When a guy asks you to sit in his lap?

[Anonymous]

So a guy im casually dating and a couple of my girl friends were at a table in the cafeteria at a table. One side of the table was completely full and on the other side was the guy and one of my friends. He scooted to cover all the space left and told me to sit on his lap. On one hand he tells me he sees me as wife material on the other times he makes me feel objectified. What does it mean?

Updates

+1 y

*awkward not objectified

[Anonymous]

His sexual flirting is normal, and is what either a player, or a guy who is head over heels for you and wants to be with you long term would do.

The question is why you are casually dating, not more? Too soon, or he's not ready to commit, or you're not?

[Asker]

Um... well he's been flirting for about a year, but he hadn't seriously brought it up until about a week ago. He sees me as long term that's something he has made clear. But because he's been always been a flirt it always cancelled out the rest of what he did. So he's giving me time to decide in a way and he's cut down with all the flirting and has been trying to make it seem to people that he like me. I'm resistant right now to rush because I haven't been into dating before this.

[Opinion Owner]

Since you know his friends and reputation, is he a player because he does a lot of casual, or a player because he lies to girls and manipulates them? THere's a huge difference.

[Asker]

He's not a player. He's had long term relationships earlier and they've worked out pretty well considering they were all mutual breakups. He just flirts a lot with girls which made me never take him seriously earlier, although my gut felt something different with me. No he doesn't lie to girls he only compliments them to get them to smile which I'm pretty cool with, and only sometimes sexual. Never serious though. And I don't know what kind of flirting he does behind me. That's in front of me. And he doesn't really have those kind of friends who he would tell stuff to. But girls know him as the flirty guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay.

Anyway the sexual flirting is -normal- for people aiming to be more than friends.

If you like him flirt back, if you don't, don't.

The way to judge if a guy sees you only as a sex object is not whether he treats you in a sexual way some of the time, it's whether he takes a real interest in the other facets of you at other times, and if he wants to do things with you in situations that couldn't lead to sex AS WELL as situations where you can be physical.

[Asker]

He does. Also, I'm still figuring out whether I like him. I do love talking to him. Thank you :) I will keep that in mind.

[Doofey]

Public is probably not the right place for you to sit on his lap. He may have been flirting and not meant it literally though

[Asker]

Lol I know that :3 I wouldn't have anyway and he knows I won't. But thanks :)

[Tarvold]

You do realize that when people get married, they have sex with each other, right?

[Asker]

We have barely gotten on to anything exclusive. It creeps me sometimes when he makes jokes about having kids and stuff. I just feel rushed into it sometimes. He has a player reputation so it's hard to judge.

[Tarvold]

You are thinking too much about this and in all the wrong directions.

He finds you attractive. The bullshit he spins about wife/children may be bullshit. It may not. But he finds you attractive and he wants you to sit on his lap because then your ass would be on his lap. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Nothing to do with objectification but I see you changed that.

Having the girl you like in your lap is a nice feeling and him offering that is just him saying he is okay with being close to you. Smile and plant your pretty little butt on his lap.

[NJ_Casanova]

Definitely is a sexually thing so I select it's the latter/B.

[Drasi]

Maybe he just wanted to give you a nice bear hug?

[Asker]

I like the thought of that. Thank you.

[skeptic007]

how did he make you feel objectified lol

[Asker]

Objectified as in sometimes things he says just make me feel awkward. And they just direct to sex all the time. I don't know maybe it's just me but it feels weird.

[foreverxinsanity]

Just say it makes me you feel awkward. Don't say objectified because that's not what objectified means.

[skeptic007]

okay stop feeling weird, cause you are being objectified and not in a bad way,
cause you gotta understand, we are being objectified too
and it will happen no matter what you do or at least until you are old and ugly lol
don't waste your time getting mad, I promise before you where born women where complaining about the same thing so accept it

[Asker]

@foreverxinsanity I realise, it's just that other have legit warned me about him being in just for sex. Thank you.

[Asker]

Lol okay. I'm trying to get used to it believe me.

[skeptic007]

don't worry let it happen girl flaunt yourself

[Anonymous]

I guess he wanted to talk about the first thing that popped up, and pitch a tent as well