I can't date a girl who slept with a lot of dudes, can someone change my mind? Or are you the same? (please please please read the full description)?

Question

I'm a virgin and never dated before, and not looking to date for a while. But I've got this thing I can't exactly explain towards women who slept with a bunch of dudes that makes me sick to my stomach (please keep reading). When I do start dating, I'd prefer to be in a relationship with another virgin or at least someone who slept with no more than 2 or 3 different guys. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who had sex with over 5 different guys, I just can't. Whenever I think this way, I tend to think I'm being narcissistic, insecure, and setting my standards too high. I try to be more open to it, BUT I JUST CAN'T FUCKING DO IT! The reason I think this way is because I (personally) tend to think women who slept around a lot are a lot are most likely to cheat. I'm not that stupid, it was actually scientifically proven that people with more sexual experience are more likely to cheat. If I were dating someone who slept with a lot of other dudes before me, I'd be too worried that she might think that one or some of the other guys are better than me and might consider going back to them or her old sex lifestyle behind my back. Also, I'd think she might have that Barney Stinson "bang'em then forget'em" attitude. Plus, I tend to think women who slept with little to no people are cleaner, but thats an arguable statement. But these are worries I just can't have on my shoulders and I'd have to call it off with her. I'd feel very horrible and narcissistic about it, but I just can't have it and I have to put myself first at those times. OK my space limit is running out, so I'll finish. This isn't hate against women who did sleep around a lot. This is just me trying to see what other people think and maybe someone will come with a very valid point that will change my mind, but I doubt it. Or if other people think the same way an it turns out I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

Answer 1

kiraith

Xper 4

nothing wrong with you being a genuine guy & not a nasty player,
lot genuine guys do think of that at your age specially if a virgin, you have notice part of the fear is from you being a virgin & thinking they have the exp, I agree with how nasty when sleep around, but sometimes nice girls get used a lot, remember a player will lie ass off & act right way till gets what wants, so if by chance has been with mayb 3-4 by your age is poss just been used, if been more you have look past that if they have changed & smarter & a nice girl, no human is perfect, what you want to look for is that takes relationship serious, only flirts with you, did she want serious before & just taken advantage of, also don't look at them as a object which is what doing when think only of how many been with, because that's how make them feel, you need to look at real her,
all the players interested in is getting what want so see as object,
is no real fear to have of being a virgin, its always about being able talk honestly to each other that the real difference,

ImJustCurious13

1 y
Thanks, you have a good point. But I was mostly talking about the girls who slept around a lot because she was a part of this "hook up culture" and then try to settle down after she's had her fun. Also, of course nice girls get taken advantage of, just like how nice guys get taken advantage of too. I mean, if she was tricked into having sex once or twice, thats fine, we all make mistakes, but if she allowed herself to be taken advantage of like that more than once or twice and haven't learned the first few times, then I'd question her intelligence and critical thinking skills. Not that mine are perfect. Anyways, thanks for your opinion, it helped.

Answer 2

ImJustCurious13

Thanks, you have a good point. But I was mostly talking about the girls who slept around a lot because she was a part of this "hook up culture" and then try to settle down after she's had her fun. Also, of course nice girls get taken advantage of, just like how nice guys get taken advantage of too. I mean, if she was tricked into having sex once or twice, thats fine, we all make mistakes, but if she allowed herself to be taken advantage of like that more than once or twice and haven't learned the first few times, then I'd question her intelligence and critical thinking skills. Not that mine are perfect. Anyways, thanks for your opinion, it helped.

Answer 3

AmeerX | 397 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

This is a genuine concern of yours. And no you are not narcissistic. Your standards are not too high or impossible. This is just an excuse by those who can't do with cheating others.
I think this way too. And to be sure I avoid girls popular among males too much. They think it is alright but it is not

Answer 4

Anonymous

I had a friend recently go throug a similar internal struggle. I asked a series of questions.

Whats wrong with enjoying casual sex while single? Enjoying casual sex doesn't diminish the sexual experience when its with someone you love. Or what if they simply have had multiple dedicated relationships? Would you judge someone for having sex when they're in a mutually exclusive relationship? Whats the difference of sitting on 50 different dicks vs the same dick 50 times? Nothing. Would you want them to judge you for maybe sexting, masturbating or watching porn? Would you want them to judge you for having no experience?

ImJustCurious13

1 y
Whats wrong with enjoying casual sex while single?: Nothing, it just I prefer a woman who would only give sex to someone she truly loves just like I do.

What if they simply have had multiple dedicated relationships?: If she had that many dedicated relationships and was around my age, then what saids our relationship would last any longer than the other ones.

Whats the difference of sitting on 50 different dicks vs the same dick 50 times?: The difference is that a woman who sat on 50 different dicks is a slut (actual definition) and a woman who sat on the same dick 50 times proves she holds her body to a higher standard, which I prefer.

Would you want them to judge you for maybe sexting, masturbating or watching porn?: Sexting who? And don't everybody masturbate and watch porn.

Would you want them to judge you for having no experience?: In a way, yes, I'd want her to know that I'm not a liar and I wouldn't cheat on her because I don't hold sex as a top priority in life.
ImJustCurious13

1 y
Also, I remember on this site I asked a question "Ladies, would you date a virgin for a long term relationship?" and on of the women who gave their opinion said "Being with a virgin, I would worry he'd wonder if it could be better with someone else. Maybe not everyone think that way but I'm pretty sure I would asked myself that question if I only had one partner." which I thought was funny because I'm the exact opposite, but I still thought her personal reason was pretty good.
Opinion Owner

1 y
Some people have their first live at 14, others at 18. Either way, if they think its serious they're gonna act on their feelings. Say their relationship only lasts a year, they could still have waited a long time. Before having sex with that person.

