Would you date a feminist?

Simple question. I'm not talking about radical men-hating feminists (who, let's be honest tend to be lesbian). I'm talking about sane feminists who take different stances on certain issues i. e. the wage gap. Maybe nitpick here and there but are all around good people with good intentions.

If you had asked me this a couple of months ago I would have said no. But I've met quite a few feminists who are not bad at all. They have nothing against men and don't agree with radical feminism.

I ask this because an article came out "why I would not date a feminist." Is that a deal breaker for you, her being a feminist? Do you WANT her to be a feminist? Do you decide on a case by case basis?
Updates:
I believe in equal rights for men and women. I am not a feminist though.
FYI I did not put the picture. I don't even think it fits. Just throwing that out there

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Feminism is literally the belief in equal rights between men and women. If you don't agree with that, then I wouldn't even come near you.

    Yes, there are radical feminists. There are many types of feminism: liberal, radical, Marxist, etc.

    Yes, there have been different waves of feminism. Being in the third wave, an abundance of feminists come off as radical.

    But if you find a girl who advocates for the equality between men and women (liberal) then she shouldn't be one of those radical man-hating ones.

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    • If he doesn't call himself a feminist but believes in equal rights?

      I wouldn't imagine most women would date a man who doesn't believe in equal gender rights.

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    • "Feminism is literally the belief in equal rights between men and women. If you don't agree with that, then I wouldn't even come near you. "
      sounds pretty radical for someone describing herself as a mild kind of feminist...

    • also its way too risky ; just cause you say you advocate for equality i have to take your word at face value? dont all feminists says this exact same thing? yet look at their actions wich completely contradict this... sorry but as far as im concern , for my own safety , i will avoid any woman who identifies as a feminist... you may not be a radical fem but its not worth the trouble finding that out ;

Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol if I wanted date someone who's gonna kill me in my sleep, I could do much better than a feminist xD

    There's veeeeery little sane feminists out there, the only one is Christina Hoff Sommers, I've never met a sane feminist, either online or in real life.

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    • Can you give me an example of something "insane" a feminist has done. And also whether or not they were a radical feminist

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    • I thought your life experience was face to face conversations/dates with feminists. I misunderstood. Had I known your life experience was based on audio clips, I would not have asked.

    • And again you're assuming lol this dude hahaha pathetic.

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What Girls Said 48

  • I advocate for all social injustices, however I do not expect everyone to agree. I am a feminist; you don't have to agree on everything I believe buy you need to respect it otherwise I can walk you to the door. I would prefer someone like me, but I know the world I live in.

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    • Sounds reasonable, I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't respect my opinions.

  • I am a woman myself, but i do know feminist men. I am a feminist myself and I would probably considered a "sane" feminist. I have nothing against men... at least the ones who respect women. I believe in equal pay, I believe that all girls should be able to play the sport of their choice, and i believe that women should have a choice with their body. I would date a feminist man.

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  • "I believe in equal rights for men and women. I am not a feminist though."
    d2118lkw40i39g.cloudfront.net/.../confuse.jpg
    www.berry.edu/.../feminism%20definition.jpg
    You are contradicting yourself. I think you mean, "I am not a feminazi though."
    cotzec.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/feminazi.png
    1.bp.blogspot.com/.../...38863178_1798649576_o.jpg

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    • No, I meant what I said. I am not a feminist. Feminist is a person who supports equality for men and women but so is... a person who supports equality for men and women. Might not roll off the tongue. I don't like how the word sounds. So I don't choose to use it. Along with what the word implies.

  • nah, I don't think so. I hate when people label themselves, it automatically closes your mind and I think supporting equal rights doesn't make you a feminist, it just makes you a decent human

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  • I believe in equal rights, but I wouldn't date a feminist. I find most to be boring, obnoxious and aggressive natured. Traits I dislike in a partner.

    You don't need to be a feminist in order to believe in equality and diversity.

