Please don't judge me, gave him a BJ after the second date... Can I text him. I've never done this so soon?

I went on a second date with this guy I met offline. He is 32 I am 24. He took me to a restaurant and we ordered appetizer and he kept insisting in me drinking all of the top shelf mixed drinks they had... so like an idiot I did just about that. I had about 5 of the drinks and could feel myself getting extremely tipsy. Towards the end of the date, he asked what i was doing. He also asked if it would be okay for him to come to my place which wasn't far from the restaurant so he could sober up, since he lives almost an hour away from the restaurant. I said okay... I've NEVER in my life invited a stranger to my home, i was NOT raised this way but I was under the influence so I told him that would be okay. He came over started to massage my feet, I fell asleep next thing i know he's kissing me and removing my clothes. (sorry TMI) He tries to get me in a position to where he can insert his genitals into me however I'm a virgin and i told him not to because I'm waiting before I engage in intercourse. He of course asks me again and i repeat no. So he respectfully backs off, and then he asks if i can give him oral. & I did. Afterwards, we go to my bedroom and we fall asleep. I feel his arm wrapping around my body and he just cuddles me as we fall asleep. He then wakes me up at 5 in the morning and says he is about to leave, just incase I wanted to follow behind him and lock my door. so we exchange "goodbyes" and he leaves. Guys, can i text him, it has now been 15 hours :(

I just want to talk with him. I've never done something like this before and I don't plan to ever again... but would it be okay for me to text him and chat?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He set you up by getting you drunk and coming back and then moving in on you. You objected and then consented to an alternate form of sex. What do you want to talk to him about? If you want have a problem with what happened, I would not call him for that, unless you feel strongly that you want to tell him off. You having a problem with it means he was too pushy and asked you to do too much. Since you didn't write that in your question, I would assume you are not planning to call him to complain.

    If you want to talk to him to get together again and hook up more, I think you should think better not to do that. It sounds like he started pushing you into sex when you were not ready and he kept insisting. That, to me, shows that he does not respect you and that this is probably a typical set up for him with women. If you find him attractive enough to want to continue, just consider that this is how he acts to women and he probably will not change. He will be treating you like that again. He will probably play that game with other women he meets and may have already do that tonight with someone else.

    You do not deserve to be put in that situation. You deserve to be totally comfortable and have a guy respect your wishes. If you hook up with a guy who does this, don't be surprised if keeps telling you what to do and pushing you further. You would be signing up for that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing will happen to you if you text him anyway... he can only be with you for this bj and doesn't want to see you anymore or he can want something more. Just text "Hi" or something random like that.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • you need to seriously stay away from this guy and BE THANKFUL he didn't rape you. you should never drink like that unless you have friends there who have your back or unless you're drinking with a guy you already live with or are in a serious relationship with. but never on a first date by yourself.

    you need to leave this guy alone. seriously. if you hadn't woken up, he WOULD have raped you. just be careful not to make this mistake again. don't ever go with a guy who specifically tries to get you drunk on the first date. leave him alone bc he's up to no good.

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    • gosh you need to get this! if he usually would have texted you by now, but after last night he hasn't, it's because he knows he did wrong and he thinks sober-you is smart enough to figure it out as well.
      you actually need to report him if you go to the same school or job. or maybe call the police. what he did is the definition of date rape.
      even if he decides to text or call you need to end things.

    • I totally agree.
      If he cared about you he'd be the first one texting you. He sounds like a scum child begging you for intercourse.

  • Why you wanna text this dude? he's obviously just trying to get you to bed.
    He encouraged drinking and got you to invite him over. Doesn't sound like you want just a sexual relationship and that's what he wants. Move on

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  • He has to get his women drunk lmao. What a loser

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  • there's no right time to text him. you should do it now. if you want to text him, just do it. don't think too much and follow your heart

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  • just text him, or call him. it's perfectly okay

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  • Sure... go ahead and text him.

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  • its all good even if it was the 1st date doesn't matter

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  • He got you drunk and set it up on purpose.

    Feel free to text him.

    But that's what happened.

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  • I guess so, it wasn't that bad of an experience, maybe he will be the one you'll lose it to some day if you still like him

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What Girls Said 3

  • He didn't text you so why text him let alone no one cares if you never did it there's a first time for everything

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  • I wouldn't trust a man with is behavior, but you can simply say hi to him. Just make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes, because you kind of look easily influenced.

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  • Sounds like he was trying to rape you.

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    • he wasn't. he not even forced her and she said he respected her

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    • she writes in her text that he "backs off". she SAID that. I don't know where you read that she was sleeping

    • @pedroviana before that.
      "I fell asleep next thing i know he's kissing me and removing my clothes."
      I personally wouldn't want to wake up to someone i never had sex with taking off my clothes.

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