Guys, if a woman has many options, is that a turn on or turn off for you?

[Anonymous]

I recently read an article about how to get out of the friendzone as a woman.

One point stated that I should make myself "desirable" and be chased by every guy, basically showing the guy that I could be snapped up any minute.
All in all, have a lot of options.

Is that a turn on or turn off?

Would you be motivated pursuing a woman like this?

Turn on

Turn off.

[JSmuve]

Its a turn off because why would she want me when she's got a dozen or so other options? I'm not good at convincing people I'm the best option and more often than not, there's someone better out there. Plus, chicks that have a lot of options tend to behave similarly with all their suitors so I have no clue whether she's actually interested in me or is just being friendly and I generally lean towards the latter.

Whatever article you read is probably full of shit and written by a chick who has no clue what she's talking about. If a girl wants to get out of the friendzone, she needs to do three things:
1) be flirty
2) be genuinely interested in his life
3) be caring and affectionate

If the guy's interested in you romantically then you're out of the friendzone. Otherwise nothing will help you. What that article is recommending is tantamount to making a guy jealous, which is a shitty thing to do and shows bad character on your part.

[ManOnFire]

Really not sure how to answer this, and not sure if turn off/on is exactly the right way to look at it. A woman with many options would probably just treat me and all the rest as just that - options. Not really as anything potential. It would probably never be serious for her because she will think she can have any guy at any time.

[SamusMcManus]

MASSIVE turn OFF!!!

I'll tell you the exact psychology behind why too!

First of all, we're visual creatures. No man (of quality or that's not dysfunctional or disgusting) wants a woman who has been with loads of other men. And by showing off your options you are portraying that image.

It's also a seriously disrespectful thing to do to someone you actually *think* you give a sh*t about! Which you clearly do NOT if this is your behaviour towards him.

It's a game you're playing games which means it's dishonest!

Also, to everyone saying a confident man would find it a turn on... no!

Confident men do NOT, by their very nature, pedestalise women!

I'll repeat that. CONFIDENT MEN DO NOT PEDESTALISE WOMEN...

and what is this weird competitive thing with other men over one woman thing? It's exactly that!

Also, I'm so confident that I think I'M the prize and not the woman!

So if I see a bunch of horny men chasing some woman I just think, "that woman is surrounded by a bunch of low quality men, but none of them are me!!!

Also, for me, I know that game. So who are you fooling exactly?

Also, and this is likely the MOST important point...

In a world of users, abusers, manipulators, liars, narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths... a woman who is surrounded by, and worse FLAUNTING all her options, demonstrates one thing and one thing only...

A complete lack of BOUNDARIES!!!

A lack of boundaries is a sign of a low quality woman, not one of high quality!

To everyone who thinks it's a turn ON... you're gross, horny and lack self respect.

Try doing what ACTUAL confident men do and GROW...

Education is highly important to us confident men as well as fitness and basically growth in all directions (which is where we ACTUALLY take part in the competition)

Also if you are confident and competing then you will inevitably meet what is known as a HATER...

Another reason why this silly immature behaviour won't work. "Brilliant a potential love interest that's utterly surrounded by potential haters"

I've had haters literally turn to stalking and doing sneaky shit just to try to annoy me anonymously... you think I need to create more of them?

Are you f-cking r£tarded or what?

I rest my case your honour!!!

[Cosytoasty]

It's a slight turn-on. I see it as a competition and i love competition.

But if i see the girl playing the multidate game, then I have a green light to do the same (which I enjoy to be fair). The only time it's a turn-off is if she can put her self about but then has an issue with me doing it.

[10dsw]

I would not, no. Many guys will find this sort of thing to be a huge liability (i. e. the girl could just ship any moment). But more importantly, this is obvious game playing and nowadays many guys are very quick to walk away the moment they sense game playing

[GingerGuy]

I disagree because it shows (or can) disinterest. I would start doubting myself and likely just give up (ie, I don't have a chance when she "has her pick" of guys so why bother). That's just me though. Granted, guys with more confidence might disagree but most guys don't have it, we just "pretend" to because it's "expected".

[EmptyVoid]

Neither. If I like a woman, even when no one else in the world wants her I'd still like her; if I don't like her, I still wouldn't like her even if everyone else is pursuing her.

[Dudeman1234]

Personally, I like chicks that are into me. Show that care, are attracted, and willling to make the effort to be with me. I have no interest pursuing a girl that thinks of me as back-up or jist another option. I want our connection to both be mutual and special.

[Browneye57]

It always depends on the situation. If you're pursuing all your options then it may very well be that you'll not commit to one guy, so why would they want to pursue you? Or if you're dating one you dump him for another? Most guys don't see that as a plus.
Google this term: hypergamy

Options are good, but I wouldn't convey them to everybody. Just have them, have a back up plan. Women naturally do this anyway.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Huge turn off.