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  • I would never date a man who doesn't understand what feminism is. If he calls himself a feminist, great -- if he doesn't but still supports the same ideals than me, then I'm more than fine with that. But someone who not only doesn't understand feminism, but also hates the women who are part of it? I could never even be friends with someone like that.

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    • I dont like feminism. Because like communism, it was created for something good but than the crazies (extremeists) came took it over and use it for their own personal gain. Now its mostly man bashing and women victimising.

    • @Scooby225 Okay

    • So essentially he has to tolerate your beliefs and not be completely ignorant. Sounds reasonable. Can't imagine having a very fulfilling relationship with someone who doesn't meet your criteria.

  • I would consider myself an activist for women's rights so yeah, I would. I don't think being a feminists should mean you can't care about other people's rights and inequalities too, like black rights, men's rights, children's rights, the environment. All these things are also important to me, I shouldn't be shamed for also caring about the rights of my own gender! I'd hope my partner felt the same way. Well, he does, so I'm a lucky gal :)

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    • Well, you don't strike me as the insane radical type. I see nothing wrong with taking a liberal stance on social issues, as long as you don't bash people who don't. That's good you and your partner see eye to eye on things

  • as long as she wasn't the militant "i am infallible and disagreeing with me=hate speech" type, i can't see it being an issue.

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    • God no. If somebody can't tolerate disagreement, they shouldn't date me. And I shouldn't date them. Bad dynamic automatically.

  • I wouldn't even being friends with them would be very difficult for me

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    • Male feminists you mean? I can relate to that

    • The both. It's very boring to heard them everyday complaining about everything. They don't act they just whine. When something doesn't go like they want it to go they complain.

  • the problem behind this bad rep that feminists have gotten.. is that most people confuse real feminists with the batshit crazy feminazis.. extremism can ruin anything.. real feminists are just sane people who want women to have equal opportunities and position in societies as men..

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  • As a woman I tell you:

    Feminist are like a carcinoma that must be stopped from spreading. Folks we must do everything to stop them: We must burn their houses, take down their imaginary crowns and we must drain them into the deep sea.

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  • As a politically moderate feminist, I will only date a moderate/left leaning or liberal man. -shrug- Conservative guys are generally assholes.

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    • Guilty as charged and proud of it. 🤠

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    • @Salohcin22 If he's conservative and doesn't support feminism, I take an issue with that. I'm saying I might be more forgiving if he's not 100% a "feminist" but still left-leaning.

      Anti-feminist and anti-MRA are probably egalitarian. Or they just hate labels. Alright with me!

    • Alright, that's fair

  • I won't date a man if he's not a feminist. Belief in equality is a must.

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    • So if you don't call yourself a feminist you don't believe in equality?

      just 20 percent of Americans -- including 23 percent of women and 16 percent of men -- consider themselves feminists.

      And this is the Huffington Post Poll keep in mind.

      I highly doubt only 16% of men believe in equality. They probably just don't choose to label themselves with that word.

      So if they believed in equality but didn't call themselves a feminist?

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    • I disagree with that
      Feminism isn't just an ideology, it's a social movement, and while I agree with the ideology, the modern western feminist movement is beyond cancerous.
      It's just an explosion of false statistics, myths regurgitated as facts, and a complete lack of empathy for men

      I want true equality between men and women, to the point where outside of biological issues and relationships, people treat sex like eye colour.
      All the modern feminist movement has done is create a bigger divide between men and women and alienate men

    • America didn't get freedom by distributing cookies. Black didn't get equal rights by distributing flowers. In revolutions, maybe extreme things happen. It will all go normal once equality is achieved. plus, most of the videos against feminists are made by taking their words out of context or the ones when they react to extreme trolls and abuses. Focus on the goal, equality. isn't that reasonable?

  • I like conservative guys, and I'm a sane feminist. I'm not a radical feminist and I don't believe in completely eliminating gender roles and all that. Im pretty conservative myself. However, if you believe in equal rights for men and women, you are indeed a feminist. That's all that feminism is.

