Men are Simple, Not Stupid; and an Alpha Woman is Always Gonna Butt Heads With Her Man

[Browneye57]

Here's a short vid of an interview on FoxNews with a woman author of a book called THE ALPHA FEMALES GUIDE TO MEN & MARRIAGE: HOW LOVE WORKS:

CLICK: Alpha Women Unable To Love

I feel like a broken record here on GAG. Both genders are asking relationship questions about how and why they are having trouble managing in their relationships. The ladies can't figure out why the men are so lazy and disinterested, and the men can't figure out why the women don't want sex.

Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. If women want to find peace with men, they must find their feminine—that is where their real power lies.

I find that women pretty much refuse to comprehend just how simple men are, but instead think they are unsophisticated or stupid instead. Because women ARE NOT simple at all - they're complicated!

Women have a lot of emotion and feelings going on in their head ALL THE TIME. And they talk about their feelings - LOTS OF TALK! Men are more stoic, they will listen, but only for so long.

So here's the thing, and the author hit on it and even simplified it from my take. You can see what the author said in the short vid link up top here, but this is what I have been saying now for years - what men need:

1. Sex

Men connect emotionally via sex. This is different than women - they connect with their heart and their head. If you're gonna connect with your man you have to be intimate. And men have some 20 times as much testosterone as women - the sex-drive hormone. It's really not an option - and women will say, "Why does he keep bugging me for sex?" And now you know why. Men need to have sex with their wives.

2. Love/Attention/Respect

This is where women can do well if they're tuned in. But if they're not, if they're focused on work, kids, errands, the house, pretty much anything they think they need to be in control of, they forget to give their man the attention and affection he needs. Yep, he needs it as much as the kids, and instead of just doing that you'll hear the woman say, "He acts just like one of the kids." Well gee, if you give all your attention to the the kids, or your job or whatever, and ignore him your relationship is going to fail. It's really quite simple.

3. Food (hint - the author skips this)

This is where the funny quip comes from, "Make me a sammich'. Or, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. It's funny, or not so funny, depending on how you look at it, but women actually think it's sexist if you expect them to cook or make her man something to eat. The guy will build her a house, fix her car, mow the lawn, take out the trash, and I could go on and on, but ask her to see that he gets something to eat and she acts put out. Sure he can do it himself, but so many guys are focused on some task they are trying to complete that they forget to eat. And that's where her love and attention, and caring for him comes in.

Anyway, check out the vid link and get the book if you want to shed light on creating a successful LTR. I have not read the book yet, but I saw reference to it recently and it reflects exactly what I've been harping on for years now. Have done a few marriage counseling groups, and talked about personality trait types and the difference between men and women - and this is basic stuff couples are missing in today's busy two-income marriages.

And of course if the woman takes care of her man's very simple needs he'll repay her in spades. It's kind of a no-brainer win-win for everyone!

[spencify]

I think if more women were more understanding of a man's needs instead of bashing them for what they naturally are, they'd learn that men will move mountains for them and go to the ends of the earth to make them happy, that beautiful feminine energy is simply irresistible.

[coachTanthony]

Couldn't agree more... spot on! Nice MyTake! Hope this gets Featured!

[AnaWryneck]

This is hilarious and I can't be mad at it because we do bump heads BUT can't bring myself to fully agree I don't think he's stupid it's mean to call someone stupid even if they are in fact dumb as a brick and I for one think my man is brilliant and we pretty much crave the same amount of sex and neither of us connect Sex with love maybe we are immature but making love is a funny way to say fucking and he was a slut before we were in a relationship he was my Bestfriend I actually found his slutty life funny so I don't see how the sex to connect thing comes into play because I don't think men love everyone they do it with but some of this I can't argue even if I don't like the wording ways except the whole attention thing because when I have babies I plan on making them my life suuuure we can still get busy and when it's old enough for me to not feel like I'm betraying my baby by leaving it with someone we can go out alone but I won't clean up after him and a baby team work makes the dream work I see it is a submissive man needs a submissive female to feel Dominant and a Dominant female doesn't need to flex her dominance it just is

[Browneye57]

Punctuation much? LOL

[AnaWryneck]

On the internet? Never!

