Boyfriend traveling abroad with ex girlfriend - does he still have feelings for her?

Question

I've been dating this guy for 6 months. 2 months into the relationship, after he met my parents and just before I was about to meet his parents, he told me that he felt guilty because he had booked 2 trips abroad with his ex (one in August and one in October). He insisted on taking the trips, told me that he's just friends with his ex. They dated for 5 years and broke up 3 years ago. The odd part is he told me that he didn't want to tell her about me (he told me they don't discuss with each other who they date), told me that he would be sharing a hotel room with her (to save money) and he hasn't had a relationship with anyone other than me since they broke up. He also won't add me to facebook - I know he uses it (he's been on it around me). My thoughts are that he has many pictures with his ex traveling abroad (they've been to several countries together) and he doesn't want me to see them. This whole situation is odd - he told me that they didn't work as a couple and continued to date mainly so they could continue to share their passion of traveling. He did however tell me that they fought on their last trip back in August. Why continue something with someone if you can't get along with that person and why hide/jeopardize promising new relationships?

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Excuse my language but THAT IS TOTALLY FUCKED UP!! he’s insisting on taking trips with his ex? WRONG ANSWER! He doesn’t want to tell his ex he has a new girlfriend? WRONG ANSWER! If he loved and even cared about you and this relationship he has with you, he’d 1), want to take you on the trips and 2) want to tell everyone he has a new girlfriend. Please don’t be so naive as to think this is a good relationship for you to be in. He doesn’t think mush of your relationship and by extension doesn’t think much of you except he must be thrilled he can reationalize his shitty behavior and have you accept it. Don’t.

LunaJ · Accepted Answer

i'm only going to point out 2 things:
1. he doesn't event mentioned you to her.
when I'm only a friend with a guy, we talk about our relationships too. i have more male friends than girls.
2. they "broke up" 3 years ago. yet they go to program only the 2 of them. private, intimate program.
and you don't find it suspicious⁉❔❓❕

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Yeah that's fucked up. I would not be okay with that at all. If he's hiding you and insists on going on trips abroad, sharing a room with her, and insists on keeping you a total secret... sorry, but that smells like "scumbag."

AlphaM1 · Accepted Answer

Lets go over what you said. Dating 6 months, he felt guilty, he had booked 2 trips with his ex. Told you he is friends with the ex (5 years in and broke up 3 years ago) first question he booked the trips 3 years ago? The odd part he didn't tell her about you, sharing a hotel room together with her. They continue to date mainly to share their passion of traveling. I'll stop here and tell you. something is wrong big time because if he is sharing his passion with someone else and not you then there is a problem. Either you talk to him and tell him to tell you the truth or if you can tolerate it then go ahead.

jdashado · Accepted Answer

Did you offer to buy the trip so he could pass on going? Its expensive to travel. Should he just eat the loss so that you're insecurity is pampered? Just a thought. He's not married and he's paid for the trip. I see nothing wrong with it. Whether you tolerate it is your decision.

spuitkaas · Answer

Very shady. Why does he travel with her and not with you? You might like traveling as well and you're his girlfriend.

He doesn't really respect your feelings to be honest. He must understand that he's hurting you by doing this. It sounds like other things in his life are more important than you.

jdoutworld · Answer

Ok. So generally I look at things and say when a guy wants to keep a relationship a secret. I am not down for that. Traveling abroad on a trip or two with an ex booked before you met. Ok. Not telling her... not ok. Not at least letting friends on Facebook know about your relationship... not ok. Not showing you pictures they took... not ok.

This stinks. I'm not saying he's cheating or doing anything with her but there are correct ways to run a relationship and he isn't doing those things.

WalterRadio · Answer

Were you born yesterday?  They are going to sleep together.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh gosh. He is your boyfriend. And he is not acting like one! I would be so so so so so upset. Not the part that he's traveling with his ex. But, why he seems so strange and hides everything! If i were you, i will ask him to told me everything (honestly) why he do what he did or i will just end it.

Really, girl, you deserve better.

Mado108 · Answer

I cannot believe what I just read! Girl, please go far away from him... He is playing with you, he is still with that girl. They are going sleep together. You’re going to be hurt.

Wonderingfool · Answer

he's going to try to get with her at some point during that trip; even if he honestly isn't planning to now :)

Idontknow012 · Answer

Really?

QueenofCups · Answer

Sounds like he still likes her. Also, I have NEVER booked a trip three years in advance. Sounds suspicious to me. Why doesn't he just cancel and get his money back?

Richareens · Answer

This is some shady shit. Just when you're about to meet his parents. Dump his ass.

daffodile · Answer

Something seems "fishy". No mention of you. No Facebook. Personally the whole thing doesn't sit well with me. 😞

Kuraj · Answer

I think you need to reevaluate the extents of your trust in people. Also, dumpity dumpity your boyfriend.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Why would someone book a trip with someone who they've not been with for 3 years? I'm willing to bet that you're the side piece and meeting the parents was an act.

BigBadBo · Answer

Look... You might dislike me for saying this... But he's playing you... Hard..

BystanderSyndrome · Answer

Depends if they act like brother and sister now. If she's basically family, you'll be fine. If they don't even talk much, you should worry.

tuxedochimp · Answer

Just start dating other people and tell him they're your friends. You might as well do what he is.

Anonymous · Answer

Girl, that's bs. Don't hate me for saying this. That man is selfish. They're planning to go f*** in a different country. Sounds like a honeymoon to me. If he hide you from his Facebook, what else is he hiding?

chrisbigman · Answer

Possibly. Why is he traveling with her? Yeah, I'd say he still has feelings for her. What he's doing is VERY strange, for someone in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Too many red flags here. If I had to hedge a bet I'd go with they'll end up sleeping together.

DesiBeautyLover · Answer

I would say so. No one travels abroad with their ex.

brlucas92 · Answer

Run. Run far away and never look back.

Vmm90 · Answer

Did they actually book it prior to breaking up?

aKsiMetre · Answer

Did you believe that?

king34 · Answer

I don't know about feelings but he might smash

Decentguy · Answer

sounds pretty fishy to me.

QuietRunner · Answer

do you trust him? I think he might be using you

mattybtraps99 · Answer

DUMPPPPP

CT_CD · Answer

yeah

AlexDelux · Answer

Can happen

Anonymous · Answer

That ain't right.

Boyfriend traveling abroad with ex girlfriend - does he still have feelings for her?

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