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    • But that's not all that that is. If you believe in equal rights, then you are a Men's Rights Activist. That's all that MRAs are. They just believe in equal rights for both genders. It's fallicious because feminism only cares about women't rights and MRA only cares about mens rights. Both of them assume that the other has an advantage and to make it equal they raise their own gender's side.

      Neither are actually supporting equal rights as they would fight for the other side's gender rights as well, and team up together. Anyone that says one of those is using a fallacy.

    • @Salohcin22 femistism is a women rights activist group. Not a gender equality group. You can't have a gender equality group who primary ( and honestly only) focus is on one group. Your thinking of egalitarianism not FEMinism

    • @Scooby225
      Right, that's what I was saying, I completely agree with you.

  • I'm a feminist. One of those sane ones haha.

    My fiance thinks I'm delightful.

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    • That's good, sounds like a happy, healthy relationship.

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    • @Brah63926 Usually (from what I've heard) feminists won't go down on a man unless he reciprocates. Some feminists believe in orgasm equality which isn't a huge issue either.

    • @Brah63926 There is this article where the guy advises this girl not go down on her boyfriend because he won't even touch her sexually, but when I looked up "why I won't go down on men" most of the results were about men not going down on women.

  • Sure, although for some reason, more conservative men have always been of interest to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm liberal and everything, so I wouldn't mind dating one, as long as they weren't radical in their beliefs and as long as our time together wasn't consumed my feminism-related topics.

    It's perfectly fine to not consider yourself a feminist and believe in equal rights for men and women. I despise people who attempt to shove the whole "you're a FEMINIST" down your throat, just because you believe in equality of the genders. Feminism does not simply amount to "a belief in equality," it's an entire movement filled with aims and ideas that people who want equality for men and women may simply just not agree with. I find it hilarious when feminists are like "Google what feminism is!!" Yes, because the dictionary definition totally 100% encompasses the feminist movement in practice.

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    • There's a ton of people attempting to shove "you're a feminist down my throat." They should shove off but if I respond like that I'll get an earful, so I won't.

      The political piece is why I don't use the term. I certainly believe men and women should have equal rights.

    • "You're a feminist" down my throat. Didn't make any sense before

  • Damn, if someone is NOT a feminist that would mean they are not for equal rights, which would mean they'd consider me to be lower and them to be superior to me. So yes, I would date a feminist. I solely date them.

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    • There talking about radical feminists.

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    • you're not that dumb iam sure if you read the two paragraphs i have written you will find plenty of arguments

    • @IceCubedude again, I do not wish to do so.

  • I would date a male feminist. I'm not gay, so, I wouldn't go after a lady feminist.

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    • Fair enough? Would you date a male who wasn't a feminist?

    • If he didn't want to use the label, yea, that'd be fine. If he was really vocal about feminist bashing, I don't think I'd like him very much.

  • Considering the fact that feminism means different things to different people, it depends.
    Honnestly, I don't go around labeling myself as a feminist. I believe in the importance of powering women through encouraging education, protect them physically but also fianancially etc, equal pay for the same Job etc but a good portion of what is being advocated by modern day feminism isn't my cup of tea.
    I simply want a man who respects people, men and women alike.

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  • Some guys like women to be partners and some think they are to be submissive.

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    • Are you saying the ones who wouldn't date a feminist want women to be submissive?
      Depends on personality really. Being in a relationship with a submissive person would not be good for me. I prefer debate and challenge. Different strokes for different folks

    • I guess it isn't one way or another. But i see femisnism as seeing your own value.
      So, some women can still choose to be more submissive... but still an engaged partner if that makes sense. Still has an opinion

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What Guys Said 134

  • Here is a great video of my buddy Matt Hussey breaking down a feminist the I CAN DO IT ALL mindset.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCfthlQsThc

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  • If she believes there's a wage gap and a rape culture in America, then no. I can only tolerate so much ignorance.

    I also wouldn't date a feminist if she is so passionate about it, in that she always has to mention that she is a feminist or try to make feminism relevant to everything. If I were to ever fall for a feminist, it's because she kept it to herself, she actually believed in equality as well as equal responsibility, and just wasn't sensitive about everything.