[natured]

Everything makes some sense, but generalizing the fact that " Women are complicated" will actually bring you nowhere.
The " LOTS OF TALKING " so basically the process of communicating their desires to the men in their lives is actually about TELLING YOU MEN what is going on, at least in my case, i do a lot of talking too with my man, and HE DOES LISTEN, therefore, by listening, he comprehends my issues and my thoughts about some particular issue and tries to solve it with me.
So you saying that MEN don't LISTEN and WOMEN ARE COMPLICATED are very contradictory, because if you MEN WOULD LISTEN , WOMEN WOULD SURE BE LESS COMPLICATED...
Just saying

[Browneye57]

Well, this is rather comical coming from a 28 yo woman. Proof once again that you are clueless about the world around you. One would hope you had reached a little more maturity by this age.

First of all this take was not about women's FEELINGS. We all know that your whole world centers around your feelings. And you like to talk about your feelings. What you're not getting is they are JUST FEELINGS. They are valid for you but not necessarily for everyone else, and particularly an SO. Google this term: solipsism which describes your reply and attitude perfectly.

Next, the reference to women being complicated was simply a comparison to men being simple, not any kind of slight on women. The whole point I want you to understand is that you can unlock the key to your man with these three simple things. Don't want to? Fine. Don't then. Just know this is where you're missing the boat.
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[Browneye57]

And the whole complicated woman and all the talking thing is a well known phenomena. Women speak on average some 20-25K words per day. A man about 5K. Women are covert communicators with a lot of nuance, men are overt communicators - they say what they mean and mean what they say - there's no hidden meaning or agenda. Women on the other hand will talk around and around a subject, talk about all their feelings, but never got to the real point of it, and then expect men to understand. They just don't! And you tend to read all kind of hidden meaning in what they say - they're just not that complicated. Women are masters at nuance!

So you keep harping about men listening - but they're tuning you out, all your chatter. Consider that is what your girlfriends are for - chatter with them. You can go on and on about all your feelings with them. A man is not your emotional tampon.

And all the talking in the world is not going to change them, and not going to make women less complicated. -->con

[natured]

Ok, if you say so, wish you a great day Sir. :)

[Browneye57]

Your response to this take is bitter. Just the way we like our women, like our coffee, cold and bitter. LOL

"If you men would listen..." Classic. You see, we're just tired of all your whining and complaining. Consider that just because you have a feeling doesn't make it a requirement that you share it. These argumentative qualities will never serve you well in a relationship.

And next will come the character assassination because you can't argue on facts - so next you'll say what a jerk I am, or I am such an asshole. Or a sexist. Yep. So I'll inform you upfront that I have children older than you, all well adjusted and highly successful. I have been with the same woman for longer than you've been on the planet. In fact, I have spent more time married that you have lived your life. I have spent countless years studying man-woman relationships and know what works and what doesn't.

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[Browneye57]

It is obvious to me that you reacted here instead of taking it in and trying to see if perhaps you could improve your relationship (s). But no, you'll just go on whining and complaining, and TALKING all your talk. But perhaps there's a seed planted, and maybe one of these years after all of your failed relationships you'll realize that maybe you could make some adjustments and things would go much better for you. I'm sure you think you know it all, but you don't.

[natured]

Okay, well i really am happy for you and your life, if you want a standing ovation SURE i'll give you that as well, and i compliment you about it, but it is not fair to RUB THIS IN MY FACE and making me FEEL that i am none of that just because i commented whatever i commented, because YOU SIR don't know me, I did NOT offend you, YES i might be young, but i also have a very healthy and amazing relationship, YES i am mature, and YES me and my man TALK and I understand every necessity he has, i took my role as a WOMAN since I am living with him, I DO have sex with him often because it looks like we have the same testosterone level (it might be because we are romantic Italians) I am not ashamed to give my man attention, and respect because he DESERVES it, because he IS a hard working man, kind, good mannered, and he gives me the same attention back.
I WOULD never in life call you a sexist or a jerk or any of those words, because yes i am mature and you don't deserve to be called like that

[natured]

Many failed relationships? Sir i only had 1 relationship and I AM STILL in this relationship :) this and I am so disappointed that you would just JUDGE my like that, but HEY, all women WINE and are stupid. WELL OKAY, if you want me to agree I will because I DO AGREE and instead of criticizing every word i say and TRYING TO predict WHO I AM...
AGAIN YOU DON'T KNOW ME..
Thank you

[Browneye57]

Outstanding that you're doing well. As I like to say, if the shoe fits wear it. :)

But here's the thing - if you understand the concept of what men need, and agree, then why are you arguing? Why not just say, "right on, absolutely"? Somehow that must make you feel weak to aquiess or agree with someone. If you do this with your guy you will always butt heads. Or with pretty much anyone else as well.

