Why he didn't kiss me?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for a couple of years, since day 1 he said he wanted to kiss me, but since I just saw him as a friend he never tried anything. (Very patient guy)

Fast forward 2 years and we finally kissed and it was amazing, super hot, super passionate. We went out a few times and always so good. Then we didn't see each other because busy schedules and out of town trips. When we saw each other again he picked me up. We went to have lunch, drove back and nothing... no kiss no hug. He held my hand and keep kissing it but that's it... my hand... not a big deal I just follow his lead and match his energy, didn't try anything either... but first time it happened to me. I thought once you get physical with someone you just continue being physical right? 2 hours after he dropped me off he texted me that he wanted to get together again. But we couldn't, I went out of town... so I know he is interested, I know he is into me... so why not kissing? We are not young... we are experienced adults... why asking me out and not get physical when we have already done it?

Updates

1 y

We are both married...

[PeteBy]

I don't know his back story but maybe in the heat of passion you got physical and he's scared of going too fast and being hurt. Could also be a sign of respect for you. It's a valid question you could ask him though. Sometimes, even experienced adults; get feelings that they maybe went too far too quickly. Generally from my experience anyway, he may be either trying to show you there is more attraction to you than just the physical side (which is what I am leaning towards) or he is protecting himself and/or you and slowing it down a bit.

[Asker]

So are both married so there's that...

[PeteBy]

Or there's that! That's something you should have mentioned lol. I was thinking it had the hallmarks of an affair but you never mentioned it. Well there's your answer. He wants it quiet, discreet and see what he really wants from it.

[Asker]

Exactly, we were far, alone in the car... it was perfect scenario I would think... so why not?

[PeteBy]

Maybe he's not as keen or has doubts. He clearly wants to but he is possibly weighing up the consequences. I get your point though. If I was in a car, alone and she wanted physical contact and wasn't happy in my marriage, I would probably kiss you or more. Seems you want it, he wants it but he has concerns. Which means it needs to be discussed with all partied as adults. Hope that makes sense.

[Asker]

Absolutely, thinking about the consequences, we wouldn't be doing anything, but is been so many years (like 8) trying to fight it but I just find it odd that it happened already then it didn't happen...

[PeteBy]

Personal question. Has it just been kissing? Or have you had sex? Just trying to figure him out. You seem already sure what you want.

[Asker]

We just kissed. We have talk about sex but haven't done it. He is the first one to ask but neither of us is pushy. I just go with the flow and in fact I tried to push him away for so long...

[PeteBy]

8 years is a long time to just kiss. I'd have wanted to be in your panties after the first few meetings if I was that serious. You're clearly unhappy in your marriage, as is he. Seems you want it more than he does. I'd suggest cutting your losses and move on. Find another guy who does want to kiss you, preferably single as the consequences are less.

[Asker]

Oh no I'm not going looking for another one. I tried to get rid of this one for so long... one is enough believe me...
I was just curious about that behavior, guys are very sexual and I know he can be but also is very weird he was ok all these years with no physical contact despite he told me he wanted he respected that nothing was going to happened until it happened and it was great and then back to square one holding hands... that is what I don't get it

[PeteBy]

Yeah none of that makes sense. Maybe he just wanted companionship. It is a weird one as 99% of men would have wanted you sexually 7 years and 11 months after you met in that scenario. Sounds like he just wants someone to talk to, a friend more than more.

[Asker]

We didn't met in any scenario, we were friends, the mutual attraction was there since the beginning but we kept it as friends as long as we could... I told him many times and acted like a friend and I was a companionship only.
The attraction was always there but we didn't act on it. When we did was wow then he is fine holding hands, it is weird guys always go for it...

[PeteBy]

Can't disagree. Men always go for it (I assume you mean sexually) so can only assume he just wants what you have now. It is what it is. I can't explain what goes through his mind other than if I was unhappily married, alone in a car with a female and we were kissing. Already kissed you. Next time I'd want more, not less. I am not advocating adultery by the way but better two people happy than four people unhappy.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Quit fucking around.

[Asker]

That was not the question...

[CuriousMufuxka]

Alas the answer...