Would you date a feminist?

Simple question. I'm not talking about radical men-hating feminists (who, let's be honest tend to be lesbian). I'm talking about sane feminists who take different stances on certain issues i. e. the wage gap. Maybe nitpick here and there but are all around good people with good intentions.

If you had asked me this a couple of months ago I would have said no. But I've met quite a few feminists who are not bad at all. They have nothing against men and don't agree with radical feminism.

I ask this because an article came out "why I would not date a feminist." Is that a deal breaker for you, her being a feminist? Do you WANT her to be a feminist? Do you decide on a case by case basis?

Updates:
I believe in equal rights for men and women. I am not a feminist though.
FYI I did not put the picture. I don't even think it fits. Just throwing that out there

0|3
49134

Most Helpful Girl

  • Feminism is literally the belief in equal rights between men and women. If you don't agree with that, then I wouldn't even come near you.

    Yes, there are radical feminists. There are many types of feminism: liberal, radical, Marxist, etc.

    Yes, there have been different waves of feminism. Being in the third wave, an abundance of feminists come off as radical.

    But if you find a girl who advocates for the equality between men and women (liberal) then she shouldn't be one of those radical man-hating ones.

    9|0
    0|3
    • If he doesn't call himself a feminist but believes in equal rights?

      I wouldn't imagine most women would date a man who doesn't believe in equal gender rights.

    • Show All
    • "Feminism is literally the belief in equal rights between men and women. If you don't agree with that, then I wouldn't even come near you. "
      sounds pretty radical for someone describing herself as a mild kind of feminist...

    • also its way too risky ; just cause you say you advocate for equality i have to take your word at face value? dont all feminists says this exact same thing? yet look at their actions wich completely contradict this... sorry but as far as im concern , for my own safety , i will avoid any woman who identifies as a feminist... you may not be a radical fem but its not worth the trouble finding that out ;

Most Helpful Guy

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 48

  • I advocate for all social injustices, however I do not expect everyone to agree. I am a feminist; you don't have to agree on everything I believe buy you need to respect it otherwise I can walk you to the door. I would prefer someone like me, but I know the world I live in.

    2|2
    0|0
    • Sounds reasonable, I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't respect my opinions.

  • the problem behind this bad rep that feminists have gotten.. is that most people confuse real feminists with the batshit crazy feminazis.. extremism can ruin anything.. real feminists are just sane people who want women to have equal opportunities and position in societies as men..

    3|1
    0|1
  • nah, I don't think so. I hate when people label themselves, it automatically closes your mind and I think supporting equal rights doesn't make you a feminist, it just makes you a decent human

    0|6
    0|0
  • as long as she wasn't the militant "i am infallible and disagreeing with me=hate speech" type, i can't see it being an issue.

    0|3
    0|0
    • God no. If somebody can't tolerate disagreement, they shouldn't date me. And I shouldn't date them. Bad dynamic automatically.

  • I believe in equal rights, but I wouldn't date a feminist. I find most to be boring, obnoxious and aggressive natured. Traits I dislike in a partner.

    You don't need to be a feminist in order to believe in equality and diversity.

    0|4
    0|1
  • I wouldn't even being friends with them would be very difficult for me

    0|7
    0|1
    • Male feminists you mean? I can relate to that

    • The both. It's very boring to heard them everyday complaining about everything. They don't act they just whine. When something doesn't go like they want it to go they complain.

  • Sure, although for some reason, more conservative men have always been of interest to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm liberal and everything, so I wouldn't mind dating one, as long as they weren't radical in their beliefs and as long as our time together wasn't consumed my feminism-related topics.

    It's perfectly fine to not consider yourself a feminist and believe in equal rights for men and women. I despise people who attempt to shove the whole "you're a FEMINIST" down your throat, just because you believe in equality of the genders. Feminism does not simply amount to "a belief in equality," it's an entire movement filled with aims and ideas that people who want equality for men and women may simply just not agree with. I find it hilarious when feminists are like "Google what feminism is!!" Yes, because the dictionary definition totally 100% encompasses the feminist movement in practice.

    0|3
    0|0
    • There's a ton of people attempting to shove "you're a feminist down my throat." They should shove off but if I respond like that I'll get an earful, so I won't.

      The political piece is why I don't use the term. I certainly believe men and women should have equal rights.

