boyfriend wants to join the military and wants me to wait for him?

My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years (on and off) asked me if I would wait for him if he joined the military. I am a 32 yr old divorcee with two children, my boyfriend has two children, and we live together. My ex was an over the road truck driver, and him being gone so much physically and mentally and emotionally, and then coming back after 2 years angry and mean and drunk, is what brought about my divorce. I told my boyfriend that while I do not want him to go, I would never tell him not to go. I also told him that I do not want to be alone waiting to be loved and held again, and that while I’m not 100% closed off to the idea, I KNOW I would not wait for a boyfriend. Being 32 and divorced and Having two kids, I’m not going to look young forever, n I don’t want to grow old alone. I worry for my future, and if I were to promise to spend the last few years of my youth waiting for my man to come home, that he would need to be making a promise to me as well, I wouldn’t wait for a boyfriend, but I would, hypothetically in the future, wait for my fiancé or husband to come back home, but not a boyfriend, because a boyfriend is a man that has promised me nothing, and should therefor not be asking me to make promises. I also said that I feel that our relationship needs more of our time before enlisting is a possibility, we need to let our relationship grow to a point where we are both ready to make promises to each other, before we could even consider this without breaking our relationship.
His response-
i am what terrifies military men the most. Women like me keep them up at night, it’s women like me that cheat on their soldiers and drive them to suicide.

Recap, So, because he is making this CHOICE, me n my kids r supposed to just go along for the ride n hope it turns out ok n throw our own hopes n dreams n wants n needs out the window? This isn’t something he has to do, it’s something he wants to do. But what about what the rest of us want? Am I really being so selfish?
boyfriend wants to join the military and wants me to wait for him?
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