He stood me up last night, then texted me to schedule a date today?

So he stood me up without so much as an apology last night, or even a heads up that he couldn't make it. I probably wouldn't have minded so much if he had given me that courtesy and respect. But I am positive it was a valid reason, so it's not like I was sat on a back burner, so to speak.

So then today, he texted me asking me out for dinner next weekend. What's his deal? I don't want to let him treat me without respect, and want to make that point in a classy way, but I am still interested in seeing him.

Any advice or ideas on:

a) Why he stood me up without texting/calling?

b) How I can go about making my point about being treated with respect?

Thanks for any input!


Most Helpful Girl

  • We always want to think that there was a valid reason for such behavior but there actually isn't. With cell phones it is just too easy to send even a text in an emergency saying you cannot make it. His value of you and your time is not there. He is showing you now the best he will be treating you. We are at our best behavior when we first start dating, so if this is his best, I hate to think about how he will be later.

    I dated this guy for a bit, well I should say I tried. He always had a "valid" reason and would apologize, but after breaking one date after another and only ending up actually seeing him when I went to his place, I realized that he was trying to convert me to booty call and I was not interested so I stopped seeing him. I really liked him but thankfully I started really hating his behavior.

    If I were you I would make a point of asking him what happened and why he did not call you to cancel your plans. I would not accept a date or pretend this did not happen until he apologizes. Don't beat him over the head for an apology. If you mention the situation and he does not apologize profusely, you can let it go but move on, don't date him. It would show a lack of respect for yourself. You deserve better.


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  • You say you're positive he couldn't make it for a "valid reason," which is a far cry from standing you up. If it's true that his reason is valid, then he doesn't owe you an apology, nor is he obligated to compensate you for the evening you two didn't wind up getting.

    That being said, if you know he could have called or texted you to let you know he wouldn't be able to make it and he still didn't, then I figure he was very disrespectful of your time. The fact that he's offering to take you out to dinner next weekend tells me he's wanting a second chance--which is good, since you're still interested in him--so I'd use this as an opportunity to let him know that you like to be treated with respect: Casually ask him to text or call you if he can't make it to dinner this weekend; he'll get the point, and there won't be a heavy discussion.