    • "You're a feminist" down my throat. Didn't make any sense before

  • "I believe in equal rights for men and women. I am not a feminist though."
    d2118lkw40i39g.cloudfront.net/.../confuse.jpg
    www.berry.edu/.../feminism%20definition.jpg
    You are contradicting yourself. I think you mean, "I am not a feminazi though."
    cotzec.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/feminazi.png
    1.bp.blogspot.com/.../...38863178_1798649576_o.jpg

    1|0
    0|1
    • No, I meant what I said. I am not a feminist. Feminist is a person who supports equality for men and women but so is... a person who supports equality for men and women. Might not roll off the tongue. I don't like how the word sounds. So I don't choose to use it. Along with what the word implies.

  • I am a woman myself, but i do know feminist men. I am a feminist myself and I would probably considered a "sane" feminist. I have nothing against men... at least the ones who respect women. I believe in equal pay, I believe that all girls should be able to play the sport of their choice, and i believe that women should have a choice with their body. I would date a feminist man.

    5|2
    0|2
  • Considering the fact that feminism means different things to different people, it depends.
    Honnestly, I don't go around labeling myself as a feminist. I believe in the importance of powering women through encouraging education, protect them physically but also fianancially etc, equal pay for the same Job etc but a good portion of what is being advocated by modern day feminism isn't my cup of tea.
    I simply want a man who respects people, men and women alike.

    0|0
    0|1
  • My boyfriend is a feminist, and so am I, so yes :)

    3|0
    0|1
  • I like conservative guys, and I'm a sane feminist. I'm not a radical feminist and I don't believe in completely eliminating gender roles and all that. Im pretty conservative myself. However, if you believe in equal rights for men and women, you are indeed a feminist. That's all that feminism is.

    0|0
    0|1
    • But that's not all that that is. If you believe in equal rights, then you are a Men's Rights Activist. That's all that MRAs are. They just believe in equal rights for both genders. It's fallicious because feminism only cares about women't rights and MRA only cares about mens rights. Both of them assume that the other has an advantage and to make it equal they raise their own gender's side.

      Neither are actually supporting equal rights as they would fight for the other side's gender rights as well, and team up together. Anyone that says one of those is using a fallacy.

    • @Salohcin22 femistism is a women rights activist group. Not a gender equality group. You can't have a gender equality group who primary ( and honestly only) focus is on one group. Your thinking of egalitarianism not FEMinism

    • @Scooby225
      Right, that's what I was saying, I completely agree with you.

  • As a woman I tell you:

    Feminist are like a carcinoma that must be stopped from spreading. Folks we must do everything to stop them: We must burn their houses, take down their imaginary crowns and we must drain them into the deep sea.

    0|4
    3|0
  • Yuh of course, I don't care for the label but there's a semi-clear difference between boys who sincerely *like* women vs ones who see us as beneath them.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I'm a feminist. One of those sane ones haha.

    My fiance thinks I'm delightful.

    0|1
    0|1
    • That's good, sounds like a happy, healthy relationship.

    • Show All
    • @Brah63926 Usually (from what I've heard) feminists won't go down on a man unless he reciprocates. Some feminists believe in orgasm equality which isn't a huge issue either.

    • @Brah63926 There is this article where the guy advises this girl not go down on her boyfriend because he won't even touch her sexually, but when I looked up "why I won't go down on men" most of the results were about men not going down on women.

  • I don't know if I count as one of these? But I don't label myself a feminist at all. In fact, I shy away from the word.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Some people will tell you "If you believe in equal rights you're a feminist" but that's BS- you're a feminist if you choose to call yourself a feminist I think.

  • Sure, I don't see why not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would never date a man who doesn't understand what feminism is. If he calls himself a feminist, great -- if he doesn't but still supports the same ideals than me, then I'm more than fine with that. But someone who not only doesn't understand feminism, but also hates the women who are part of it? I could never even be friends with someone like that.

    0|3
    1|7
    • I dont like feminism. Because like communism, it was created for something good but than the crazies (extremeists) came took it over and use it for their own personal gain. Now its mostly man bashing and women victimising.

    • So essentially he has to tolerate your beliefs and not be completely ignorant. Sounds reasonable. Can't imagine having a very fulfilling relationship with someone who doesn't meet your criteria.

  • I would date a male feminist. I'm not gay, so, I wouldn't go after a lady feminist.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Fair enough? Would you date a male who wasn't a feminist?

    • If he didn't want to use the label, yea, that'd be fine. If he was really vocal about feminist bashing, I don't think I'd like him very much.

  • Nooope

    0|4
    0|1
  • A male feminist? Yeah sure.

    1|1
    0|0
  • a feminist is literally someone who believes in equal rights between the two genders so i don't know wtf y'all mean when y'all say you wouldn't date one

    3|0
    0|4
    • Not the 3rd wave ones. You know what they mean... quit acting dumb.

