My boyfriend says certain things that make me very insecure; am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Okay so my boyfriend will make remarks that I find disrespectful or hurtful to my self esteem. When I bring it up to him he tells me I’m overreacting and that it just slipped out of his mouth so I want an outside opinion on whether I’m overreacting. So for example the other day my boyfriend was scrolling through Snapchat and there’s an ad for a dating app that pops up and the girl in the ad has these huge fake boobs. He goes “I’m sorry but she’s so hot” this didn’t bother me cause yeah she was hot but then he goes “can you get like that?” which offended me. The thing is I’m in shape and I’m not even flat chested so I was confused like does he want me to get fake boobs? But yeah it just hurt my self esteem

Another example is that I posted a pic with my friend and he starts going on& on about how my friend looks really hot in that pic and then said nothing about me. Another example is 1 time I went out with him and I brought my friend with me and he tells my friend “wow you look really good” but then says nothing to me even though I took time to dress up for him.

So then, cause I’m feeling kinda insecure I post a story of myself in a tight dress that I feel makes my body look good. He has my Insta password so he saw that guys were dming me compliments and then gets mad at me asking, “why do I need validation from other guys?” & deletes my story.

The thing is the only thing keeping me from feeling super ugly is knowing that there are guys out there who find me attractive. I just feel super insecure with him & I’ve never felt this way before because in the past I’ve gotten attention from guys and people do tell me I’m pretty. I’m not saying I’m the most gorgeous girl on the planet but people have told me I’m attractive before and my boyfriend was the one to initially pursue me so I don’t get why he says these things. Thoughts?

[thatyahoo]

To defend him, maybe he's insecure and he thinks that keeping you down to earth will keep you with him.

Now my opinion, you aren't overreacting, if something offends you, it offends you, and as your partner he should take the time to think about what he says.

He should be complimenting you left right and centre. When i was with my ex i told her was beautiful almost every day. She always shrugged it off saying "you have to say that" but that never stopped me.

Complimenting your friends is fine but it sounds like he's forgetting what he's got.
Im sure you're a beautiful young woman, and he should tell you. In the same way That im sure you tell him he looks good when he does.

Honest opinion, sounds like an asshole.
Or just needs a serious talk with you

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. I do think he’s a bit insecure himself. And you’re right I don’t have a problem with him complimenting my friends. It just hurts that he’ll compliment them and then not me and I’m right there.

[thatyahoo]

He shouldn't be doing that. He should be complimenting the both of you. I think you should have a word with him so he knows what you think

[Asker]

Yeah I definitely will. Thanks for the advice!

[Gedaria]

I'm it self nothing but these should just be thought not talked about..

[Sheyhoney]

That’s honestly so fucked up girl.
you are beautiful and the fact that he doesn’t even tell you that and instead compares you to other women is soo disrespectful.
If the guy you are with lowers your self esteem I don’t think you should be with him in the first place because, fact is, he doesn’t really love you. If he loved you, he would never hurt you in that way.
You gotta love yourself first and let go of toxic people that ruin your self image and concept.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice girl. Honestly it feels really good to know I haven’t been overreacting and that this isn’t normal behavior. ❤️❤️