Guy said I took him for granted?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy at a party in November. He's a grad student, and I'm a college freshman. We were talking everyday and hanged out about three times. I mean, I liked his personality. Haven't dated before so I was all new this. There were some red flags though, like he forced me to kiss him and he was somewhat pushy. I can say I was naive and looked past them. He started pressuring me for a relationship, and I told him I wasn't ready because of school and uncertainty. He agreed that he would wait. Since the past week, I noticed how he stops replying mid convo. In fact, we haven't talked in almost a week and he texted me today and ended up stop replying. That's why I don't bother texting him.

So today he messaged me saying how I took him for granted, how I never checked up on him (which I did), how I never text him or call him first. First of all, he would always text me first, even before I woke up. When I did text him, he always stop replying. I also struggle from anxiety and depression for the past six years, so I tend to doubt and overthink daily. I don't know..

[147703]

He may be an okay guy but if you don't want a relationship that's all there is to it! He shouldn't be trying to persuade you to do anything if you're not feeling it, you've been honest with him which is all you can do, but he doesn't seem to understand it. It seems that he's already looking at you like s girlfriend even though you said that's not what you wanted to be. If he's already this clingy and insecure before you've even agreed to s relationship I think it would just get worse. Stand your ground. Tell him he's a good guy but you just aren't interested. He should also never be pushy about kissing you. Go with your gut. Those are absolute red flags.

[Asker]

I told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship since last month. He even told me that his friend's girlfriend calls him everyday, and how I only call like once a week? I was like, what? Everyone's different. He also said that he cuts people off that don't talk to him everyday. I should have stopped talking to him then. Well, I just told him how I felt, that's it's whatever. I don't know if he's going to reply, but I think I'm done with him for good. Do you advise blocking him or? Because I have him on Snapchat, and he views my stories.

[147703]

Good for you! I'm glad to see you're not allowing yourself to be guilted into anything with him (that's what he's been doing!). I'd maybe wait for him to respond and then block him. Just so it doesn't startle him completely.

[Asker]

Yeah like I told him how I did check up on him but he never responds, how I've struggled with anxiety, how I'm still trying to balance school (he made a comment that he doesn't know if I'm REALLY studying all day.. which hurts because I take school very seriously). I just feel kind of stupid and naive for letting this progress. My mom and sister advised me to not talk to him. I should have listened. Cause girl, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry if this is long.

[147703]

It's okay you're realizing now and you're getting yourself out of it. That's a really good thing! You trusted your gut and weren't manipulated by him. I have pretty extreme anxiety as well so I understand you're probably running everything through your head hundreds of times. You're making the right call. No need to apologize :)

[Asker]

☺ Thanks again. Well he hasn't replied so.. Plus I feel like he was using me as a rebound because he broke up with his ex girlfriend of two years three months prior before we met.

[147703]

Anytime! And oh probably. That makes sense actually, he's used to being in a long term relationship. He's probably very uncomfortable on his own. Hopefully he'll understand where you're coming from. Either way, good for you!

[Asker]

Yeah he replied back, but I haven't opened it yet. I'm scared.

[147703]

Yikes. It's okay! Whatever he says just stand your ground.

[Asker]

Okay so he said he never knew about my anxiety, that he should have understood. How he didn't mean to go off on me and how he missed me/felt unwanted. So I told him that I tend to keep it to myself and how I don't mean to make him feel that. However, I also feel like that when he stops replying to me. Was that okay?

[Asker]

Wow... so he apologized for his actions. But then he said he wanted to see me. I said I don't know because of school work. He stopped replying once again. :(

[Abraham_]

He seems to be a cunt.
I have female friends who have been stuck in a relationship for those kind of guys. They often make you think that you are taking them for granted and not doing enough for them, even though you are the pillar of the relationship.

[Asker]

Smh. Like I don't understand what I did.

[Abraham_]

Yeah, he'll brainwash you.
Move on, that's best for you

[Zinkr7]

Sounds like he is an emotionally abusive asshole honestly.

[mulberryhuang]

Apparently, you care about him. Follow your heart