    • Show All
    • @Scooby225 They think women are so much more oppressed so ALL efforts should be made to improve the lives of women. If you ask people what is more important in life... most will say happiness. If men have it so easy how come they make up 75% of suicidal deaths. How come 90% of homeless people are male. They can't answer that crap and don't care to.

    • @Scooby225 They hide behind their definition and use it as a defense mechanism... mean while most feminists are the complete opposite.
      Not to hate on OP... she is 14 after all (incoming... i know more than you XYZ).

  • never

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would consider myself an activist for women's rights so yeah, I would. I don't think being a feminists should mean you can't care about other people's rights and inequalities too, like black rights, men's rights, children's rights, the environment. All these things are also important to me, I shouldn't be shamed for also caring about the rights of my own gender! I'd hope my partner felt the same way. Well, he does, so I'm a lucky gal :)

    0|0
    0|3
    • Well, you don't strike me as the insane radical type. I see nothing wrong with taking a liberal stance on social issues, as long as you don't bash people who don't. That's good you and your partner see eye to eye on things

  • My boyfriend is a feminist and im a republican and all i do is smile and say you're right and dont bother with trying to say anything

    0|0
    0|0
  • it depends, there's a lot of crazy bitches saying they're feminists, and they only think about female rights, not equal rights

    0|0
    0|1
  • I won't date a man if he's not a feminist. Belief in equality is a must.

    3|2
    0|4
    • So if you don't call yourself a feminist you don't believe in equality?

      just 20 percent of Americans -- including 23 percent of women and 16 percent of men -- consider themselves feminists.

      And this is the Huffington Post Poll keep in mind.

      I highly doubt only 16% of men believe in equality. They probably just don't choose to label themselves with that word.

      So if they believed in equality but didn't call themselves a feminist?

    • Show All
    • I disagree with that
      Feminism isn't just an ideology, it's a social movement, and while I agree with the ideology, the modern western feminist movement is beyond cancerous.
      It's just an explosion of false statistics, myths regurgitated as facts, and a complete lack of empathy for men

      I want true equality between men and women, to the point where outside of biological issues and relationships, people treat sex like eye colour.
      All the modern feminist movement has done is create a bigger divide between men and women and alienate men

    • America didn't get freedom by distributing cookies. Black didn't get equal rights by distributing flowers. In revolutions, maybe extreme things happen. It will all go normal once equality is achieved. plus, most of the videos against feminists are made by taking their words out of context or the ones when they react to extreme trolls and abuses. Focus on the goal, equality. isn't that reasonable?

  • I'm a feminists but no a crazy one

    0|1
    0|1
  • Definitely. I'm a feminist, and if the guy or girl I date is a feminist too, then that's all the better

    0|1
    0|2
  • Some guys like women to be partners and some think they are to be submissive.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Are you saying the ones who wouldn't date a feminist want women to be submissive?
      Depends on personality really. Being in a relationship with a submissive person would not be good for me. I prefer debate and challenge. Different strokes for different folks

    • I guess it isn't one way or another. But i see femisnism as seeing your own value.
      So, some women can still choose to be more submissive... but still an engaged partner if that makes sense. Still has an opinion

  • More from Girls
    18

What Guys Said 133

  • Lol if I wanted date someone who's gonna kill me in my sleep, I could do much better than a feminist xD

    There's veeeeery little sane feminists out there, the only one is Christina Hoff Sommers, I've never met a sane feminist, either online or in real life.

    0|9
    1|1
    • Can you give me an example of something "insane" a feminist has done. And also whether or not they were a radical feminist

    • Show All
    • I thought your life experience was face to face conversations/dates with feminists. I misunderstood. Had I known your life experience was based on audio clips, I would not have asked.

    • And again you're assuming lol this dude hahaha pathetic.

  • If she believes there's a wage gap and a rape culture in America, then no. I can only tolerate so much ignorance.

    I also wouldn't date a feminist if she is so passionate about it, in that she always has to mention that she is a feminist or try to make feminism relevant to everything. If I were to ever fall for a feminist, it's because she kept it to herself, she actually believed in equality as well as equal responsibility, and just wasn't sensitive about everything.

    1|3
    3|0
    • I don't mind if a woman is sensitive but if she's VERY sensitive that's where I take issue. I don't think I could date somebody who is too sensitive.

  • Typically not, and I include even the most moderate type of feminists with very few exceptions.

