Dudes: Would you date a medical student / doctor?

So there are some pros and cons to this.

Pros:
1. she's probably not a total dumbass
2. has great earning potential

Cons:
1. not too much free time, especially during training years
2. might earn more than you... potentially threatening?

I'm beginning to think that perhaps my line of work is a deterrent for guys. Lol. Which is just great. :p

  • Yes. Free band-aids.
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  • No. Keep your band-aids.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • From the questions on here, I think that women are way into this idea of being "threatening" or "intimidating". No guy who has a decent career is going to be threatened by a successful woman because guys who make a lot of money have a lot of goals and dreams and having a partner who can actually contribute in a meaningful manner is helpful. And I'm not talking about cooking meals and cleaning the house. I can do that myself or I can hire a maid to come in once a week to do that. I'm talking about really helping career-wise so that our timeline towards financial independence is accelerated.

    The way I see it, the woman having a great education puts more pressure on her to actually perform. My ex-wife has a Ph. D. in Biomolecular Engineering from UCLA and she works as a senior scientist doing blah blah blah. I thought it was great and all, but the truth is, she's been laid off from her job twice in the last four years. The second time was in the midst of our ugly divorce and she had the nerve to call me to tell me how she was canned and wanted to know if I'd be willing to cancel the divorce and get back together. What? I told her she needs to get out there and get a job as soon as possible because we were on course for $200k+ in legal fees.

    And that's the thing -- even though she was basically my ex-wife at that point, I was still irked that she was potentially putting us in a position where we'd have to liquidate even more assets. So, I think you need to think about the other side when you ask this question. When a guy marries a doctor, he also has some expectations and I know for me, the expectation was not that she would spend like a drunken sailor and end up pulling unemployment checks every couple years. I expected our savings, investment, and retirement accounts to grow at a certain rate and in all honesty, when I really break it down, you could argue that the reason why I filed for divorce was because she couldn't live up to those expectations.

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What Guys Said 74

  • Probably not... I have never found a doctor that was personally interesting. Smart maybe but lacking a personality for the most part. Sorry.. I am sure not all docs are like this but the ones I have met are.

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  • Threatening? Hmmm... here we go again. Honey, guys are not threatened or intimidated by anything a woman does. Unless you're actually going to kicks his ass. Then he might feel threatened or intimidated. Irritated, annoyed, disgusted, disrespected, or even patient, tolerant, respectful? Sure. Just not threatened.

    See here's the thing, guys are not impressed with all that smarts and effort and all that as much as YOU are. I'm not saying they're not impressed or don't think you should, or are even happy for you that you're successful. It's what I tell young people to do - go for it, make it big.

    But both genders are really about what you bring to a relationship for them. What of high value do you bring to a guy? Is he the most important thing to you? Probably not - your career is more important. It has to be more than just a vagina. Especially if that gets weaponized. Will you cook for him? Entertain him somehow? Go on trips with him? Challenge him mentally? That ought'a be a good one. What do you bring that is high value?

    A girl can do it, but she needs to use her smarts on how to do it. There's a recent book out I thought was apropos in these types of situation, recommendation and comment here about how simple men really are, and how you can make a man-woman relationship work even if you're a alpha, go-getter woman:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a34931-men-are-simple-not-stupid-an-alpha-woman-is-always-gonna-butt

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    • Don't know about that book, but I agree that all this "men are intimidated by degrees and money" stuff is ridiculous. I guess feminists like thinking that they're striking such a powerful impression, but it's just not true. At least not true for me, or anyone that I know of; maybe other guys do feel intimidated by that. Vanity does put me off, though; it is extremely annoying.

    • Show All
    • Are you capable of giving advice to a person without shitting on them or the gender they belong to? Do you regularly use belittling as a technique to push someone to introspect? Why do you assume that I don't reflect on these things at all? Where am I blaming anyone? I never blamed men at all for my situation. Also, why are you assuming I'm an alpha woman? I don't identify as an alpha woman AT ALL. You just keep throwing useless labels at me.

      Getting into this field was my decision, I accept that. I also understand that there are many aspects of my life which will not appeal to guys. I don't doubt my ability to be affectionate, caring, interesting, entertaining. If I was worried about that side of things, then it would be a different story entirely. My problem is that the guys I tend to be attracted to want a woman who is more flexible with her time, her availability, her ability to travel NOW.

    • Thanks for the warning about the second and third divorce. I'm sure that would become my reality if I ended up with a man as pugnacious as you are. I will glean what I can from this exchange hopefully avoid such a fate.

