Why did my boyfriend buy me cheap jewelry for my birthday?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend bought me a cheap $15 necklace for my birthday. We went out to the bar the night before and to eat the day of my birthday. However, he didn't give me the gift on time. It was two days late not to mention a childrens necklace (that was probably a honest mistake.) We have been together, just boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 years! Why would he get me such a cheap piece of jewelry?

Updates

+1 y

I'm not a greedy person I just wonder why he couldn't have tried a little harder. On time? A card or even a 30 dollar necklace. He can afford something nicer. Does the value of his gift show how he values me?

[Anonymous]

That would upset me too... And here's why:

- Jewelry is expensive. Cheap jewelry is very noticeable. So if you can't afford it, don't buy something trashy. Get a simple dress, a cute album, anything - but not cheap jewelry
- You've been together for years. He knows your birthday is coming up. Which means, he could have saved for a few months and gotten you something decent - just like I do every year for my boyfriend
- The fact that it was children's jewelry makes me wonder if he didn't just forget about your birthday and got something random and cheap so he didn't come empty handed. Ugh.

It's really not about being materialistic. When you're in a serious relationship, you expect something more meaningful from you S. O.

[Asker]

Thank you I feel the same.

[dragonfly6516]

Mine didn't get me a gift on my birthday at all.

Why should you pick one arbitrary day a year to show someone how much you love them? That's why we don't exchange gifts in Christmas or valentines day either.

He does SO much for me ALL the time, that I surprise him whenever I have extra money.

The only day we did go out and try to celebrate is our anniversary, and we usually do dinner and movie.

[PinkMichae]

At least he tried. It's the thought that counts. He cares enough to take you out to dinner for your birthday and give you a gift a few days later and that's a problem? Because he didn't spend a lot of money on You? Sounds like the problem is your way of thinking. You should start concentrating on what he gives you in your everyday relationship like love, attention, etc... Don't be so materialistic.

[Asker]

I'm not but 15 after three years and two days late is just hurtful.

[PinkMichae]

But it shouldn't be. The best way to be disappointed is to expect things. In my eyes he tried and I would be thankful. My so of 3 years bought us matching crosses with a ring around them. Later I found out it only cost him $10 for both. It's one of my favorite necklaces because he gave it to me because he loves me and us. So I don't get it at all.

[BigRayFromNC]

First of all the main thing here is no matter what the cost of a gift it is the thought that really counts as the person took the time to buy you something. No matter if your boyfriend spent $15.00 or $1500.00 again it is the thought that counts. Remember no one has to buy a gift for anyone and most people do it out of the kindness of their heart.

Try to take into consideration that perhaps he could only afford $15.00 to get you that necklace or perhaps he had to borrow the money from someone else to get it for you or there is even the case that he thought you were only worth $15.00 dollars to spend on for a necklace and no matter what the reason was the next time you see him give him a good warm hug and simply say "Thank you"...

[Robsinsf53]

Because he's obviously foolish. No I don't necessarily think he values you like a cheap piece of jewelry. He just isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Just treat birthdays the way I do, treat them like an ordinary day. You've been together 3 years, you should know each other pretty well by now? My ex wife and I did the gift thing and after the first year I suggested that we'd discontinue and just spend that day with the birthday person picking what the plans are. To get the one you love to be unconditionally "yours" for a day? PRICELESS !

[karahiri]

because he's a dumbass. dump this idiot.

[drakec316]

I mean, is it not pretty? Because if it's a pretty piece, maybe he couldn't quickly enough find a nicer version.
Did he order it online? Sometimes the pictures on the sites listing make it look like high end jewelry when it's not.
Here are underlying factors that you seem to be ignoring, because your focused on the amount of money he spent for it.

[myth0sfreak]

I can't tell you has many times I have ordered something online or had something ordered online for me and it be of a significantly lower value than what was paid for.

[mcfofo]

If this is the best he could scrounge up, to be honest I'd feel bad for him more than anything. It sounds like he had made an honest mistake (which you said yourself about it being a childrens' necklace). My guess is that, if you've been together for three years and that's what he came up with, there's something else going on that kept him from doing something bigger and is now too embarrassed to try to fix it.

[Nyx_85]

It's not about the money money money...

Maybe he forgot or didn't have the time and just grabbed what he thought you'd like. Or...

Maybe he's having financial problems because he's taken up gambling. And hookers. And blow.

Maybe he's spending his money on someone else. Someone nicerprettier... younger.

No? He would never do that? That's cool. But now your $15 necklace probably doesn't seem as bad considering these potential reasons eh?

You are welcome.

[Nyx_85]

*nicer, prettier

[Anonymous]

Materalistic items are just that, materialistic. I remember I dated someone who had a birthday, I spent 200.00 on flowers and a stuffed animal for him. I had no idea what to get him, we just started dating. He ended up calling me yelling that I could have bought something more useful. Gifts can't buy love nor show it, we take people for granted by viewing being spoiled as love. I mean at least he remembered your birthday? Hard to really say when we don't live the relationship. Just confront him if it bothers you.