    I see the most moderate-sounding often citing a definition of feminism as simply the "belief in equality between the two sexes" as though this is the one true definition of feminism to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them.

    That's a very coercive and manipulative tactic to try to make it sound as though anyone who doesn't identify as a "feminist" must be a sexist, and I don't get along well with coercive and manipulative people.

    If such a moderate genuinely believes that feminists are the only ones who believe in equality between the sexes, then they must be incredibly naive. I likewise don't get along so well with incredibly naive people.

    I absolutely believe in and promote equal opportunities between the two sexes yet refuse to identify as a feminist. About the only type of feminist I could ever imagine dating if I was single would be one who can truly understand and empathize with my refusal.

    0|1
    0|0
    • My refusal also has little to do with "man-hating" from the radicals. I'm actually focused more on the moderates. The reason I don't identify as feminist boils down more to how feminists tend to define their ideas of what equality actually means, and also the means by which they want to address perceived inequities.

  • I don't judge people on whether they are feminist or not. I judge based on their personal values. A woman can believe in equal rights just as I do, as long as she uses true facts in going about her pursuit for equality, like the true feminist Christina Hoff sommers does. Women who believe in things like the wage gap and that 1 in 4 women in college will be raped by men are liars and too extreme for me to date.

    With that being said, I personally seek for traditional values in women. Women who can cook is a plus, good nurturers, gentle, classy, and elegant are the kind of women I'd like to marry, love and let take care of my kids.

    Below is an excellent link for true feminists to watch for 5 minutes.

    https://youtu.be/3TR_YuDFIFI

    1|2
    0|0
  • True Feminist - Yes (if she is my type of girl).
    Femi-Nazi - No way.

    3|1
    0|1
  • 1|6
    0|0
  • I don't know, the constant nitpicking could get annoying really fast :/

    0|6
    0|1
  • no, our ideology would be too far apart. I am a very vocal anti feminist and work hard to bring down the movement. I feel that the key belief of feminism is Patriarchy Theory and as I feel that it's a false premise we would fight too much over these issues.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Yes I would date a feminist. However like you said, they have to be sane and well grounded. The thing of it is, equality has to be equal, if you go beyond equal, then it becomes something else, something exclusive and that is not equal.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Agree. Although, people still. need to realise that men and women are built differently. Demanding we can walk around bare breasted just like the men can, means women would then also have to work lifting heavy as Shit stuff too. And I bet you 700 dollars those feminazis won't want to work as hard as men do with their bodies.

    • Show All
    • @TheDevilInside There is that. The beauty of our exchange is that we can agree on this subject from different sides of the fence ;-)

    • yep. It is doable.

  • No. Because a feminist is exactly that. men hating feminazi's. You try and be polite and hold a door open like a gentleman and you get a nasty comment about how she can open the door herself. Any woman that would call herself a feminist is comparing herself to those kind of horrible people. You need to come up with a different name or something. Because if she says feminist, forgetaboutit, bye...

    0|1
    1|0
    • I met a girl who is a feminist. Held the door open for her. Said thank you. There are many moderate feminists.

  • No never. Even the moderate feminists care only about female rights, they dont actually care about male rights. They advocate for increase of female rights at the cost of male rights. I can't support such a thing nor can i date a person who has these views.

    The only thing that comes out of a feminist's mouth is equality and female rights. How a movement can achieve gender equality by only representing the issues of women is beyond me. I wouldn't stick my dick in a hornets nest, why would i fuck a feminist?

    0|1
    0|0
  • As long as she ain't the anti men sexist kind ofcourse i would

    2|2
    0|0
  • per your update, so the admins thought it'd be nice to add their own shit onto your content and did it without asking you right?

    they fucking did that for my shit too. so annoying

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hell no!
    Feminism, no matter what shade of red, is a toxic child of Cultural Marxism.
    Such a woman would disqualify herself from consideration as the source of 50 per cent of the DNA in my children.
    Feminism is contrary to nature, science and the observable realities of the universe.
    I could not be interested in a woman who was that delusional and ignorant, or simply stupid.

    0|2
    2|0
    • Which feminists are you talking about. Are you talking about the nutso #52-76 genders ones? Ignoring the rules of science- you must be. Or the ones that deny men are on average stronger?

  • just funny how many retards out there associate feminists with those special snow flakes acting real bad and pretending to help a cause they don't even understand...

    4|0
    0|1
    • Those people probably live too comfortable of a life and has nothing to do so they are bored and started thinking about why female nipples aren't treated equally as male nipples

  • I have noticed most girls that say they are feminists dont even know what the definition really means and most of them are hypocrites as well.. Not all but most... The thing is in 2017 they do have equal rights if not more rights and privileges then men do... This is not 1674 any more.. Women have the same rights as men do... like said if not more in 2017.