Your comment about 1 dick 50 times or 50 dicks has no real value. Someone could have had 1 sexual partner and done all kinds of nasty stuff, even have an std. Meanwhile someone with multiple partners can be perfectly clean and only like missionary sex. It really doesn't say anything about the person.

And true not everyone masturbates or watches porn but reality is, most people do.

What if she just sees you as child with no experience. No one wants to have with someone who has no sense of sexuality or what they do/dont like.
Show All Show Less
ImJustCurious13

1 y
I couldn't put details because I was running out of space. Anyways, I'm not saying people who slept around a lot are bad people, their just what I don't prefer them. I tried to not sound as if their not "good enough" for me or anything. I'm no better than them just like their no better than me. I just prefer someone who doesn't base a lot of her life on sex. I've never had sex because there's better things worth my while. Right now I'm studying to be an entrepreneur , not only that, but I'm taking my younger years to better myself and become the person I want to be before I start dating, and I just prefer someone who did somewhat the same. People tend to date people with similar interests anyways. While everyone's partying and having a good time for the moment, I'm busting my ass for the long term. Also, if I'm with someone who saw me as a child with no experience, I'd leave her, I don't need that in my life either. Plus, I do have a sense of sexuality even without experience.
Opinion Owner

1 y
Jesus, you're one of THOSE people. Drop the "holier than thou" attitude
ImJustCurious13

1 y
What "holier than thou" attitude? I'm not trying to say I have moral superiority.
Opinion Owner

1 y
Sure seems like it
ImJustCurious13

1 y
Like when? Which line gave off that impression?
Opinion Owner

1 y
Almost everything
ImJustCurious13

1 y
Everything? All I did was answer your questions and I explained my preference as well as my lifestyle and personality. Sorry if it came off as a bit arrogant to you. I actually appreciate you trying to give me a different viewpoint to look at, but its just not working.

Answer 5

ImJustCurious13

Whats wrong with enjoying casual sex while single?: Nothing, it just I prefer a woman who would only give sex to someone she truly loves just like I do.

What if they simply have had multiple dedicated relationships?: If she had that many dedicated relationships and was around my age, then what saids our relationship would last any longer than the other ones.

Whats the difference of sitting on 50 different dicks vs the same dick 50 times?: The difference is that a woman who sat on 50 different dicks is a slut (actual definition) and a woman who sat on the same dick 50 times proves she holds her body to a higher standard, which I prefer.

Would you want them to judge you for maybe sexting, masturbating or watching porn?: Sexting who? And don't everybody masturbate and watch porn.

Would you want them to judge you for having no experience?: In a way, yes, I'd want her to know that I'm not a liar and I wouldn't cheat on her because I don't hold sex as a top priority in life.

Answer 6

ImJustCurious13

Also, I remember on this site I asked a question "Ladies, would you date a virgin for a long term relationship?" and on of the women who gave their opinion said "Being with a virgin, I would worry he'd wonder if it could be better with someone else. Maybe not everyone think that way but I'm pretty sure I would asked myself that question if I only had one partner." which I thought was funny because I'm the exact opposite, but I still thought her personal reason was pretty good.

Answer 7

Opinion Owner

Some people have their first live at 14, others at 18. Either way, if they think its serious they're gonna act on their feelings. Say their relationship only lasts a year, they could still have waited a long time. Before having sex with that person.

Your comment about 1 dick 50 times or 50 dicks has no real value. Someone could have had 1 sexual partner and done all kinds of nasty stuff, even have an std. Meanwhile someone with multiple partners can be perfectly clean and only like missionary sex. It really doesn't say anything about the person.

And true not everyone masturbates or watches porn but reality is, most people do.

What if she just sees you as child with no experience. No one wants to have with someone who has no sense of sexuality or what they do/dont like.

Answer 8

ImJustCurious13

I couldn't put details because I was running out of space. Anyways, I'm not saying people who slept around a lot are bad people, their just what I don't prefer them. I tried to not sound as if their not "good enough" for me or anything. I'm no better than them just like their no better than me. I just prefer someone who doesn't base a lot of her life on sex. I've never had sex because there's better things worth my while. Right now I'm studying to be an entrepreneur , not only that, but I'm taking my younger years to better myself and become the person I want to be before I start dating, and I just prefer someone who did somewhat the same. People tend to date people with similar interests anyways. While everyone's partying and having a good time for the moment, I'm busting my ass for the long term. Also, if I'm with someone who saw me as a child with no experience, I'd leave her, I don't need that in my life either. Plus, I do have a sense of sexuality even without experience.

Answer 9

Opinion Owner

Jesus, you're one of THOSE people. Drop the "holier than thou" attitude

Answer 10

ImJustCurious13

What "holier than thou" attitude? I'm not trying to say I have moral superiority.

Answer 11

Opinion Owner

Sure seems like it

Answer 12

ImJustCurious13

Like when? Which line gave off that impression?

Answer 13

Opinion Owner

Almost everything

Answer 14

ImJustCurious13

Everything? All I did was answer your questions and I explained my preference as well as my lifestyle and personality. Sorry if it came off as a bit arrogant to you. I actually appreciate you trying to give me a different viewpoint to look at, but its just not working.

Answer 15

BigRob420 | 724 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Who cares if she sucks your dick then never talks to you again?

Answer 16

Anonymous

That’s most girls though, a girl who isn’t a ho is extremely rare to find

I can't date a girl who slept with a lot of dudes, can someone change my mind? Or are you the same? (please please please read the full description)?

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