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    • I don't mind if a woman is sensitive but if she's VERY sensitive that's where I take issue. I don't think I could date somebody who is too sensitive.

  • Typically not, and I include even the most moderate type of feminists with very few exceptions.

    I see the most moderate-sounding often citing a definition of feminism as simply the "belief in equality between the two sexes" as though this is the one true definition of feminism to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them.

    That's a very coercive and manipulative tactic to try to make it sound as though anyone who doesn't identify as a "feminist" must be a sexist, and I don't get along well with coercive and manipulative people.

    If such a moderate genuinely believes that feminists are the only ones who believe in equality between the sexes, then they must be incredibly naive. I likewise don't get along so well with incredibly naive people.

    I absolutely believe in and promote equal opportunities between the two sexes yet refuse to identify as a feminist. About the only type of feminist I could ever imagine dating if I was single would be one who can truly understand and empathize with my refusal.

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    • My refusal also has little to do with "man-hating" from the radicals. I'm actually focused more on the moderates. The reason I don't identify as feminist boils down more to how feminists tend to define their ideas of what equality actually means, and also the means by which they want to address perceived inequities.

  • No. Because a feminist is exactly that. men hating feminazi's. You try and be polite and hold a door open like a gentleman and you get a nasty comment about how she can open the door herself. Any woman that would call herself a feminist is comparing herself to those kind of horrible people. You need to come up with a different name or something. Because if she says feminist, forgetaboutit, bye...

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    • I met a girl who is a feminist. Held the door open for her. Said thank you. There are many moderate feminists.

  • Hell no!
    Feminism, no matter what shade of red, is a toxic child of Cultural Marxism.
    Such a woman would disqualify herself from consideration as the source of 50 per cent of the DNA in my children.
    Feminism is contrary to nature, science and the observable realities of the universe.
    I could not be interested in a woman who was that delusional and ignorant, or simply stupid.

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    • Which feminists are you talking about. Are you talking about the nutso #52-76 genders ones? Ignoring the rules of science- you must be. Or the ones that deny men are on average stronger?

  • There are no such animals. "The wage gap" in the same occupation is a Big Lie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW-cO7Gv3PM

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    • Don't even go there. I'm so sick and tired of the wage gap debate. I don't side with any side when it comes to this issue.

    • Nevertheless, "Feminists" today are man hating lesbians, and communistic ones at that.

  • I don't know, the constant nitpicking could get annoying really fast :/

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  • True Feminist - Yes (if she is my type of girl).
    Femi-Nazi - No way.

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  • "I'm not talking about radical men-hating feminists (who, let's be honest tend to be lesbian)"
    Wow, you must have some amazing powers to know the sexual preferences of an entire group based on nothing but what Rush Limbaugh says about them.

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    • A. It was a dumb joke- no need to analyze it. B. I've never listened to rush Limbaugh. C. There's a lot of truth to that- kind of hard to be in a relationship with someone if you hate the gender of that person.

  • it's definitely case by case. I don't think there is anything wrong with dating a feminist, where I would draw the line is whether the conversations on it were actually debates, or if I'm having an idea being forced down my throat.

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    • Fair point. If they cannot tolerate debate, probably not going to be a good relationship. Fortunately you can usually tell if somebody has that trait by how they respond to other things. If they say "I like this movie" and you say "I don't" and they say "YOU'RE A SEXIST PIG"... yeah, no.

  • No I wouldn't and I don't differentiate between "radical" and regular feminism.
    Both have the same stupid ideas, just the delivery is different.

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    • Yeah, the delivery is different. Some scream "I hate men" into megaphones while some just vote supporting women's issues. Delivery matters.

