I cheated on my boyfriend and I feel horrible and can't stop crying, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and I currently moved to a new university and now we are during a long distance relationship..

Last night I got really drunk and ended up making out with a classmate of mine. I regret it so much, and I came home crying. I was being very irrational and impulsive. It's something I can't undo and it kills me.

I've been having second thoughts as it is.
i would like to feel more secure in my relationship because my boyfriend hardly compliments me, or has yet to tell me he loves me. Don't get me wrong, he truly does care but it's hard to read my boyfriend.. I now tend to get flattered when another guy compliments me. Not only that he's had a bad habit of looking at other girls pictures on social media.. (He's stopped and deleted it) but Still bothers me every day.

Although, I feel like this is not an excuse to ever cheat. and it's really not like me to do something so stupid. I can't stop feeling guilty. I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

You want to feel more secure in your relationship? How about talking to him about the feelings and insecurities you've been feeling? That's the only way he's going to understand and come to know how you feel. As far as him paying attention to other girls, yeah, that's not right either, and I understand how uncomfortable that is. However, you said he stopped, but you're still not satisfied. So, the question is WHY are you dating somebody you can't trust?

But here's the thing, I tend to question your self control. If anytime you don't get complimented or not told that he loves you, is this how you're going to act? You're going to get the attention somewhere else? If so, you're not dating material at all. You're just the type to go from man to man, whoever can last long to make you feel good.

Honestly, girl, the best thing to do is to tell him, becuase that's what he deserves. He deserves to know the person he's dating is not being faithful. Yes, it will hurt him, but I mean... of course being cheated on is going to hurt. He still deserves to know. If you won't tell him, you're cheating him again out of making a rightful and fair decision for himself, and the guilt will just continue to eat you up.

[Asker]

I completely understand.
He's just unknowingly and unintentionally made me feel insecure about myself. I don't go from man to man, i just feel flattered with someone (male or female) compliments me because I don't get it often. I know it is not an excuse to cheat and Dont get me wrong, I have never cheated and this is not like me. I know it sounds very dumb and hypocritical, and breaks my heart for me to let myself do something so so stupid.. And it meant nothing to me, I feel completely grossed out with myself

[xsashax]

It'll make you feel better if you tell him. I would say "hey i went to a party. It was crazy... everyone was kissing on each other. I made a couple friends. Everyone is really cool. I was talking to these 2 people and one guy kissed ME. Don't freak out. It was like the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. And then I just walked away because it was so weird and left the party. I'm so sorry baby I feel like such a shitty person. I haven't seen him since." Be really simple. I've never cheated but say that. Don't be like "Omg I'm so sorry it won't happen again" just be super simple and don't cry. If you feel like crying, mute the phone. And say it was so weird and awkward and random and it was like you were kissing your brother or your cousin.

[Asker]

I actually really love this, thank you!

[xsashax]

Hope I helped and good luck !

[maddie933]

If you tell him you will have a clear conscience but he will leave you
If you dont tell him it will eat you up inside for years.

I guess it depends what your intentions are with him.
Do you love him?
If not just move on a accept you fucked up
If you do love him you need to think about how you can not cheat again.

For example i know my panties fall off whenever i touch wine.
So i only drink if my boyfriend is around so that I dont make the mistake you have.

[Asker]

I do truly care for him, and no ones deserve to be cheated on. I know I sound like a hypocrite, but I was drunk, very drunk, and obviously not thinking clear.
It would hurt me so much to see him cry for my actions, and I this point I just want to be with him.

[Kapakani]

Well, the key thing here is you feel horrible, and accept that what you have done is terrible in every way.

What comes next will not be easy. You've broken trust. Once you share with your boyfriend, what life done and how you feel about what transpired, then he will either leave you or consider you worthy enough for another chance.

Cheating is never acceptable, an you accept that. But I will say what you do have in your favor sort of is that, you seem to have only made out and not went all the way. That's better Han the alternative for most cheaters. But in any case, I hope your situation works out &a you learn from this.

