Why do I miss this girl so much?

[Anonymous]

Okay. About a month ago I went out for a walk and stopped for a drink in a pub in Limerick. There were two girls drinking at the bar (in their early 20s, I am almost 30), one of them saw me rolling a cigarette and asked me if I had one to spare. I gave them one and they both said "you're so nice". When we were outside smoking, one of the girls told me that her friend had just had an argument with her boyfriend and that she was a little bit upset. The girl in question (very friendly, pretty, dressed not at all like a slutty-type)-wrapped her arms around my ribs. She then apologised for hugging me but then I told her that she could hug for as long as she liked. I then held her close and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. They then went to meet their friends in a different pub and that was that, I never saw them again.

I have thought about here since then. I have gone back to the same place hoping to meet her but to no avail. Nothing remotely sexual went through my mind while we hugged and kissed. But I miss her so much. I want to meet her again so badly...

A few weeks before that I was wandering around Dublin waiting for a ferry to Holyhead so I went to a well-known pub just off Grafton Street and I met a wonderfully friendly lady (much older than me this time). We talked for about an hour and when we said goodbye she hugged me and squeezed me very tight. I have replayed the event in my mind since and it certainly was a highlight of my trip.

So why do you think I miss these girls?

[AlphaMale1]

Chemistry, my friend. You have that mysterious positive chemistry for these women. The elusive trick is to find the one who has the same for you!

I have a strong chemistry bond with a cashier at a Tractor Supply store. I do not feel it radiating from her to me. Nothing will ever come of this as it is not a two-way street. I still enjoy the feeling I get when standing close to her.

[Asker]

I really don't know. Some girls walk up to me and behave in a very welcoming manner, others ignore me completely. I am just really trying to figure out how I can end up being closer to them (as in somebody who I would be in contact with often) rather than just one-off encounters (I use the term in a completely non-sexual manner, once again) and all I have left from then is the memory of it

[AlphaMale1]

So some women find you easy to approach. And then they move on. I suspect they are picking up something they do not care for. Maybe it is in your body language. Maybe the tone of your voice. Do you radiate confidence? Do you make eye contact? Do you know how to get your entire face to smile, including your eyes? Without seeing you with an unknown woman it is just a guess as why. Keep in mind attractive women are hit on almost non-stop. Here is what changed my luck at picking up women:
(see next message)

[AlphaMale1]

(message 2)
My ex used to be into physical fitness. She was an aerobic instructor. And she was blessed, or cursed, with natural beauty. She subscribed to several women magazines. The ones I remember were Self, New Woman, Cosmopolitan, you get the idea. She would leave some of these in the bathroom so while using the toilet I would read them. It beat reading the tube of tooth paste for the thousandth time lol

When we divorced I would buy the current copies of some of these magazines. I learned what women liked in men right down to wearing boxers and I learned how to become that guy.

I did this as my daughter passed away and I wanted to hurt as many women as I could by having sex with them one time then dumping them as i blamed my ex for my daughter's death. I got good at picking up women. It took years to heal from this time of my life. My point is pay attention to their body language. Learn what you are doing that they do not like and change it. You are half way there. Finish it. :)

[Asker]

Sorry to hear about your daughter first of all. Thanks for your input although I should state that one-night stands with women is not really what I am looking for

[lumos]

To me it seems like you're just lonely and you're using these experiences as comfort.

[Asker]

I suppose I am. I have been single all my life but it's only recently (within the last year or so) that that has started bothering me. Trying to re-live those situations that I have mentioned (plus a couple of others) is a great source of comfort alright.