out of my league.

Ether she's gonna be with me or she's not. And I don't really pay attention to what other people think because it's my relationship not theirs so their opinions don't really matter.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I would not, but I probably wouldn't ask her out in the first place... however if she hit on me I'd go for it and I would not care what others think, if they think how did he get her.

Fact is, as you age... people no longer seem out of league anymore, that is a young thing only. By the time people are 30 or 40...

Girls I saw as out of my league in high school, oh man... hate to say it, they are the complete opposite nowadays and I've had some of them who rejected me back then hit on me, saying I age well.

Yeah its genetic for men on my fathers side to age well, he's almost 80 and people think he is only 60... people think I look like I'm maybe 30 and my older brother looks younger than me.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

It depends if the person who is 'out of my league' also has some sort of comparable 'dealbreaker' that gives me a little leverage.

We all know the classic examples like: he's rich- but won't ever get married, he's super hot - but doesn't want kids, he's super smart - but is socially a bit awkward.
He's tall - but army employeed so gonna be long distance or married lol

Nobodies really perfect. We all got features that are less desirable.

LuketheDuke · Answer

Whenever you feel insecure about someone who you may consider “out of your league,” remember this old adage: “kings and philosophers shit-and so do ladies.” Roughly translated: no one goes through life unscathed. We are all insecure at some level, even those who claim they are not.

While we do judge initially and are attracted by looks first, if you take a look around, you will realize that relatively few people end up with a partner who is their most attractive ideal. Life is all about compromises and sacrifices. For some people, the looks are not worth the sacrifice of a potentially deeper emotional connection, but those are people you likely want to avoid anyway.

The Fact is that if a woman wants to be with you, even if you are way out of her league in terms of physical attraction, you have something that looks alone cannot provide, and that, my friend, is something to be cherished.

Anonymous · Answer

No it's more complicated girl who are gorgeous generally are full of themselves but empty inside and most of em are rude they think they have more than average looking people they're not out of my league as I'm 6.2 and top 5 guys at the gym but they want us men to put more effort and get weak with her because she thinks her beauty must have control on men. I would date average girl who's kind and respectful over scarlet gorgeous rude girl

The only thing that make me insecure is when she's so rich I knew a girl she was so rich I just couldn't cope with that though she was kind and respectful she wasn't into 1 night Stand or pump n dump so anyway I could sense that she had that feeling I'm not at her level financially that disturb me I had to walk away she did understand it that's the only thing that can make men insecure 💵💵💵💵

llcanon · Answer

And who is the one who determines if a girl is way out of a guys league- this question sounds like someone who thinks very very highly of herself and most likely thinks there are those who she feels are beneath her in some way- no thanks- i always spot those ones out from a distance as they carry that attitude and that can be seen from a distance especially if she thrives on attention and watch her interact with other men. There is a great advantage in getting to a age where you have learned that for me 65 and i never even bother with such women- their arrogance precedes them and yu can spot it very easy- most like this have been this way so long they don't even know they give those signals out to men. I learned that the prettiest Roses have the sharpest thorns and cause the most bleeding.

Schizoaffective · Answer

I always think that if a guy sees a hotter girl and he knows he can get her, his thoughts might sway to her frequently.
so I get by default very insecure with someone I consider very high quality and no looks isn't enough to be considered high quality, and also good looks alone doesn't make me insecure or intimidated.

JoVee · Answer

Yes, It has gotten in the way sooooo many times... . I mean when you put it that way if they genuinely care and show you attention and put the effort in then hell no I wouldn't care. I mostly avoid the out of my league people because I would just assume they will eventually be unfaithful, by the way everyone is out of my league... EVERYONE...

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