I'm happy for you that you are successful and well adjusted in your relationship. You must have it all figured out.

Oh, and women have a very small percentage of testosterone in their system - men some 15-25 times much. This is why women simply cannot physically understand the male sex drive. If they could experience that it would be a game changer.

But alas, if your frequency expectation is similar then that will make your sexual compatibility much much higher.

[natured]

Sure Sir and I am more than happy that you FINALLY understood that i am not somebody who jumped from one relationship to another, and that kinda HURT to read to be honest, I WOULD AGREE, but sometimes i think the way you are expressing yourself looks like you are ATTACKING people and not criticizing constructively, which YES a lot of us women need, JUST like you men need it too.

When i don't feel attacked, I WILL AGREE, because we are not perfect, and you Sir are not perfect either, but you are very smart and Intelligent... Just maybe a little change of TONE would be appreciated..
Thank you <3

[Browneye57]

Well see, there ya go... trying to change a man into something YOU think should be different. You want to talk about 'tone'. LOL Nevermind any content or validity, just HOW it was said. Right. And you started out saying you talk a lot to be telling men 'what is going on'. Your words. Right again.

And it was YOU that decided to take it personally, this is all on you. YOU decided to take offense instead of realizing that half of what we write here is exaggerated for shock value because people generally just don't get it. It's a discussion point wherein hopefully the parties can actually get something out of it.

Anyway, good on you that you have it all figured out at 28 - for most it takes a LOT longer than that. May your love life be all that you wish it to be. :)

[natured]

Thank you

[angiebangie]

You know, I read a book by Shaunti Feldhahn called "For Women Only." And it goes over so many points you made here! I completely agree. This has inspired me to write my own mytake from your point of view... Girls, all girls, alpha girls... its so liberating when we are what's at our core: feminine beings. If you don't know what I mean, try letting it out and you'll see. Whenever I'm around a man, it turns itself on especially strong. I can't help it, its who I am as a woman.
I'm so lucky to have grown up with brothers, so I know that men really are so much simpler than woman. I don't have time to go over any of your other points, but I do agree with you on all of them!!

[Browneye57]

I had forgotten that I posted this 'take. Still stands true.
And yes, there is much contrast in the two genders - yes, there are two. LOL
The giant lie of feminism is that everybody is the same and equal. While we all like to have equal say, things just will never be the same or equal. And tit-for-tat will be never ending battle in any relationship, so just skip it. Let men be men, and women be women. They're both at their happiest when this happens.

[redeyemindtricks]

Mhm... men need X, men need Y, men need Z, and here's a good little wife's checklist for those things.

... And the other half? Y'know, the stuff that MEN should do, to help give their WOMEN the things A, B, and C that they need? That... "masculine energy"? Looks like you accidentally left that part out...

[Browneye57]

Fodder for a different take. As typical, women can't stand anything that is about men that has any reflection on her. Sad really. Good luck with you and yours toots. :)

[redeyemindtricks]

Nah, it has nothing to do with "can't stand it" -- it's rlly the whole underlying attitude of basically catering to the least common denominator.

The secret for so-called "alpha women" has nothing to do with jamming our square selves into the proverbial round hole of "traditional femininity". That would be stifling for BOTH halves of the relationship.
The secret, for such a woman, is to find a man who can *sexually* overwhelm her -- and then to put that man through whatever common-sense tests to see whether he's actually a viable relationship partner (... and a man like THAT is damn well going to put *her* through her own share of tests!). And if he is, it's a game of constant titillation, low-level conflict, and seduction that can last an entire lifetime.