[RuthAnn1781]

The value of the gift has nothing to do with how much he values you. He might have thought that you'd like it. Like I've gotten people cheap things before, people that I love more than anything, and it's not because I don't care about them, it's because I saw something that I thought they would like so I bought it for them. The price of a gift doesn't matter, the thought behind it the gift and your relationship with the person are the most import things

[LifeEqualsLove]

I think that is pretty cheap, but also know guys aren't the best to go shopping especially for jewelry. My first thought is that he bought it online, it looked bigger in the pic, which explains why it was late.

If this became a habit I would address it, if it was the first time & the other gifts were good then I would let it go.

[Asker]

Walmart not online. Thank you for your advice.

[nevermoregirl7]

You can crumble the cookie however you want, but you still come off as snobby. My boyfriend got me a ring... from wish. But it is a ring I love despite the price because it is exactly something I would pick out if it was from a more expensive store like Macy's. And would you have really been thrilled with a card?

[Demiurge6]

The question is why are you expecting something expensive? Is he obligated to spend ton of money on you only because you are dating?

[jimmijo1954]

Maybe he could give you something on your birthday because he had to wait till he got paid or was waiting on more money as for the gift maybe he just has bad taste or is clueless as to what really looks good or has no fashion sense it’s the thought that counts

[Stamps]

You said in your update ''Why couldn't he have tried a little harder?'' and your example is ''A card or even a 30 dollar necklace'' which only is more expensive. Why do you care about the price tag? Does the necklace look nice? If it does, what are you complaining about?

[Anonymous]

What he did as not thoughtful or considerate. I get where you are coming from.
To make you feel better... I hope.
My boyfriend gave me recycle gife. The piece has a cross. I am not religious. His ex was. It’s obvious the was for ex.
Your next question in regards to value...
How did he value you the first 2 yrs?

[Asker]

He is a little cheap but usually more thoughtful. We do nice things for each other daily and our time together, I guess I just expected a little more. He has bought me another necklace before also from walmart but costed around 30 or forty and a cheap purse , earrings and portable charger but that was great because he at least tried and put the necklace in the purse for me to find. This time it was just the necklace no card or thought put into it and late

[Asker]

Also I'm sorry about your ex's gift

[Opinion Owner]

IS he tight with money?

Those were really nice with what he did. I wouldn’t talk to him and see how things go... marriage in picture?

[Opinion Owner]

MY situation is diff. I don’t know my purpose I need his life or him in mine...
he has done other nice things... he made a slide of our one year together... it was beautiful. Massages me all the time... gives love through service...
But he did give a lot to a woman who never wanted him and he just gave and she just took and I am resenting it... to the point I want to break up with him... because I feel he lint loved her and accepting me in his life.
Except I camel came to his life to break him off from her... no one were able to cut them apart... his best friends, his ex girlfriend, his counselor, no one... he put her above all for 10 years till i am now the bad wiman to cut them off from each other.

[Anonymous]

You sound a bit greedy. I mean he got you a present, took you out for drink and took you out for supper. You know some people don't get anything for their birthdays, I know because I am one of those people. So be grateful for what you got. Who knows next birthday you might not have anyone and you won't get a gift.

[ftmatt]

Relationships shouldn't be about what WE think is reasonable, it's for the 2 of you to establish the expectations for your relationship.

That being said, it's pretty lame of him unless the expectation was that the dinner out was the gift, unless you went to McDonald's I'm sure it cost more than $30.

[Asker]

We eat out thats not really a gift. I also cook for him most days unless we plan on eating something quick and simple. We also spend about the same on eating out.

[Humbledman74006]

Just curious, what did you get him. for his birthday

[Asker]

Last year. Not a lot but thoughtful. I took him to eat lunch since some people count that. I made him a five layer cake of coke a cola (cans) with ribbons around it and lots of candy decorated very nice a dyi project. Using his favorite soda and candy. I bought ceramic oven proof plate and dyi decorated it , it said made with all my love and had our names and his favorite home cooked food on it waiting, bought him a phone and underwear. Then we went out with his friends, then came back home for some birthday sex.

[CaptainDark]

at least u could have lied here that u did something nice!! If i would be your boyfriend! I would break up without a second thought with you!! You are piece of shit greedy girl! You expect good when u dont do anything nice for him on his birthday? What u want him to do? Get you a diamond? Being hypocrite bitch is fashion! Saying materialistic thing are not good blah blah and then complaining about necklace he gave! Fk it , u dont even deserve that 15 dollar necklace , he should break up with u instead! U piece of shit greedy girl!

[Anonymous]

Honestly and sadly enough most guys don't put anymore effort in dating. I hate to burst your bubble but b glad he's still with you after 3 years and even got you anything at all. All everyone does now is sleep around with no commitment.

[Queen_gamer]

At least he got you something and he took you out twice. I wouldn't complain. it may be on the cheaper side but at least he thought about you. You should be happy he didn't forget your birthday completely

[Anonymous]

It's been 3 years and that's the only jewelry he buys? Drop him. You're too old to sit around and wait on him to mature

[TripleAce]

Hahahhaha oh my lol... sound like such an awkward moment hahaha your face when he gives you some cheap ass 2 day late 15 dollar chain lol.. bahhah

So why did he though? Is he always like that?

[vittle1999]

He forgot. He knew I'd expect something n he got u something. Probably he is broke too. Good question to ask him what was going through his mind when he got that for u.