He refused to kiss me?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday I was on a second date with a guy I really really like. We didn't kiss on our first date and, since I really wanted to kiss him and have no problem with making the first move, I figured I'll do it on the second date. I invited him over my place and we had a great time... but still no kiss. I wasn't sure if he friend-zoned me or just wanted to wait. I gave him all the green lights, but still nada. On the way out, we looked at each other and even before I leaned forward to give him that hiss, he turned his cheek. :O He then left and I felt... bad. He was on his skates, so after like 5 mins I sent him a text "How fast can you come back so I can give you a proper kiss? :) ". He didn't came back. He then texted me that he already got home, with a shy emoticon. I then said "What is you address? I'm gonna take a cab and come over just to kiss you.". He replied "You're not gonna come over for a kiss! :P We'll leave it for next time." I then said "Are you saying you don't want to kiss? Because I really need to kiss you right now. :)" and he said "Don't make look a douche." And that was it. I fucked it up. I feel so embarrassed! I'm pretty sure he will never call me again. Did I completely turned him off by being this pushy? Gosh, I regret it so much. Is there anything I could do to redeem myself?

[GingerGuy]

Don't regret it. By his conversations with you afterwards he doesn't seem upset by it. I'm not sure why he turned his cheek (most guys wouldn't) but there could be any number of reasons. Don't have regrets or loose your self confidence over this though. Next time you're together, just ask him nicely about it. Say "did I move too fast last time by trying to kiss you?" I'm assuming that's all this was, it was just too soon for him (some guys, although rare, don't move very quickly). It's possible he doesn't like you enough yet (no spark) but he did say "next time" so I don't think that's it. He's just not ready yet. I'd love to meet someone like you that's not afraid to make the first move lol.

[Asker]

But what did he mean by "Don't make me feel like a douche"?

[GingerGuy]

I'm not sure, have to ask him. My guess would be maybe he regretted turning his head and felt bad after. Yes you offered to go to him and kiss him but guys think logically and it's "silly" (in a guys mind) to get a cab, spend that money to go all the way over just to kiss him. Saying "I really need to kiss you right now" and offering to go over might have been a little pushy for the second date but trying to kiss him wasn't. When he said "we'll leave it for next time" you probably just should have left it at that and just said "ok". But don't feel bad, it's done and over with. Don't try to "fix" it, you might only make it worse and he'll think you're "clingy" or "psycho" Just let him come to you now or in a day or two ask him about the third date. Then like I said, ask him then if you went too far by trying to kiss him.

[Asker]

I would rather not talk about what happened at all. If we go on a third date I think it's best not to mention it and act cool like nothing happened. I figured that if he really likes me he won't be bother by this that much and we're gonna laugh about it one day. And if he didn't liked me, well then I didn't really lose anything. Thanks for the advice by the way. :)

[GingerGuy]

Not talking about it might make things awkward between you though is all I'm thinking. If you brought it up and cleared it up right off the bat, you both then might feel better and relax more is all I was thinking. And you're welcome :)

[JuanShisuko]

I agree with this guy, I think you should talk with him about it.

And when he said that you "shouldn't make him look like a douche", that was his way of telling you that he didn't appreciate being put on the spot like that, but he didn't want to make you feel the way that you do now.

You might still have a chance with him. You'll just have to see.

[Asker]

@JuanShisuko Thanks guys I really appreciate your opinions. And I really hope he will give me another chance. :)

[xan1488]

I reckon he wasn't in to u actually, as a guy who really likes u can't deny this offer or may be he was trying to be decent so wait for his contact to be sure that he is in to u but was just trying be decent, but if he doesn't contact then know it it is already fucked up. but in either case u took a first move which in my opinion is always risky for a girl and if he doesn't return ur risk result is negative; which happens. so get over this and move on

[hsshannah96]

It’s only the second fricking date!!! People need to quit rushing crap so quickly. I definitely wouldn’t kiss anyone on a second date. Way too soon

[Octavius]

I don't think you did anything wrong. I'm not sure what his deal is. Maybe he is just super nervous.

[Asker]

But what did he mean by "Don't make me look like a douche"?

[Octavius]

I think he was implying that he doesn't want to look like a jerk by saying no over and over.

[Asker]

Yeah I thinks so as well. I should just back off and let him lead. The last thing I want to is making him feel bad about it, but it's done now what happened happened, can't really take it back. I figured that if he really likes me he won't be bother by this that much and we're gonna laugh about it one day. And if he didn't liked me, well then I didn't really lose anything.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

"don't make look a douche"
what is that supposed to mean? xD

But yeah you were pushy

[Asker]

"Don't make me look like a douche." I left out one word. :P

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Lol did you reply with 'why would you think that'