[NedfromtheNed]

MHO ^

[Kapakani]

@NedfromtheNed

thanks Ned

[Asker]

Thank you for your genuine comment. I really do hope it works out.
I genuinely feel horrible about this. It truly meant nothing to me, especially because I was drunk. It's hard to sound convincing but I regret it so much and it was not worth it. Although, it sounds hypocritical but no one deserves to be cheated on.

[brewersfan01]

the only way to move on is to accept it. the reasons why dont matter because it happened, can't change the past and all that jazz. Come clean and face the concequences quickly so you can move forward. Mistakes are goin to happen and thats ok, but what matters is how you learn from them. Thats called life experience.

[Glue-Sniffer]

You should tell him what happened and let him decide what he wants to do. If he breaks up with you it's over but if he doesn't and you still think you want to continue your relationship with him, you should tell him how the things you mentioned here bother you deeply and you don't feel satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Don't try and put your actions on him, things he's doing, or not doing, should be discussed not just used as a scapegoat for your cheating. If your seeking attention and compliments and he's not delivering then you should move on. However, you need to end it before doing so again.

[SarahsSummer]

I'm sorry to say whether you tell him or not, your relationship is probably over. I think you should tell him you got drink and a guy kissed you, You felt guilty, cried all night and had to tell him. I wouldn't use the words "made out" tho.

[Anonymous]

If you tell him, he'll never trust you again and your relationship will either end right away or die a slow horrible death.

If you don't tell him, the relationship can continue, but you will have to carry the guilt with you.

You have to decide which fate you want.

[truthbeknown]

No, its cool. Didn't you know that girls are not held responsible for their actions when they have been drinking?

[Megabeauty]

who cares. you kissed while drunk. tell him if you want to ruin the relationship and trust. if not, forget about it.

[frozenhorizon]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't think this is that big of a deal

[rgb008]

You have to tell him. If the situation were reversed, you'd wanna know too.
What ever happens, happens.

[Asker]

I agree, I would definitely would want to know if the tables were turned.. I screwed up and don't have any emotional feelings towards the guy I kissed, and my boyfriend won't believe that. i was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly... It means nothing to me at all

[CisScum]

Do NOT keep this a secret, tell your boyfriend. If you keep this a secret all it will do is eat at you and make you feel worse.

[DJohnny]

Could be worse you didn't have sex. You should really tell your boyfriend though don't keep it a secret.

[LifeEqualsLove]

Keep it to yourself and dont contact that boy again.

[ThnksForTheVenom]

The best thing to do is be honest, and hopefully you two can work things out.

[LunaKitty94]

There is no excuse for cheating. Tell your boyfriend and then leave it up to him to decide if he still wants you.

[Anonymous]

Tell him the truth, then let him decide. If he decides to leave than you need to respect his decision. You have no real leg to stand on. Looking vs doing are two different things, tell him!

[Anonymous]

Don't tell him. It will only hurt him. You have to live with the guilt. It sounds hard, but living with the guilt will help you to not make the same mistake again.

[Anonymous]

Well, the only fair thing to do would let him fuck around with another girl... you know, keep it even.

[NatashaJ]

Then leave jesus Christ if you were happy in the relationship and you got drunk that's first thing you did that's a sign to leave!

[Asker]

I got drunk and it was towards the end of the night that it happened. Being drunk made me irrational and impulsive. I would not have done this sober..

[NatashaJ]

See but I believe if you got drunk and then you subconsciously wanted to cheat and never dare doing it while sober. You even said so yourself your not happy in the relationship. But seriously just move on, if you feel unhappy 5 years from now you still with the guy you still going to feel the same way.

[hotstuffSRD]

Tell him and he'll decide

[Anonymous]

He's probably cheating on you as we speak...

[Anonymous]

Time to break up with him. You don't deserve him

[Asker]

Completely feel like that, and my heart aches that I cannot undo this.

[Antivenom_x36]

tell him please