It's a turn off to the point where I'm just not going to hang around you any more, even as a friend, if I have to put up with seeing or listening to a bunch of things mean to covey this idea to me - and the whole idea is the appear 'desirable' and communicate that notion to me indirectly, so it makes sense to assume that witnessing this stuff is inevitable for me.

I'm not going to play that game thank you very much. I'm going to collect my things and leave.

[Djaaay]

No... I don't chase or pursue women like that. Why is it , you women think your the only ones with options? And to have to (make your self desirable) , suggest your fake anyway. And this is just a phony game you women just love to play on others. Typical...

[cavmanier]

Would you like a house more if you have to pay ten times more for it? Everything else being equal, it becomes less appealing to most people. Some may want a challenge though and others may be more interested based partly of others assessment of you.

[Giacomanzo]

Nothing to do with the question but with the house thingy. Do you know that if Ferrari would lower their prices they woul actually sell less? The super-luxury industry is weird, their clients, very wealthy people, would perceive that as a lower quality or prestige, even if the car is exactly the same.

[JakeHess]

It's more complex than that. A more confident guy MIGHT see this as a reality check that you're desirable. But I believe most guys will be deterred by seeing other guys after a girl. For various reasons

[JohnDoe3000]

It won't work. He has already decided he doesn't like you that way and won't change his mind just because he sees you being chased by someone else, only women do that. Besides, if you have so many options, why get hung up on him in the first place?

[Anonymous]

LOL! There's only one way to get out of the friendzone for a girl--be hotter. Why? Because there's only one reason a guy puts a girl in the friendzone to begin with--not sufficiently attracted to her sexually. And for us guys (as opposed to you girls) that generally has MUCH more to do with looks than personality qualities (e. g., confidence, etc.)

[Savreth]

Seriously man, that is the largest piece of bullshit I've read in a while, and we're on G@G.
The way out of the friendzone for women is exactly the same for men. Step up to the plate, speak your mind but if that friendzone persists then do not keep that around with one-sided emotional attachment. It has nothing to do with "be hotter". I've friendzoned very attractive friends before due to the fact that she wasn't emotionally matching with what I desire (d). Intellectually we weren't on the same page so while we are good friends, we're not material to be seriously together. She's a gorgeous woman but physical appearance is but one part of the whole. I want someone whom I can be with for the end of my life where there is mutual understanding at the deepest level, and with her I didn't feel that connection.

So drop the bullshit about sex being the primary motivator. If that was the reason, I'd unfriendzone half my female friends purely because they are attractive as hell.

[HikerDude]

I only date attractive girls, so I know that they all have tons of options. When I'm out with a girl every pathetic little dude looks at us with jealousy, so yeah, I know my girls are wanted and have options.

[fueledbythc]

A girl showing me that she has options will make me distant. Doing that to me is showing that she doesn't want me to pursue her.

[TheTallguy993]

Especially being south Asian and in the states. We're taught to not approach women so we never really learn those skills. Competition is with more extroverted white guys who are a lot more assertive. It's like fighting kryptonite

[Prakbio]

in a Hypothetical situation... if you are in a committed relationship and making yourself desirable.. it would be turn off for me if i am you man or if i know that man with whom you are in a relationship now...

[NotBlueAnon]

Neither. If I don't want her, it doesn't matter how desired she is by other guys because I'm not going to change my opinion

[Mitch6192]

Turn off. It makes me go after someone else, as this shows her no longer interested in me.

[Asker]

But if you were not interested in her, like you friendzoned her in the first place, would it make you jealous?

[Mitch6192]

Nah. I think that only works from the womens side if they friendzone the guy.

[slutsdontgetoral]

Not necessarily a turn on but I only dated independent women. Career. Own place. Car. Own money. Doesn't have to put up with any man's bullshit because she depends on him financially/

[DodgersGM]

That sounds a lot like game-playing, which I don't do. At all.

[Anonymous]

That article was probably written by a woman, and a projection of her subconscious. I. e, what she finds attractive in a man. Most women find a popular man more attractive...

[romeo_and_cats]

I go out with girls who have boyfriend "I don't give a f***k!"

[SamusMcManus]

"I don't give a f**k!"

Yep, clearly!

You don't mind sharing. Which is not a confident trait it shows a serious lack of self esteem!!!

[Aming]

its neither a turn off nor on. its just a reality check.

[Giacomanzo]

It is a turn off, but not in the sense that you think of.
My first instinct would be to think "with such a large pool of guys chasing her, I won't be the one she will eventually choose"

[lobate]

I honestly don't care about that. If I like a girl I will pursue at least a bit.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's a turn off for me. No i don't like the idea of chasing women.

[Anonymous]

Turn off. It's not a nice feeling knowing you're out here tryna woo her alongside god knows how many other dudes. Makes it feel like a competition, which it shouldn't be.

[Piluex]

Is just a reminder of how slim the chances of getting anywhere eith her are, if anything.

[SVUCE]

If she has options that means im not number one so i have better luck with someone else.