    0|4
    3|0
    • lol love how the dudes give me the thumbs up and the girls thumbs down... ROFL

      Like what I said was wrong or a lie... . its 100 percent fucking true...

  • I married one in 1971 and we're very happy together.

    4|0
    0|1
  • No I wouldn't. I'd get her a cat, She's going to need them.

    0|7
    2|1
  • No I wouldn't and I don't differentiate between "radical" and regular feminism.
    Both have the same stupid ideas, just the delivery is different.

    0|4
    1|1
    • Yeah, the delivery is different. Some scream "I hate men" into megaphones while some just vote supporting women's issues. Delivery matters.

    • It is actually closer to:
      Feminazi - saying that all men are rapist pigs.
      "Feminist" - lowkey saying that all men are rapist pigs by bringing up lies and non-issues such as manspreading, catcalling and saying how traumatized you are because you were "forced" to act feminine in your childhood to align with the patriarchal social norms all the while you are pretending that your movement somehow cares about male issues (lol) but not before you go teaching males that rape is bad and that they should help everyone but themselves because being a white cis male they are the only ones who have ever been granted any privileges.

  • Been there, done that
    lots of bonuses
    but takes a lot of patience when the soap box comes out too long

    1|0
    0|0
  • If we're talking about a serious relationship, with a take her home to mama type of girl then that depends on if feminism defines her. If she's just a girl that says she believes in equal rights and because of that she is a feminist, then sure. If she believes in equal rights, that women don't have equal rights to men, the wage gap and rape culture. Then no I'm not on board. at least not for an exclusive relationship that could lead to marriage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Then they're not feminists. A lot of women claim to be but don't agree with the radical agenda. It just sounds good so the say they are.

    Even some feminists crave strong men. Some will even admit to the desire to be dominated sexually. You can't argue with a bazillion years of biology. :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, some girls call themselves that but deep down theyre not even in any movements or anything they just like the title, those are fine, they usually dont even care at all and just doing it to feel better about themselves even thought they aren't really doing anything.

    then you have the real ones, the ones who support feminisim and some/all of its causes, these ones are to avoid at all costs they ruined humanity, thet relationshop between men and women and everythign in our society.

    feminist men are usually weird, feminine and lack the charisma, attractiveness that women want in men, this is why women go for manly men, sleep with them then bitch about them after these men admit to not wanting anything serious, they will fall for it everytime, women do not want to date other women.

    0|1
    3|1
  • I rather chop my own balls off

    0|4
    2|1
  • Nothing wrong with a girl who wants to be treated equally... I don't believe that most people who identify as a feminist truly want equality though, just easier lives for themselves

    1|0
    0|0
  • As long as I'm not being burned on a stake for being a man, don't really care

    0|1
    0|0
  • I married a Feminist.

    2|1
    0|1
    • god have mercy on you ; oh and sooner then later your gonna get divorced raped so hard you better brace yourself...

    • @SENSEI Yeah, I'm sorry you're too weak to deal with a strong woman. Not all of us are made of the same material. I'm sure you're good at other things, though. Chin up, buckaroo!

  • yes so long as they have well thought out opinions, and do what any good girlfriend or boyfriend does, and doesn't try to force anything on me.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Date: Yes
    Marry: No

    But all in all, Its exactly what you said last, a case-by-case basis.

    0|1
    0|0
    • You would date someone you already know you aren't going to marry?

    • It was a general rule of thumb.

      Also depends on what you mean by "dating." Cause friends with benefits falls under dating in my eyes.

      Like what you said, I think the optimal woman to marry believes in equal rights for both genders. I think most people want equality for all.

      But marriage is a HUGE deal. And with divorce rates skyrocketing and courts vastly ruling in favor of the woman. It's difficult to take the risk of losing your partner, losing your home, and losing your children because your partner jumped deep into feminism and became hostile towards you and men in general.

      My girlfriend retweets the occasional feminist post, but doesn't consider herself a feminist and thinks this current wave of feminism is not necessary and only driving men and women further apart. I plan on marrying her once we graduate.

    • Sounds like a plan. I see where you're coming from. I would be concerned if I was dating a woman getting sucked into the whole feminism movement.

  • I wouldn't date an idiot, or someone who believes lies.

    Otherwise she can take whatever political stance she wants. Long as she's not a fucking moron.

    1|1
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    103
Loading...