How can I summon Shrek into my room?

[Anonymous]

This dragon who calls herself my girlfriend holds me, noble sir Donki Hot, as her captive. Only Shrek can save me. How can I summon Shrek into my realm and get rid of the dragon?

[matheus_mb]

You need a Shrek stone, but you'll only be able to find this item in Tamriel. If you don't have at least an errand boy to search for it I don't think that your chances are good.

[Asker]

No, I don't want to be the dragon's captive forever!

[DooMguy]

https://youtu.be/q4riVmYyrW0

Turn your room into a swamp then Shrek will show up and tell you to get out, that's all

media.giphy.com/media/QDK1pCI43lGhO/giphy.gif

[Asker]

How can I turn my room into a swamp without the dragon noticing my actions?

[DooMguy]

You've gotta do it fast, like sanic

orig03.deviantart.net/.../...nkeyhero0-d7cdh4d.gif

[Asker]

OK, I need to steal a magic potion from the dragon's dungeon to do this.

[DooMguy]

Take a cardboard box and you'll be fine

[Anonymous]

Utter mumbo jumbo 7 times naked wearing the skin of your enemies under the moonlight.

[Doffydood]

Pray to Shrek every night before you sleep. He may hear you, and come, grace you with his oniony magnificence, and save you from the dragon.

Remember: it hurts, but you do it for Shrek.

[Asker]

If he helps me, I'll do anything to please my saviour.

[Josht13]

It'll be ogre soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmUs5qVZJEQ

[Asker]

This dragon fucks me every day so I am not afraid. Tell me how to summon Shrek?