    • It is actually closer to:
      Feminazi - saying that all men are rapist pigs.
      "Feminist" - lowkey saying that all men are rapist pigs by bringing up lies and non-issues such as manspreading, catcalling and saying how traumatized you are because you were "forced" to act feminine in your childhood to align with the patriarchal social norms all the while you are pretending that your movement somehow cares about male issues (lol) but not before you go teaching males that rape is bad and that they should help everyone but themselves because being a white cis male they are the only ones who have ever been granted any privileges.

  • I have noticed most girls that say they are feminists dont even know what the definition really means and most of them are hypocrites as well.. Not all but most... The thing is in 2017 they do have equal rights if not more rights and privileges then men do... This is not 1674 any more.. Women have the same rights as men do... like said if not more in 2017.

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    • lol love how the dudes give me the thumbs up and the girls thumbs down... ROFL

      Like what I said was wrong or a lie... . its 100 percent fucking true...

  • no, our ideology would be too far apart. I am a very vocal anti feminist and work hard to bring down the movement. I feel that the key belief of feminism is Patriarchy Theory and as I feel that it's a false premise we would fight too much over these issues.

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  • Yes I would date a feminist. However like you said, they have to be sane and well grounded. The thing of it is, equality has to be equal, if you go beyond equal, then it becomes something else, something exclusive and that is not equal.

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    • Agree. Although, people still. need to realise that men and women are built differently. Demanding we can walk around bare breasted just like the men can, means women would then also have to work lifting heavy as Shit stuff too. And I bet you 700 dollars those feminazis won't want to work as hard as men do with their bodies.

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    • @TheDevilInside There is that. The beauty of our exchange is that we can agree on this subject from different sides of the fence ;-)

    • yep. It is doable.

  • Date: Yes
    Marry: No

    But all in all, Its exactly what you said last, a case-by-case basis.

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    • You would date someone you already know you aren't going to marry?

    • It was a general rule of thumb.

      Also depends on what you mean by "dating." Cause friends with benefits falls under dating in my eyes.

      Like what you said, I think the optimal woman to marry believes in equal rights for both genders. I think most people want equality for all.

      But marriage is a HUGE deal. And with divorce rates skyrocketing and courts vastly ruling in favor of the woman. It's difficult to take the risk of losing your partner, losing your home, and losing your children because your partner jumped deep into feminism and became hostile towards you and men in general.

      My girlfriend retweets the occasional feminist post, but doesn't consider herself a feminist and thinks this current wave of feminism is not necessary and only driving men and women further apart. I plan on marrying her once we graduate.

    • Sounds like a plan. I see where you're coming from. I would be concerned if I was dating a woman getting sucked into the whole feminism movement.

  • It is an absolute deal breaker. Men and women are more than equal greatly in favor of the woman.

    I also wanted to take the opportunity to tell all you feminists out there radical or not that you truly are all a bunch of filthy shrews, and I truly hope you all die childless and alone with no one to look after you or support you.

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  • Then they're not feminists. A lot of women claim to be but don't agree with the radical agenda. It just sounds good so the say they are.

    Even some feminists crave strong men. Some will even admit to the desire to be dominated sexually. You can't argue with a bazillion years of biology. :)

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  • An actual true feminist, who supports equal rights for men and women? Yes.

    A feminazi who calls herself a feminist and turns everything into a battle of the sexes and doesn't care about men? No.

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    • Only a self hating man would date the second type. There are definitely some of those around. Men who walk around feeling guilty for being men. It's really sad and unimpressive to women I think.

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    • Any relationship where one person is made to bow down to the other person is not healthy. This guy on YouTube Steve Shives. Good lord. He has a conversation with his wife. "My favorite superhero is iron man" immediately followed, w/o any prompting with "does that make me sexist. His wife "yes, I think so because iron man isn't a female superhero and your mind instantly went to male superheroes" or some bullshit like that. It's really sad. I can't imagine that's a happy relationship.

    • ugh, Steve Shives is like the ultimate loser!

  • No. I don't agree with any of the positions they hold so the relationship would be a horrible series of arguments. No interest in that whatsoever.

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    • You could talk about things that have nothing to do with feminism.

    • None of the feminists I've met really seem to have any interests besides feminism.

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