... also, if there's anything that's absolutely a constant among all the "alpha women" I personally know, it's that ALL of us -- every single one -- *need* sexual intensity to form any sort of meaningful emotional relationship with

[redeyemindtricks]

a man.
That's the biggest irony I see in this take -- yr point no. 1 does have some currency for many (perhaps most) women, but, you happen to be talking about THE one group of women for whom that point is just completely wrong.

__

One place where we definitely DO see eye to eye, though, is the spirit of yr point no. 2.
One of the most important keys to a successful marriage is for the couple to put each other's wants far, far above the kids' wants. Genuine *needs* come first, of course -- regardless of whose they are -- but, after that, it's all about setting an example of putting each other's wants above all else.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I'm having a good amount of difficulty wrapping my head around a man giving a woman "tests." Care to explain that a little more?

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel

Among others --

• Being blunt and to the point when she legitimately fucks something up
(if she takes it personally, fail; if she takes it constructively, pass)

• Expecting her to problem-solve on her own, and not to come running to him for validation every time she's the least bit less than 100.000% certain about something
(self explanatory)

• Expecting her to give as good as she gets sexually, in terms of both enthusiasm and shared vibes
(also self explanatory... if she's just a passive object, or if there isn't an instant connection, then, fail)

• Not throttling his own charisma with other women when she's around
(if the claws come out immediately, fail; if she knows that's just who he is and can trust his promises to her, pass)

Etc etc.

My man still keeps me on my toes every day, after all these years. He makes me *better* -- as a mother, and just as myself.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Your third point is interesting. From what I've seen of you, I was led to believe you thought it's the man's fault if the woman isn't enthusiastic.

[redeyemindtricks]

@FýrdracaDócincel lol nah.
I do think the boy's responsibility to try to get the woman off is greater than the reverse (... since boys are pretty much gna get off no matter what) -- and that women need to be pretty hard-line about having our own needs fulfilled. Mb that's what you had in mind -- like, my opinion here
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a33183-girls-should-we-just-give-up-on-sex

But, baseline enthusiasm? Nh that's not rlly something that is reasonably going to be within the boy's control. Honestly, a lack of enthusiasm is most likely the result of (1) some kind of hormonal imbalance, and/or (2) a VERY longstanding repression of the woman's sexuality. Those aren't things a boy can undo with nothing but magic fingers.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I understand what you mean now. Got it.

I'm gonna shift gears to another part of your opinion, if you don't mind.. the part about "sexually overwhelming" a woman.

I've been on this site a while now. As of late, this site is increasing in the number of girls who preach the notion of women being inevitably free in the bedroom.

On one of your opinions, you make a statement that went something like "if a woman's ability to say 'yes' or 'no' has any effect on the interaction, she is actually in control." Also you tend to mention the effect he has on you.. something about "breaking down your will and annexing it into his own." I'm wondering how these two viewpoints can coexist the way they do. One where the woman is always truly in control and another where a guy can make a girl practically jump through hoops.

Back when I had the username "ArchDruidMordred," you mentioned something to me about "the pull of a natural leader"

((Cont'd))

[FýrdracaDócincel]

((btw, while I'm on the subject, I'd like to apologise as I clearly annoyed you at the time)).

Could that have something to do with it? Is it something that can potentially be tapped into most women with ((considering the guy is, all in all, right for her)) or is it more specialized than that?

[Browneye57]

This seems reasonable.
But man, you got an ax to grind. Good luck with all that.
We would last about five minutes and I'd tell yo to go fuck yourself. [shrug]

[redeyemindtricks]

Been ecstatically happily married for just about 16 years now. It just gets better every year.

All the best to you, too.

[AnaWryneck]

This

[redeyemindtricks]

@AnaWryneck <3

@FýrdracaDócincel hm, mb pm me?

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Sure thing

[Anonymous]

Brilliant take, brilliant video, brilliant author.

"Feminine energy" is a great way to characterize it, and it is exactly what modern western women are missing today.

Today's women have no clue how to be women. Suzanne Venker gets it. I wish more women would get it.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Exactly.

I like a woman who isn't afraid to challenge me and push my buttons a little bit.

But if she's hellbent on metaphorically reducing me to a bloody smear on the floor because "that's what strong women do and (I) wasn't man enough to handle (her)," don't let the door slap your ass on the way out.

[Eternallylucky]

She's turning into a man here.

[cupidkisses]

Good point