  • I would date a doctor. I work in medical so I'd understand her "shop talk". (Although I am not a physician.) I did date a woman medical student when I was in my last year of college. Not for very long. She had sex with one of my fellow students. But that's a different story, and she was a bit crazy... LOL... Other than that I'd consider it absolutely.

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  • Thoughts on your pros:
    1) Doesn't matter if she is smarter than me. I hope she realizes I might not be on the same intellectual level.
    2) I will support her decision to go as high as she can go in this field.

    Cons:
    1) If you can give me a fair portion of your free time I would be okay with it.
    2) I don't care who makes the money as long as we are happy and have our heads up the financial waves.

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  • No women in the medical field is even going to fart in the direction of anyone except some lawyer or doctor.

    I wouldn't even bother trying. Actually, I have a huge thing for this Hygienist. I earn about 10X what they do but it's far too much of a professional career for me to mess with.
    Man she's beautiful...

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  • Well, all doctors are different right?

    But given my interest in 'alternative therapies' and my distaste for conventional medicine in many scenarios, I'm fairly sure we'd grate on each other :)

    Also, to most peoples' eyes, I'm a bum. So, I don't think she'd date me.

    And yeah, I guess it is important to have enough 'energy' for each other. Do you think that would not be possible? I suppose you could retire at 50 or something :P

    In short, highly unlikely.

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  • NO. It does me absolutely not good if she is a medical student and ugly. In fact, I don't give a shit if she has great earning potential (they're really not earning, because they join the labor force at a late age and still have to pay off debt; an electrical or petro engineer would earn more), I doubt most guys care about earning potential. Guys want an attractive girl who he can be himself with. I personally don't give a shit if she's a medical student.

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  • Sure if she didn't have an issue dating me as a computer science student lol. I'm not threatened by a woman who earns more than me either. My self-worth as a man isn't reliant on my income. I'd respect the hard work and discipline it takes to pursue something like that too. I don't know if I would be capable of it. It's not that I'm mentally deficient or anything but I don't think I'd have the tenacity for that.

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  • A female doctor would be at the top of my wish list of potential mates, because I want children who are physically attractive AND intelligent.
    The breeding of people is subject to the same laws of genetics as is the breeding of all other animals.
    We should take even greater care with the genetic selection of our own mates as we do with the breeding of our livestock.

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  • Im so biased on this. From what i've learned, unless you two are just shagging all is good. To get serious with someone who is always knee deep in work and not... well you. nah to backfires at steak.

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  • I think a lot of guys might be put off by the cons you gave but I think that's a positive. I'm put off by nothing if I like a girl and want to get to know her. But then I'm an intelligent guy in a demanding role that I love which commands a great salary. Maybe the answers to this question are just as important as would you date a guy who is less intelligent with loads of free time and in an un-skilled role with limited earning potential? ;)

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  • It makes for great doctor role play ;) but yea I think it would be nice and I don't care if my wife/gf made more than me so long as we had money, food, and a house, cause you know struggling ain't fun. Another bonus is when you aren't feeling well maybe you can diagnose your future bf/husband. Not being a dumbass doesn't suck, not being around her enough can suck. Just be patient... LMAO!!!

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  • Meh. Trying to date a doctor or specialized surgeon that's always on call (I wasn't always a shriveled-up old loser) is about as fun as a long distance relationship. That is, it sucks. You generally seldom see each other to do anything together. Forget making plans, they will either get cancelled or interrupted far more often than not.

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  • sure we could have an interesting conversation about some of the forms of physical adaptations due to things such as work out routines, dietary and maybe other forms of effects on the biological functions within the human body

    could probably help me gain more in depth knowledge to also help me improve in training efficiency in some way to :D

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  • Depends on where her priorities are after she gets her degree. There are ways of being a doctor where you have reasonable work-time and ways where you don't. If her priorities are solely on her career, then it's a dealbreaker.

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  • Sure, why not? Medical students aren't really the only ones who don't have time and I don't mind if she makes more money than me (come on, this is the 21st century).

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  • I don't know about dating but if I get to know her a lot before deciding to go on dates and I get to like her then I think I could tolerate these cons of your's.

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  • Real question is would a medical student/doctor date me? Which would be a big fat NO. So I wouldn't date a medical student/doctor since they wouldn't date me.

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  • Nothing more sexy than a strong independent woman. Those with self confidence issues may disagree though.

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  • I would be very hesitant, purely because of the 1st con. However, I'm not going to say that it's a downright deal breaker.

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